|Reading these suicide pages you will find people seeking help and people offering their help. Some witness about suicide from real life experience, others who play along with me would pretend it's a children's game. Some make sick and cruel jokes about it, and angry people blame me for even mentioning the subject. You might also want to read my favourite answers. If you want your answer to be included here, fill in the form.|
What is the best way to kill yourself when you're under 13?
Quelle est la meilleure forme de suicide pour les moins de 13 ans?
|23 Oct 2003||Chris||Visiting my local newsagent to buy a mobile-phone top-up voucher the other day, I was amazed to see a poster full of savage heavy metal lyrics pinned up behind the counter. As I handed over the money, I could distinctly detect the savage lyrics: 'Slow Death!', 'Immense Decay!'
But after adjusting my varifocal lenses to study the scene a little more closely, I realised that I was looking at racks of cigarette packets emblazoned with government health warnings.
Now, I know these cancerous cautions are nothing new, but since when did they become so predominant and explicit? Both smokers and non-smokers are probably shocked to see how the Marlboro logos and such like have been shrunk to the size of postage stamps to make room for giant messages that tell people they are going to die soon.
They say the world is turning into a nanny state- and it's absolutely true. These days, wherever you go, whatever you do, you're encouraged to be in mortal fear for your life. Why cannot people die quietly? Why should people fear death when this life is so full of hurt?
When I'm looking for someone to talk to to kill the time but find no one it hurts. When I ask for cooperation but I'm just laughed at it hurts. When I'm on a bus and the bus is full except the seat near to me but for some reason everyone prefers standing up than sitting next to me it hurts. When I pass a group of girls (or even boys) and they start laughing it hurts (What the fuck is so funny? Can anyone fucking explain?). When you see people that you know avoiding you so that they would not talk to you it hurts. When you're at a bar or party and a romantic song is played, everyone grabs his partner and dances to the the rythm. Only thing I can grab onto is my beer bottle. That hurts. When people come find you only when they need something it hurts. When everyone (even the ugliest people on the planet) seems to find a girlfriend or boyfriend except me it hurts. When people have a friend's shoulder to cry on but the only thing I can cry into is my pillow at night it hurts. When you're just bitched and mocked at by everyone for no apparent reason it hurts. When people make fun of you because of some defect you have it hurts...
Ok, I may be yelling and screaming like lots of you do. Ok, this might not be the writing that goes into the favourites. This is the broken heart of a broken man and I had to get it out and I don't give a fuck who likes it or not! I am dead but biologically alive. Might as well be dead among the biologically dead! Why don't they let us fucking die?
P.S. Mauvais Souhait, just hang in there, I will send an e-mail or write something especially for you or do something. I don't know what I'm doing or saying but believe me I will, promise! You're a writer and a poet? It's not that we are born excellent writers or something, I understand that. Happy people don't have stories to tell, We do! Some call it depression, We call it a song!
Leanne, thanks for the Good Souls bit. Love that song. I had stopped believing in love. Since I met you, I think it might really exist xxxxxxxxxx And Mauvais, just hang in there luv
See ya all in hell!
|23 Oct 2003||Elizabeth||like some of you, i have not been raped or had any other traumatizing experiences. except that my aspiration is still to kill myself. i hate my life, even when it is moderately normal. i imagine ways to murder myself and the reactions everyone i know will have, and i get truly excited and happy. although i know i'd feel bad for my parents and my sister.
it's true that there are many others who are worse off than me, but i'm not as strong as them. every time my life falls apart (which it never fails to do), i try to begin anew. i jump from old personalities to new ones and they still all manage to go to shit. i continually think, if i were dead, everyone i've ever known would realize the truth and feel like a dick. the only reason i haven't committed suicide yet is because i'm too pussy, which makes me think, maybe i'm not meant to. this thought is so depressing, because i hate being here, and i'm so tired of trying to make thinks work. i spend all day worrying about saying the right things and making funny enough jokes and looking hot enough. i just want to not have to agonize about everything anymore and show everyone, see what you did?! because of you i had to kill myself. you murdered me. i wish i had the balls to do it. for years i've been dreaming about the day i could finally suck it up. no matter what happens i can't help being depressed and i hate it. it's just time for me to end my life, i'm sick and tired of going on.
|23 Oct 2003||Jimmy||Hello Everyone out there:
Well to this day i still wanna kill myself i feel that i don`t need to feel pain from other people i hate it i hate pain i hate my life i have nothing going for me things never go right for me i hate it but who care my girlfriend doesn`t love me my mom and dad have kicked me out of my house and i live with my sister my brother in law is a fuckin lazy bastered i hate everything about this world. On December 20 2003 is my day to go plus i`ll die parting with all my friends and plus they`ll forget about me in a couple of days but i`m gonna miss my girlfriend alot but she`ll forget about me too just like all my friends and my parents well i`m drink my ass off like every other day and i`m only 17 i hate life well if your gonna kill your self and you really hate everything just do it it`ll end everything and you`ll feel no more well it`s bein nice live and i only got 1 month and 1week to go bye everyone love you all :(
|22 Oct 2003||ivan popov||dance with me
and after that we can to make this together
Ivan from bulgaria
|21 Oct 2003||john twin||No way for 13! YOU are too old for suicide, my dear! You must accept the fact that you are not dead. Take, like me, you life as bad joke - and smile!|
|21 Oct 2003||Lucy/Phil||Lucy/Phil will be dead by the end of next week :)
Yay for me!!!
|21 Oct 2003||cute doggy||Fuck all you mother fuckin bitchss! I died twice already. I am fucking immortal as I found out though my suicide attempts. Yes, I evolved into a neo-ape like little god. I could kill simply by my infinite mental power. If you want to die, send me your picture, your name, and how you want to die. I will try to kill at least one of you a day. I just evolved, so my power is still very limited. It is an exhausting mental pocess. Money don't mean shit to me, I am a little god, I do it free of charge.|
|21 Oct 2003||Emily||uuhhhh... hmm.. I would think either take a hell of a lot of pills and drink the liquids that are under the bathroom/Kitchen sink!|
|21 Oct 2003||Steve||Just checking in. I'm not dead yet, but I probably will be soon. I probably would have killed myself over this past weekend, but when I was faced with the prospect of going through with slitting my wrist, I literally started shivering with fear. I hate my life, but the thought of death still scares me. However, I don't think fear will stop me for long, as one of these days I'll probably feel terrible enough to go through with it.
I'll be slitting my wrist, and from what I heard it is an extremely painful process and can last a long time before you die. I plan to take a lot of prescription strength tylenol and numb my wrist with ice first to decrease the pain.
By the way, is Lucy/Phil dead?
|20 Oct 2003||MauvaisSouhait||Today is one of those days when you're not sure what's going on. One of those days when you feel like taking a walk and you get out there and you just walk and keep going, not sure where you're going and by the time you figure that out you're lost. But in the meantime before you figure it out you're in a daze, not being able to comprehend the world around you. Now you're somewhere and you have no clue how to get back to where you were. Then you think... "well being lost is better than being where i was, is it not?" But if you think about it.. you were lost where you were in the first place, only in a different way. You look around you and nothing seems sane. The sky is grey and the clouds are coming together as though there is to be a storm. A storm that's about to tear at the very seams of the earth. About to make all of your surroundings disappear like everything in your life has. You close your eyes and try to imagine your life, where you're from, where you went, and where you are but there's nothing, just an emptiness. What are you supposed to do now? You walk a little more until you stop. Something on the ground caught your eye and to your suprise it's a jagged piece of something sharp. "God thank you" you say. You sit on the cold hard ground and you put your arm straight out, you take the jagged piece and you cut from your wrist to the middle of your arm, up and down. Then you cut again, harder this time. The rain starts to pour down and you realize you are yourself and crying, your tears are rolling down your cheeks, the salty taste flowing down onto your lips. You realize that the rain has stopped, or maybe it's just your imagination because really you don't see much of anything. Your eyes are closed and you're laying on the ground with your arm outstretched. Finally peace... total relaxation. Maybe now you'll find where you were and are. Maybe now you aren't lost.|
|20 Oct 2003||pea2000||the best way to kill yourself at age thirteen is to stick a thumb tack or any other sharp objects into your vein then sit and watch yourself slowly bleed to death.|
|20 Oct 2003||rosy||I've tried to commit suicide before but haven't succeeded at it. i'm 16 and no one is there for me. the only thing keeping me alive is thinking how much my mother and little brother will suffer if i'm gone i also have a little brother on the way and i want to be able to see and hold him before i decide to go through with it. if any1 knows a way to commit suicide that is not painful and successful then let me know!|
|20 Oct 2003||Jessica||As sadly an expert on the subject, I have been suicidal since I was 12, I am now 21. I am going through a very complicated divorce (I was beated for hours) and I had a successful business which I lost and now am in extreme credit card debt and may be losing all my possessions, I have slept in my car, on couches, homeless shelters and spent seven hours driving trying to find a place to stay. My family disowned me after I was beaten and left the shelter. So for those of you who have tried taking your own life, I would say don't because there's a lot worse things that could happen, I mean my life hit rock, rock bottom. I'm nearly homeless and about 31,000 in debt (7400) for emergency medical bills. I have no job and I"m panicking. Over the years I have tried overdosing, I have very strong painkillers at my disposal, I took 62mg of Xanax, and I didn't even pass out, I tried overdosing on 60 OTC meds and it didn't do anything, I've tried suffocating, which is really uncomfortable and takes a really long time before you can pass out, your brain panicks before you can finish. I've tried cutting my wrist, but unless you're on a LOT of painkillers it hurts like hell, if you're going to do it that way, I suggest taking a LOT of painkillers first. I've never tried jumping off anything or running out into traffic because there's a high chance you will survive and end up brutally mutilated and still be alive and end up handicapped for life.|
|20 Oct 2003||Justin||Hey i'm not suicidal but i have helped a lot of my friends out with it so that they haven't commited it. if u want someone to talk to and come to for advice maybe i can help u. just IM me at psykodrummerdude
i'm here for u all. i cant stand people in the world that make others feel like shit
|20 Oct 2003||MauvaisSouhait2ronwelthy||That did help in a way, thankyou. But I kind of already knew that much. I write all the time, I'm a poet you see. And no just to be a poet or a writer you dont have to have ne thing published. If when u wake up everyday u think of writing then u in ur sence are a writer. In a way at least. So i write all the time whenever I can. I also go to church which doesn't seem to help much but it does help all in the same. People act as though they care, they'll be like. "hey, how are u" and keep walking before you have a chance to open up. Like they even care, if they did wait and u did open up they'd be thinking "great, now i'll never ask ne one again how they are, this sucks" and you'll finally tell someone wuts wrong but they dont care so its really no help. I just want to die. Parents think i need help but all they'll be doing is spending money. oh well. I want to live, but then again i just want to die. I feel like i'm dead already in the first place but on the inside. I'm just walking mutely in this shallow endless black pit of earthly hell. I wish I could be an individualst but for some reason i still sometimes care wut ppl say and think which sucks all in all and makes me more depressed. Maybe if I had someone who really did care to talk to but i don't think a person who generally cares about me exists. And even if they did, they'd eventually let me down or die because lets face it... All people at some point will either let you down or die and by dieing they let u down because u no longer have ne one to talk to so wuts the point? maybe i'd be better off to die but then again i think about my family and i dont want to hurt them or burden them how i am burdened. oh god why can't ne thing be easy. Life is a sweet sorrow... And the same question that's been asked for such a long time.. To be or not to be... but in my scene it would more be like To die or not to die and then you think about wut would happen if u did or didnt and u get to thinking and u think for so long that u just are too tired to do ne thing ne more and u just sleep or lay around and then u get depressed again and i guess all life is, is a depression. Even those popular "cheerleader" types get depressed. It's all.. "brush your perfect hair" "always smile" I mean it must get pretty tiring trying to prove to everyone else that you're happy which in all would get u depressed would it not? And most those famous "happy" ppl are on so many pills it's ridiculous. If i were on pills (not just talking about the ones i try to OD on) i'd probably be a little more happy. thats all for now.. yes i know i can't spell but im 16, get over it :)|
|19 Oct 2003||ronwelthy2 mauvais souhait||to tell you the truth, I tried once to kill myself, it was with gardening stuff. I put some in a box and walked with it at school. Then, it was 8 o'clock in the morning when I arrived, i locked myself in the toilet and took my bye bye letter out of my pocket and just looked at the poisonous seeds. I was a little bit frightened about doing it, but I did not care about my feelings and just swallowed them, There were two boxes. I ate one, then the other and felt like I could vomit all my guts, but I resisted and then I just remember my fall on the floor, I did not feel anything, no pain, no sorrow, I was lying peacefully on the ground
But then, I awoke at the hospital, and there were my parents above my bed. It was a shock when I saw the daylight. I would not say it was like a rebirth, no it would be an optimistic view of the situation, it was like I was diving in hell again. I just wanted to escape but they found me. It was so sick, i wanted to kill myself again, I was full of hate and anger toward my parents, the school, you cannot imagine.
Then, two weeks later i went back to school and there all the students looked at me as if I were mad, or as if I had done something wrong. There were whispers in all the corners and if I had not my friend, I mean my true friends on my side I think I would have tried to kill myself another time.
So, you see, if you awake in the morning, and you wonder how you could kill yourself, try to change and to tell you, how i could find my place, be violent, individualist as possible, don't care about the others, of you like reading just go on. Avoid the others. Then, when you will be strong enough, when you will have gone through difficulties, i think you could enter in the circle of another life.
But do not despair, it could take a year or two, be patient. Then if you do not see any changes, if you always feel sad, then you could think about suicide. But take this decision after trying everything.
|19 Oct 2003||E. Scaraby||I love you|
|19 Oct 2003||Leanne2Michael||Yes, i kinda agree when you say love is a lie. People loved me when i loved life, now they know I'm suicidal and hate life... do they love me... No, do they avoid me... Yes. Shouldn't this be the time when i need their love the most, shouldn't this be the time when i need their company the most? But on the poverty 3rd world factor... I try not to dwell on that... yes, tis true, to them we have everything, tis true we are lucky, but because they live in the 3rd world does that mean I'm not allowed to be miserable? I guess that proves that money really cannot buy happiness. yes, I feel guilty, but there's nothing personally i can do.i am only one person, i cant provide every single family out there with what they need,I alone cannot go feed them individually, i cannot put a decent roof over their heads... and i apologise for that. And watching those very sad adverts on T.V about sending £2 a month won't somehow heal the poverty, I'd just like to know where that money is really going coz i've been viewing them Ad's since i was 6 and those countries still cannot possibly get any poorer. What surprises me the most is their faith. Even though they have very little, they still have their faith, their religion. I have possessions I dont need, things I am sure I can get by without but I haven't attended church since i was 5... only coz i was forced to go. If I could change the world and all its problems I would, but like I said i am only one person, and so are you, so try not to dwell on that fact, that goes for the rest of you too. Next time someone says "you selfish fuckers, so self-pitying, when others have nothing!" You tell them "Instead of ranting&raving, showing bitterness towards us, you go do something about it if we're so god damn selfish. Go perform a miracle today!"|
|19 Oct 2003||MauvaisSouhait||i was wondering if i could talk to u. for a while sometime. if u ever get a chance. Have u ever tried to commit suicide? i'm about to take some pills right now. nothing major just about 4000mg. last night i took about 9000mg. nothing's happened yet. but i'm still waiting. I just want someone to talk to. and i have no one.
|19 Oct 2003||Michael||i feel so alone, all i have wanted to do since i was 6 is kill myself. but i'm too gutless to do it. i'm now 19 and i'm Australian, at university. i have always felt so different from everyone else and i've never fit in anywhere, i have no real friends. i had some in college (in Aus thats highschool), but all they did was betray and hurt me. Now at uni i have no friends at all. i haven't been abused, and in some respects i'm quite lucky, but i always feel like shit, and feeling like shit when i really, compared to say like people in 3rd world country or those below the poverty line, should be happy, makes me feel guilty and then i feel even shittyer. i feel lost and alone, and i can't see any real reason to live. Love is a lie, and hope is an even worse stigma.|