|Reading these suicide pages you will find people seeking help and people offering their help. Some witness about suicide from real life experience, others who play along with me would pretend it's a children's game. Some make sick and cruel jokes about it, and angry people blame me for even mentioning the subject. You might also want to read my favourite answers. If you want your answer to be included here, fill in the form.|
What is the best way to kill yourself when you're under 13?
Quelle est la meilleure forme de suicide pour les moins de 13 ans?
|09 Jul 2004||Mortician's Bread/Butter||People tend to start this form out by stating their age and other useless information... I won't be doing that because it doesn't matter. Either way I'll be dead soon and that realization actually has me in a peaceful state of mind.
I vaguely remember a me that had hopes and dreams, aspirations if you will. It's been so long I can't even remember what those dreams were. Funny huh? Well, those are gone now. So gone. Little by little I've gotten to the point where I don't care. Before it was my family that kept me alive, now it doesn't even matter. I don't have anything I feel is worth living for. Not a career, not my family, not even the prospect of future happiness.
I guess you could say I've become numb to these sort of notions. Lately, the only thing that can get any sort of reaction out of me is Death.
I think I was just born an unhappy child. I've been trying to destroy myself for as long as I can remember. I've been cutting away at my skin, layer by layer, since I was 12. However, my happiest memory of self mutilation was before that, when I 9. I liked the feel of getting burned even then and my momma had the iron out... well, basically I put the hot iron on my foot. To this day my parents think that was an accident. Then came the cigarettes. I've never used an ashtray and never will. It's much easier to put it out on your arms or legs. However, my father doesn't share the same opinion so I don't smoke with him anymore.
So I guess you could say I like pain. It feels nice, and theres some sort of satisfaction in seeing the wound heal. Anyway, that used to get me through the day as well, but even that has lost it's flavor.
Well, seeing as I ended up talking about myself I will answer the questions at hand: What's the best way to kill yourself(at any age)? Take enough Coricidan C (over-the-counter cold medicine) to numb yourself out, back it up with the cheapest bottle of scotch you can find and after that kicks in your good to go. This will enable you to get the cojones to attempt suicide and at the same time you will feel nothing. Try cutting your veins, you won't feel a thing. Or jump from the tallest building you can find, that'll work. As for me, I'm going to numb myself out, put on my prettiest dress, jump in the pool, and cut my veins.
I wish I could see it from a third person point of view. I wish I could watch myself bleed to death. What a pretty sight that would be. A pale figure floating on ice water, looking up at the sky as if waiting for redemption. The blue slowly turning red as I bleed to death. It's a very comforting image. Well, that's all I really want to say except, there are those who where born to fight all their lives because they feel that they may be able to accomplish something worthwhile in this world. There are those who live life because they don't know what else to do, because it's what's expected of them. Then there's me: A soul who was born weary of life, who doesn't see the possibilities or the "good" in the future. Someone who can't fight the good fight because all she sees is a bleak existence and pain... lots of it. It's the type of person who can handle all the physical pain in the world, but none of the mental anguish.
|09 Jul 2004||Sunshine||You shouldn't wanna harm yourself, think of the positive things in life.|
|09 Jul 2004||This is bad.||I was/am a cutter. My friends have convinced me to stop and its hard but i'm workin on it and i'm doin good and it's all thanks to them. Killing yourself is bad and i don't think having an internet site about how to do it should be allowed. This site should be stopped and banned, it's nonsense!|
|09 Jul 2004||Megan||You could always jump off a really tall building on to pavement..Not so bad about a second after you hit..Or off the empire state building..You die in the air! Whoa! Then people wont think you commited suicide..You coulda slipped! :0|
|09 Jul 2004||Mackenzie||JUMP OFF THE FUCKING BRIDGE ABOVE THE GENESEE RIVER! OH YEAH YEPP YOUR GONE!:)|
|09 Jul 2004||Meg--Mackenzie's friend||The simple answer..drown yourself its quick...One breath full of damn water and your gone!|
|09 Jul 2004||Lil mike||To Angel of Darkness: I stumbled upon this site by pure accident. I read your post earlier in the day and couldn't forget you.. or any of the others. So I had to come back and post to you.. first. I hope I can post to others later. But since yours was the first post i read i will post to you first.And because you have found your calling and dont realize it. Someone relies on you.Wakes up looking forward to seeing you..needs to see you each day. And even says thank God for you.You have found a reason to live because you are special to someone. My parents devorced when i was about 3.I was blessed by getting a saint for a step dad. But when I went to visit my dad it was Hell. Not like any of you went through. At all. Just fighting for my dad through the step mom..step brothers and half sister. My dad always took up for them. Of course.. he had to live with her. But theres alot of pain i still carry for it.But none like all of you feel.When i finally moved with my dad at the age of 14,I only lived there 3 years before he wanted to charge me rent because he was trying to get rent from my step brother who was 21 still living at home.Of course if you go after the step son you have to do the same to your own son. Bull.I moved out.Finally I got my own place and married my high school sweetheart.We have been dating since we were sophmores.Angel of Death.. dont let me loose you with all that yet. I'm getting to what I wanted to tell you. We now have a son who is 17, a senior in high school.He is a god kid. Anyway, I was always raised to help others. And I have tried to do that.And we have taught our son that. About 7 years ago my wife learned that there were 2 kids homes in our small town (pop of about 12,000)small for me since my mom took us to cal when they divorced.It was at Christmas and I'll never forget her crying and saying I dont want anything but to help those kids.Let me side step for a minute. 11 years ago I owned 2 houses a machine shop and built storage buildings in our town. No.. I'm not rich. If one person stopped a months payment we would be in big trouble.Our neibors at the time were not a good influence on my son. So we started looking for a new home. We found a house with 4 acres. When I say it i asked God that if he would let me be able to purchase it I would share it with all the kids that needed love. God answered my prayers. We have helped the kids homes all these years. They are all like you all.They have been abussed,sexually, mentally and phisically. Taken from theirs homes for those reasons. Kids just like you.We love them all so much. We have them over fishing in our pond, took them to a local Country music show where they had a blast, and have even rebuilt a Merry go Round for them at the home. What I'm getting at is this.. ANGEL OF DEATH... You can be ANGEL OF LIFE to that one kid, no more than that one kid... many more. Maybe your calling is to work with kids like you...to comfort them, hug them when they are crying. You know thier pain. Who better to help others send than someone that knows the all the pain first hand. GOD WORKS IN MISTERIOUS WAYS!!!!. I know. Because I am helping kids like you in my area...AND I LOVE THEM AND I Love YOU!!AND I CARE... ABOUT ALL OF YOU.!!! I had to stop typing and cry.. No.. I'm no fake.. I'm not bull shit!!!I do care. We were all created for a purpose.. I know mine. To help kids like you. No I'm not one of those councelers, they are just college kids trying to make a grade. Yeah.. I told you I know the system.But I'm not one of them.Angel of death...You can make a difference in the world...in kids lifes. You have felt it in that one feeling you got when that boy said Thank God you are there everydaY...Please... look at this as a chance in life. Real life. I think you have a great oppertunity to help others thru your life.TAKE THE CHANCE.. Help others, its an awesome feeling. I LOVE life. I thank GOD every day for it.And for the chance to help others like you.You are a caring person.. I can tell from your post. What do you want to do with your life?... End it... Or help others who are in the same pain. I read whre you all are cutters to ease the pain... Try reaching out to others that feel the same way to help them to live... not die. THAT EASIES MY PAIN. Try it. Ibeg you all... Try it first. Listen to each other. Help and be there for each other to support each other.
ANGEL OF DARKNESS... help keep others alive....Please. dont let others die... tell them what you have felt. Enough preaching to you all... I will not give up on kids like you...dont give in to all that hurts you.Help others. Angel of death.. I hope you change your name to ANGEL OF LIFE. Help other kids like you. The feeling is better than death.. or bleeding.I promise.Thats how i heal myself of the pain. If you are interested in talking to me angel.. I will give you my email then..Angel... YOU CAN MAKE A DIFFERENCE!!! I know you have been through alot.. But use it to help others. Its a feeling I cant discribe. TRULIE.Believe me. Post again.. I PROMISE I will reply. Lets teach others how to treat and love each other as Gods children. Please reply to me.I'll watch for your reply. They call me Lil Mike since my step brother that I loved was named Mike and he was Big Mike. He passed away 2 years ago. They say it was Pneumonia. That was just to throw family off. He was lonely and did drugs to fill the loneliness. I'll be thinking of you Angel... Pleas post..
|09 Jul 2004||stephness||Continue living to when u are 16... to prove the help desks wrong.. 24 hours of thinking... hasnt changed my mind as much as it has for the last 4 years..
the best way to die... is to be dead... so... why are you still alive? ...why am i still alive?... coz even in death my soul will live but be unheard... unseen... the best way to die?.... you r already dead.. no one sees u.. no one hears you.. nobody knows u any more... you are as dead as u were bearthing to start of with ... to die any more.. is to have never existed.. the best way to kill yourself... is to go on breathing as some one else.. coz ..really .. u died a long time ago... when your hopes and dreams and happyness died within u.. no rope.. no pills... no blades.. no injuries... the most brutal is the scars and pain that they dont see.. that has killed u already... your crying songs.. your dying breathe... to be close would be to die with u.. can u tell my secrets? you've hidden yours well.
|09 Jul 2004||Kiki||I am not under 13 but i know how you feel. I have been depressed since about 4. people dont like me and with every mean comment i drown. it hurts so bad inside. I want to die but i hesistate because I have worked to hard tto give it up. Well im kinda smart and i have worked hard to ecome a good dancer since i was 8. I love dance but everything else hurts. i dont even like school. I used to cut but i stopped out of fear that someone else would find out. i didn't want to give all that i earned up because i got put in an institution. One day i was os sad, i couldn't stop crying. i had heard that one could overdose on iron. i ran to the cabinent and grabbed the bottle of flintstone vitamins. i started to take them when my friend came to the door and just made me happy. he is the only perrson who can make me happy. I wish he loved me back. he causes me so much pain. thats my story|
|08 Jul 2004||suicideincandyland||take every pill you can find and then slit your wrist|
|08 Jul 2004||lost||i hate life and every thing about it. my parents dont give me my space and i cut myself and my parents freak. i hate them all and i hate the world.|
|08 Jul 2004||fuckingdickhead arsehole cockidiotbitch dickfucking dtoitretardb||I truly wish someone could help me with this...
In a way they do, and for that i thank mouchette and her sight... but as one person I talk with said they can only help me as much as they can, they can't stop the world from turning around.
I don't know why I am writing this, to tell the truth. These past few days have been hard and there's something I need to get off my chest.. i don't know.
I was never close to my father... he's three-to-four times my age (I'm seventeen), and when I grew up he seemed so old and out of touch with the world that we never became close. I have so many perfect brothers and sisters anyway. But recently he has tried to help me so much. I love him. I don't care. He offers to pay for things that he doesn't believe in, he fakes interest in my school work just to help me along, he really tries and to me that's what counts. That counts more than anything else in the world. It doesn't matter that he's out of touch. I love him and we are truly 'friends' dispite all the fucked things that I've done. But that bring me to the worst thing. I've recently stolen his c.c. detail and I spent so much money over the net... I don't even know why I did it.. I just did. And then I did it again. And again, and again and again. I know all the love and trust that we have built up will be destroyed, just by this one thing. No, I take that back, because it's not just 'one' thing.. man, i don't know why, but I seem to fuck up every time. And every time I think that somehow I'm smarter or "better" than I was before.. of course, I'm not, i don't even need to add that really. You know all the things I mean; doing drugs, hanging wiht the cool people, all that crap. And now just at hte point when I begining to realise how truly valuable the few things I have left really are I go and fuck it up completely again. What THE FUCK is wrong with me?! I feel tear burning at my eyes, not out of self pity, but for the one truly beutiful thing I have and the fact I'm going to lose it.
I have to run away, but that will hurt him even more. I don't know what to do... I wish.. i don't know. I truly wish I had some idea of what to do, but I know it's only time before he finds out and then I'll have to run and leave forever, and I know in my heart that once I do that I'll never come back.
Damnit, I don't mean to sound so fucking melodramtic, it's just for me personally depression and everything didn't matter when I didn't have anything to lose. But now I do it's a billion times worse than I've ever imagined. It's like nothing else I've known... I don't know. Sometimes the right words just don't come.
|08 Jul 2004||Mackenzie||The best way to kill yourself it shoot yourself! Stick the barrel of a 22 in your mouth and pull the damn trigger! And your gone!|
|08 Jul 2004||fuck all the ppl who think suicide is selfish!!!||In my opinion the best way to commit suicide (I tried it several times) is to swallow those nice small white or red sleeping pills. Go in two different dispensaries and buy two small parcels of tablets.
Then go home, drink a pint of Palm (note: Palm is one of the best Belgium beers), so they'll go faster down. Then carry a few glasses of water to your bed and begin to swallow until all the pills are hidden in your stomach. Then lay down and wait till you fall asleep. When your eyes close, you know that everything is over and that you rest in peace if nobody brings you to the hospital the next hours! it doesn't hurt 1 bit!
|08 Jul 2004||angel of darkness||im 13 years as i write this, but when anyone reads this ill be 14. when some people think about their b-day---a party starts to form in their head. thats only some. for me- when i saw my b-day on the calender i thought- 'oh great, another shitty year come and gone'. for how long ive been thinking this--well i really dont know. there may only be 13 years under my belt--but i still know more of some things than others. well let me tell you why im writing all this. when i was-oh about 3 years- my parents divorced after countless fights and arguments. my mom had full custody of me--my dad was an alcoholic/drugie. one day- i think it was close to christmas- mom said i ws never going to see her again- boy she was right. she put me up for adoption. my life has been hell ever since. some old lady adopted me. all she ever did was sleep, eat and yell. then one day she brought me to the store- i was about 5 or so- she left me for a while in the toy aisle. then this guy came up to me-took me outside and- oh i bet you can guess what happens next- he raped me in his car. he brought me to a local orphanage and said he found me on the streets. a few weeks later this fairly rich lady adopts me. i had the time of my life with her- until she got married to this drugged up fucking son of a bitch. whenever she would go out he would make me his 'slave for a day'. if i didnt do something right- he hit me- whether it be with the back of his hand or a baseball bat. after about 2 years the chic puts me up for adoption. then another old lady adopts me. i live with her until she dies- then i go live with her son who has a wife and 2 snot assed kids. i became socially isolated at the age of 8. ive lived with this family until about a year ago. although these last few years have been better than usual, the pain wont go away. 2 years ago is when i joined the unfortunate cutters society. everyday i would take a knife and dig it into my skin until it bled. why do you ask? because i need to feel the scream inside of me-i need to see the blood drop to the floor. one day i just decided to die. i wrote a note in which it said that i was sorry for leaving if anyone truly cared and that i slit my wrists. of course- the one min. out of the years that someone comes into my room just has to be then. they rush me to the ER. i was in there for a few months while i recovered. i did that 1 more time. the other 2 times i slit my throat and stabbed myself in the stomach. each time someone found me before i could die. now i write to you in a psychiatric ward. here i get to talk to a counsellor 2 times a day. im able to talk to the people here cause they know what its all like. and after about a month here ive been thinking. after 4 times or so of trying to kill myself- something much more powerful and mysterious has kept me here. why? i dont know. but i have found out that everyone has some sort of purpose- small or big. like this one very scared (of everything) boy down the hall tells me almost everytime i see him- everyday i thank god that youre there for me to talk to- and honestly it brings tears to my eyes after thinking about how much i can help him. that small of a thing is my purpose for now. and maybe one day all of humanity can find the inner peace that some have already found. life is a constant adventure that will never end. i hope none of you go through the shit i did. and if you do- just remember that there's always someone else in your corner too.|
|07 Jul 2004||Flamer||Hello angry person, you wrote on Mouchette's suicide page,
"i am sure this will draw flames from ppl but i really dont care. just do it! if you really want to kill yourself you wont come here and whine about it, in fact you probably wont tell anyone at all in fear that they will stop you. so get off the computer find a rope a knife a gun and just do it. you dont even need a knife, gun, etc. if u want to kill urself bad enough run as hard as you can head first into a wall. in fact encourage others to do it as well you won't miss them as you are gonna be dead too. all your friends and family will say "o what could we have done different" for a few weeks, then when the initial shock is over they will think, if not say aloud, "what a fucking moron". but hey its your life and who cares what they think. you are the master of your own destiny, if death is all you aim for then i suggest you set your standards a little higher and stop being such a whiny little bitch, make something of yourself. know that u have faced hard times and overcome. but if you just cant handle life *cough* pussy *cough* then by all means oft yourself. this applies to all 8-80, blind, crippled, or crazy. good luck whatever you decide."
Congratulations, genius, you've somehow managed to figure out that suicidal people who seek help don't really want to die. Wow, you must really have a thorough understanding of suicidal people. Or no, wait a minute, am I wrong about that? Actually, I think I got it backwards, you don't understand a damn thing about suicide. You don't understand how suicidal people feel, or why they act the way they do. Instead you bitch about it. Ironically, your suggestion to suicidal people is to die or stop bitching about it. Why don't YOU shut the fuck up and stop bitching about suicidal people bitching. You don't like suicidal people, tough shit loser, suicidal behaviour is something you don't understand. You don't know what the fuck you're talking about, so FUCK YOU!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
|07 Jul 2004||AlreadyDead||Get naked, lay on the ground and pretend that you're a boat in the middle of the ocean while large whales are trying to attack you. After a while you'll realize how miserable you are and later you'll commit suicide so easily, smoothly like nobody before.
Good luck !
|07 Jul 2004||Will Someone have the balls to kill themself already!||I am tired to listening to you fucks complain about your shity lives. Please go through with it and have someone post the pics on this web..now that's worth reading about!|
|07 Jul 2004||kill your self 420||run it to a wall and try to kill ur self and have ur mouth open!|
|06 Jul 2004||subhomoy dasgupta||I am a man of 31 years who wants to commit suicide, but the method must be a full proof one so that no mistake remains. That's why I'm trying to seek guidance from somewhere I'll be able to keep the privacy.|