|Reading these suicide pages you will find people seeking help and people offering their help. Some witness about suicide from real life experience, others who play along with me would pretend it's a children's game. Some make sick and cruel jokes about it, and angry people blame me for even mentioning the subject. You might also want to read my favourite answers. If you want your answer to be included here, fill in the form.|
What is the best way to kill yourself when you're under 13?
Quelle est la meilleure forme de suicide pour les moins de 13 ans?
|15 Jun 2003||just me||i think helium az 2 b da besy way2 go. all u need is a 600 balloon tank of helium, a value thingy, a tube and an oxygen mask. its as easy 2 breathe as air n in 30 mins ull be as dead as a dead thing. the only prob is gettin all da stuff|
|14 Jun 2003||Emily||Just a girl's tomato soup remedy was sickeningly beautiful. I don't know why I'm still here but I started another book.|
|14 Jun 2003||Get Fucked||oh yeah you notice how none of us are actually giving this person ways to kill themselves? we are either bitching about how one of us is more depressed than the other, or how all the depressed people are sick. like i'm lost|
|14 Jun 2003||WHy the hell am i even writing this||this website is kinda deeky, but i like it because you all have interesting opinions, and i noticed how much we all fucking swear, jesus, we are fucked up, like our opinions on here are gonna make a huge impact anyways, like we know best we are just fucking teenagers, like anyone is gonna listen to us, according to adults we are the ones that fuck everything up. but i think its the adults that are dumb. i hope one day they realize what fucking babies they are|
|14 Jun 2003||silence||People on this earth are fucked up. Depressed or not. we are all screwed up somehow|
|14 Jun 2003||Kokanee||It's good to see some of the world is happy|
|14 Jun 2003||Bimmer||The reason people think people who want to kill themselves are sick is because they don't know how it feels. it's virtually impossible to explain without sounding like a fucking retard. so until you know what you're talking about shut up and freaking out at people with mental issues, because if you are so perfect then why are you visiting such a fucked up site like this|
|14 Jun 2003||the gay punk||hi just a girl. thank ?god? that i still have people like you to cling on to.
friday the 13th is such the shit. as i thought, hey, i'd smash my head in the toilet in remembrance of the elusive derrick, all of that was stopped.
the fucking guy was there.
i was like, shit, you fucker stop playing games with me, you don't exist. but he was there. and we sort of had this conversation (in a group of people, please don't hate me because i am popular in school, i am popular in school as a freak!) the coppers are still gonna take him away though, but that's for NEXT WEEK!!! oh, lucy, just a girl, and will, and felicia i am so happy!! i still had the chance to see him.
i didn't tell him that i loved him though.
|14 Jun 2003||will||hey just a girl, have they still got water restrictions in Australia? I remember my step dad saying before he died last year, that the government recommended you shared a shower or bath with a neighbour. it would have to be someone you fancied, lol. In my case, a good lookin guy;) hmmm, back to the loft with glass fibre flavoured candy floss, yummmmm...........|
|14 Jun 2003||will||p.s. My mum loved "The bold and the beautiful". sadly she is no longer here. poor mum suffered 35 years of abuse from my dad. thankfully i moved out at 19. i was abused. back to the loft......|
|14 Jun 2003||will||hi just a girl:) my loft is very warm. its hot outside. and me, im depressed and suicidal again. i just cant seem to do it though. i get scared and bottle out of it. lucy seems to have disappeared, hope shes ok!|
|13 Jun 2003||samantha||The best way to kill yourself when you're under 13 is to find all of mommy and daddy's medicine and down it with a household cleaner|
|13 Jun 2003||will||i wish i was dead.......|
|13 Jun 2003||just a girl||ps... howz that loft going will?
good to see you still around gay punk :)
and luce... you there?
oh! and naomi!!! u still here...? knife up ass and all! you must be bloody tired!
|13 Jun 2003||just a girl||"tomato soup"
A new theory has been born... quite a stupid theory if u ask me (even though it's mine) but it works...
At least to give a moment of 'saneness' in my insane life...
I have a theory I can 'wash' away my pain... oh yeah... Im sure you're thinking it sounds stupid now... but long baths and showers have now become my favourite past time... and I mean really long... (I had a bath for 4 hours the other day... so much for water restrictions)... perhaps this was because I had nothing better to do? Or because I passed out from not eating for so long? Who knows....?
But still... the belief has arisen somehow in this psychotic mind of mine... and it's almost like when I have a shower I can feel everything fade... everything is washed away... everything that makes me feel shit and awful and depressed just gets washed away and eventually ends up down the drain (like most things in my life).. and I get a 'clean-slate'... then again maybe I just like the running water for its now the only thing that can drown out my sobs.. they seem to get louder as each passing day goes by...
This week has been full of exams... exams exams exams which I probably failed at least half if not all... turning up having had no more than an hour's sleep the previous night... and still quite intoxicated (oh well)... but at least it means I only have to be at school for a few hours and get the rest of the day off.. (which, in-turn means I get to join the madness of my nonetheless beloved soap operas... (refer to just a girl post the bold and the oh-so beautiful if u really care enough to read my beliefs on that!) )
Today, I came home early after my psychology exam (fail).. and I had a bath :)
my cries as I entered and slammed my front door, away from the harsh reality of the world outside it, really were too much for me to bear today the sounds needed to be drowned... the feelings needed to be washed away so I headed to my bathroom and turned on the tap.. (trying not to look in the mirror as I undress Ill wait till my ribs are fulling showing to do that)
although it takes quite a while to fill... it is worth it in the end.. the melodies from my blasting stereo to my right and the running water of the tap to my left fill the room and consume me.. bliss...
as I lay head under (lets see how long I can hold my breath shall we?) the water.. I still feel the pain inside... wash wash wash!!! (I tell myself over and over).. I glance at my shower at the other end of my bathroom and see me in there all those days ago.. with him.. and I feel sick.. knowing I let him do the things he did to me....
I get my sponge and start to scrub.. my legs first.. my non-existing (thanks to my new friends at my pro-ana site who introduced me to the gummy bear and water diet.. yummy gummy bears) stomach next... then my arms.. I scrub so hard my arms starts to turn red.. and before I know it... my arms are covered in blood... I scrubbed so hard I re-opened my precious wounds from the night before... and the night before that... and the night before that... and so on and so forth...
What seemed like only moments later... and I was sitting in a blood-red bath..
You know how when youre in water too long.. and your skin wrinkles up like your grandmas face to tell you youve been in way too long? Well soon enough my fingers and toes were mimicking the likings of the roly-poly dog on the toilet paper adds.. (my grandmas dead.. so Im doubting I wasnt quite as wrinkled as her.. yet)... but every crack and wrinkle was filled with a red flowing river...
I swirl the water around with my index finger... slowly.. slowly.. and round and round.. it actually reminded my of my tomato soup dinners I would sometimes make for myself (if I had earned the right to have food that day).. but never actually ate.. just played with... always playing.. playing..
I think I sat numb in the bath for about 3 hours today.. before it actually hit me that my wash clean theory could no longer be in operation.. for I was sitting in a pool of my own blood (how familiar).. But unfortunately I didnt lose enough blood to kill myself (what a shame).. so I pulled the plug.. and I watched as part of me once again.. floated down the drain, and simply disappeared (how I would love to disappear)..
That night, I sat in reflection of my television and thought of my blood-red bath (I should do that more often!)... perhaps next time.. if I start scrubbing the gashes on my legs, then, perhaps I could lose enough.. just enough to finally take that to-do off my to-do-list which sits next to my bed (wonder if mummy has ever read it?)
And so.. as the darkness not only enters my mind, but the dark night sky outside as well.. I watched my friends on the bold and the oh-so beautiful fuck each others fathers and mothers (and brothers) as I made myself a nice bowl of tomato soup :)
After all... Ive earned it.... dont u think?
|13 Jun 2003||christine||what is the best way to kill yourself when your under 13, who gives a fuck! this a ridiculous and stupid thing to ask. The fucking site was made by sick fuckers! absolutely sick!!! who ever you are you have no fucking idea about life. life is never that bad, i have been in that position, thinking its all bad, but i know that no matter what i wouldn't do that to my family.
my god bless anyone who read this
|13 Jun 2003||Jessica||You are all fuckin sick... My boyfriend, best friend, and mother have all killed themselves.. none of you have obviously ever fuckin felt the pain that leads to suicide and to fuckin joke about it like you do is sick. I'm fuckin 15 and I obviously know more about this fuckin shit than any of you.|
|13 Jun 2003||the gay punk||news bulletin: i may never see the love of my life again. FUCK!!! what am i to do? he can't escape it. he can't plead innocent because there's so much fucking evidence against him. fuck. you're an idiot. if i ever see that assface again i'm gonna kick his face and kiss him to make him feel a little better. derek. you're a fucking idiot. why are you leaving me, why? you're the only thing that makes me alive alive alive and now all this shit is on my way.
and you know what's funny about this. this is the LAST DAYS OF SCHOOL. perfect timing, lord, fuck you. yeah call me a satanist i don't give a fuck what you think, really. you're the cause of my misery you asshole. you take away EVERYTHING FROM ME!!! you take me away from my freedom, you take me away from my friend and you give me this punishment-bitchiness-guilt-misery and you don't leave me the fuck alone. yeah, GOD would never ever grant my wish: to leave me and my fairyness in peace. instead of feeding poor people in africa or south america or all those people in the gutter of my beloved city. Don't you, my dear mouchette readers feel the same way? you walk out of bed, prepare coffee and say: i will change my miserable self and join the happy crowd and THEN, you walk out that door and what do you see? everyone hating towards you. only god can do that. fuck you lord..................................... moo................... moo........................... moo............. CHOMP!!!!!!
anna i am so sorry. anna, a good friend of mine, gave me this written statement: "give it up please he's gonna be ok stop overreacting." she also told me that this biching of mine is becoming a bit annoying recently. yes, i am a selfish bastard. i only care for my own self interest but none of you have at the LEAST OF COMPREHENSION of this underlying misery oh fuck do i have to do things in numberform again. guestar you make me sick you pervert, whack off on anna kournikova or tia carrerre or some big titted supermodel/star wouldya
1) the people in my life have been dropping like flies. this thing has been happening since i was in grade five, starting chronologically with benjie, then, nikki, clarisse (you let me get raped by those assholes i forgive you bich), then alex, kiel, andrew. derek was just the last straw anna. i wanna die. my friends are starting to drop like flies and moving away to be happy, then leaving me in hell. when i heard you telling me you might die one of these days i was stunned coz serioulsy, i need you, i need all of you to hold on to, but you're going one by one.
2) he's not gonna be ok, he might (will) fail the classes he has now, bound to repeat it... you know exactly what i'm talking about. as ive try to like you say anna dear, to look positively, that is just so impossible. he might NOT get a job because of this. i am still praying to the god that has enslaved me if he can get the fuck out of this mess but when i....
so i'm just gonna go retreat and shut the fuck up now. this might be my last entry. enjoy folks.
|13 Jun 2003||will||Ive had such a bad day. I wanted to cut myself so badly today. just a bad domestic problem. suicide was on my mind too, but i get too scared to do anything. ummm, i hate myself, and every else hates me, just cos im gay. hmmm, back up the loft to lick my wounds..........|
|13 Jun 2003||Bimmer||I think the best way would be to overdose on hard drugs. like alcohol or heroin or something. I dont' care i'm 17 and sick of this bullshit life. how are people supposed to live like this? Like kids can only take so much especially when nobody you talk to gives a fuck. what else are we supposed to do? cutting my arms got old, now drugs are my best friend. like fuck what next?|