|Reading these suicide pages you will find people seeking help and people offering their help. Some witness about suicide from real life experience, others who play along with me would pretend it's a children's game. Some make sick and cruel jokes about it, and angry people blame me for even mentioning the subject. You might also want to read my favourite answers. If you want your answer to be included here, fill in the form.|
What is the best way to kill yourself when you're under 13?
Quelle est la meilleure forme de suicide pour les moins de 13 ans?
|20 Sep 2003||Phil||Why am I still here Steve? Well, why is anyone still here, posting on the suicide kit?
I have my reasons for being alive still, and they are nothing to do with this website at all. I do have a life, even if it's not much of one. I have been suicidal for a while and soon, let's just say soon, I may be dead. I think it's ok for me to post here still in my days before my demise. Lucy Cortina is dead, at least in name. I have to go now cos Beyonce is on the TV, shaking her...um....
Yes Steve, I'm gay, but have some strange obsession with breasts. I don't actually understand the point of them - they're so soft and gooshy and just lie there, doing nothing.
And yes gay punk, I may have been posting as someone before, lets just say. My boyfriend has changed his name now though, so don't worry about that ;)
And Naomi, we do care, more than you could imagine.
|20 Sep 2003||Steve||Wow, I was just having some intense thought and reflecting on things and for the first time I actually accepted the fact that "I have to commit suicide". Deep down I'm reluctant and I'd prefer not to die of my own doing. However, it's becoming more clear that perhaps there's no way for me to appreciate life in its current form... and my urge to commit suicide seems to have a mind of its own. I can try to stop it, but it keeps on coming.
Still, I don't know when or if I'll end up doing it. Tomorrow? Next month? Three years from now? It's not something I can predict, but from experience, whenever my mind becomes set on something serious, I usually end up doing it soon after and with little preparation, so I'm prepared to go at any time. I don't know what the afterlife will be like..... assuming there even is one, but I sure hope it wouldn't be something I'd be made to regret entering. As for my prospective weapon, I think I'll use various pills, mainly Tylenol #3's with a strong alcoholic beverage.... if that'll even work.
I should still be around for a while at least (well, possibly)... but I'm afraid my fate may be sealed. I hope not, but it's not something I can control.
|20 Sep 2003||Steve||Ugh, I hate my fucking worthless life now more than ever. All I can count on everyday is more pain and the seething anger and depression that results from it. I've become morbidly obsessed with death, especially that of myself. This has to end soon, somehow.
Sometimes I'm even in disbelief at how low I've sunk, but it's beyond my control. Whenever I see happy people whom I perceive as having it better than me, I simply desire to hurt them. I want them to feel pain like I've felt for so long and continue to feel everyday to no end. I know at least one way to make it end though, and it's a prospect that seems to be growing stronger everyday.
|20 Sep 2003||will||ummm, im now at that point in my life, where i cant go on anymore. i just cant go on for anyone. im just sick of my existence. i have felt that desperate, i was willing to try anything. so i wont be here soon, and i will be finally at peace. arrgghh fuck, a ruddy great big spider ran across the curtain.|
|19 Sep 2003||the gay punk||hey, phil, are you PC me, coz the guy's name is phil too and he's gay (soooorry for being dumb).|
|19 Sep 2003||Felicia||True useful facts:
1.) The majority of the world uses and abuses some type of drug. The number one drug in this world that is used most is caffeine. Not to forget, its legal.
2.) Suicides result from the impact of heartbreak and grief. Some people believe that it is all in ones head. No its not! Suicide is caused by the result of unexplained circumstances beyond somebodys control. It can be chemically and mentally induced. The best prevention against suicide is to communicate.
3.) In the world today, most crimes are caused by misunderstandings that often involve conflict of religions or strong beliefs.
4.) Prejudice is a preconceived idea that leads to hatred. The same goes for discrimination and bigotry.
5.) It confuses me that some religions tolerate some notion of living in peace with one another and later turn around stoning somebody because they were different. This does not portray love and obedience in making things right under their gods eyes. Its manipulation.
6.) Its a fact that what goes around comes around happens constantly. If you have revenge on someone, it comes back threefold. Later down the road you say to yourself that pay back is indeed a bitch and that is not good.
7.) Never manipulate or force anybody to love you. If they chose to leave, it is their will and decision. If you try to manipulate and force anybody into loving you against their will, it can only lead to one outcome and that would be a recipe for disaster, along with a restraining order.
8.) Loneliness can only be resolved by mingling with others, such as going outside to see the world, even if it is your own front or backyard. If you are mad at the world and see an injustice, dont sit there and complain. Do something about it! Just make sure that it is not manifested into violence. Learn when to draw the line.
9.) If something hurts so much to the point that you are pining over it, get out of the situation. It would be like prodding your finger on a rusted nail and doing it ten more times, while you are screaming that it still hurts. Some people mutilate themselves for a living doing this. Bad gets to worst, make it a goal to be a stunt man or stuntwoman. You might as well get paid for it!
...Snuff boy and snuff girls, please leave yourselves out of this. This is a website to prevent suicide, not condone such behavior.
10.) Live like there is no tomorrow because today is the first day of the rest of your life.
|19 Sep 2003||Felicia, The Full Monty||Malicious violence in this world is much too common. Angry people run amok and there is no way to stop them. I believe mouchette.org is for the common folk that want to find out the true meaning of life before ending it. Please, my dear people, ease on my friend "Lucy Cortina". "She's" the best that ever is and did save my life at one time. Folks, whether or not you believe that she is unreal, so be it. Her (or His) infectious humor has made the mouchette.org world laugh even if he or she tries not to be funny.
And "Lucy", no matter how tiring it is to be a true comedian, you are in fact a true original. (MAKE NOTE OF IT!) Don't change and keep those boob and Kylie Minogue jokes intact.
For Billy The Freak, my burly haired man, I want you to bring on the fun like you used to and make the world smile as always. I know who you are, and will keep it a secret between you and me, as far as my breasts are concerned (No kidding, the last time I looked, they were real!)
Anyways, Thanks Lucy for the "Boob implants!"
|19 Sep 2003||Steve||I was curious, so I had to look up the word "pap" after reading your message. Another breast reference, how fitting. Thanks for the response though, if anything there's a slight comfort in knowing I'm not just talking to myself here.
Ok Phil, so was the part about you going off to commit suicide part of the story, because you're still here. I figure I don't have too much longer to go. Well, sometimes I'm not sure if I'll ever commit suicide at all, but my suicidal tendencies swing like a pendulum: I'll think I absolutely have to kill myself and then the urge will disappear for a while, and then it will come back with even more strength, and all the while, the space in between urges is getting less and less lengthy. Some day in the not-so-distant future (could be days, could be months, maybe even years) I'll probably finally become fully set on killing myself and go through with it right then and there. I'm feeling kind of scared and anxious right now, because after weeks of not having any strong urges, I feel as though I'm entering into a really suicidal state again and I may not make it through this time around.
It's unfortunate really. If I were speaking in my position a year ago, I'd have a great self-esteem, high hopes and no suicidal tendencies, but I feel completely different now. I feel as though my existence is a joke and I'm running out of reasons to continue. I'd love to go back to the mindset I had a year ago... perhaps I was ignorant... perhaps things were simply better... but I'm afraid I never can. Something in my mind clicked and ever since then I've been spiraling downward with no control.
|19 Sep 2003||Steven||ALL YOU PEOPLE ACT LIKE SUICIDE IS A JOKE.!!!!!!, I know it's not, getting the courage to walk to the edge of a bridge and leap is hard no matter how hard life gets dieing is the hardest. I'm not thirteen I'm sixteen and i feel that life hurts too much. The only thing that scares me of death is the wondering if god really exists and if so how i will be treated. It's not fair that my life is shitty and the only way out is a sin. It's not fair that in order to fix the few things i hate i must die. Being sixteen and having the life i have is not fair, i know there are probaly umpfteen thousand people who have it worser than I do, but the strain it mentally and physically puts on me is unfair, some may say boo who stop crying but you try being an overweight bastard who nobody loves not even your parents who try to get rid of you or at least keep you out of there hair. And being "seperated" not divorced "never married" one having 10 back surgeries and lives 30 miles away, and the other who bitches about his own life every fucking chance. Everybody in school just a tad cooler than me making me a loser. I have my friends but it seems like they use me every chance they get. I'm just a toy, with no feelings, like I'm someone that can listen to you but when I need help nobody cares. I hate that i'm poor no car, I live 1 hour 30 min. walk from the slightest bit of anyone i know with civilization 2 hour 30min away. I'm sick of living in a shit hole where a new thing breaks down a day. I fucking hate it. Some say be thankful for what you have why be thankful for life when it sucks us or my health i'm sick like every month with a damn cold, once again im 100 pds overweight the only i look halfway decent is i'm muscular so i look like a buff football player with a beer gut. I'm a gothic punk person who everybody but my 10 friends hate... there are 2,700 kids in my school 10 sucks. You make suicide seem like a joke when it seems like the best thing for me yet i can't cause i dont want to burn or not exist for the rest of eternity|
|18 Sep 2003||naomi mikamura||dear "just a girl" and "lucy",
i wanna commit suicide cuz..... welll..... when i was born my dad died of something, and my frustrated mom who couldn't hold things together abandoned me and my brother masami. after that i got drafted into the military in kyoto, japan... now im a bodyguard... i can't tell u who but the motto here is "u protect the host with your life, or we will kill u instead"... to someone who wants to kill themselves, this is like "heaven"... but where i am... it's serious HELL!!! u get raped and ruthlessly beaten up daily... and u can't let anyone who tries to help you out, will get killed... then they'll kill u too! that's why i'm not telling anyone where i am... i don't want anymore people getting killed... besides... u probably dont believe me anyway... no one ever does... that's why im still here... cuz no one cares... so i really wouldn't be surprised if u didn't care... i don't know where my brother is... anyway... that's why i hate this fucked up world... cuz here in kyoto... doing this kinda stuff... ISN'T AGAINST THE LAW!!!!!!
at the tip of the most deadly assault weapons imaginable,
|18 Sep 2003||naomi mikamura's back! unfortunatly...||...i feel... like its been... a long time... since... ANYONE... ever really cared.. .about me...? its like nobody cares... what i have to say...? its like im an invisible nobody... what do i do... nobody to go to...talk to... why is life do this to me... why do people do this to me...? they enjoy tormenting me like this...|
|18 Sep 2003||ronwelthy||hey that's me again, the old ronwelthy, with his weird idea about the meaning of life, well to be true there is no meaning, you just have events who evolve in worst situation. It's like what we learn in philosophy about time, It began whith the Eden garden to finish with the detonations of bomb and the fire of hell. I just say this because I want to get recognition, and even if I am happy to be alive. My only problems is that I always live in my own dreams, imagining stories where I am a hero and I save an innocent girl called Aline, and you could not imagine how frustrated you are when you see her because you know she will never be lying on your side.
Well I know I am just writing about shit, and you don't care about the feelings of a poor little teenager lost in the big world. Well if you want to know more about me you will have to wait
I am almost at the bridge, gotta go now..
If you want to know what happened next just listen to the song Stan....
|18 Sep 2003||Phil||Steve, darling, don't talk pap. I found this site in the same way as yourself, but soon realised that, on closer inspection, the suicide kit was in fact a crazy, everything-allowed, um... story.
Look up "suicide kit" in your dictionary of choice, and hey presto, what do you find? Nothing! There is no definition to it.
I think that may be the whole point of it...?
|18 Sep 2003||will||what the FUCK steve!!!!|
|18 Sep 2003||Hurricane death||life after death, I'm not of a certain religion, so what comes next?
PS: what is the best way to die in a hurricane?
|18 Sep 2003||will||yesterday i went to a church service (under protest of course). i have never been so scared. i refused to go to the altar. someone asked me to go up. i got the words out wrong. hmmm, i get everything out wrong. but i eventually said "i'm too nervous". i always think of suicide in a church. i know, i'm weird!|
|18 Sep 2003||Steve||Chris, sorry, but your reply is of no use. Everyone's seen that stupid "If the population of the world were 100" study and it has no bearing on the way anyone thinks. Saying "Fuck like there's no tomorrow" doesn't make anyone feel good either, let alone motivate them to actually get out and do it. Really, if someone has the urge to commit suicide, the last person who's going to stop them is some good samaritan who's just telling them to be more care-free and let things go.
This is one of the weirdest sites I've ever seen by the way. There's someone named Lucy (who most of you seem to be acquainted with for some odd reason) who talks about having big breasts, and then within the same post breaks down and says their name is really Phil and their identity has been a hoax. Then they say they're about to kill themself after visiting this site for x months. Well, given the fact that they seemed to have no problem creating and roleplaying a flamboyant identity for so long, I'd wonder if they're even telling the truth about their intended actions. Best of wishes to them anyhow.
I'm writing this and I have the topic line: "What is the best way to kill yourself when you're under 13?" staring me in the face and yet I haven't been writing messages in response to that question, nor have most other people. This ultimately just adds to the weirdness of the site, because the conception that people below 13 really even consider about suicide is ridiculous in itself, and no one seems interested in discussing such a strange topic. Perhaps I'm wrong, but this just seems more like a suicide discussion area. However, that description doesn't even fit sometimes, because there are all sorts of people jumping in with weird, irrelevant stories that look as if they were pasted straight out of a novel or something and have little or nothing to do with suicide.
Where am I going with this? Well, I'm curious to find out what some people here are thinking when they come in to post messages. Did they just wake up one morning and think "Hey, you know what, I'm going to look for a suicide page on the internet and paste some sort of fable onto their boards. That certainly won't bore or confuse any of the readers!" or perhaps "I'm going to find a suicide page on the internet and roleplay a woman with large breasts and talk about all my hilarious mishaps. That'll be right on topic." I'd just like to know, because I came here after doing a google search to look into suicide methods to see what methods might be bearable if I were to make the final decision to actually go through with it.
|17 Sep 2003||Phil||Vive le faggots, lol :)
I'm glad there is still some sanity left in the suicide kit, and my dear friends are all still here.
If I die, wish me luck. If I don't, well, wish me luck too!
|17 Sep 2003||the gay punk||Lucy (or Phil) !!!!
i know it's like so fucking late of me to be here to say whatever i want to say, (i had a "female problem") but
a) i can only dream about being like you
b) you're an inspiration to all of us, even though you might die or anything, you stayed on long enough, which is better than i can do
d) you will be missed
lucy, or phil, you are a goddess, and i'll kick Mother Mary's ass for you, or i'll do it for myself, because i never really liked her.
shit. i'm basicallly fucking blanking out right now. meerrrrr. i don't like being gay, but being gay is not a choice, vive le faggots. and nomed, FUCK YOU
|17 Sep 2003||Felicia Helping You With Your Troubles||If "Life" Is a "Movie", "Be" the "Star"
There I was, sitting in a dark room contemplating suicide. I couldn't breathe right; neither did I have the power to eat because I felt that life was too overwhelming. Because I was afraid to enjoy life and its unfair existence, I felt that I was no longer a part of this world. On days, I watched the sun shine, the birds sing, groups of kids going to and fro school laughing together, people riding by on horseback, and lovers walking together hand in hand. Having been withdrawn from the world with its turmoils in my head like Anne Frank in the "Diary of Ann Frank", I failed to experience how wonderful life would be in the outside.
Then one day I just had to let go of my wallowing self-pity to get on with enjoying life. I didn't want to be the girl not trying out for the cheerleading squad and watching the girls auditioning in the sidelines. I tried my darnest to get involve in school play auditions and felt so afraid in not getting the lead role, but I was trying. Even if I had to be a Tree Stump or the back of a Donkey's ass I would consider it and later add some limerick in the script and be the life of the show, Success and failure are so entwined with life that in order to experience one, you will inevitable experience the other.
Today, instead of watching life like an audience at a movie playing the leading role, dive in and be the star. If you're too afraid of failure and keep contemplating suicide, you'll never allow yourself to succeed.
The best revenge in life is to succeed. Though I am not going to tell you to gloat either. Save it for the prudes that befuddle you with fruits and tomatoes, get a net or ball shooter and aim it right back at them.
For all you know you can conjure up some "Catsup" recipe and be famous.