|Reading these suicide pages you will find people seeking help and people offering their help. Some witness about suicide from real life experience, others who play along with me would pretend it's a children's game. Some make sick and cruel jokes about it, and angry people blame me for even mentioning the subject. You might also want to read my favourite answers. If you want your answer to be included here, fill in the form.|
What is the best way to kill yourself when you're under 13?
Quelle est la meilleure forme de suicide pour les moins de 13 ans?
|02 May 2003||Felicia-Your Advisor, The Next Dear Ann Landers||Dear Depressed 24/7
You know, if you feel you are leery about being infected and money is not the option at the moment, please go to the nearest Planned Parenthood center for a diagnosis. This will clear your conscience through your horrible crisis, and give you back your sense of self worth. Violence in the streets is ever so prevalent in this world as well as at home. Feeling entrapped or entrapment, the feeling of being caught between the devil and the deep blue sea can drive one to deep depression. I support you through your hardship with sincerity. Please be gentle to yourself, and for the both of us, give yourself a hug. Realize that with every gray cloud in the sky, there is a silver lining.
As for the life of your two year old, please understand that contemplating on killing yourself is not a solution. A two year old needs his or her mother. A two year old without a mother is the greatest sadness in the world. Whether or not you have a disease, doesnt mean life should end. If you are unable to handle life in general, seek the help of a friend or close relative. If all options are unavailable, come back to this site and have a talk with me, or talk to a suicide crisis center, because living the pain of living life on your own can be very scary. Hold strong to your convictions that all misery will soon pass and believed that things could only change for the better only if you allow it to
Being isolated from friends who believe you have something contagious were not friends to begin with. A friend is one who sticks by you no matter what the circumstance is. Make new friends; get involved in organizations that support the less unfortunate. I found that volunteer work helping others has opened my eyes to other possibilities, and gave me additional help by just word of mouth, especially with your circumstance. If this is not for you and you feel there is never time, suicide should not be your option. Stare the fear out and have faith in yourself. Dont believe the negative jargon that you hear, but stay with the positive. Stay away from negative people from now on.
This is not the end, but the beginning.
- Sincerely - Felicia
|02 May 2003||Liz||i am 13, and i really wanna die right now. the only thing holding me back is the memories that i will miss with my friends, and some of my family. how many pills will it take 2 kill yourself so i dont mess up? i dont wanna go 2 hell but i dont wanna be here either! email me with answers|
|01 May 2003||Lucy Cortina||This just ain't funny anymore. Whoever offended God in my name must step forward now. Why does he hate me so much??
Surely he can't be jealous of my ability to grow such strong, healthy boobies? I mean, they were even bigger than Buddha's, and God planned to spike Buddha's jam doughnuts with Bust-reductO juice in the end.
I long to see the day when Britney Spears is aged 50 and still dancing around in bed-sheets and skirts that barely cover her ass. Well, she covers her face with makeup anyway, so we never get to see the real ass. Anyway, she's dancing at age 50, when suddenly her breasts explode live on stage, because God hates her because on her 49th birthday she finally gave in and shed her virginity, by reading a Jackie Collins novel.
Back to the point the latest horreur in my 'life' ('existence' might be a more suitable word), was waking up from a dream, where I was being chased by an enormous ass. For once, I wasn't being chased by Britney Spears. Or even J-Lo for that matter *snigger* (that reminds me J-Lo attempted to poach Kylie Minogue's ass-makeup-stylist this week, as reported in recent news. Afraid to say it J-Lo, but the only makeup you will get on that ass will be a certain type from your Dear Ben).
Anyway I went to the bathroom to cleanse and tone. As the warm water from the iron tap cascaded into the sink, I looked down.
And let out a scream.
There was poo in the sink! There WAS!! I'm not joking. So I ran screaming down the stairs and around the house, like a Marathon runner, and did about 10 laps of the whole place. Once the horreur had been released from my young and sensitive brain which, incidentally, is like a sponge, and soaks up tragedy like this in an instant I crept back into the bathroom. The sight was still the same, except I had left the tap running and now water was gushing over the rim of the sink. And the water was not alone. Poo was floating on top of it... and getting closer to me by the second! So I once again ran screaming down the stairs. But the poo was following me! Like a stalker!
The water was starting to rise to the level where my smoothly-shaved legs were. I ran faster. The poo floated faster. Then suddenly... I tripped over one of my sisters Barbie dolls.
Head first onto the water-filled floor.
The poo floated closer... and closer... and closer....
I couldn't get back up! Help! HELP me!
It floated closer.. and closer...
And I woke up.
I had fallen asleep in the back yard in my sisters paddling pool, which may explain the watery dream. As soon as the thought occurred to me... it became reality. My sister was there too and she was not alone.
It's a shame Mum doesn't affix a shopping bag around her legs instead of using cheapo nappies from Kwik Save.
How could anything else contain such an enormous, and smelly bulge?
|01 May 2003||bob||shoot yourself|
|01 May 2003||Myra||THIS IS FUCKING SICK.... WHOEVER IS WRITING ALL THIS SHIT, SHOULD SEEK SERIOUS MEDICAL HELP. SUICIDE IS NOT THE ANSWER, IF YOU THINK THERE IS NOTHING LEFT.. JUST THINK AND U WILL FIND SOMETHING... THE WORLD HAS ALREADY LOST TOO MANY PEOPLE.|
|30 Apr 2003||Felicia - Your advising Angel||Dear Ender Wiggen,
Thats no problem. Im glad you had the chance to stop by. I guess you read a few of my posts and realized that I gave more than my fair share of advice. If not, then you probably read through some funnier material in the favorites section of the Mouchette boards involving Lucy Cortina and Billy the Freak. But for you to come here for some suggestions, I am going to lend a pair of open eyes seriously.
When you feel pent up it is always best to talk to a stranger. Especially the ones who have experienced your situation.
Its ironic at times. It seems that psychiatric help is just going to meeting sessions and pouring out your heart. Then you pay the listeners for listening to you and they give you medication for it. One or two hour sessions are not enough to eliminate your pain. Now I am not saying that psychiatric help is hopeless, I do agree that it is alright to have therapy, but you need to be picky by going to a trusted professional with great credentials. The same goes for looking for a great mechanic. Chose your helpers wisely and remember not to always give handouts to those who hunger for your loose change sad to say, its not always the homeless that ask for handouts or value meals.
Dont down yourself out in being a geek. I think geeks are cool. Many beautiful men and women like the sophisticated smart types. Sci-Fi games and science looked down by "normal" or "cool people"? I know of a drug dealer who loves to watch Star Trek, Star Wars, and Quantum Leap. He also plays Dungeons and Dragons for all hours of the night, and is still a bit of a shady character. His friends consider him cool and normal. As for me, I think he is a narcissistic sociopath with a cool smart guy appearance? I once dated him and he broke up with me because I was like a sheep to him. He changed his name to Scott. (Apologies to Scott Bakula) I have a nickname for him.... Scott Evil.
My suggestion though. Dont get evil. Its the silent, smart types that worry me.
And the people that scoff at you for being a typecast geek. Tell them they have issues that they should tend to themselves and to M.T.O.B. Some people never take the time to gather their thoughts and throw judgment to others and themselves way too quickly.
Drugs, even prescribed, can sometimes be hazardous to our system, even if it starts to makeone feel good. The main cure for all these disorders is exercise, eating well, and running with the dog on the beach (Well, thats only if you have a dog.). If you are sitting in front of a computer terminal too long, blood starts to coagulate; you lose brain function through blood loss and have a tendency to get really depressed.
The blood and your engine need to get moving. Endorphins, nature's natural drug can do wonders every time. I swim in the pool every morning and run. My therapist gives back rubs and great tips on health. Okay, so it sounds expensive, but you can run for free and it doesnt cost a dime, except for the expensive pair of Nike Running shoes and sore muscles. Honestly, they are cheaper than prescriptions.
Stay away from the placebos and use them as decoration in the office cube. If a fellow office workercomes about and is curious about them, have them take a few, and tell them to come back for more if there are no results.
Dont consider that your friends that never contact you are unkind. Friends are really hard to find nowadays. Hmmm Sounds like a Karen Carpenter song. Well if your friends never returned your calls just consider it their loss and concentrate on you.Perhaps they have issues to deal with and are too involved with other new things in their lives. Make new friends because you cannot have too many friends in this world.
Its only natural that it takes time to get to know people. That proves that you are not fake. Getting to know people is very wise in the health department and money smart. Just a note, if you first meet someone, such as a blind date, and they try to borrow money from you right away from them flee flee... far away.
I worked for a large company too and got laid off. Dont blame it on yourself that the economy is bad.
The economy is bad, period. I decided to go for freelance writing and getting published and doing part time work here and there. The only way you can make it big is buying stock (which I dont think is wise right now) or thinking up an invention or a song lyric that comes to your mind. Look at some of the groups nowadays. They write musical lyrics with depressing words in it, and later, it becomes a big hit. Dont ever think that you are not musically inclined. At 34 going on 14, I am thinking about taking piano lessons.
My friend you are not alone in this world of woes. It seems that suffering is an ongoing process which never stops. I for one can understand that even if you are succeeding, something always steps in the way. Just now I got a rejection note from a part time job in the mail. And a rejection note from a publishing company, and more rejections. I can write forever about my failures and rejections.
1.) I got rejected from Macys because I was too over qualified.
2.) A 30-year-old drug dealer rejected me.
3.) I once lived with a bitchy roommate and had to spend time taking care of a feisty, geriatric mother. Now I dont live with the bitchy roommate.
4.) My car registration needs a change of address.
5.) I need an oil change.
6.) I feel bummed that I gained back ten pounds.
7.) My Micrel stock is plummeting.
8.) Im a starving artist.
9.) Applied 100 times, replies 0.
10.) I telemarketed for a garbage company and recently got canned.
11.) I am not in love with the guy I am with and love somebody else.
If you feel that you are at the end of your rope. Try this method. Dont over analyze your life. Never conform to the standards of this world. Just be you. Take the time to walk and gulp in a breath of fresh air. Look at the stars at night and remember that billions upon billions of these stars are both over our heads, and the shooting ones are the ones you make wishes upon. If you are way too analytic and not into this mushy stuff. Write a journal of your thoughts and begin with I have every right to be here as much as anybody else and there is so much to life that I didnt experience and never go to do". Think of that one thing that means something to you and do it, despite the boundaries. Suicide is not the suggestion though but living life is.
Never be sorry about your lengthy post. It is okay to fear the unknown and be reassured that loneliness can be broken if you start opening up to theirs.
Things to do if you want to begin (These are just suggestions):
1.) Take up piano lessons.
2.) Fold Origami
3.) Take up surfing (Dont drown)
4.) Skydiving (Have a good parachute)
5.) Learn to cook
6.) Clean the house
7.) Read up on a good science fiction book
8.) Think up an invention
9.) Help an unfortunate one
10.) Adopt a pet
11.) Learn to fix cars
12.) Update your hard drive
13.) Set up a goal list.
16.) Take a nap
17.) Glass blowing
19.) Setting up an e-bay account
20.) Listening to positive music
21.) Good Spiritual cleansing
25.) Swimming (Dont drown please!)
26.) Sun bathing
28.) Take classes
29.) Call your parent
30.) Eat at your favorite restaurant
31.) Go to Tower Records
32.) Build a Model rocket kit
33.) Buy a telescope
34.) Burn cds
35.) Throw away your weight scale
36.) Join a marathon
37.) Go on dates , be a mentor, and the list goes on.
I hope this advice helps you along the way. Good luck and think positive. I remember that you are trully are not alone in this world.
|30 Apr 2003||guy behind the girl||Wiggen, just to say, a lot of the thingz u suffer from, such as SA are things i also suffer from and is the reason I ended up at this website.|
|30 Apr 2003||Depressed24/7||Well I recently found out that I may have slept with someone who was infected and that i may too be indeed infected and it's scary to think that I might die from a sickness which is painful suffering and of course other will look at me as if i have cooties.
I haven't yet been diagnosed with anything but I have heard the rumours about him and what he is supposed to have and I can't ask him anything cause he has been shot and killed and now I'm left with this empty feeling and don't wanna suffer and die. I just would rather die with less suffering like in my sleep somehow or I'd even rather just be shot and die immediatly but I have a son and he is only 2 and I'm 20 and I would hate for him to see me suffer and in pain. I'm a weak person I suppose and I hate pain. I don't know if this would be right cause I don't totally agree with suicide and it's a Big Sin but what am I to do if I'm gonna die anyway of a slow suffering pain........ I'm so scared....... I contemplated on a few ways to take the plundge, overdose on some kinda pill maybe extacy or do something crazy that would make someone revenge on me and shoot and kill me or await my fate of death.... well if any of you have some helpful advise and ways that are painless of killing myself please tell me
|30 Apr 2003||tonkin||now im 17 and i think of suicide is a bad thing in many respects. people run away from problems and get stuck cant run anymore, and take a thew pills and ring the police. well this is not sucide this is a cry for help. real sucide is when u have had it with life and no point goin on. these people just die by jumping or shooting themselves. they do this and not tell anyone about what they r goin to do. that is true sucide, no letter, nothin cos real sucides dont get pity. people wanting help by tryin to commit sucide is the wrong way about it. look at ur self and think the life im leadin is shit make an other start again get lost somewhere else forget ur past and start a new person whatever ur done or what. the funny thing is u know that rule that americans my country britian go on about is freedom, u can do what u want. i think its ur choice if u want to end ur life not a mental hospital or ur mother father sister ur choice u control ur own life ur should have the choice to end it. i have no sympathy on people that take there lives because its stupid. the best option what i normally do when somthin happens just shrug it off dont care about it cos time is the answer to all problems and u need alot of that to get over on what u have problems with. if you want to point a different opinion mail me and post it on here.|
|30 Apr 2003||Ender Wiggen||I've read alot of posts on this board of people giving reasons why suicide is stupid, hurtful to loved ones, etc. And what moves me is that so many of you have posted your e-mails and have given warm invitations to talk.
To be honest I've never articulated to anyone why I consider suicide, but one of the posts here offered a word of advice: talk to a stranger. Maybe someone here can offer me some advice.
All my life I've been "different". One reason for this difference I have discovered is an anxiety disorder that I have (the psychiatrist
I saw diagnosed me with Obsessive Compulsive Disorder, Attention Deficit Disorder, and mild Social Phobia. Whoopee. The psychiactric value meal. Can I have fries with that?).
I'm also a geek. I like science, sci-fi, games, etc. Things that "normal" or "cool" people look upon with contempt.
As for the "disorders" I have, I've tried drugs: Prozac for the OCD, Ritalin for the ADD, he even wanted me to try Paxil for the Social Anxiety disorder but frankly I don't want to gain 100 pounds and lose the ability to maintain an erection. I think I'd get more social anxiety from the cure than the disease.
In short, the drugs don't really work. I know this because the happiest time of my life was the 2 years after college when I got a job and finally realized that I wasn't a complete waste of flesh and could actually succeed in the real world (I had an extremely low self opinion from grade school through the end of college). I was on prozac and ritalin before this time and was in hell, and then once the novelty wore off from this time I came back to hell. Since then I've dropped the meds and have noticed no difference.
When it comes to people, I have a very small group of close knit friends. It takes me a while to feel comfortable around people, which means I don't make friends easily and the ones I do make tend to be very close. A while back, two of my closest friends had an argument and haven't spoken in over a year. Recently, for reasons I have yet to understand, one of them up and stopped talking to me. I tried to call a couple times and talk to him to find out what I did but he didn't return my calls. That was six months ago. I can't describe how hurt I feel because of that. I'm not saying I'm completely innocent, I must have done something, but the least he could do would be to tell me what.
Now recently I have begun to be rated poorly at my job. It might have something to do with the fact that they laid off all the really mediocre people and I'm now left to compete with the Einsteins.
So the truth of the matter is this, I have come full circle. I, once again, feel like a failure career-wise, and the rate at which I seem to lose or lose touch with friends is faster than the rate I gain new ones. I'm doomed to be lonely.
I feel like this is as much as I am capable of growing and it's just not enough. You'd think I'd have made some progress in life emotionally, today I'm 27, tomorrow I'll be 30 and the same person. I could spend years fumbling around emotionally blind trying to find happiness, but somehow I think I'll just keep ending up back here, feeling alone,
depressed, and like a failure.
Where do I go from here? I've laid out two possibilities:
1) I move to another state (I've lived in Arizona all my life) and try my best to find happiness. Perhaps the new surroundings will spark something inside me that Arizona has snuffed.
2) I drive out to the country, play some techno, and take 100 2mg Klonopin tablets.
Is it better to be alive and in fear and loneliness, or to be dead and feel nothing? Sweet nothingness.
I welcome any constructive advice. Thanks and sorry for the length of this post.
|29 Apr 2003||concerned soul||Mark - stay on this website. it will keep u alive. I like the tales of breasts and sexy pies etc. on this website.
sexy pies? well if its steak and kidney, i am game ;)
|29 Apr 2003||mark||I'm very suicidal, i've tried killing myself so many times, but each time i stop myself. I'm just not strong enough to kill myself. I started being suicidal when i was 8 i'm now 11 and its only gotten worse. Please tell me if there is any way for me to gather the strength to end my misery!!!!!!!!!!|
|29 Apr 2003||Billy||tomorrow i go for my drug test and it will be my 4th violation and im aware of the court so im probably going back to jail and then to either a drug rehab or a group home and im only 13. i have bipolar disorder too and my parents argue all the time so that makes it worse. i think im going to take as much of my medication as i can consume and then slice my arteries in my legs and hang myself.|
|29 Apr 2003||Lucy Cortina||Felicia baby, do not fear. In my darkest moments I was thinking "I don't need to do this...", when an angelic light appeared. Do you know what the light was shining on? It was shining directly upon the packet of chocolate and caramel biscuits on the table next to my bed. I reached up with my frailest of hands, I barely had the energy to lift the biscuit to my decaying mouth. As I was doing so, my sister ran into my room screaming "booby booby booby booby booby.... Mummy had a poo". I had no clue as to what planet she was currently visiting. Anyway, as she was so kind, she decided we would have a party with the chocolate and caramel biscuits. She didn't realise it at the time, but she was stopping my suicidal thoughts. She brought in party poperers, and most importantly - balloons. These are what saved my life. I was able to pump them up and pop them under my t-shirt, so it looked like I had a cleavage again. Until one of them popped, and I ran to the kitchen to overdose on my mum's cod liver oil capsules. I may end up looking like a cod. Good grief, I didn't think of that at the time! I don't want a "trout pout" like those other celebs. And I don't wanna end up looking like a fish!
Oh well... I guess if I do, some loony with a rod will pluck me out of this crazy sea of life, and cover me with batter and oil. And I will end up on a plate next to mushy peas in some Fish and Chip rstaurant in the backstreets London. Then to earn money I will become a fish-prostitute. Ok, my mind is racing too far ahead now! Time for my Prozac...
|29 Apr 2003||life||There are people with fucked up lives who managed to make a new beggining. You are not suicidal, you're just too lazy. Next time someone needs your help offer it, keep doing that and you'll see what life is all about cause someone from all of those you helped will become your salvation|
|29 Apr 2003||daryl||Man I used to be so mentally strong, i never used to care, i was happy. But now before my eyes i see myself being beaten down by life. I'm in debt, i've got 2 court cases coming up, driving offences, which i constantly worry about. I'm single and i'm struggling to be strong . I've changed, i'm going soft, i can't handle pressure any more. I hate my job it makes me sick. The only comfort i have is when i hide in my music and forget all around me. I wish i was never born. I'll go to heaven because i spent my life in hell. There's only 1 way relieve the pressure on my shoulders. There is so much more than this.|
|29 Apr 2003||Chris||LUCY CORTINA- I know you're always fussing about your enormous breasts. So here it is, I've found you a job where you can use your breasts at maximum capacity. Why don't you become a (drum roll please)... prostitute! Men (including me) love large breasts and in case you are thinking that yours are too enormous to handle I have found you a solution also. Recently in a newspaper dated Tuesday, April 8, 2003 I read this article, which if you are interested you can use. Here it goes..
Hanky Panky sex school
The former madam of a Dutch escort agency has opened a Hanky Panky school for prostitutes to teach the world's oldest profession how to make more money.
Elene Vis-whose frank autobiography "Escort Queen with Turbopower" made her a Dutch tabloid darling-opened the school last week in a luxury Amsterdam canal house to offer prostitutes exclusive sales training to boost their business.
Come on Lucy. Apart from the standard "up the ass treatment", "through the cunt treatment" and the "blowjob treatment" you can offer "wobbly breast suck treatment" or "hide and seek, try to find your hidden dick between my breasts treatment", and other Lucy specialities. If you are thinking about the SSSS missions don't worry. You couldn't do better than become a prostitute. When men are having sex with beautiful girls with large breasts, you'll be surprised how easy you can suck out information out of them. They are high, they don't know what they are doing or saying and they will tell you anything you want to know. Come on Lucy, you know it makes sense, you will make more money, your breasts will find peace because they will realise that they are useful, it helps the SSSS and the prostitute school bill is on the SSSS.
See ya in a brothel!
|28 Apr 2003||Cayl||Essayer d'atteindre les 99 ans.|
|28 Apr 2003||Liam Cunningham||talk to sue harrison at furness college. that is very painful|
|28 Apr 2003||Michael||Hello,
My name is Michael. I'm 29 years old and have contemplated suicide many times. I actually tried committing suicide close to a dozen times. My reasons are all in vain and I just cannot get out of slumps at times. I have a wonderful family and a g/f that adores me. She has meant the world for me for some time, but I decided to end our relationship a short while ago due to my selfishness. I feel like she may not be the one for me and she is wasting her time. She has given me so much to live for, but in the back of my mind I am not happy and want to depart from this world. I figure if I break up with her, then hurting her will not be so bad. My family will be devastated and I do not know what else to do. I was in a psychiatric hospital this past June for about 8 or 9 days. It was eye opening. I mean, I see people who are really mentally ill. I am your average guy. I think most people would never think I have the problems that I do. Of course, you cannot read someone's mind, but I think, most people see someone who seems unstable and can gather a clue. Anyway, I have just tied a noose around my pull up machine and have been looking at it for the past few hours. I have tried popping pills and carbon Monoxide, but it never worked. I honestly want a peaceful death. I am hoping little pain is involved and it will be like going to sleep. I feel terrible for my family and friends, but I am sooo unhappy with my job, my looks and other things I pay way too much attention to. I went to college and work at a job that I just cannot stand. It's hard to leave when you are making good money. Everyone tells me how attractive I am and I just do not see it. I have been thinking I've been going bald since about 8th grade. I still have full head of hair, but I start just really looking. Looking too much and it drives me nuts. I'm so vain. It's horrible. I'm very sad and wish life was just so much easier for me. That's the strange part. It's not a bad life, but I keep paying attention to detail instead of looking at the whole picture. I just wish these thoughts and pain would go away. I have taken medication but I do not like the feeling it gives me. i feel like a vegetable. That is not me. So I'm not taking that crap. For any kids that are 13 years old.... death is not the answer. You have so much to look forward to. Do well in school and the world is yours. I know growing up in a dysfunctional family makes things so much harder, belive me... I know. But when you get through the forest it opens up into a vast ocean. It's seemless and never ends. Find help within your friends if you feel uncomfortable discussing it with your family. I know that age is awkward, but stay focused and do what you need to to survive. Life can be an amazing thing if you play your cards right. Peace, love and happiness... Hopefully I will not see you any time soon!