|Reading these suicide pages you will find people seeking help and people offering their help. Some witness about suicide from real life experience, others who play along with me would pretend it's a children's game. Some make sick and cruel jokes about it, and angry people blame me for even mentioning the subject. You might also want to read my favourite answers. If you want your answer to be included here, fill in the form.|
What is the best way to kill yourself when you're under 13?
Quelle est la meilleure forme de suicide pour les moins de 13 ans?
|18 Nov 2003||drowning in a sea of mediocrity||Ha. Lucy! Oh, you sound so silly. Go play with dolly now, schweedie. Ha.
Chris: You are not, boring, bog standard Chris. You sound safe as fuck to me. Haha. And remember, kids, it does get better. But you don't need me to tell you that.
|18 Nov 2003||sarah||I think the best way to kill yourself when you are under 13 is to take as many pills as you can find because it is less painful. I am 11 years old. I think about suicide day and night. I cut myself but have never attempted suicide|
|18 Nov 2003||MauvaisSouhait||Thanks Chris, i really hope to read another e-mail from you. as for today its horrible. im ready to end it all. i've been crying my eyes out and its so bad they're swollen and all puffy. I got really upset and hit my wall. i think my knuckle may be broken. my head is pounding immensely. Not a good thing. I know Chris doesn't want me to die. But who knows.. Just write me back. i miss u|
|18 Nov 2003||A.F.||Theres a lot of people on here i can really relate to and its good to come on here and read peoples messages and know im not on my own. im in the self-destructive phase at the moment which a lot of you probably know about, where you couldnt really care less what happens to you and you have the scars down your arms to prove it. i wish i could just end it all but theres something stopping me and i dont know what, maybe i just dont have the balls for it, i just really cant do this for much longer, i know that much... what the hell can i do?|
|17 Nov 2003||Steve||I love your posts, Chris. They're unique in that you take some time to introduce your topic so that you can relate to the reader. Each one is like reading a magazine article, except you and I both know you never get a decent lesson in morality out of a magazine article. Keep up the good work. It's unfortunate that I won't be able to read them anymore when/if I finally go through with killing myself.|
|16 Nov 2003||Chris||Until this morning, I can honestly say I didn't give much thought to my chin, unless I was in the process of shaving it. It seemed a perfectly adequate chin, something for my lower lip to rest on while I was watching television, but otherwise nothing to write home about. Going by the most basic criteria, I thought I had a fairly normal chin that would get an average mark if it sat for exams! But that was before I took my eyes for a walk in a men's glossy and they fell on an article about chin implants, dealing with the modern problem men face when their weak chins are seen as a portrayal of a weak character. Now I can't stop looking at my chin and everyone else's, and even caught myself greeting another member of the species with "Hey buddy, nice chin", as he grinned his way down the street.
Until now, I can only say I only gave some thought to my chin. Now I've started noticing my eyes, nose and ears too. A weak chin (whatever a weak chin is really) can be disguised under a three weeks growth but what about weak eyes or weak ears. Call me so 20th century, but the thought of having a chin implant makes me go a little weak at the knees. Oh my god, do I have weak knees too? But I do realise I am in a minority. Plastic surgery hasn't quite taken off to some extremes all over the world as it has in America, but business is booming and many are in search of a better body through a quick nip and tuck. More are just waiting for the word that it's completely safe, and they would be in the surgery's waiting room in a flash, eager to have their wrinkles and lines zapped away like magic and their lips grown a fuller shade of luscious.
Thankfully, most of us do not have a national characteristic to hide from. Otherwise, we would follow Chinese women who are having their eyelids sliced open and restitched to create a western-style fold. (Believe me, I don't know why the fuck they are doing it! I know some very sexy Chinese girls with Chinese eyes). South Asians who prefer their stronger noses reduced and tilted at the tip. In some other countries the national characteristic is emphasised rather than downplayed- Brazil, where plastic surgery was pioneered by Professor Ivo Pitanguy, is a typical case.
We live in a surgical age. Almost everybody is doing it, a nip here, a tuck there, a syringe of Botox in between. Cosmetic surgery in the world today is like sex in the Victorian era, everyone is doing it but we're too ashamed to talk about it. Silicone is a logical extension of the developed world's consumer culture- growing affluence, the economic dependence of the individual and the acceptibility, even admiration, at spending so much time, money and attention on our appearance. We go to the gym, dye our hair, bleach our teeth, and cosmetic surgery is fast becoming just the next step along the path all around the world.
In America, women of all ages and from all walks of life are well and truly hooked on surgery, and the latest thing to do with your best friend is no longer shopping or a holiday, but sharing the experience of cosmetic surgery. The latter is fast becoming an extension of the high-maintenance lifestyle, especially of busy American women who treat their appearance as a tool.
On the other side of the Atlantic, hundreds of Britons are taking holidays in South Africa and coming home looking years younger, owing more to the surgeon than the sun. Botox injections to remove forhead wrinkles, liposuction, tummy tuck, nose jobs, blow jobs (oops, that's not why you go to a surgeon), eye lifts and breast surgery are all surging in popularity, especially with women. Men like to have less extensive work.
Like it or not we do judge, and are judged by appearance. It would be lovely if we lived in a utopia where everybody accepted everyone's looks but we don't. And although we may complain about the commodification of the body, it's only an extension of the premium that we have always placed on good looks. We worship the cult of apperance before substance. We judge and are judged on appearance. Not only attractiveness, but qualities such as friendliness, intelligence and honesty are all seen as deficient in the plain or plain ugly, enhanced in the good looking. So the fact that beauty can be bought at a price not only leads to a happy transformation of the body, but can also be an injection of confidence to our personalities. Our personalities are not just affected by our looks, but created by them. Improved looks promise promotions at work or prospects of love and maybe some of us may feel so down because we think that we do not look good.
Well, why have I been saying all this? I think you all realise that what these people are doing is try to preserve their youth for as long as they can. These people want to live forever. They don't feel that at 40 they should replace mini skirts and thongs with extremely long skirts and normal boring panties. We want to die. But on the other hand we are the only people who know the secret for living forever and remaining young forever. If you commit suicide at 18, you will remain 18 forever, sexy and oh so lovely as I am sure you all are! So hail to our eternal youth, life, death and suicide! Let's keep our little beauty secret for ourselves and tell all the others to fuck off.
I hope this put a smile upon your faces. Recently I was reading this interview of this younger than me person (about 15). He presents a show on tv and he keeps bragging over it and about how beautiful his life is and about all his girlfriends that he went out with and where he keeps all his love letters (yes, he already seems to have had a lot and I have had none!) and how much he loves religious relaxing music and how religious and at peace with himself he is and how sweet and how he thinks that girls masturbate so much thinking about him and how many plans for the future he has, blah, blah, blah! I am exactly the opposite but strangely, it is at times like these that I feel so proud of being myself, normal, boring, lonely bog standard Chris. He sounds so artificial. He is just another sheep from the herd which is the human race, stupid face, stupid smile, stupid ideas and stupid everything. We are the black sheep (and we should be proud of it). I'm down to earth and realistic at least. Let this boy fuck off! And my chin will remain the same and the rest of my body will do too. I want flesh and not plastic and who doesn't like it can fuck off!
P.S Mauvais, I got your e-mail. Lovely! I will send back and answer your questions so hang in there my dear Donielle.
Leanne, you were right. It is so ironic to tell people to hold on more when you know that your own personal wish is to end it all. Maybe I do it out of jealousy but I am sure that I do it out of love too. I love you so much I don't want to lose you. If I was sure that after this life ends there is something better I would really encourage everyone to end his life as soon as possible but I don't know. Well, now I feel much more mixed up..... sorry!
Luv u xxxxxx
See ya in eternal life/death...
|16 Nov 2003||Sjoinn Sigursdottìr||killing yourself... I have read every submission on this page. No one really mentioned a real way to do it. The most effective way, so it seems, is to become drastic. Eat poison! Be alone, make sure no one is going to catch you (unless your a suicide chump) and down a shit-load of arsenic or some sweet tasting anti-freeze, mmm! Make sure u have enough or it will cost your family a goddamn fortune to hospitalize you. Request a cremation, it's cheaper. Who gives a fuck what happens to your dead body... it's dead!
Maybe i'm wrong... maybe you shouldn't kill yourself. But after all, it is your body that you did not have a say in obtaining. If you think you have a chance, you absolutely need to get your ass over to a Comprehensive Care Center and get the Meds, stay on them, make sure they're right for you and go to group sessions, you'll learn much. Remember, NO ONE KNOWS HOW BAD YOU HURT INSIDE BUT YOU! People that are assholes will say that you are being petty and trivial, others will pretend they give a fuck and some will tell you that you are a weak individual. They are all entitled to their opinion, and they may be right - I don't know you - , but I have realized that possibly the problem with everyone is that we are limited to our own perceptions which are hugely flawed and we don't actually know anything. We can speculate about everything but the reality is that *reality* is everything and nothing. All that makes sense of reality is our own flawed perceptions and how we interpret them... soooo, no one is right and no one is wrong. What I see as sufficient information is that it is true that you are in endless torture. How we deal with it makes the difference. Deal with it as you like but remember you can try to change if you feel like you want it but you have to want it for it to work.
Now that you have a grip on why humans behave the way they do, maybe you can cope 1% better than yesterday. We all came from monkeys, that's a fact. Monkeys can be irrational and very very stupid (the list goes on). Put it in your mind that at anytime someone makes you miserable and can't comprehend why, just remember that they are a stupid ass monkey-relative. We can't help what happens in life but coping is what can get you to the side with the pretty green grass and stuff. But don't ask me how, i'm still trying to kill other people, not myself.
|15 Nov 2003||Harry||If someone wants to kill themselves, my guess is that some of them don't feel loved. I've been there, and was tempted. I'm not talking cheesy romance, I'm talking things all out of proportion so that you can't see the love people have for you. A lot of you guys seem to feel that way. I often find that I feel really unloved if I feel unloving. Start from the inside, do something for someone else to show you care, and see how much they'll care back. Just a few thoughts coming from a well known book: 'Love is patient and kind; it is not jealous or conceited or proud; love is not ill-mannered or selfish or irritable; love does not keep a record of wrongs; love is not happy with evil, but is happy with the truth. Love never gives up; and its faith, hope, and patience never fail. Love is eternal...'
Look at this love from the terms of what you're giving - try to live up to this ideal. It'd hard, but it's definitely something to live for! And remember that God loves all of us. He showed us that with Jesus. Ask him, and he might just show you again, some other way.
|15 Nov 2003||Dewy||I just wanted to say that I think suicide is a wonderful thing. Though I have yet to succeed, I am going to stop trying because of my children. They are my only reason for living. But for those of you who are not in my situation I think it's a good idea. I know the hell that I am going through and wish so bad that killing myself would leave no repercussion on my kids, but I know it will. And I am sure that a lot of you who are reading this site know the kind of hell I am talking about. I have been on so many friggin pills! I'm sick of it! Nothing seems to work. My doctor keeps promising me that we'll "find the right stuff" to help me but I have all but lost hope. By the way I am diagnosed as being bi-polar with severe depression and psychosis. The hallucinations alone are enough of a reason for me, let alone the times I go from bouncing off the walls to feeling like everything and everyone is against me and out to get me. Like I said if it wasn't for my kids I'd still be trying to kill myself.|
|14 Nov 2003||Antoine CHAUVAT||Quand j'aurais trouvé la meilleure façon de se suicider, je ne sais pas si je serai là pour t'en faire part|
|14 Nov 2003||----||when you're under thirteen the pain can be quite strong but you can ride it out because you haven't even finished puberty and you have a right whether you want to or not to make it that far|
|13 Nov 2003||the anti-anti-suicidal dude||My suggestions is, that, erm...., dudes! suicide is dangerous if it's not done correctly, so if you chicken out, you're gonna end up with a painfull and embarrassing life in the ER!|
|13 Nov 2003||Lucy||Ok, no offence, but you must be wacked in the head for making a website like this. Giving little kids stupid ways to kill themselves like shove a toothbrush in your belly button. Anyway, I would say that the best way to kill yourself when your under 13 is to find dad's hunting guns and blow your brains out!|
|12 Nov 2003||tess||slit wrists|
|12 Nov 2003||drowning in a sea of mediocrity||Wow, Mouchette, it's still here, still goin' strong. Ah, but I still remember the good old days........ hmmmm....|
|12 Nov 2003||a||get married|
|12 Nov 2003||Felicia on The State of the World||I never thought what it would be like if you are under 13 and thinking of a way to kill yourself. But I know of a good way you can keep from being depressed.
1.) Read a veeeeeeeeeeeerrrrrrrrry long post on Mouchette.org and figure out if it appeals to you (like mine for example). If you think that person's post applies to your personality, write to them twice as long, cry your heart out to them. If some push you aside, go to another person that writes twice as long.
2.) Never think your style of dressing sucks especially those who wear baggy clothing like Tupak or dress like Vampire Lestat.
Let me continue. I'm talking on Gothic clothing.
Since the late seventies or early eighties, the Gothic style has always been in. Black clothes, tongue rings, body piercings, black lipstick, chains, anything silver, tattoos,patent leather, black lace, stark blood red fabrics, spiked colored hair, and vintage clothing, ect..ect.. this type of style should never be offensive to people especially to 50 year old parents. The Gothic style has always been a classic. If you are under 13, and choose to read dark novels, scan through Manga magazines, anime cartoons, smoke cigarettes (which is bad for your lungs and pocketbook), flirt with skater boys and girls, watch Jerry Springer, watching the Matrix III till you feel like throwing up from watching all those battle graphics, Cheaters, have unprotected sex (please don't put yourself in jeapardy) Buffy, and Charmed, you're very much in style. In San Francisco, its nothing new to me and I understand why some people are always on the verge of suicide. If it really depresses you, while doing this, then it is time to read Care Bear books and tuning your dial to Sponge Bob Square Pants. Or better yet, read Self Help books, but chose wisely. We don't need people chanting out the demonic verses of Mr. Ed's "A Horse is a Horse of Course of Course" backwards.
3.) Another way you can get depressed is compare yourself to Lizzie McGuire, Elton John, Colin Farrell, Arnold Schwarzennegger, the Olsen twins, the Hilton twins, the Bratz doll collection, Howard Stern and the three Pagan sisters. Now you keep wondering why you don't feel beautiful or handsome and you're under 13. The secret is this...ready?
Being "SELF CONFIDENT"and never compare yourself to anyone, period. Also note that money is never the root to all happiness or evil, and beauty is only skin deep or in the eyes of the beholder.
Life is what you make it.
4.) If times are tough and you feel like giving in to suicide before 13, go out and play with your friends, enjoy the sun, wear sun block, run, eat better, get busy.
If the boy or girl at school likes somebody else, then it wasn't in the cards or the stars. Move on.
If your family is dysfunctional, change family history and become functional.
If you are fired from your job and on the verge of welfare, ride with the tide. Pretend you are working and fill out applications everywhere, while collecting unemployment or public assistance. Never think that a mediocre job at McDonalds, will kill you. It is an honest job. Many executives out there have been Clowns working at a circus. Many CEO tycoons have went for early retirement. People like me are volunteer working with children and reading to them.
Take it in stride, don't think life is over. Life can only get better.
|12 Nov 2003||mauvaissouhait||Chris, i am sorry to say that i never recieved your e-mail.. Try again will you please? subject it Chris2donielle. maybe that would help. i need to comfort of your words at this very moment. im just at the point where im ready to try one last time to end all the pain and suffering. Chris.. an e-mail, being able to talk to u more might help. just maybe...|
|11 Nov 2003||Leanne2Chris||I think about you too.
But things are getting hard. I've spent my days taking tablets (not attempts). Punishing myself for being unprepared. Unprepared at the fact I can't take it lying in bed wondering what the fuck is happening to Mauvais. When I thought she went, it was just like the time I thought Just A Girl went (and thank christ she's still here). It's also just like the time when Gay Punk and Will among others decided to disappear off the face of the earth.. I mean... WHERE ARE THEY?!
I figured 'Leanne, HELLO!- It's a fucking suicide site. Whether I like it or not, these things are going to happen. People will come and some will go.' I can't take it.
I cherish the fact you Chris are still here, and you Mauvais, but it also breaks my heart you guys and others want to fade away, in the same way I want to fade away... I almost did... if only I increased the dosage.
I'm losing the will, the energy and the love to live. I put pressure on Just A Girl when I told her how much I loved her entries. I'm not prepared to do that again to others. It puts pressure on me in turn.
I'm in a desperate search to restore my faith in myself. I wasn't strong before, but I'm even weaker now.
I'm trying Chris, but as you all know, it's hard all on your lonesome.
|11 Nov 2003||rey||I throw up so much maybe i should stop taking 12 sleeping pills a day and look for help.|