|Reading these suicide pages you will find people seeking help and people offering their help. Some witness about suicide from real life experience, others who play along with me would pretend it's a children's game. Some make sick and cruel jokes about it, and angry people blame me for even mentioning the subject. You might also want to read my favourite answers. If you want your answer to be included here, fill in the form.|
What is the best way to kill yourself when you're under 13?
Quelle est la meilleure forme de suicide pour les moins de 13 ans?
|05 Feb 2004||???||There isn't a best way to kill yourself. Ending your life is not something you should take lightly. If you are having problems and have tried everything else in your power to accomplish them, but you still feel like, well 'shit' then I think end it. The best possible way to kill yourself is doing it without any hesitation, and let the people know your problem so that they can swallow in your death, and feel that it was their fault.|
|05 Feb 2004||Will||I often feel like hanging myself. But when i put the noose around my neck, i begin to cry. I will feel better once ive left home. Being gay and being in a straight marriage is difficult. Its taken me a long time to come out. I wish i had done many years ago, but i was scared of homophobic people. I was taunted at school. I was even molested. still, thats in the past. I gotta look foward to a great future.|
|05 Feb 2004||eli||I think the best way to kill yourself is to go up to the 13th floor, close your eyes and for a moment just pretend you can fly.|
|05 Feb 2004||Chris||Recently I was enthroned in the bathroom which, for reasons obvious to anyone who has been unlucky enough to follow me in, is the one place on earth where I am left undisturbed, and my gaze wandered to the contents of the shelves. I am not referring to the books and magazines which I always like to have at hand, I did say this is a place of peace and retreat for me as well as the functional. I mean the dozens of bottles, canisters, jars, etc which we all seem to need to make ourselves presentable. And a thought struck me... how come with half of the world starving do we have so much fruit and veg in our shampoos and soaps. I am sure that my bathroom is pretty average and really taking a close look I was amazed at the sheer variety of flavours on offer. From the mint in the toothpaste the list grows and grows; lemon, lime, pineapple, coconut, orange, cucumber and dates, and that's just the shampoos. I am not counting Aloe Vera or Jojoba because I really don't know what they are or if they are edible but they certainly form a big part of my mother's beauty regime judging by the number of products which include them as ingredients. Then there are the soaps, creams and ointments which boast cherry, blueberry, primrose, oil, carrot, yes carrots in the soap! There is even a bottle of chocolate bath bubbles but that is mine, and I'm saving it for emergencies. There are various other things which claim essence of this and that but again I'm not sure what they are. There is also a packet of scented (camomile) toilet paper, the function and practicality of which even defies my odd imagination and I'm not even touching the realm of air fresheners and things which make water turn blue in the toilet bowl. The fact is our bathrooms are host to more tastes and aromas than Harrod's Food Hall but that's not it... they all claim to be able to do their various tasks with sound effects... the soap 'zings'! The shampoo puts 'zest' into your shower! The sprays 'zap'! And the bleach 'blasts'... now I think about it, the bathroom has stopped being my peaceful refuge but it has become a terrific place to dream up recipes... Maybe that will put my mind off suicide!
See ya all in the bathroom!
|04 Feb 2004||cyrill||hmmm... you should ask this friend ov mine... firstname.lastname@example.org|
|03 Feb 2004||Elysium||one word.... CRAYONS!!!!|
|03 Feb 2004||Joe Lee||I might have written something more than what I am willing to share on my normal days. The truth is that I have been off medication over the years, which in fact I should have probably stayed on. I have multiple personalities or combination of psychological characters. Only one thing seem constant for five out of seven personalities is - great interest in death.
I do not encourage suicide or go against it.. simply do whatever you have to. But sometimes simply endure your sufferings can be philosophically enjoyable.
I have woken up in the middle of the night bleeding from cuts made from invisible enemies. People calling whom I don't even remember. Only pictures could bring back some memories, but where are people in these pictures now? Ironically, society seems to favor the physically attractive, thus I always seems to have someone who can tolerate the kind of shit I throw at them.
I am tired of people,
So tired of this world,
Medication bottles brings back painful memories... a reminder of that I have seen three psychiatrists in my life.. Three! Well, I don't know about you, but I feel that could be an indication that I am mentally ill.
I certainly don't think of myself as crazy or psychotic, that's why I don't take medications. After all, why should a normal person take medications? But anyway, I am not crazy.
Sometimes it feels like a dream, but it turns out to be reality or is it vice versa?
Well, it's pretty bad if nightmares turns into reality... Like days ago, I had this dream turned into nightmare, in which I punched a friend inflicting severe damage. Not even a prior argument before the fight, but I just started punching and thinking like a boxer. Then yesterday, I saw his bruised up face and realized it was a reality... not very cool, it was a reality-nightmare all over again. Living under layers of paradoxical dimensions... I already lost myself... maybe this is hell?
Sitting in a slow rising roller coaster ride to insanity, I have already moved beyond the realms of suicidal thoughts and unsuccesful attempts. And all of me are still very excited to see what's like over the top. How powerful of an psychotic multiple personality torture can one endure, maybe pluge direct into the hell or something less harsh, who knows?
Kids, trust me... before suicide, first finish your education, read some books, enjoy some aspects of life. Then you can start your psychotic roller coaster ride in life... you will fucking love it when you move past the point of no return.
By the way, I didn't get any Chinese new year's money, but I do know how to play poker or yatzhee. I gotta be the only Chinese in the world who is like that... Damn you, who are you? For all the things you could have said, you said yatzhee, which I kinda like it. You just want to see me kill myself don't you? Damn, I feel so weird, probably being the only Chinese in the world saying that I kinda like yatzhee. I should probably ckeck myself into the labour camp one of these days.
|03 Feb 2004||doraine||tonight is the night for me. I am not a fighter you see but in amerika there are radio stations who will call people into the ring and give them 90 to box out anger. I am scared because I don't box. I will do it though. I am on 2000 mg of Depakote and 20mg of Zypreza and doctors say my mind still functions at rates they have never seen. OH MOUCHETTE what does this mean? Everwhere I live everything is familiar- strange times we are in and I feel like Sam Taylor Coleridge back from the dead and I am drunk on the milk from mother earth's tit. I might die tonight but hey I win a prize. no real gas chambers just radio waves. In life or death I CHOOSE LIFE, and tonight I will fight for real in a boxing ring with another woman to save people I love that are being looked over. DON'T DIE TONIGHT PEOPLE: re.live with me and give me power not to die as I enter the ring of radio death. RADIO KILLED THE VIDEO STAR. digital killed the video star. Who am I?|
|02 Feb 2004||Sanor||what happened to this site? jeez... got all serious all of a sudden. I think suicide is fun, go ahead do it you wimpy bastards... more O2 for me I say. quit being pitiful little, narcissistic punks and do it. I know, by the way, that 95% of these posts are from nit-wit little ego-maniacs like paris hilton and nicle richie. would you please just lose enough weight that your body goes into shock from malnutrition? and do the world a favor, toughen up people, not all were meant to roam this earth. and for you jesus frieks leave the suicidal people alone, giving them false hope in an imaginary deity doesn't help. It's like saying "Santa doesn't want you to commit suicide, because you won't get any presents then". Also "commit" is too far a stretch for these people, these kids say "i almost" or " i tried to.." blah blah blah they can't commit. it takes dedication, so try and buckle down, youth of the world and try to focus for more than fifteen seconds on something other than yourself!|
|02 Feb 2004||mitsos||swallow a coin
|01 Feb 2004||cristal harris||you know i was on the phone with my friend and she like popped 20 pills in her mouth and i told her not to but everyone get over yourselves and find a SANE friend that will help you or go to a mental institution dugh but i have a boy i lke that like said he takes so many pills for his depression that once he overdosed and like remembers licking a table
|01 Feb 2004||Courtney||I am trying to find a way to commit suicide, but as I've read, there are far more younger people in this world than just me suffering this pain. Now that I really think of this, I think to myself, "why are they trying to die? they are far to young" i've lived the same way you guys feel for 3 years, I do want to die, but what is stopping my thoughts about this is that all you younger people want to die. As much as I want to die too, I want to help. If we all help each other, we'll all make it out, okay? What i've seen, and needed myself was a good ear of listening. I listen to everyone and anyone for anything, and if anyone reading this and needs more help, but doesn't want people to know, because you know this is wrong, i can help, and i'm on your side, just email me and i'll be your shoulder to lean on.-15|
|01 Feb 2004||I don't know the best way all i know is that when my friend commited suicide it got me thinking. Is he happier now? would I be happier? Maybe if i end it then all my worries will go away. The walls will stop closing around me but i remember how upset my friends family was and i don't want to put my family through that. Everyday my life gets worse and worse. Friends think I'm overly dramatic and sometimes they make it worse. I feel like something is missing from my life and maybe if i find whats missing it'll help. I am 14 years old. Please give some advice.|
|01 Feb 2004||tdcj~||well now. . . 2004 can bring hope for anyone who has blood in there veins. It is hope that keeps that blood moving don't you think? I am an Amerikan. I want Howard Dean for president! I want to be a DJ in a town that needs organized choas on the local feaks. I want a pro philanthrophy buisness to help my friends that in projects. I want my investors to invest in my INDEPENDENT HUMANITARIAN DREAM! I want to live in an UTOPIAN world but when I look around I can't feel that or taste that I just see pain and suffering. I guess that is the way it goes. Last night I sat in a really KOOL hottub with some "millionairs" in amerika and the lights in tub changes colors and Norah Jones was being piped out to bose speakers. There are capitalist humanitarians who want change for the world. BUT, everyone always wants their piece of the pie. MY PIE exists in my head that I can suck up into "that utopian dream" I love it I have hope in it. Sometimes when my mind magnutes me to the "mental hospital" I see truth in energy of people souls that try SO HARD to be something. But I think we are all human and I think as well that if we try too hard to answer the fact that humans are not "questions" we are something outside that. DO YOU GET THAT! I have hard time reading. Sometimes I just ask people I love to read to me so I can hear. I am trying to focus on change for the better but sometimes I see a circle that humans will never get off of like a hamster wheel. There will always be war unless people accept that democracy is the key to diversity or diversity is the key to democracy. I wish on every star that heart loose those terms and just feel that way~ meet half way~ learn and grow into a better species. Hope nobody thinks I am dumb because I can't always spell right and I make up words. WHAT IS ESPERANTO? I think we already have it! It is here among a sea of words capped with pain and under toes of suffering. Keep the faith in what ever keeps you alive and find something that you can invest in to GIVE YOU HOPE> now forget all these words and what are you left with? ANSWER: (for me) it is a feeling. . .
|30 Jan 2004||Will Snow||If everyone was suicidal the population would die out. I felt suicidal last night. Well, my wife was giving me grief. Well, i hear you say "How can you be gay and be married". It's a long story. I was too scared to tell anyone i am gay. So i just went with the flow. Sad sod that i am. A lot of people have given me support. People i thought wouldn't. But last night i felt as though something was eating me again, and suicide was the only option.|
|30 Jan 2004||scott fletcher||i remember as a child trying to gas myself in my sisters Fisher Price oven..... it didn't work but it did come in a box.|
|29 Jan 2004||Rebecca||I am thinking about killing myself. I will be 13 on january 30 2004 and i have been thinking about it since i was 7. I was raped many times but my stepfather and my father left before i was born. I have many reasons to want to do it. Lately the choice has come up more often. I am on prozac which is a depression medecine i take 60 mg. a day and lately when my mom gives it to me I don't take it. I have been putting them in a lil tin saving them for later. So far i have 120mg. I'm probably gonna save about 300 and some mg before i try anything. I have a boyfriend that is trying to stop me who I really love but I just don't wanna live anymore i want out! It doesn't matter ur age! I have cut my wrist many times on major veins and it has not worked. so with pills is how I'm gonna do it probably unless somebody can change my mind! If any comments email me at Eminemchick13091@aol.com|
|29 Jan 2004||Chris||Yeah, I'm still alive, and this time its me writing. No Lucifer and devil games. I wonder how many of you really got the joke and irony of the Lucifer thing but this time around there's absolutely nothing to fear for it is me; good, old Chris.
2004 is almost a month old and still wheeling around its temper tantrums like a new-born baby, babbling and gaaing and waking you up in the middle of the night with a splitting headache. Which reminds you that the party is over and you need to start clearing the remains of the old year which has just given up its fight for life.
Thankfully, the Christmas decorations have been mysteriously disappearing on their own and you have already binned the Christmas cards and unwanted presents at your mum's. Speaking of presents, Santa has got it wrong once again and all you want to do is beat him and all his freaking elves to death with your bare hands and then crawl under the covers for a long, long sleep.
It's amazing how quickly you can go off a year. I was quite enjoying 2004 to begin with. I thought it seemed like my kind of annum. Relaxing, peaceful, quiet. I was getting along just fine, for the first 2 days at least. Until the third day at 6:30am, when my alarm went off and ruined everything. And it juyst went downhill from there. The lukewarm shower. Stumbling around in the dark to get dressed. Getting out to catch the bus to college, with half the hungover in the country sharing our our lane and the next one without signalling their indicator.
In other words, it is all depressingly similar to 2003, only with a few extra irritations thrown in for good measure. Having to deal with 10 days' worth of post and e-mail and bankcrupty are special joys that are reserved at the start of the year. And then, of course, there's the great post-Christmas catch up, in which every person at college has to go round seperately and ask every other person in the place what they did for New Year. And everyone says that they went to a party, got really drunk and that it was a bit rubbish and they think they'll stay in next year,
Despite the setbacks, it's remarkable how optimistic so many of us still are at this time of year. After all, less than a month has passed since 2004 tapped us on the shoulder while we were exchanging champagne-flavored snogging. It must be our instinct of hope, fuelled by the great family festival of Christmas followed by the arbitrary flip of New Year. Sort out the problems by Christmas, the belief goes, and come the New Year, fortune will shine. 2004 will be better than 2003.
|29 Jan 2004||Chris||...This sense of hope also includes those fateful minutes during which we all look back across the year that has just passed and congratulate ourselves on our narrow escape from cholera, neighbours, superstition and sabre-toothed tigers. Then we get out the crystal ball, dust it and try to locate ourselves in the river of time that is 2004. Yes, we humans are obsessed with possible futures and time, because they are the ones which kill us. What we don't realise is that time contains every paradox. It shrinks, it stretches, it flies, it drags. It varies relativistically acccording to the spread of the observer. Consider the following mystery- a mouse barely lives three years; an elephant could survive for sixty. But a mouse's heart beats 700 times a minute and an elephant's beats 30 times a minute- they are both around for a billion heartbeats. So do both lifetimes feel like a lifetime?
Given the ambiguity of limited edition time, we cannot predict the future. What I think will happen may not happen, I may be utterly wrong, and I usually am. But this does not stop me from taking out a fag and making some predictions about the shape of things to come in 2004, the year of the monkey according to the Chinese calendar. The same calendar says that children born in 2004 will like reading, are good at remembering the things they read and might become famous. Monkey children also like to be busy.
Following the latter precept, we are all monkey children in January, because we all keep ourselves busy in the next few weeks by spending much of our spare time either buying things or worrying about buying things. I understand that the last thing we want to do right now, while we are still feeling the effects of all the turkey and Christmas pudding, is anything too active. And we've just spent loads of money on presents. But surely this won't stop us from keeping the first and last resolution we made when the clock was ticking off the last of 2003- the January sales. We will forsake everything and replete with sleeping bag and supplies, shack up in the entrance to department stores for the chance of a once in a lifetime 90% off three piece suite. We will shop and suffer while questioning our relationship with the root of all evil- money. Our bank manager will eventually go mad.
|29 Jan 2004||Chris||....January is also the time when most of us will go on diets because we feel like we have to take ourselves in hand, as though we've been naughty and need to police ourselves. Most people will have allowed themselves what they consider to be an indulgence over Christmas and, unfortunately, instead of January being a slosh period of pleasure, it will invoke terrible anguish and guilt.
For football fanatics, January heralds the opening of the player transfer window, through which I would like to throw a brick. Year after year, overpaid players who have spent the first half of the season on the substitutes' bench doing crossword puzzles get transferred to other clubs, where they spend the second half of the season on the substitutes' bench, playing with their cell phones. The chances are that some of them will end up playing for Inter (stupid Italian team), or Wolves (stupid English team). etc!
Come February, and love will come to town with cooing noises. Valentine's day is all about heartfelt romantic gestures and sacrificial offerings on the altar of true lurve. Cards will be carefully selected for their meanings, anonymous messages cautiously composed, envelopes sealed with a loving kiss and sensous bundles of flowers will either start up or reaffirm a love affair. Although it may just be another marketing opportunity we still fall for it and go shopping again all over the place, where you can't go walking without being virtually assaulted by large photographs of young ladies wearing, if that's possible, even less then they would in a lingerie ad. You can't enter a cafeteria without stumbling across mountains of heart-shaped biscuits and piles of chocolate cupids. You can't switch on the telly without seeing florist on obscure stations, giving a lesson in floral etiquette- a white rose for eternal love, a red rose for passion, a carnation for sincerity, a tulip for a first love. You can't open the newspaper without being told where to go and eat tonight, where best to snog and where to buy those last minute frillies.
March is spring, time to wake up that body and realise the January diet didn't work at all. Sunshine and spring flowers bring with them a new optimism, so the next few days are a great time to divest yourself of bad habits and make some new resolutions which will suffer the same ending as your January ones. Yourself and other town mice will get out your station wagon and armed with green footballs and enough good food to last the World War will attack the countryside, where yours truly lives. You'll bring down the rubble walls while your kids eat all the green things running about, including the football.
April is a month for the egg-centrics. Our feasts and holidays are mostly lame excuses to eat chocolates and buy presents, and Easter is one of them. Yet this one is preceded with a period of fasting, which means we will eat larger amounts to compensate for having had to faint while drinking black coffee for a couple of days. Then out come the bunnies and eggs, while we wag our tails and munch our way to more resolutions.
May will see the nearing to begin of examinations for school children and college students. Everyone is tensed up. Screaming is done by kids, parents and their teachers. The kids really don't want to do it but there's not much choice, especially if father promised to buy a new bicycle or computer if good grades are won. Depression, tension and migraine loom in the air and no one gets a rest...
And when June comes, one would realise that there was only screaming and tension during May and so no real work or studying was done! So June will either see you toil for your exams or fanning your way through heat and carcades celebrating the Euro 2004 taking place in Portugal. Qualifying for Euro 2004 dominated the international football calendar in 2003, and the finals will kick off with Portugal versus Greece on June 12, at the O Dragao stadium in Porto. These will be 23 days that will shake the world, with those heart stopping moments when a penalty shoot-out goes wrong or an Italian player fakes injury. Workers will protest for time off while the fans go out and try to kill each other with words and accusations from one car to another as honking cars' fans shake our already shaken streets.
Nothing happens in July, except that most of you start your half-days. Otherwise, it will be a normal month. We will drive like maniacs, lean on the horn and yell obscenities at fellow motorists. We will be involved in accidents, although it will always be their fault or blame the women drivers. We will also see the first signs of sunburns, despite all the Health Promotion Department's warnings. Workers will be more careless and not wear their safety gear. Illegal immigrants will infiltrate Europe from Africa and start landing all over the place.
August will see feasts peaking, accompanied by the sound of fireworks setting off car alarms. There will be a huge debate over abolishing fireworks, but plans will go up in smoke, since fireworks are inherent to man and our strangely creative and simultaneously destructive nature. But at least, I hope we will start making sense. I can appreciate the swish and colours of fireworks, but the accompanying petard bang is absurd as a Beckett play.
It is almost certain that the month of September will follow August, and it will be back to school blues again and a flurry of shopping. Kids will carry heavier satchels too, as well as sports shoes, colour coded plastic covers and stationery. Mini-buses will start roaming our streets again, carrying more students than they are supposed to and swerving in and out of traffic with two dozen young lives stuck to the fake leather seats.
October, and the weather starts cooling a bit with the promise of winter. Out come winter clothes and more food to keep us warm, making us almost the fattest men and the fattest women in the world while enjoying a frightening obesity rate. For those who don't get it, a fat child is not a sign of wealth and health, but of sickness. Despite their airing, new TV schedules will still retain their musty air and filling us with more crap talk shows and long forgotten or never heard of movies, which are crap anyway.
November will get us thinking about money management, and then see us start the preperations for yet another Christmas and New Year, thus coming full circle from where 2004 all started. 2004 will be just like 2003, and 2002, and the impact of the accelerating growth of science, technology, population, globalisation, radical belief systems and kids will form the complex of crises we will have. Yet only one thing is certain for the future. Just as we fervently believe we are living in a special year, and are a special generation witnessing a huge turning point in human affairs, so will our grandchildren and their grandchildren. Every generation thinks the same, and they're always just a little bit wrong.
So 2004 will either be boring or a year of unexpected happenings. Maybe the Beagle 2 space probe will be found and so will little green Martians. Space travel will increase and as colonists, we will be able to tax the Martians. Time travel, however, I cannot see happening. It took the great Stephen Hawking to point out the obvious objection- that if it were possible, surely we would have seen tourists from the fututure by now? We will kill no one and nothing but time, North and South Korea will shake hands and so will the Middle East. We will be more cultural people and read more. People in cinemas will behave as civilised people and those in theatres will not laugh during Hamlet. What a surprising year that would be.
And maybe the world will get better in 2004. This well-wishing has become a tradition year after year, like actors wishing for peace during their Oscar speech. Like most traditions, it is as empty as your toothpaste tube, but we still do it, hoping there will be no earthquakes which kill 40,000 people and Iraq will become a popular tourist destination. Berlusconi will bite his tongue before blurting out things and Mr Blair will get no more embarrasments.
There is an old joke which asks "How do you make God laugh?" The answer- "Tell him about your plans". So don't make any for 2004. Maybe it will be like 2003, maybe it won't. Just think that the future need not be as bleak as it was in the past.
Cya all in the dreamy future...