|Reading these suicide pages you will find people seeking help and people offering their help. Some witness about suicide from real life experience, others who play along with me would pretend it's a children's game. Some make sick and cruel jokes about it, and angry people blame me for even mentioning the subject. You might also want to read my favourite answers. If you want your answer to be included here, fill in the form.|
What is the best way to kill yourself when you're under 13?
Quelle est la meilleure forme de suicide pour les moins de 13 ans?
|09 Aug 2003||the gay punk||hi it's me again.
oh shit, why am i writing this? most peole might read it until 2 weeks or something, then it's like buried in page 3 or something. but i know you all love me. if you don't i'll scour the world for you and kill you since whoever hates me and writes here is suicidal him/herself.
anyways my sister thinks i'm a porn addict now. and i'm like what? and she's like you're watch it all day. and i, like that's impossible since there is no porn at 2 in the afternoon and we don't have a vcr and since we live in canada, no penis is shown until like 9 in the evening. and the only "porn they show in daytime tv is exercise infomercials and soap, which shows no dick
i hate her. life sucks
|09 Aug 2003||bloodymary||Dear mouchette,
Well, thank you for putting me at the top of your list. Feel free to email me. I realize now, by wishing I was dead, that it was the greatest thing i ever did. It's a very hard choice. Live and suffer, or die and suffer no more. I never quite knew the meaning of life, because I was tortured so badly. But, some may think, that you die and burn in hell, but you don't, you just sit and think. that's all, you think about your life.
|09 Aug 2003||molli||life is really confusing a part if me loves it and wants to live yet the other wants to be through with is and give up so what is really keeping me here what is keeping any of us here? honestly I don't know and i wonder if any of us know...
being on this site and knowing i am not the only one out there makes me feel good sometimes and being able to communicate with some of u helps too..
|09 Aug 2003||will snow||hi everyone. well, the time this gets posted, i should be sleeping permanently. im sorry if im alarming people. thanks gay punk:) but sorry for letting you down. take good care. byeeeeee|
|07 Aug 2003||Magica||Take a knife and cut yourself|
|07 Aug 2003||the||darling-
forget about so-called sin and guilt and anyone else's god and the temporary (though seemingly eternal) pains of life and the numbing, lulling pull of comforting, unchallenging negativity and self-pity, remember every time you've ever felt like smiling without even knowing why... and the fact that you have experienced (relatively speaking) NOTHING yet- and it ain't all bad- swear. (and i have had some CRAP to deal with- the least of which i can give you a sense of in a quick letter)
my only sister just got diagnosed with m.s. last year; this year her husband with prostate cancer; we lost our mom when we were, respectively, 7 & 8 years old; our dad was an alcoholic with a bad attitude (to say the least) who married the step-bitch from hell; i've been raped left by an abusive husband after ten years of marriage and will never have children which i've wanted my whole life; i have no job; no money and my honey lives three thousand miles away.
he called me (just a few minutes ago) and told me our friend's sister (35 years old and beautiful and smart and obsiously very unhappy) killed herself a couple of days ago. not THOUGHT about killing herself. not TALKED about WANTING to kill herself... she is G O N E.
no goodbyes. no chatting. she will not be able to consider any options of any kind in the future. there is no future for her. nor for her 4-year old daughter in terms of a mommy.
if i may call you 'darling' again (i mean no condescending or patronizing address- i just feel so like i want you to feel love- it is out here- all over- however hard to find sometimes) you need to find a person to talk to- and you need to allow yourself to listen to them too. you're here.
my sister, who i treasure more and more every day- and who has shared more of herself since her illness than since we were YOUR age (ok- that sounded condescending- but it isn't- swear!) is HERE (and i bet her kids are glad- i KNOW i am). and however scary and uncertain her future- she still has choices- about her health and who she loves and who she can be loved by and what she sees and feels and tastes.
hell- you have no IDEA what you are trading in this reality for now do you? no CLUE! (no one does- not einstein- not gandhi- NO one!) so what's your rush?
if you just need someone to talk to, you can certainly e-mail me- i will do the best i can to tell you what i think you may be pissing away- though i promise you this- i don't have any answers about how painful and unfair and lonely and difficult things can be at times...
but i bet you have someone in your life you just aren't giving a chance to. but seriously- if you feel you don't have anyone who gets it- i will try to tell you best i can why i think you're being a mush and should hang in there.
i DO know what the alternative is: when my friends have 'checked out' (and i have lost a few- and miss them every day- and are pretty mad at them still for leaving ME!) they are GONE. bye bye. forever. no recall. and not a ONE has checked in to say things are better on the 'other side' whatever that may or may not be.
so i just suggest hanging in there, lame as it sounds.
sorry honey- no smooth ride- no angels offering a lap and cotton candy- but i promise you- there's some pretty cool stuff ahead- if you have the guts... (and i pretty much guarantee loads of hugs if you know how to ask for, and GIVE them... hugs can be better than ANYTHING- from the right people)
and there's art and travel and great new foods and kisses and eventually (took me a long time) feeling SAFE and making OTHER people feel good and music and so many things you wouldn't believe it!!! (and i have NO reason to lie) NONE.
so- you can write me here if you want- but i promise you this- you are going to have to make the choice and do the work and have the backbone to get through what's making you so sad. no one else can do that- but lots of people will be around for you if you DO.
(and just ot show you how crazy a world i KNOW this is: i'm no fool either- if this is a scam or a sham and you write me- i'll make you wish you never learned how to SPELL).
but seriously, if not- and you have a problem, i send you hugs and you can write if any of this made any sense and helped at all.
love yourself first- the rest follows.
|06 Aug 2003||Jade||place fishing wire around your throat and pull quick and hard|
|06 Aug 2003||staurblindur||Windows & a way out - out of my mind - mind the step - step lively now - now is the time - time flies when it's all blues and grey - grey skies threaten - threaten and barter - barter your soul - soul sucked dry - dry and high - high maintenance - maintenance free - free forms - forms shape - shape ship - ship slitting - slitting torn - torn shades - shades of windows - windows & a way out|
|06 Aug 2003||drake (jackie packie)||jumpin in front of a nice car and getting hit!!|
|06 Aug 2003||v||why would you want to at 13? you haven't experienced half the problems an older person has. why don't you get on? things do get better. i don't care if you say they don't live life to the full, don't let anything get in your way, you're you for a reason so if life's shit live your life as shit. if it's you then live with it, things do get better... unless you do do it that's when nothing changes|
|05 Aug 2003||third_eye||pensar en cuan asquerosa sera tu vida despues de los 13, si esa no te mata al menos provocara en ti mayores ganas de morir|
|05 Aug 2003||Lucy Cortina||Wow Mouchette, 2 holidays. Who is paying for the babe-filled trips to Barbados? I expect you have a day-job as a pornstar or something.
Meanwhile, for Lucy, it was one of those nights.
I had invited my bezzie mate Felicia over for a girly evening, so she hoisted her hefty new bosoms over to my place. It was a bit of a a squeeze getting her through the door, but we managed.
We had the Doritos out and Pachamama wine. In approx 40 minutes time we would be as trollied as skunks and doing dares involving root vegetables.
"Look at my new bag!!!" trilled Felicia. I stared at it. It was sort of pink and frilly, with a leather strap.
"What about it?" I said, which was when Felicia grabbed my head and shoved my nose right into the bag. After regaining my composure, I stared at the bag for a long time, as I knew that you have to let Felicia have her way or she gets a bit ratty and can steal your underwear.
So I kept staring at the pink bag.
It looked like a lesbian overnight bag.
Uh oh, I had thought too soon. At that moment, Felicia said "I love you Lucy!!! I love you!" and tried to kiss me.
I managed to fend her off with a french baguette in the end (french men make very nice baguettes, as Mouchette should well know).
Once she was out of my front door, she started making a fuss out in the street, but people probably dismissed her as a drunk coming home from a heavy night at the corner pub. She kept yelling and yelling in the street, asking me to look outside or open a window for her.
But nothing in the world would make me open my glistening curtains to her.
The moral? Lucy doesn't do lesbianism.
|05 Aug 2003||Lezard Valeth||I'm 17 and I hate my life, I have depression since I was 5, I never had friends and people only aproched from me when they wanted to tease me or wanted a favor or something from me, even my family hates me, I never had a girlfriend, never kissed anyone, no one never cared about me, my whole life is a failure, i feel down all the time and i'm always thinking on suicide but I'm such a coward that I'm a failure in even that, I just wished to know why god hates me so much, if anyone knows a fast, and painless way to suicide tell me cause I'm starting to get enough courage to end my pityful life...|
|05 Aug 2003||the gay punk||omgod. another one of those fucked up things. this time, it's mouchette. what's up girl? (oh my god am i turning into rupaul, not that there's anything wrong..) vacation, boyfriend, those fucking evangelist bastards that won't let us die so that more people in africa get food that we are supposed to eat. i hate evangelists. they bug the shit of of me and yes, dear will.
anyways last friday there were no plans, no parties (not that i'm in the mood or right mind to go) ana nicloe was on. that bitch i want her to die.
so yeah three whole weeks eh. so yeah here's what i did. i went to the first suicide advice page that you have since 1997. and the first one said: "devenir un adulte". i don't know what that means.
uggh there are kids outside the fucking building that like shouting "rain rain, go aya..." and they are so annoying. i'll shoot them. and yeah some bitch left her baby here, the baby crying and all... poor kid!
?bye? i advise all of those kids who don't deserve to die, half of everyone who writes here to not kill themselves, but i might be three weeks late.
|05 Aug 2003||Mike Dewfort||First take a large knife or sword, then wack off about 10 people in a busy place and before the cops can reach you either blow ur brains out if u packed a gun, or slit ur wrists. Enjoy.|
|05 Aug 2003||iza|| somebody please help
hi. i went outside a few minutes ago, i was wandering down the street and thought about a suicide. it seems like the only way out. but then i remembered, that today is my mother's birthday and it would be nasty to kill yourself on your mum's birthday, right?
but i'm so much tired of this motherfucking life. right now i just really want to die. there is absolutely nothing in this world that i could live for. i wish someone would just kill me. o god what the hell did i do to you???? why do you have to hate me so much?
for somebody in slovenia:
crt tole je zate:
ce bos enkrat dozivu to kar sm jst s tabo, me bos razumu. ce ne, me verjetn ne bos. tist obdobje,k sm bla s tabo je bil nedvomno najbl hepi obdobje mojga lajfa-ce ne celo edin. brez tebe nimam nc! vse stvari so nepomembe in mi ga cist zvisijo, tko kt jst teb. zelim si, d bi me meu tok rd kokr mam jst tebe, pa me nimas.jst pa tud nobenga druzga nm mogla met vec tok rada. kva nej pol se delam? zajebala sm k sm sploh kdaj bla s tabo,k od takrt naprej je vse drugac.k si mi dal sreco pa upanje pa vse, pol si mi pa vzel to nazaj in zdej je se huj!!!lubm te.ampak sam se potihem in sam se jst to vem...
everything is fake. enjoy people!
|05 Aug 2003||Go fuck yourselves. You don't know anything about the world. You're just brat kids who are looking for attention. Go home to mommy you fucks.|
|05 Aug 2003||Sonora||Why talking about suicide? Life is cool. It's awesome. I am very lucky to be living. My whole family died because of Pol Pot, the Khmer dictator, and somehow I got to live and come to America. I got another chance. I am very lucky and happy. So life should be a blessing, not a curse. Its only a curse if you treat it like one.|
|04 Aug 2003||Chris||So I hear that you are on holiday dear Mouchette. That's wonderful and I want to congratulate you about it! I know that life remains suicidal but at least you can escape from the boring day to day suicidal stuff and maybe relax and forget a little...
When did we in Western Europe become such wimpy scaredy cats? Every time I open a newspaper or switch on the TV I am confronted by images of deserted departure lounges at most airports and miles of empty beaches in all of our favourite holiday haunts. I can't say that these are not things that I have not wished for in the past, but not for the reason that people are terrified of going away since September 11th 2001. We should be ashamed of ourselves (this does not go for you people who would gladly go on a plane and let it crash into some building killing you and thousands of others!), especially when we consider what past generations endured to secure the freedom to come and go as we please. Personally I refuse to be terrorised out of my holidays and if anything I want to travel more than ever before. In fact I never really harboured any deep yearning to visit the USA but I would jet off to New York City without any hesitation (given the cash and the opportunity of course) even though they have just banned smoking throughout the whole city! Come on, ask yourself this question: Where would we all be now if sixty years ago everyone decided that the world was just too scary and decided to stay in the cellar for five years? Probably we would have ended up with no computers and no Mouchette (God forbid!) If you get the chance to take a look at a newspaper from between 1939 and 1945, you will be amazed at how much 'normal' activity was going while the whole world was at war-movies, dances, prize days, garden parties and yes, even holidays were all still part of people's lives, so why should a few fanatics be allowed to make us all cower at home now, more than half a century later?
Sadly the media plays the greatest role in instilling so much fear. We now get to see everything live in our living rooms, but only what the broadcasters choose to show us. For instance SARS. Yes, I know a new disease should be a worry but try to get it into some sort of perspective. This is something that has killed a few hundred people world-wide, which doesn't really qualify it as the plague, but if you believe what you read and see on TV, then you would be forgiven for thinking that the end is nigh. The fact that people are terrified of it is entirely due to the fact that someone has decided that we should be. Compare the SARS outbreak with the fact that 3,000 children die in Africa every day from malaria, something that we do have a cure for but not the will to do anything about, and all governments should commit suicide or be killed for not doing anything (take note Mr.Bush, Blair, Chirac, etc), and you should get some idea of how scared you should really be! The sad fact is that the mortality of African kids doesn't make such dramatic TV pictures as people going to work in surgical masks. Let's take reasonable precautions by all means, but don't let terrorists and TV rob us of our feedom and sense of adventure!
So congratulations again Mouchette for having the guts to go on holiday! And for the rest, just go for it! Being on this site means that you are all suicidal, so go on holiday to forget your troubles at least for a short time and you never know, luckily a terrorist might board the plane killing you and a lot of others (if the terrorist isn't yourself after all!)...
See ya on a plane, hopefully with mask on face and gun in hand...
|03 Aug 2003||Valerie||unprotected sex|