|Reading these suicide pages you will find people seeking help and people offering their help. Some witness about suicide from real life experience, others who play along with me would pretend it's a children's game. Some make sick and cruel jokes about it, and angry people blame me for even mentioning the subject. You might also want to read my favourite answers. If you want your answer to be included here, fill in the form.|
What is the best way to kill yourself when you're under 13?
Quelle est la meilleure forme de suicide pour les moins de 13 ans?
|24 Jun 2003||just a girl||hmmm i do wonder why i read such comments as "just a girl, it seriously worries me wen u stay quiet 4 this long".. when my place here has quite obviously been pushed aside, taken over.. and thrown over the edge...
how i wish that next time someone wishes to push me aside and throw me over the edge that i am standing on the surface of non-the-less, my beautiful friend.. the bridge..
less effort, greater outcome.
|24 Jun 2003||Joe||Listen, everyone - I want you to know that what you're going through is NOT the end, and that you can overcome it. I am NOT a teen - I'm 39 years old, but for some weird reason I did a search for "I want to commit suicide" on Google tonight. I'm not sure why, but I was feeling odd. And yes, I did try to kill myself when I was a teen... it was January 4, 1977, to be exact... long before any of you were born. I took a bottle of aspirin (around 29 was all that was there), along with some medicine I had been prescribed for colidous (sp?). Why? Because my life sucked at the time, and I thought there was no way out. I had been depressed for months and had even been committed to a hospital mental ward for this. I was ready to go. But you know what? I woke up from my hopeful death sleep, with a ringing in my ears, and woke up my parents - afraid of what I'd done. To my surprise, they were not mad at me, but concerned and sincere. While they might not have been the greatest parents, they DID care about me, and loved me. This was something I never really believed before then. However, it was enough to get me through that night.
I can't say that life has been a bed of roses since then, but the good times have outweighed the bad by about 95 percent to 5 percent. However in the past 6 months, some of that 5 percent reared its ugly head, and last December I felt the same way I did in January of '77. I sat despondent in my house for a whole day staring at the fire in my fireplace and trying to find a reason why I shouldn't take my shotgun out and blow my head off.
Two things kept me from doing that:
1) the thought of what it would do to my loved ones - including my 4 kids... some of whom are now teenagers, and
2) praying to God to help me out. While I went through 12 years of Catholic school, I've never been what I considered a "holy" person, but I do believe that God cares, and helps us when we need it. If any of you have never seen the movie "It's a Wonderful Life" - with Jimmy Stewart - made in 1946, I think - you need to rent it and watch it. Maybe, just maybe, you'll see something in it that will hit home with you and help you make the right choice. And I can confidently say that the right choice is to CHOOSE LIFE!
Don't listen to the deepest, darkest feelings that are trying to command you now. I honestly believe those are influenced by the devil, who wants to have your soul for eternity in hell... and trust me, that's not where you or anyone else wants you or me to be. If you don't think anyone else cares, know this: I DO! I've never written anything like this to anyone else before, but I can't help but feel that all of you are going through the same (or similar) things that I went through 25 years ago... and in a different, though similar sense, 6 months ago, and I want you to know that someone DOES care about you, and that things WILL get better. It may seem silly and stupid, but if you just pray to God and ask for help - REGARDLESS of your religion, your prayers WILL be answered.
Sorry for the lengthy diatribe, but I really DO care, and hope that I've helped. If so, PLEASE send me an e-mail or respond in this forum. Hang in there.
|23 Jun 2003||pierre||I can't face it anymore, you just can read how pain grow up, I tried to go tchating with, but she did not write back and I kept waiting for a letter, I think I will use an empty needle,read in your site il less painful than hanging, this probably the last word you ever got from me, you know, life is a whore and i am a fuckin teen with no money to feed her, no weapon to face the difficulties i hope it is better upstairs, really hope i could see them crying over my grave, regreting what they have done to me. But it's too late now, too late to help me, cause now I don't need any help, just some mor courage to go trought.being a lonely people for the rest of my life no thank, I'd rather write a bye bye letter so they could understand how deep my pain was.|
|23 Jun 2003||pierre||just a few word to say that sometimes I just feel like crying, and knowing no one could help me is so sad.
In fact during three years i have been insulted, treated like shit by my classmates and that's why I ran away with a rope in my bag, just in case.
But I was too young and missing courage, so I waited during three years from 14 to 17 and know I am really ready for the great trip, ready to see if life exists after death.
I think suicide is the best way to finish your life when you know that those two fucking sister sadness and cries will be around you forever. I hope that life will be happier on the other side
|23 Jun 2003||pierre||I am just writing this mail because i feel so alone, and know it will be the same during my whole life, that's why I prefer to end up now and hang myself.
I really wanna die because it is the only courageous thing I could do.
In fact, no one really knows me and I don't trust people enough to talk to them, that 's why I prefer to die, to keep all the things that hurt inside of me and don't care for the others like they do to me. You know, suicide should be taken seriously, and not as a fuckin joke, death is important so don't make suicide a way to attract attention on you because after you may not be taken seriously and people would keep telling you: well she just wants to attract attention, he is very disturbed these days.That's why hanging yourself is one of the best way to die
|23 Jun 2003||tom||hey guys, im a 16 year old guy from england. im so depressed, i have been for a few years, and a couple months ago, i took an overdose. a big f*cking overdose.
but u know what?it didn't kill me. i'll tel u what it did do: it made me choke on my own sick, hallucinate, convulse, spasm-to the point where three of my fingers snapped- and made me go yellow for a month after.
all i can say is, please don't kill urself thru pill overdose. it's not a nice way to go.
i really want to die, and i've come to the conclusion that the best way is to take a coule sleeping pills to knock u out, but just before u fall asleep, tie a plastic bag round ur head so u suffocate, in peace.
|23 Jun 2003||Me (former suicidal teenager)||Forget yourself to live for the other ones. That is the best way to kill yourself.|
|23 Jun 2003||leanne||in the past 8 days my body has digested: 31 paracetamol 13 ibuprofen 10 aspirin 37 laxatives and 23 diet pills.. achievement: fuk all. last of my 4 most important ppl 2 me has jus exited 2day: best m8 (3yrs) jus moved 2 the other side of england. we were bulimics 2getha all throughout highskool, she kno's virtually my lifestory; recently made the mistake of tellin her of my suicide attempt (jus the 1) she cried 4 a wile, told me it was a big cop out & it wasnt the answer.. rite.. 'so wot, my dear friend, is the answer? told her i was ova it so she can move away feelin guilt-free & worry-less.t he biggest lie ive eva told! we1st met wen i noticed her sittin in the cafeteria wiv no tray. i approached her &found common ground. 2nd person.. nxt door neighbour who i really fell 4 & stil hav not gotton ova. we met wen i moved house a yr ago. sittin outside in my garden@1am, came&spoke 2 me. startd pissin down wiv rain. we stayd there drenched chattin nonstop. howeva, i made anotha mistake; opend up 2 him & poured my tales of woes. l8r he sed he cant b wiv me coz my mind is 'in a messd up place' & i 'need 2 sort myself out' .u c, poor old him couldnt cope wiv my probs! neva spoke 2 me again. he moved away 2 university.
3)my 3 big bros...1 moved 2 australia, otha 2 moved away & we hav v. lil contact.
4)my father. he neva wantd me as a daughter, wantd me 2 b sumfin else 2 him. visit him once a wile in his flat. hadnt seen me in ages (few months ago) & he made comments; how much ive grown in2 a 'sexy' young woman & i had a gorgeous body. jus bout 2 go bed wen he makes an offer 'leanne,wanna sleep wiv me 2nite?' dnt 4get i was alone wiv him & an 1hr's train journey from home. ofcourse i refused, lockd the door & went 2 bed-nite seemd 2 last 4 days. no longer speak 2 him. he tried 2 justify himself, using the excuse of lovin me 2 much. told me not 2 tel mum. wen she found out, he calld me a liar.
ur all probly wonderin y i seem upset bout no.4.well, the truth, i feel nothin but pure rejection. not only from the guy i liked whom i poured out my heart 2 & gave me nothin in return, but also that im not good enuff 2 b a daughter. feel cheap, dirty & no amount of showers will scrub it off.. worst part is a month ago, afta i'd lost contact wiv him & my bros were 1st 2 kno, my fav bro calls me up & nite, tells me all 3 hav been sexually abused by him yrs ago&.. so was i, wen i was 2 young 2 remember. mum knew xactly wot a sik bastard he was, yet she married &stayd wiv him 4 more yrs. she knew wot he dun 2 my bros, they knew wot he did 2 me, yet they wotched me go 2 his house alone 4 yrs wen i had no idea. it cld hav bin prevented, nun of them protected me & told me 2 stay away from him. howeva, mum has no idea i kno i was sexually abused by him: bro sed not 2 tel her. so im livin in anger 2wards mum & i cant even argue it out.
sory 4 typing 2 much. jus wana say 2 all ppl out there wiv abusiv ppl in their lives.. dont fall 4 their petty xcuses or u'l bcum a victim &a sucker 4 bullshit. nothin can justify wot they did & im sory it happend 2 u. keep tlkin through it ere wiv every1..so much eazier tlkin 2 a bunch of strangers.. we r the least likely group of ppl 2 past judgement & disgust unlike the rest of bastard society who r all livin in this fuckin fantasy world. love u. xx
|22 Jun 2003||VeryTired||I'm 32 and have learned enough about life. I've learned that most people are not good and lie with every breath. And the worst part is that they don't even realize it. The fact is that the more deluded a person is the easier it is for them to cope with reality. And why is that?... easy, because true reality sucks ass. No wonder religion and drugs are so popular. They are survival tools. But survive for what? Survive so that some other women (or guys if that's your thing) can rip your heart out by telling you what you want to hear. Words, words, words, but no meaning behind them. Most people do not mean what they say, but I do. I'm too good for this place. I always try to do the right thing, to always tell the truth, to be kind to everyone. And what does it get me but the worst pain I've ever experienced from the one person I love beyond all others. I still love her when I should really hate her. But I can't. Now isn't that ironic? If only I could be like most people and keep some for myself, but no, I gave her all I had and now there's nothing left for anything else. There is no joy. There is only "going through the motions", and acting like everyting is ok, when really all I want is peace. To stop thinking for just a little while. And if that means saying goodbye to this pathetic existence, then so be it. I only fear one thing. I can only pray that there isn't any reincarnation. I don't ever want to come back to this place ever again. Game over. End program. Remember that when you try to kill yourself, I suggest using a prescription drug. Mix it with a lot of Tylenol, or alchohol. And remember to crush the drugs and maybe mix them into a drink. Crushed drugs will enter the bloodstream much quicker. Good luck and hope I don't see anything on the other side. I'm not saying you should kill yourself, maybe you will have better luck than me. I wish you guys/gals the best. Or at least better than me.|
|22 Jun 2003||will||lol at the resource room lucy. i can just imagine it.....|
|21 Jun 2003||leanne||GOD, those bastards still aint visited.. not even a fone call-thats the last time i eva invite those invisible friends round. dont u jus h8 it wen ur non-existent friends neva show!! havent stepped out of my house 4 a record of..13 days now. the only contact i've had wiv the outside world so far, was last nite wen i sat out in my garden @ 3am, marvelling @ the clear sky, feelin the cool air kiss my skin so gently, listening 2 nothing but the silence stirring wiv lite breeze. i look a state, legs still unshaven, eyebrows unplucked, hair unwashed, stil wearing the same dirty pj's and dark circles remain so stubborn under my tired eyes, despite doin nothin but sleepin during the day and emerging from my bed @ nite 2 log on.apart from that, time is spent swallowing pills (ibuprofen, paracetamol, nytol etc), while my eyez remain fixed 2 the glow of my tv. wots the point.. ive nothin 2 do, nothin 2 say and no1 2 c. i swear...
if we cried blood, i'd already b dead........ 4 i lose about a pint a day.
my mother along wiv the rest of them remain knowledgeless of my ed.. how could she understand.. that woman called mum merely flirts & dabbles wiv the latest diets, whereas i have a full on long-term relationship wiv mine. slite distinction there, wouldnt u all agree?? i've been killing myself slowly wiv ED's whilst trying 2 end it quickly with OD's. oh my life is fulfilled with excitement!!! anyway, just a girl, it seriously worries me wen u stay quiet 4 this long. oh and molli.. sorry 4 spellin ur name wrong earlier. peace&love all round.. xx
|21 Jun 2003||Jackie||Nothing is going right. My life is soooo shitty i tried 2 audition 4 sratz in therir eyes kidz got a call back but my mam stoppes me then called me tarty. I am bullimic and still v.fat I got carp exam results and need sum 1 2 talk 2|
|21 Jun 2003||Lucy Cortina||People may be wondering if I finally did the decent 'thang' and killed myself. Sadly, you won't find me hanging from the shower curtains of President Bush's en-suite.
No, I'm still here. In a library. Looking at a suicide website. Librarians walk past me in disgust. They have nothing better to do than pass judgement. Their lives are filled with powdering their delicate noses, walking around in slippers, and engaging in lesbian acts in the resource room.
But me, I'm here having just been on a trip to the Bronte museum. How.. er... exciting it was. The debate of the century was... whether or not Mr Bronte was, ahem, 'gay'.
Yup, Lucy's still here.
|21 Jun 2003||Infofind||The best way to kill yourself when you're under 13 is to die to the flesh, be reborn if you will, and become a new creature. Read Romans in the bible and you will understand that though you die, you gain life eternal.|
|21 Jun 2003||molli||okay I am almost in tears I found out today when I came back to the site that ppl do care and listen... also it is nice to know that I have ppl that also feel the same pain as me well it isn't nice that ppl have to feel pain but they know they understand and I am not alone in a world which I thought was my own.... and Just a girl-I would love to try out that site u were talking about... sorry everyone but I have to get going and I want to let u know that I have about 8 friends that go to my school who have similar things in their lives they also have helped me along with me helping then I am always here and hopefully one day I might be able to be of some help to someone but I love u all and thanx for everything... my computer is getting repaired this weekend so therefore I will not be on the computer for a few days but please everyone take care-
|21 Jun 2003||will||hi everyone. at the moment im trying to be positive. i have thought of so many ways to end my life. ie exhaust fumes, tablets etc. but then, if i end it others win. why let them win? particularly my dad, who's been dead since 1987, but he still screws me up sometimes, the old paedo! i read some of your troubles, and it reduces me to tears. there is so much hurt in the world, and i do wonder what's the point! ummm, i'm not making much sense, back up the loft.......|
|21 Jun 2003||leanne||ok, i see a pattern emerging ere... funny thing bout us suicidal-selves... we seem 2 present pretty much the same make-up... ED's. and since u ppl, i.e just a girl, mollie and various others, generously provided us with an insight of their ed's... i may as well subject 2 u all, my battle wiv self loathing. i used 2 exercise excessively, trying 2 rid of my non-exisistent curves (@12)!! As a result of that, i neva had the 'pleasure' of developing a woman's body (hopefully neva will). as teen yrs arrived, as did the lazyness, i stopped sweating my ass off and has eva since been fighting a losing battle of anorexia & bulimia. i am a 16yr old trying 2 remain a child, neva wanting 2 accept adulthood. u c, 2 me... 2 eat is associated with happiness & the ability 2 take on responsibility of living a normal life. when i feel i dont deserve the rite 2 enjoy my life &ultimately food.. i deprive my tastebuds 4 a short while until an overwhelming sense of defeat consumes me and i indulge in my failures, my weaknesses and my lack of control by consuming the entire contents of my kitchen. and 4 it 2 remain undetected on my body, i fucking well make sure i rid of my oh-so-disgusting, shameful sins by shoving my fingers down my throat and purging.. this followed by packets of laxatives.. lovely. afterall, to enjoy food and leave it b in ur stomach is 2 enjoy life. i 4 1 have not earned the rite 2 do so. the next 2 weeks r spent keeping my mouth shut, staying in my room, waiting 4 my stomach 2 b flat enuff 2 re-enter the public eye. i can't tell u the shape of my body, as my mind lies and deceives me everyday. ur rite though just a girl... 2 distract the attention i watch a soap, put on a movie, anything 2 distract myself from... myself and my self-mutilating thoughts. my life lacks a balanced mind, i go from 1 xtreme 2 the next, from being an enormous whale 1 day 2 being a matchstick the next. and yet i still choose 2 commit myself 2 wot is seeming 2 b a life-long habit, though fully aware of the damage im doin 2 myself. i guess somehow my depression is linked 2 this. my friends & family remain oblivious of my ed. they haven't even recognised any signs. either that or they choose not 2 deal wiv it.. oh no..they leave that up 2 the expert: moi! how is it wiv all these voices in my head screaming wild things, i still feel so alone??that is until i log on 2 this site. wil i eva recover from my self hatred & eva step off the rollercoaster of self-loathing that seems 2 go round&round??? who knows? anyway.. thanx 4 being bothered 2 read this shit. gotta love u and leave u.. got sum sins 2 rid my body of.. im off 2 the bathroom.. just enjoyed an undeserved piece of toast.|
|20 Jun 2003||just a girl||oh and molli... its bulimia and anorexia.. i know this.. i have anorexia.. if you are still struggling with these ed's.. you could join the other forum i write into.. lots and lots of chiks with ed's all there giving each other support etc.. its really good :) let me know..|
|20 Jun 2003||just a girl - in therapy mode||oh dear.. now i really dont know what to do..
so so much saddness and im just so lost for words..
leanne, that touches me that you find my pathetic-excuse-for-a-life stories a reason to stay alive.. but you have no idea how much pressure that puts on me.. im scared of my own mind and what i do to myself, let alone having someone else's life in my hands.. i will be here.. and always up for words and listening to yours.. but please please you must find other reasons to stay alive.. there are many out there, no matter how bad things get.. and they can be as simple as waiting to find out what happens next on "the bold and the oh so beautiful" episodes.. (believe me, simple reasons pass time.. and as time passes, you get closer to the day things might be better, and the day your life might start again) but if my stories die down.. please dont let yourself die down too :)
molli.. your story was very sad.. indeed as it sounds you have had a very hard hard life.. as have most people.. but as you said your only 14, and perhaps you have had all the bad your eva gonna get in your life already.. and the rest of your years could be all the happy ones you deserve.. keep going.. please :)
ay! naomi! good to see your still up and fighting (to die that is!) but still good to see ya round... hmm i must agree with the first comment u eva made to me.. yes indeed.. u are much much crazier than me!!!! and you must be bloody tired!
oh will! help me out here! all these people! all this help needed! i cant do it alone! i need help myself! what to do.. oh what to do.. well enough counselling for one night.. time for a bath..
a little tomato soup too perhaps :)
|20 Jun 2003||molli||okay this is the third one I have written in one nigth and I don't care bout that but ya I have said alot tonigth and everything is unorganized...
but ya where to begin how about age 5..
at age 5 I had a best friend and her and I would play all the time. well one day she was playing a game that we both knwo how to play, it was where u tied a rope to the top of a slide and then to your waist. well on friday when we were riding the bus my friend (Kelly) decided to tell my not to tie the rope to loose because when u slip u could die. well that weekend we were both playing outside but she was at her house and I was at mine when an ambulance came down the roade and kelly was in it, she had died... she slipped, her rope was too loose and she hung herself. most say it was an accident but I never heard her scream or anything and how would she know that a rope to loose would kill u, I think she killed herself and she was 6 years old.... after that I was traumatized and it was what caused and triggered my deep depression.... I spent year in counselling after that .... in between the ages 6-8 I had half of my family die and also my mom lost everything. she became sick and she also lost both her parents in a matter of 2 years and also had a baby on the way (my sister which we adopted her name is alexis) she lost it and stopped being the mom when my sister came we lost track of who played the role of mom, me or her..... if that was not bad enough at age 8 I was also raped by another girl... all of this only made my depression worse. I was so little and scared and I never told my counsellers so they never knew. by 9 I started drinking and also started cutting my wrist and arms at and I became an addict to both.... with this I had earned an eating disorder I became blemic (sorry can't spell this things too well) and anerexic... plus I was trying to raise my sister because my mom was too stressed and sick.... my dad was always working since my mom didn't work he had to support the family... So now I am living with guilt 2 addictions, 2 eating disorders, damage from a rape, I am trying to raise a kid and also trying to find parents besides going to school and I am only 9 at this time!
By the age of 10 I gave up I was done with and I didn't want to live any more so for the next three years I was going to try to kill myself. during this time my mom had another kid and it was my brother his name is joshua, he is now the second child I have to raise. Life was rough and now at the age of 14 and living throught that hell everyday for 5 years I am finally getting help and finding my way out but this will take years and so that is my life story though I am still thinking about suicide sometimes and cutting and drinking and I still have a few eating problems and I still send out my cry for help along with trying to answer others cries too.... I hope u listened and learned and yes I am only 14