Reading these suicide pages you will find people seeking help and people offering their help. Some witness about suicide from real life experience, others who play along with me would pretend it's a children's game. Some make sick and cruel jokes about it, and angry people blame me for even mentioning the subject. You might also want to read my favourite answers. If you want your answer to be included here, fill in the form.

Date Name/email

What is the best way to kill yourself when you're under 13?

Quelle est la meilleure forme de suicide pour les moins de 13 ans?
15 Jul 2003 the gay punk oh shit, the last time i wrote was exactly seven days ago?

yeah you know what happened to me this sunday, two guys were undressing in front of me, and they were straight (and oh to the fact that i wanted to kill myself that day). yeah remember i told you about my cousin and his baseball team? yeah after the game so his teammate or whatever just like took of his pants without a care and omigosh you can see his package in those pants. it was "kind" of him though it did creep me out i was like, "i know you're from small town america but hey, you should really think twice before you take off your pants in public/broad daylight). and there was this other guy who was fully on his boxers.

ok i'm not gonna talk about naked guys anymore, let's talk about the matter at hand: suicide. a hundred times i have been convincing you kids here, gay or straight to not do IT. WS, please don't kill yourself, yes you might be proving a point that those homophobic assholes are pressuring you and shit and you can't take it anymore so you'll do it, and they'll realize being homophobic is wrong. but it backfires, if you die (which 99% chance you are), there is one less homo in this world, and they win again, and we shall never let them win. and to just a girl and will, please post something, like a hi. just don't give me signs that you are dead, ok?

15 Jul 2003 lora I wish i knew... then i'd be dead, although i'd say prob jumpin off a tall buildin or summin
15 Jul 2003 jom when you're 13, be not aggressive! just go out fuck anyone you see! suck them even if they don't want to! then when they got angry just keep on doing until he will kill you on the spot! at least you will have no guilt feeling when you go to hell!
15 Jul 2003 Jennifer The reason that I wanna die is that well maybe I have problems and think of things in a different way than most people. I do not believe that I was put here for any reason at all. I think that this was all a mistake and I was put on earth by accident. I look to the stars each night wondering why and feeling this loneliness as if I was forgotten by a different race of people. I think I made a u-turn and it was an accident that I ended up on earth. I see things different. I sometimes think that I can hear and feel animals pain. I can read people. I feel the pain for people who do not see the earth as the shithole it is turning into. I speak my voice on abusing people and animals and I am laughed at. I have dreams of places I do not know and have not seen. I am not normal. I feel now that on my 21st year I have to die to prove a point. I want the world to see that they are all slowly killing the race of humanity. They are all going to suffer for how they treat themselves. I know that there are others out there who think like me. But I can no longer stay here. I was always told in dreams of my pregnancy that would take place on my 18th year of life. That indeed came true. And the child was taken away due to his father almost killing him. He was to be a child of the light. I am now told that because I let him slip away and this child almost died, that due to this on my 21st year I will die for not letting him be raised by me. I was to teach him the natural ways, Now it will all be lost and my point for being here is now totally lost. I will be dead soon. But the voices tell me that it will have to be by my own hands. What do I do?
14 Jul 2003 Chris I'm back! You thought that I commited suicicide, I didn't! I don't know why but I'm still alive. Last time I wrote something for my friends at Mouchette was at sometime in April! Oh what a long time. I tried to live without Mouchette and without thinking about suicide but I ended up here again and in these hot summer months suicide is very much almost at the top of the agenda!

Summer is really with us again and along with all of the excellent things that the long hot months bring such as barbecues, beers by the beach, busy bars and restaurants and long drinks during the long hot evenings, come the usual (for me anyway) disastrous things. What do I mean? Well, for instance, every year I buy a new pair of swimming shorts and every year I look less like like the guy in the brochure illustrating them. It doesn't matter what I do I can't make my legs look good in a pair of shorts. Which leads me to the next problem...

A suntan! For some reason unknown to the modern scientific world my body refuses to tan, I just turn a vivid, ugly pink then go back to my normal sickly pallor. Every summer I have arguments with sexy girls about the fact that I try to spend at least several hours in the sun at the weekend in my vain attempt to get a healthy colour, while ten minutes at the beach is about their limit. They turn a gorgerous golden brown while I remain a patchwork of varying shades of pink. Which leads me to my next problem...

Tummies! Everyone is obsessed by their stomach during the summer, I for one have now practically perfected the art of speaking while sucking in my belly button till it almost meets my spine, so if you encounter a little guy at the beach who looks as if he is critically constipated and is speaking in short gasps, don't worry, it's only me trying to pretend that I am Brad Pitt!

To make matters worse and even summer (where I should be enjoying my holidays) more suicidal I have to put up with the regular beach perverts and freaks. Where do these guys go for the winter months? Wherever it is they are back again every June through October gracing our beaches with their antics. You know the chaps I mean, they are to be found not more than two metres away from any attractive female on the beach (under eighty and in possession of a pulse qualifies as attractive in their book apparently) staring fixedly at her while practising their juggling under their towel, at least that's what it looks like they are up to anyweay! And can anyone tell me why it is that in these times of gender equality women don't behave like this when they see young men at the beach? I've certainly never been pestered but I imagine my ugly pink legs sticking out of the baggy shorts, my hopeless suntan and my growing tummy are explanation enough for that lack of attention.

I come up with only two real solutions. The first one is suicide! The second is, (now that I've heard from Felicia that Lucy has become a surgeon), surgery, you know, just take away some fat, create some built up body and somehow some sexy tan. The last idea (which is not a solution at all) is like Kurt Cobain said "I am ugly but (at least) so are you"

P.S I cannot give an e-mail address right now because of some problems.
See you all in hell, at a surgeon or disgustingly on the beach!
14 Jul 2003 Bridgett LOL are you guys serious or is this some kinda sick ass joke. Any ways if you wanna really killl yourself fast and easy take 100 zanax, 12 oxycots an drink some jeam beam. Oh make sure someone over 21 gets all this for ya.
14 Jul 2003 xxx eat lots of porridge
14 Jul 2003 Alin Pastrama Play doctor using real instruments, including lasers.
12 Jul 2003 Juliette Toutes les réponses sont en anglais. Je croyais qu'il avait une partie pour les francophones. Il y a vraiment des petits de 13 ans qui pensent à ça??? Ils n'ont qu'a faire semblant non? Fermer les yeux et dire je me suis suicidée. Moi je pense que c'est le meilleur moyen.
12 Jul 2003 Phil Good morning Charlie! Or good morning Moucchie, rather!! Ok time to get this serious, this aint charlies angels. I dont have an amazing ass like Cameron Diaz. I am not an amazing and beautiful singer like britney spears. oh hang on... shes not an amazing singer, thats right.
She came from a mickey mouse show and now christina aguilera is fisting her and riding on motorbikes..

even I can do better.

no i cant. well, i wanna organise a suicide group pact. I want to get the biggest group together ever to do a suicide. like in the Simpsons with David Blaine and they all died in front of the white house.
this may not be as glamourous.. but we can all die in front of Britney Spears' hotel room... and give her a shock.

It wont be long before she gets drunk on a park bench after poor record sales, and tops herself.
11 Jul 2003 Trinity Casey Take every goddamn pill or tablet in the medicine cabinet. Then wash it all down with daddy's best vodka.
11 Jul 2003 Deaths Secret Stick your dick in a blender and chop away. Use this technique if you're a pain freak.

Stick a hose in the tailpipe of your car, start it up. Put the other end of the hose in the backseat. If you're in a garage close the garage door. You'll pass out in 10 minutes. Then you'll wake up dead and realize you still exist, just without a body.
11 Jul 2003 shyann i dont see why anyone would try to kill themself if they're under 13. i'm almost 17 and trust me when i say shit can get better trust me. i've slit my wrists and all that shit before but i look back on it now like i was such a dumb ass! keep yo head up!
11 Jul 2003 Rosanna If you really think about it there is no best way to kill yourself. Because in killing yourself you would ruin your future that can change your life. You need to quit being childish and live to see what the future holds for you. God has a much better future for you if you let him into your life and quit thinking negative thoughts.Things that happen bad in your life are for reasons to make you stronger in the lord. so just think about what your talking about.
11 Jul 2003 Rosanna There is no best way to kill yourself when your under 13. Because no matter what there is no future. So your beter off just trying to change your mind about killing yourself. God has better plans for you in the future.
10 Jul 2003 W S i really wish i had the guts to kill myself. it would have to be quick, cos id hate to suffer. athough, having said that, i would deserve the suffering!!!! i wish i knew someone with a gun...........
09 Jul 2003 will hi gay punk. well, i made a mistake with the registration papers of my old car i sold. when it goes to court, i will have a huge fine and possibly imprisonment. makes me suicidal thinkin about it......
09 Jul 2003 gabi hauke enhale water constantly
09 Jul 2003 W S perhaps if we all killed ourselves, the world would be a peaceful place. well, it would be without me, because truthfully, no one would miss me. and im being honest now. why was i not born dead like my brother? well, i was born to suffer. in punishment for my sins. im gay, i got CMT, a muscle wasting condition. i was given this for being evil in a former life. i let people down all the time. sorry everyone...
08 Jul 2003 Felicia had a breast implant done. You know, I was always wondering about Lucy Cortina and Billy the Freak. I read all of Lucy's posts. Then I read Billy's. Yes, Madame Lucy, I am but nosey rather than big busted and I'm one of your greatest admirers who wished to have replicas of your wondrous casabas.

One night I was looking at the SPICE channel for a good hour. I analyzed it and realized that all these entertainers had breasts enlargements the size of cantaloupes with marshmallow-like qualities. Most of the girls were lesbians I suppose, so if I stared long enough, no doubt, I think I might be lesbian; However, I like men at the same time, especially the ones with effeminate qualities like Clay Aiken of American Idol. (Sorry Clay, you kind of stick out like Barry Manillow in the crowd. But I bought the front cover of you for the Rolling Stone. I still love you though.)

Well anyways, one day, I took a trip to a breast surgeon. Paperwork had to get filled out and I was wondering if I had insurance coverage for extensive cosmetic surgery. In the charts, I was advised if the surgeon can suck out the fat from my tummy and stick it in my chest or use that silicone stuff that Demi Moore and Carmen Elektra uses. I decided to go for the works. In a display case, I saw the silicone models and picked up each one to feel the texture. One felt cushy like a slipper sea urchin. It wiggled like jello and it slid out of my hand into the plastic case. The second one felt like a sandwich bag filled with silly putty. It just felt so artificial and pokey. The third one felt like a silk glove, so I chose that one. It balanced so perfectly in place. After my selection, the doctor got a marking pen and placed circles and lines all over my upper chest, and I was given chart diagrams for particular breast sizes. Staring in the mirror for a long amount of time, I looked like the directional chart for a football game strategy itinerary.

That final day came when the anesthesiologist put the triangular orifice over my teeny flat nose and mouth. Under my hospital gown, my boobs were covered. A breathing respirator was to my left, and a needle was placed in my right arm. The anesthesiologist directed me to count from 100 backwards. I did.
100...99...98....(my head started buzzing and everybody sounded like children on helium.)

(Then lights out.)

I slightly woke up again and felt my head circling from nausea. There was Lucy Cortina standing before me in doctor garb. OMIGAWD!!! She's a doctor. She took her doctor hat and facemask off and whispered in a sweet voice;

"Now Felicia. Abracadabra! You now have wondrous casabas!"

An hour later, I was then wheeled to the recovery room to have relief from the surgery. Three weeks later it was time to have the stitches removed. Bandages were still in place and lights all pointed to my chest. Dr. Cortina removed the bandages and removed the stitches, and later I stared into the mirror. My mouth flew open wide.

- to be continued till next week.

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