Reading these suicide pages you will find people seeking help and people offering their help. Some witness about suicide from real life experience, others who play along with me would pretend it's a children's game. Some make sick and cruel jokes about it, and angry people blame me for even mentioning the subject. You might also want to read my favourite answers. If you want your answer to be included here, fill in the form.

Date Name/email

What is the best way to kill yourself when you're under 13?

Quelle est la meilleure forme de suicide pour les moins de 13 ans?
01 Feb 2004 tdcj~ well now. . . 2004 can bring hope for anyone who has blood in there veins. It is hope that keeps that blood moving don't you think? I am an Amerikan. I want Howard Dean for president! I want to be a DJ in a town that needs organized choas on the local feaks. I want a pro philanthrophy buisness to help my friends that in projects. I want my investors to invest in my INDEPENDENT HUMANITARIAN DREAM! I want to live in an UTOPIAN world but when I look around I can't feel that or taste that I just see pain and suffering. I guess that is the way it goes. Last night I sat in a really KOOL hottub with some "millionairs" in amerika and the lights in tub changes colors and Norah Jones was being piped out to bose speakers. There are capitalist humanitarians who want change for the world. BUT, everyone always wants their piece of the pie. MY PIE exists in my head that I can suck up into "that utopian dream" I love it I have hope in it. Sometimes when my mind magnutes me to the "mental hospital" I see truth in energy of people souls that try SO HARD to be something. But I think we are all human and I think as well that if we try too hard to answer the fact that humans are not "questions" we are something outside that. DO YOU GET THAT! I have hard time reading. Sometimes I just ask people I love to read to me so I can hear. I am trying to focus on change for the better but sometimes I see a circle that humans will never get off of like a hamster wheel. There will always be war unless people accept that democracy is the key to diversity or diversity is the key to democracy. I wish on every star that heart loose those terms and just feel that way~ meet half way~ learn and grow into a better species. Hope nobody thinks I am dumb because I can't always spell right and I make up words. WHAT IS ESPERANTO? I think we already have it! It is here among a sea of words capped with pain and under toes of suffering. Keep the faith in what ever keeps you alive and find something that you can invest in to GIVE YOU HOPE> now forget all these words and what are you left with? ANSWER: (for me) it is a feeling. . .
30 Jan 2004 Will Snow If everyone was suicidal the population would die out. I felt suicidal last night. Well, my wife was giving me grief. Well, i hear you say "How can you be gay and be married". It's a long story. I was too scared to tell anyone i am gay. So i just went with the flow. Sad sod that i am. A lot of people have given me support. People i thought wouldn't. But last night i felt as though something was eating me again, and suicide was the only option.
30 Jan 2004 scott fletcher i remember as a child trying to gas myself in my sisters Fisher Price oven..... it didn't work but it did come in a box.
29 Jan 2004 Rebecca I am thinking about killing myself. I will be 13 on january 30 2004 and i have been thinking about it since i was 7. I was raped many times but my stepfather and my father left before i was born. I have many reasons to want to do it. Lately the choice has come up more often. I am on prozac which is a depression medecine i take 60 mg. a day and lately when my mom gives it to me I don't take it. I have been putting them in a lil tin saving them for later. So far i have 120mg. I'm probably gonna save about 300 and some mg before i try anything. I have a boyfriend that is trying to stop me who I really love but I just don't wanna live anymore i want out! It doesn't matter ur age! I have cut my wrist many times on major veins and it has not worked. so with pills is how I'm gonna do it probably unless somebody can change my mind! If any comments email me at
29 Jan 2004 Chris Yeah, I'm still alive, and this time its me writing. No Lucifer and devil games. I wonder how many of you really got the joke and irony of the Lucifer thing but this time around there's absolutely nothing to fear for it is me; good, old Chris.

2004 is almost a month old and still wheeling around its temper tantrums like a new-born baby, babbling and gaaing and waking you up in the middle of the night with a splitting headache. Which reminds you that the party is over and you need to start clearing the remains of the old year which has just given up its fight for life.

Thankfully, the Christmas decorations have been mysteriously disappearing on their own and you have already binned the Christmas cards and unwanted presents at your mum's. Speaking of presents, Santa has got it wrong once again and all you want to do is beat him and all his freaking elves to death with your bare hands and then crawl under the covers for a long, long sleep.

It's amazing how quickly you can go off a year. I was quite enjoying 2004 to begin with. I thought it seemed like my kind of annum. Relaxing, peaceful, quiet. I was getting along just fine, for the first 2 days at least. Until the third day at 6:30am, when my alarm went off and ruined everything. And it juyst went downhill from there. The lukewarm shower. Stumbling around in the dark to get dressed. Getting out to catch the bus to college, with half the hungover in the country sharing our our lane and the next one without signalling their indicator.

In other words, it is all depressingly similar to 2003, only with a few extra irritations thrown in for good measure. Having to deal with 10 days' worth of post and e-mail and bankcrupty are special joys that are reserved at the start of the year. And then, of course, there's the great post-Christmas catch up, in which every person at college has to go round seperately and ask every other person in the place what they did for New Year. And everyone says that they went to a party, got really drunk and that it was a bit rubbish and they think they'll stay in next year,

Despite the setbacks, it's remarkable how optimistic so many of us still are at this time of year. After all, less than a month has passed since 2004 tapped us on the shoulder while we were exchanging champagne-flavored snogging. It must be our instinct of hope, fuelled by the great family festival of Christmas followed by the arbitrary flip of New Year. Sort out the problems by Christmas, the belief goes, and come the New Year, fortune will shine. 2004 will be better than 2003.
29 Jan 2004 Chris ...This sense of hope also includes those fateful minutes during which we all look back across the year that has just passed and congratulate ourselves on our narrow escape from cholera, neighbours, superstition and sabre-toothed tigers. Then we get out the crystal ball, dust it and try to locate ourselves in the river of time that is 2004. Yes, we humans are obsessed with possible futures and time, because they are the ones which kill us. What we don't realise is that time contains every paradox. It shrinks, it stretches, it flies, it drags. It varies relativistically acccording to the spread of the observer. Consider the following mystery- a mouse barely lives three years; an elephant could survive for sixty. But a mouse's heart beats 700 times a minute and an elephant's beats 30 times a minute- they are both around for a billion heartbeats. So do both lifetimes feel like a lifetime?

Given the ambiguity of limited edition time, we cannot predict the future. What I think will happen may not happen, I may be utterly wrong, and I usually am. But this does not stop me from taking out a fag and making some predictions about the shape of things to come in 2004, the year of the monkey according to the Chinese calendar. The same calendar says that children born in 2004 will like reading, are good at remembering the things they read and might become famous. Monkey children also like to be busy.

Following the latter precept, we are all monkey children in January, because we all keep ourselves busy in the next few weeks by spending much of our spare time either buying things or worrying about buying things. I understand that the last thing we want to do right now, while we are still feeling the effects of all the turkey and Christmas pudding, is anything too active. And we've just spent loads of money on presents. But surely this won't stop us from keeping the first and last resolution we made when the clock was ticking off the last of 2003- the January sales. We will forsake everything and replete with sleeping bag and supplies, shack up in the entrance to department stores for the chance of a once in a lifetime 90% off three piece suite. We will shop and suffer while questioning our relationship with the root of all evil- money. Our bank manager will eventually go mad.
29 Jan 2004 Chris ....January is also the time when most of us will go on diets because we feel like we have to take ourselves in hand, as though we've been naughty and need to police ourselves. Most people will have allowed themselves what they consider to be an indulgence over Christmas and, unfortunately, instead of January being a slosh period of pleasure, it will invoke terrible anguish and guilt.

For football fanatics, January heralds the opening of the player transfer window, through which I would like to throw a brick. Year after year, overpaid players who have spent the first half of the season on the substitutes' bench doing crossword puzzles get transferred to other clubs, where they spend the second half of the season on the substitutes' bench, playing with their cell phones. The chances are that some of them will end up playing for Inter (stupid Italian team), or Wolves (stupid English team). etc!

Come February, and love will come to town with cooing noises. Valentine's day is all about heartfelt romantic gestures and sacrificial offerings on the altar of true lurve. Cards will be carefully selected for their meanings, anonymous messages cautiously composed, envelopes sealed with a loving kiss and sensous bundles of flowers will either start up or reaffirm a love affair. Although it may just be another marketing opportunity we still fall for it and go shopping again all over the place, where you can't go walking without being virtually assaulted by large photographs of young ladies wearing, if that's possible, even less then they would in a lingerie ad. You can't enter a cafeteria without stumbling across mountains of heart-shaped biscuits and piles of chocolate cupids. You can't switch on the telly without seeing florist on obscure stations, giving a lesson in floral etiquette- a white rose for eternal love, a red rose for passion, a carnation for sincerity, a tulip for a first love. You can't open the newspaper without being told where to go and eat tonight, where best to snog and where to buy those last minute frillies.

March is spring, time to wake up that body and realise the January diet didn't work at all. Sunshine and spring flowers bring with them a new optimism, so the next few days are a great time to divest yourself of bad habits and make some new resolutions which will suffer the same ending as your January ones. Yourself and other town mice will get out your station wagon and armed with green footballs and enough good food to last the World War will attack the countryside, where yours truly lives. You'll bring down the rubble walls while your kids eat all the green things running about, including the football.

April is a month for the egg-centrics. Our feasts and holidays are mostly lame excuses to eat chocolates and buy presents, and Easter is one of them. Yet this one is preceded with a period of fasting, which means we will eat larger amounts to compensate for having had to faint while drinking black coffee for a couple of days. Then out come the bunnies and eggs, while we wag our tails and munch our way to more resolutions.

May will see the nearing to begin of examinations for school children and college students. Everyone is tensed up. Screaming is done by kids, parents and their teachers. The kids really don't want to do it but there's not much choice, especially if father promised to buy a new bicycle or computer if good grades are won. Depression, tension and migraine loom in the air and no one gets a rest...

And when June comes, one would realise that there was only screaming and tension during May and so no real work or studying was done! So June will either see you toil for your exams or fanning your way through heat and carcades celebrating the Euro 2004 taking place in Portugal. Qualifying for Euro 2004 dominated the international football calendar in 2003, and the finals will kick off with Portugal versus Greece on June 12, at the O Dragao stadium in Porto. These will be 23 days that will shake the world, with those heart stopping moments when a penalty shoot-out goes wrong or an Italian player fakes injury. Workers will protest for time off while the fans go out and try to kill each other with words and accusations from one car to another as honking cars' fans shake our already shaken streets.

Nothing happens in July, except that most of you start your half-days. Otherwise, it will be a normal month. We will drive like maniacs, lean on the horn and yell obscenities at fellow motorists. We will be involved in accidents, although it will always be their fault or blame the women drivers. We will also see the first signs of sunburns, despite all the Health Promotion Department's warnings. Workers will be more careless and not wear their safety gear. Illegal immigrants will infiltrate Europe from Africa and start landing all over the place.

August will see feasts peaking, accompanied by the sound of fireworks setting off car alarms. There will be a huge debate over abolishing fireworks, but plans will go up in smoke, since fireworks are inherent to man and our strangely creative and simultaneously destructive nature. But at least, I hope we will start making sense. I can appreciate the swish and colours of fireworks, but the accompanying petard bang is absurd as a Beckett play.

It is almost certain that the month of September will follow August, and it will be back to school blues again and a flurry of shopping. Kids will carry heavier satchels too, as well as sports shoes, colour coded plastic covers and stationery. Mini-buses will start roaming our streets again, carrying more students than they are supposed to and swerving in and out of traffic with two dozen young lives stuck to the fake leather seats.

October, and the weather starts cooling a bit with the promise of winter. Out come winter clothes and more food to keep us warm, making us almost the fattest men and the fattest women in the world while enjoying a frightening obesity rate. For those who don't get it, a fat child is not a sign of wealth and health, but of sickness. Despite their airing, new TV schedules will still retain their musty air and filling us with more crap talk shows and long forgotten or never heard of movies, which are crap anyway.

November will get us thinking about money management, and then see us start the preperations for yet another Christmas and New Year, thus coming full circle from where 2004 all started. 2004 will be just like 2003, and 2002, and the impact of the accelerating growth of science, technology, population, globalisation, radical belief systems and kids will form the complex of crises we will have. Yet only one thing is certain for the future. Just as we fervently believe we are living in a special year, and are a special generation witnessing a huge turning point in human affairs, so will our grandchildren and their grandchildren. Every generation thinks the same, and they're always just a little bit wrong.

So 2004 will either be boring or a year of unexpected happenings. Maybe the Beagle 2 space probe will be found and so will little green Martians. Space travel will increase and as colonists, we will be able to tax the Martians. Time travel, however, I cannot see happening. It took the great Stephen Hawking to point out the obvious objection- that if it were possible, surely we would have seen tourists from the fututure by now? We will kill no one and nothing but time, North and South Korea will shake hands and so will the Middle East. We will be more cultural people and read more. People in cinemas will behave as civilised people and those in theatres will not laugh during Hamlet. What a surprising year that would be.

And maybe the world will get better in 2004. This well-wishing has become a tradition year after year, like actors wishing for peace during their Oscar speech. Like most traditions, it is as empty as your toothpaste tube, but we still do it, hoping there will be no earthquakes which kill 40,000 people and Iraq will become a popular tourist destination. Berlusconi will bite his tongue before blurting out things and Mr Blair will get no more embarrasments.

There is an old joke which asks "How do you make God laugh?" The answer- "Tell him about your plans". So don't make any for 2004. Maybe it will be like 2003, maybe it won't. Just think that the future need not be as bleak as it was in the past.

Cya all in the dreamy future...
29 Jan 2004 Will Snow I have felt suicidal for some time now. But, i'm feeling better in myself. Life is for living. sometimes i have down days like today. But be strong everyone. There is light at the end of the tunnel, even though it sometimes doesn't seem like it. Luv ya xxx
28 Jan 2004 James Hmm. Let's see. I once slit my wrist with a scissors in class. It was over some corny thing.. but i was stressed kaoz of a school project... anyway b4 i knew it i was slashing my wrists... i had to go see the vice principal for that.. this was back in 1995. 19 now.. in a few months 20. Honestly? no different from then. I didn't understand life properly then.. and now, i think i do. only problem is that i don't think i want to be part of it. walked in the sea once dried to drown myself... full clothed.. until at the last minute i chickened out. my scars are never permanent kaoz i cut using penknives... so they heal.. and leave a small line. so wat IS the best way? pop about 40 paracetamols, coke and vodka. after that lock urself in your room. you can take more paracetamols if you want.. hell, if ur going to commit suicide do it the right way. if u got no balls to do it then just fuck off and live life instead of being a suicidal wannabe. Here's to all Singaporeans out there.
26 Jan 2004 Felicia Born in the Monkey Year Hi Joe Lee,

Happy New Chinese "Year of the Monkey" to you too. People call me lousy because they think that people born in this monkey year is tricky and hard to fool.

I get tricked all the time and I am made a fool of most of the time. And being a Gemini too is a lot worst. Now everybody says I am tricky, hard to fool, and two faced.

All I need is a cheer up and some chinese new year money to come my way. But I haven't been to Vegas yet and don't know how to play poker or yatzhee. I don't know how to play chess either and scrabble for that matter.

Sad. Sad. Sack. Oh well.
26 Jan 2004 loveyourself I think the best way to kill yourself is to... not... because life is beautiful..i am beautiful.. you are beautiful... and whoever wants to kill themselves are just craving attention... stop being so immature about it..... LIFE IS GREAT .... LOVE LIFE .. i love life because MONEY is what makes the world go round.... so if you feel depressed..... and you're a girl go dance be a stripper for a year save all the money, invest and you will be the happiest girl ever ... !! i promise ! Just save money buy a house a car ... a dog.. AND LIVE BABY! xoxoxox
25 Jan 2004 Mackellar Mr. Lee~
You might unearth a great deal of amusement for yourself, as well as your cat, should you study what PSYOPS has discovered about the factual nature behind a schizophrenic mind.
25 Jan 2004 Anton Do it the slow way. Live your life ...
25 Jan 2004 amy hi. i'm nu here. i think its really kool the way all you guys like almost talk it thru- the way you feel and all that. ive been suicidal for years- i got put on anti-depressants which made it feel better but they don't let you do anything you want to. so i took an overdose with those pills in my pe changing room- there was about 55 but my teacher came in and i got taken to hospital and now everyone knows. but im not embarrassed. this is something i really believe in. so i can stand next to a person and i can say straight to their faces 'i want to die'. the worse thing than feeling like you are is when you try to kill yourself is when you don't succeed and you have to go thru all the pain- only from the beginning this time. it goes on for the rest of your life, so you have to end that life and die- end all the pain- end all the suffering until you're not there anymore. if you want to cut yourself and bleed to death, loads of people say go across with the knife but you have to slash every bit of vein you can see on your body. i dream of suicide all night and all day and to me, dying is my greatest ambition. people see you in the street and they don't know what you're going thru and they cant help you get thru this- only you can do that. you just need someone there for you- to help you over it. life isnt worth living if there is nothing there for you. i hate this world and everything it has done to me. i hate my mother for bringing me into this world and most of all i hate myself for letting me get like this. suicide only works if you believe in it, if you put your greatest effort into it. if you want to die you go the whole way and do that because no one will stop you if you are that desperate. i have tried to kill myself 7 times in the last two months and see how fucked up i am- so fucked up, i can't even take my own life. those people who come up to you and say you're stupid just for feeling the way you feel. if you want to, you go ahead and do it cos no one can stop you doing it if you just believe in yourself. i hope that you will all get your wishes and end your life the way you want because i know how painful it is if you don't. by the way. if you get put on pills, don't take them because they stop you killing yourself- they mess with your mind- please take my advice- if you're going to do it- do it properly- end your suffering and others and one day we may stand united in death.
email me if you have any suggestions. i need to get out of this world from where i stand alone, looking through this tiny window seeing all the pain and suffering and through my eyes all i see is pain, people dying, me dying inside. in my heart. i hate this world will someone please help me dye. this room i stand in is full of suffering and my own pain. i know not where to turn and all i think about is dying- ending it all i'm sorry. help yourself help others like you- who want to die. i hope you all get your wish of suicide because there is nothing in this world for those who believe there is nothing
25 Jan 2004 xxxx I cant believe that this is even here on the net. I do understand because when I was under 13 there was one time i thought about it for about 10 seconds. I was never really serious. I helped lots of my friends who thought it was the way out and helped save one friend who wouldnt talk to me after that. Life is a precious thing and I dont blame you kids. I blame your parents! I dont understand how a parent can let a child get depressed.
25 Jan 2004 Lauren ive just taken about half the pills. thanx 2 whoever readmy wemails.someonr actually listened for once. thankyou. once i've taken them im going to the bridge and im going tohhang my serklf. thankuo. everyine on trhgis site has reaklly unfkluerncved ne buty uity werenmt enuf. respecially chris. sorry
25 Jan 2004 Lauren chris- sounds stupid but your writing/the way you talk about all this shit is so REAL. you give a shit bout most of the guys on this site and unlike some fucking shrink you actually know what people r going thru. how old are u cos the way you rite its like your more than 30
25 Jan 2004 Lauren to Chris- how old are you?
25 Jan 2004 Lauren im going to hang myself tonight- i don't think theres any point in going on anymore because no one loves me. i was put on effoxer three months ago and it makes me feel all dizzy and wierd. i've tried to kill myself loads of times before. i hate myself. but this time im going to go up to that railway bridge tonight and jump off it with a rope tie around my neck. this time it will work and tomorrow shall never come for me. if you believe in it strongly enough then you know you can do it. thankyou for reading this. if you ever succeed in your dreams for suicide maybe we could meet up if anything exists on the other side.

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