|Reading these suicide pages you will find people seeking help and people offering their help. Some witness about suicide from real life experience, others who play along with me would pretend it's a children's game. Some make sick and cruel jokes about it, and angry people blame me for even mentioning the subject. You might also want to read my favourite answers. If you want your answer to be included here, fill in the form.|
What is the best way to kill yourself when you're under 13?
Quelle est la meilleure forme de suicide pour les moins de 13 ans?
|20 Oct 2003||MauvaisSouhait||Today is one of those days when you're not sure what's going on. One of those days when you feel like taking a walk and you get out there and you just walk and keep going, not sure where you're going and by the time you figure that out you're lost. But in the meantime before you figure it out you're in a daze, not being able to comprehend the world around you. Now you're somewhere and you have no clue how to get back to where you were. Then you think... "well being lost is better than being where i was, is it not?" But if you think about it.. you were lost where you were in the first place, only in a different way. You look around you and nothing seems sane. The sky is grey and the clouds are coming together as though there is to be a storm. A storm that's about to tear at the very seams of the earth. About to make all of your surroundings disappear like everything in your life has. You close your eyes and try to imagine your life, where you're from, where you went, and where you are but there's nothing, just an emptiness. What are you supposed to do now? You walk a little more until you stop. Something on the ground caught your eye and to your suprise it's a jagged piece of something sharp. "God thank you" you say. You sit on the cold hard ground and you put your arm straight out, you take the jagged piece and you cut from your wrist to the middle of your arm, up and down. Then you cut again, harder this time. The rain starts to pour down and you realize you are yourself and crying, your tears are rolling down your cheeks, the salty taste flowing down onto your lips. You realize that the rain has stopped, or maybe it's just your imagination because really you don't see much of anything. Your eyes are closed and you're laying on the ground with your arm outstretched. Finally peace... total relaxation. Maybe now you'll find where you were and are. Maybe now you aren't lost.|
|20 Oct 2003||pea2000||the best way to kill yourself at age thirteen is to stick a thumb tack or any other sharp objects into your vein then sit and watch yourself slowly bleed to death.|
|20 Oct 2003||rosy||I've tried to commit suicide before but haven't succeeded at it. i'm 16 and no one is there for me. the only thing keeping me alive is thinking how much my mother and little brother will suffer if i'm gone i also have a little brother on the way and i want to be able to see and hold him before i decide to go through with it. if any1 knows a way to commit suicide that is not painful and successful then let me know!|
|20 Oct 2003||Jessica||As sadly an expert on the subject, I have been suicidal since I was 12, I am now 21. I am going through a very complicated divorce (I was beated for hours) and I had a successful business which I lost and now am in extreme credit card debt and may be losing all my possessions, I have slept in my car, on couches, homeless shelters and spent seven hours driving trying to find a place to stay. My family disowned me after I was beaten and left the shelter. So for those of you who have tried taking your own life, I would say don't because there's a lot worse things that could happen, I mean my life hit rock, rock bottom. I'm nearly homeless and about 31,000 in debt (7400) for emergency medical bills. I have no job and I"m panicking. Over the years I have tried overdosing, I have very strong painkillers at my disposal, I took 62mg of Xanax, and I didn't even pass out, I tried overdosing on 60 OTC meds and it didn't do anything, I've tried suffocating, which is really uncomfortable and takes a really long time before you can pass out, your brain panicks before you can finish. I've tried cutting my wrist, but unless you're on a LOT of painkillers it hurts like hell, if you're going to do it that way, I suggest taking a LOT of painkillers first. I've never tried jumping off anything or running out into traffic because there's a high chance you will survive and end up brutally mutilated and still be alive and end up handicapped for life.|
|20 Oct 2003||Justin||Hey i'm not suicidal but i have helped a lot of my friends out with it so that they haven't commited it. if u want someone to talk to and come to for advice maybe i can help u. just IM me at psykodrummerdude
i'm here for u all. i cant stand people in the world that make others feel like shit
|20 Oct 2003||MauvaisSouhait2ronwelthy||That did help in a way, thankyou. But I kind of already knew that much. I write all the time, I'm a poet you see. And no just to be a poet or a writer you dont have to have ne thing published. If when u wake up everyday u think of writing then u in ur sence are a writer. In a way at least. So i write all the time whenever I can. I also go to church which doesn't seem to help much but it does help all in the same. People act as though they care, they'll be like. "hey, how are u" and keep walking before you have a chance to open up. Like they even care, if they did wait and u did open up they'd be thinking "great, now i'll never ask ne one again how they are, this sucks" and you'll finally tell someone wuts wrong but they dont care so its really no help. I just want to die. Parents think i need help but all they'll be doing is spending money. oh well. I want to live, but then again i just want to die. I feel like i'm dead already in the first place but on the inside. I'm just walking mutely in this shallow endless black pit of earthly hell. I wish I could be an individualst but for some reason i still sometimes care wut ppl say and think which sucks all in all and makes me more depressed. Maybe if I had someone who really did care to talk to but i don't think a person who generally cares about me exists. And even if they did, they'd eventually let me down or die because lets face it... All people at some point will either let you down or die and by dieing they let u down because u no longer have ne one to talk to so wuts the point? maybe i'd be better off to die but then again i think about my family and i dont want to hurt them or burden them how i am burdened. oh god why can't ne thing be easy. Life is a sweet sorrow... And the same question that's been asked for such a long time.. To be or not to be... but in my scene it would more be like To die or not to die and then you think about wut would happen if u did or didnt and u get to thinking and u think for so long that u just are too tired to do ne thing ne more and u just sleep or lay around and then u get depressed again and i guess all life is, is a depression. Even those popular "cheerleader" types get depressed. It's all.. "brush your perfect hair" "always smile" I mean it must get pretty tiring trying to prove to everyone else that you're happy which in all would get u depressed would it not? And most those famous "happy" ppl are on so many pills it's ridiculous. If i were on pills (not just talking about the ones i try to OD on) i'd probably be a little more happy. thats all for now.. yes i know i can't spell but im 16, get over it :)|
|19 Oct 2003||ronwelthy2 mauvais souhait||to tell you the truth, I tried once to kill myself, it was with gardening stuff. I put some in a box and walked with it at school. Then, it was 8 o'clock in the morning when I arrived, i locked myself in the toilet and took my bye bye letter out of my pocket and just looked at the poisonous seeds. I was a little bit frightened about doing it, but I did not care about my feelings and just swallowed them, There were two boxes. I ate one, then the other and felt like I could vomit all my guts, but I resisted and then I just remember my fall on the floor, I did not feel anything, no pain, no sorrow, I was lying peacefully on the ground
But then, I awoke at the hospital, and there were my parents above my bed. It was a shock when I saw the daylight. I would not say it was like a rebirth, no it would be an optimistic view of the situation, it was like I was diving in hell again. I just wanted to escape but they found me. It was so sick, i wanted to kill myself again, I was full of hate and anger toward my parents, the school, you cannot imagine.
Then, two weeks later i went back to school and there all the students looked at me as if I were mad, or as if I had done something wrong. There were whispers in all the corners and if I had not my friend, I mean my true friends on my side I think I would have tried to kill myself another time.
So, you see, if you awake in the morning, and you wonder how you could kill yourself, try to change and to tell you, how i could find my place, be violent, individualist as possible, don't care about the others, of you like reading just go on. Avoid the others. Then, when you will be strong enough, when you will have gone through difficulties, i think you could enter in the circle of another life.
But do not despair, it could take a year or two, be patient. Then if you do not see any changes, if you always feel sad, then you could think about suicide. But take this decision after trying everything.
|19 Oct 2003||E. Scaraby||I love you|
|19 Oct 2003||Leanne2Michael||Yes, i kinda agree when you say love is a lie. People loved me when i loved life, now they know I'm suicidal and hate life... do they love me... No, do they avoid me... Yes. Shouldn't this be the time when i need their love the most, shouldn't this be the time when i need their company the most? But on the poverty 3rd world factor... I try not to dwell on that... yes, tis true, to them we have everything, tis true we are lucky, but because they live in the 3rd world does that mean I'm not allowed to be miserable? I guess that proves that money really cannot buy happiness. yes, I feel guilty, but there's nothing personally i can do.i am only one person, i cant provide every single family out there with what they need,I alone cannot go feed them individually, i cannot put a decent roof over their heads... and i apologise for that. And watching those very sad adverts on T.V about sending £2 a month won't somehow heal the poverty, I'd just like to know where that money is really going coz i've been viewing them Ad's since i was 6 and those countries still cannot possibly get any poorer. What surprises me the most is their faith. Even though they have very little, they still have their faith, their religion. I have possessions I dont need, things I am sure I can get by without but I haven't attended church since i was 5... only coz i was forced to go. If I could change the world and all its problems I would, but like I said i am only one person, and so are you, so try not to dwell on that fact, that goes for the rest of you too. Next time someone says "you selfish fuckers, so self-pitying, when others have nothing!" You tell them "Instead of ranting&raving, showing bitterness towards us, you go do something about it if we're so god damn selfish. Go perform a miracle today!"|
|19 Oct 2003||MauvaisSouhait||i was wondering if i could talk to u. for a while sometime. if u ever get a chance. Have u ever tried to commit suicide? i'm about to take some pills right now. nothing major just about 4000mg. last night i took about 9000mg. nothing's happened yet. but i'm still waiting. I just want someone to talk to. and i have no one.
|19 Oct 2003||Michael||i feel so alone, all i have wanted to do since i was 6 is kill myself. but i'm too gutless to do it. i'm now 19 and i'm Australian, at university. i have always felt so different from everyone else and i've never fit in anywhere, i have no real friends. i had some in college (in Aus thats highschool), but all they did was betray and hurt me. Now at uni i have no friends at all. i haven't been abused, and in some respects i'm quite lucky, but i always feel like shit, and feeling like shit when i really, compared to say like people in 3rd world country or those below the poverty line, should be happy, makes me feel guilty and then i feel even shittyer. i feel lost and alone, and i can't see any real reason to live. Love is a lie, and hope is an even worse stigma.|
|18 Oct 2003||ronwelthy2mauvais souhait||ye, you are all right, when you fell like you are going to kill yourself, no one try to help you, and you are left alone with suicidal thoughts, you try to résist, to fight someone, against those dark clouds, but you have no allies, just weird looks which say
_Well look at her, she is mad.
But then, after you attempt to kill yourself, the whole family, your friend are trying to understand you, as if they were trying to get our favour, they are all hypocritical.That's pretty shit you know.
Well I don't mean to give any lesson, just to tell you one or two things. If you really feel suicidal and you don't want to kill yourself, just become an individualist. The world cannot help you, well just try to reject it. Instead, if you have somethings to say, if you feel like everythings are getting worse and worse, just open a notebook and write in it. It will a better therapy than speaking to your family, or your friend, or going to a psychologist.
And to answer your last question about death, I don't think there is something after the Great passage, just a black empty space where you can live and float peacefully, that's what I think. Death is the great enigma of all society, but I think that to believe in it you don't have to believe in god so it make easier for atheist to understand, or if you believe in a god, with my theory you don't have to bother about your terrestrial life.
I hope this will help you. But remember, if you feel lost, remember one thing just write your thoughts.
|18 Oct 2003||MauvaisSouhait||Chris, your comments are interesting. I'd love to talk to you sometime if you're up for it. you should know my e-mail by now. thanks.|
|18 Oct 2003||MauvaisSouhait||Sometimes you believe that there is no other way out than to just end it now and not have to worry any more about the agonizing pain and the twisted torment. For you, dieing may be a way of solitude, a way of total peace. What should it matter to anyone else if you're going to do it or not? Shouldn't it be your life? And the people who say they care after u attempt it, why didn't they show they cared in the first place before u tried it. I'd love to get out of this teasing reality. The only time i am truly at peace is when i'm sleeping and even then it gets interrupted by whispering howls and gruesome nightmares. So i guess there isn't a true peace any way. I mean after u die what then? What happens when you're dead? Is there a god, a 2nd life, true peace, or just all blackness and quiet sounds. I wish i knew an answer. I wish i could help someone. or that someone could help me. But i'm lost and i can't seem to find my way.|
|18 Oct 2003||Leanne2tiffany||Tiffany, thanks for sharing your past experiences and im genuinely pleased (and a teeny bit jealous!) you've overcome that desire to end your life. my dad is an alcoholic and he also mentally&physically abused my mum, me&my brothers. And maybe one day, i hope some time soon, I'll get to where you are now because sometimes when reasons to live seem too few, all i need on a rainy day are chris's words, he is an excellent writer. I reckon your brother at this very moment is very pleased to see you're at peace with yourself.|
|18 Oct 2003||Leanne2Phyl||Sounds to me as if Phyl's got his knickers in a twist. yeah, maybe you're right, perhaps we are all attention seekers... but is that so bad? If we cant get our own family and friends to take note of our misery, what's wrong with voicing it here? if you dont like the idea of suicide, why did you come to this site? I would suggest an anger managment site for you or something...|
|18 Oct 2003||Phyl||To die|
|18 Oct 2003||MauvaisSouhait||I've been suicidal for a while now. I'm 16 and almost finished with HighSchool. Trying to get into a college and things are stressful. I'm not the "typical" suicidal teen as most. I wasn't raped or abused. For some reason i've always been depressed, I've never been able to be happy no matter what went on. Making honor roll, having boyfriends, nothing. I had a lot of friends then when i hit highschool i got sick of everything. I began to realize that ppl suck. I was always picked on but hey, most teens are. But for some reason i can't handle this torment at all. I do want to become a writer u know and go to college but w/ things going on at school i just wanna die. I'm a cutter, thats what i do... i cut myself. I've taken pills before but they never seem to have any effect on me. Though i think tonight i'll try again. I just want to die but then i'm afraid to depress my mom, dad, and brother. But i'm not happy. I think it's just time to die. Too many bad things for me to begin to handle, especially alone.|
|18 Oct 2003||Tiffany||I just found this site a few days ago and really felt close to the people responding to it. Chris is an excellent writer and Leanne sounds like a very good friend. As for the others who write very little, I hope I can help in some way. My little brother committed suicide last year. He will now be forever 18. It was the worst experience of my life. He dies every day in my mind and there is nothing I can do to help him. I also tried suicide twice, once at 15 and another time at 16. I was such a screw up I could not even succeed at that. I somehow made it through that with the help of my friends. I am now older and very thankful I screwed up my suicide attempts. My life changed so much that thinking of taking my own life now would never be an option. My family background is pretty screwed up too. My father just died in May from Alcoholism. And since my father was both mentally and physically abusive, my mom decided she would just be mentally abusive. Please email me if you want to talk about anything. I have a lot of experience with suicide.......|
|18 Oct 2003||Bobie||Jump off your back deck, make sure there are sharp rocks!|