|Reading these suicide pages you will find people seeking help and people offering their help. Some witness about suicide from real life experience, others who play along with me would pretend it's a children's game. Some make sick and cruel jokes about it, and angry people blame me for even mentioning the subject. You might also want to read my favourite answers. If you want your answer to be included here, fill in the form.|
What is the best way to kill yourself when you're under 13?
Quelle est la meilleure forme de suicide pour les moins de 13 ans?
|30 Apr 2003||Felicia - Your advising Angel||Dear Ender Wiggen,
Thats no problem. Im glad you had the chance to stop by. I guess you read a few of my posts and realized that I gave more than my fair share of advice. If not, then you probably read through some funnier material in the favorites section of the Mouchette boards involving Lucy Cortina and Billy the Freak. But for you to come here for some suggestions, I am going to lend a pair of open eyes seriously.
When you feel pent up it is always best to talk to a stranger. Especially the ones who have experienced your situation.
Its ironic at times. It seems that psychiatric help is just going to meeting sessions and pouring out your heart. Then you pay the listeners for listening to you and they give you medication for it. One or two hour sessions are not enough to eliminate your pain. Now I am not saying that psychiatric help is hopeless, I do agree that it is alright to have therapy, but you need to be picky by going to a trusted professional with great credentials. The same goes for looking for a great mechanic. Chose your helpers wisely and remember not to always give handouts to those who hunger for your loose change sad to say, its not always the homeless that ask for handouts or value meals.
Dont down yourself out in being a geek. I think geeks are cool. Many beautiful men and women like the sophisticated smart types. Sci-Fi games and science looked down by "normal" or "cool people"? I know of a drug dealer who loves to watch Star Trek, Star Wars, and Quantum Leap. He also plays Dungeons and Dragons for all hours of the night, and is still a bit of a shady character. His friends consider him cool and normal. As for me, I think he is a narcissistic sociopath with a cool smart guy appearance? I once dated him and he broke up with me because I was like a sheep to him. He changed his name to Scott. (Apologies to Scott Bakula) I have a nickname for him.... Scott Evil.
My suggestion though. Dont get evil. Its the silent, smart types that worry me.
And the people that scoff at you for being a typecast geek. Tell them they have issues that they should tend to themselves and to M.T.O.B. Some people never take the time to gather their thoughts and throw judgment to others and themselves way too quickly.
Drugs, even prescribed, can sometimes be hazardous to our system, even if it starts to makeone feel good. The main cure for all these disorders is exercise, eating well, and running with the dog on the beach (Well, thats only if you have a dog.). If you are sitting in front of a computer terminal too long, blood starts to coagulate; you lose brain function through blood loss and have a tendency to get really depressed.
The blood and your engine need to get moving. Endorphins, nature's natural drug can do wonders every time. I swim in the pool every morning and run. My therapist gives back rubs and great tips on health. Okay, so it sounds expensive, but you can run for free and it doesnt cost a dime, except for the expensive pair of Nike Running shoes and sore muscles. Honestly, they are cheaper than prescriptions.
Stay away from the placebos and use them as decoration in the office cube. If a fellow office workercomes about and is curious about them, have them take a few, and tell them to come back for more if there are no results.
Dont consider that your friends that never contact you are unkind. Friends are really hard to find nowadays. Hmmm Sounds like a Karen Carpenter song. Well if your friends never returned your calls just consider it their loss and concentrate on you.Perhaps they have issues to deal with and are too involved with other new things in their lives. Make new friends because you cannot have too many friends in this world.
Its only natural that it takes time to get to know people. That proves that you are not fake. Getting to know people is very wise in the health department and money smart. Just a note, if you first meet someone, such as a blind date, and they try to borrow money from you right away from them flee flee... far away.
I worked for a large company too and got laid off. Dont blame it on yourself that the economy is bad.
The economy is bad, period. I decided to go for freelance writing and getting published and doing part time work here and there. The only way you can make it big is buying stock (which I dont think is wise right now) or thinking up an invention or a song lyric that comes to your mind. Look at some of the groups nowadays. They write musical lyrics with depressing words in it, and later, it becomes a big hit. Dont ever think that you are not musically inclined. At 34 going on 14, I am thinking about taking piano lessons.
My friend you are not alone in this world of woes. It seems that suffering is an ongoing process which never stops. I for one can understand that even if you are succeeding, something always steps in the way. Just now I got a rejection note from a part time job in the mail. And a rejection note from a publishing company, and more rejections. I can write forever about my failures and rejections.
1.) I got rejected from Macys because I was too over qualified.
2.) A 30-year-old drug dealer rejected me.
3.) I once lived with a bitchy roommate and had to spend time taking care of a feisty, geriatric mother. Now I dont live with the bitchy roommate.
4.) My car registration needs a change of address.
5.) I need an oil change.
6.) I feel bummed that I gained back ten pounds.
7.) My Micrel stock is plummeting.
8.) Im a starving artist.
9.) Applied 100 times, replies 0.
10.) I telemarketed for a garbage company and recently got canned.
11.) I am not in love with the guy I am with and love somebody else.
If you feel that you are at the end of your rope. Try this method. Dont over analyze your life. Never conform to the standards of this world. Just be you. Take the time to walk and gulp in a breath of fresh air. Look at the stars at night and remember that billions upon billions of these stars are both over our heads, and the shooting ones are the ones you make wishes upon. If you are way too analytic and not into this mushy stuff. Write a journal of your thoughts and begin with I have every right to be here as much as anybody else and there is so much to life that I didnt experience and never go to do". Think of that one thing that means something to you and do it, despite the boundaries. Suicide is not the suggestion though but living life is.
Never be sorry about your lengthy post. It is okay to fear the unknown and be reassured that loneliness can be broken if you start opening up to theirs.
Things to do if you want to begin (These are just suggestions):
1.) Take up piano lessons.
2.) Fold Origami
3.) Take up surfing (Dont drown)
4.) Skydiving (Have a good parachute)
5.) Learn to cook
6.) Clean the house
7.) Read up on a good science fiction book
8.) Think up an invention
9.) Help an unfortunate one
10.) Adopt a pet
11.) Learn to fix cars
12.) Update your hard drive
13.) Set up a goal list.
16.) Take a nap
17.) Glass blowing
19.) Setting up an e-bay account
20.) Listening to positive music
21.) Good Spiritual cleansing
25.) Swimming (Dont drown please!)
26.) Sun bathing
28.) Take classes
29.) Call your parent
30.) Eat at your favorite restaurant
31.) Go to Tower Records
32.) Build a Model rocket kit
33.) Buy a telescope
34.) Burn cds
35.) Throw away your weight scale
36.) Join a marathon
37.) Go on dates , be a mentor, and the list goes on.
I hope this advice helps you along the way. Good luck and think positive. I remember that you are trully are not alone in this world.
|29 Apr 2003||Lucy Cortina||Felicia baby, do not fear. In my darkest moments I was thinking "I don't need to do this...", when an angelic light appeared. Do you know what the light was shining on? It was shining directly upon the packet of chocolate and caramel biscuits on the table next to my bed. I reached up with my frailest of hands, I barely had the energy to lift the biscuit to my decaying mouth. As I was doing so, my sister ran into my room screaming "booby booby booby booby booby.... Mummy had a poo". I had no clue as to what planet she was currently visiting. Anyway, as she was so kind, she decided we would have a party with the chocolate and caramel biscuits. She didn't realise it at the time, but she was stopping my suicidal thoughts. She brought in party poperers, and most importantly - balloons. These are what saved my life. I was able to pump them up and pop them under my t-shirt, so it looked like I had a cleavage again. Until one of them popped, and I ran to the kitchen to overdose on my mum's cod liver oil capsules. I may end up looking like a cod. Good grief, I didn't think of that at the time! I don't want a "trout pout" like those other celebs. And I don't wanna end up looking like a fish!
Oh well... I guess if I do, some loony with a rod will pluck me out of this crazy sea of life, and cover me with batter and oil. And I will end up on a plate next to mushy peas in some Fish and Chip rstaurant in the backstreets London. Then to earn money I will become a fish-prostitute. Ok, my mind is racing too far ahead now! Time for my Prozac...
|28 Apr 2003||Felicia is a squeegie||Madam Lucy. Please don't do away with yourself. You have much charming assets and why let them go to waste? Underneath the charming jewels is a bubbling beauty with full lips and a Marilyn Monroe figure. Just remember, you need to keep your diamond collection to a minimum. Don't go flashing them or you will attract "Gypsies, Tramps, and Thieves". It's the terrorists getting to you. Their sexist remarks are dampening our lifestyle. And as for Saddam Insane, never mind him. He's probably rummaging through his oats. Or was that wheat and barley?|
|26 Apr 2003||Felicia||He babysat me last night. I was putting on some negligee and he started grabbing my legs. Clint was a very excited. I told him to stop as I lay my head on the carpet. He was quite playful and nibbling me. Lola told me to not tease him. I told Lola that it was okay for Clint to be my babysitter for the evening. As Lola was trying to leave, Clint held the door closed and forced her to stay. He complained and started crying. As she left, Clint had a solemn look to his face. In the freezer I took out the honey breakfast sausages and fried them in the pan. I made some omelette too. I fed them all to Clint because he was quite hungry and we instantly became close. In the freezer, I grabbed a half pint of chocolate mint ice cream, picked up a spoon, and went to the living room to put on the television. I grabbed a quilt blanket. I sat on the couch and Clint was trying to jump on me. I yelled stop and told him to get down because he was getting feisty. He wanted a taste of my ice cream. I said, "No!" So Clint decided to lay low and be quite for a while. The room was warm, no one was in sight. The evening became longer.
...As I stroked his head and lay right next to Clint.
...The new love of my life ;o)
A german shepherd's affection and the coziness in front of a warm television watching cartoons.
|17 Apr 2003||Felicia||The Hollow Chocolate Bunny
Theres the chocolate bunny,
sitting on the shelf,
looking oh so yummy,
I laugh in spite myself.
The box is oh so yellow,
wrapped in cellophane.
With lips curled up to eat them,
I felt a hunger pain.
Diet, oh forget it!
I wallow in my shame,
I stare at my protruding mass,
I think that I am game.
Monkeys eat bananas.
Horses eat just hay.
Humans eat just anything,
and find theres hell to pay.
Screw the resolution,
Ill exercise tomorrow,
My calorie intake,
Ole Billys bike Ill borrow.
Lucy and her boobies,
The boys stare as we state,
Ill think Ill cook some chicken
and just use "Shake and Bake".
Forget about the chocolate.
My willpower's just bad.
I ate the chocolate bunny,
Its the best I ever had.
Happy Easter all you folks,
Boil eggs, have fun,
Color them real carefully,
And dry them when theyre done.
Dont forget to indulge on that chocolate hollow bunny, and promise me youll eat the ears first.
...Because thats the best part.
To all my friends at Mouchette.org who celebrate or don't celebrate Easter.
The ones who don't...
think of all the candy.
|02 Apr 2003||Felicia||It was foggy this morning. I went down the long front porch steps and found a lizard (salamander) scurrying under my house slipper. I picked it up and it practically flew out of my hand and attached to my night robe. I screamed and the little varmint took a wet dookie on me. The salamander was brave as it stared at me with its beady little eyes. In one second, he jumped off into the rose bush, then headed off to some adventurous journey far, far away, never to be seen again. Later, the fog cleared and I can see the boats passing under the Golden Gate Bridge. At a distance, I can see a big sillouette of Ghirardelli Square and the Coit Tower. A beautiful morning in April as I sip my morning herbal tea.
...and a new day which is absolutely ...breathtaking.
|31 Mar 2003||Felicia Is a Lola||I question myself about that once in the blue moon and wonder how these women ever handled their breasts? Back in the medieval times my relatives were more tribal. And a fig leaf was used for covering or whatever else it was used for. My tribal relatives used to have their bosoms hang all day and not have a care in the world. They would throw coconuts to whoever bothered them about their hanging casabas, and that would end the quarrel.
As with Britney, changing the subject, I have to give her credit for making extra money exposing her boobies, exploiting her light implanted belly button, and her no care attitude to shake her ass. I see a jealous woman, as myself, throw a speeding coconut, 98 miles per hour towards her. Justin Timberlake screams outloud, "Britney!! Duck!!" As the coconut barely grazes her, a Pepsi truck drives by, one mile north, the driver gets startled by the big thump at his door. Through nervous reaction, he swerves, hits a squirrel, and the truck falls into a ditch, which later rolls into the Atlantic ocean. All this and Britney only loses her credibility with Pepsi Cola and the rest is over...
...all because of a flying coconut.
|28 Mar 2003||Felicia||Three cheers to all human-kind, Lucy! The driving force of the key to happiness are warm bosoms along with a warm heart!|
|24 Mar 2003||Lucy Cortina||There's nothing more that brings a tear to my bosom than hearing that my beauty (s) saved another soul, Felicia.
Let breasts continue to save lives, as were they designed for.
It's amazing that breasts can bring so much joy to this world.
Someone once said of Kylie Minogue: "You can't plan your career around your ass" (but you can plan your private life around it!)
But breasts are a whole different kettle of bras, they can rebuild this shattered world.
3 cheers for breasts!
|23 Mar 2003||Felicia - Your Guardian Angel in Disquise||My offered suggestion. The world is a mess. The only way you can get out of this deep blue funk is by breathing. I see and hear people saying that committing suicide is stupid and they never tell you why. Committing suicide is too much of an easy way out. It's about as simple as opening a can of soda and drinking it. When people ask how they should kill themselves, it is because they are afraid to even attempt it. I can offer all the solutions in how one can kill themselves and offer imaginative ideas in how you can do it in a "dramatic way". But that would defeat my purpose in helping you. You know, I was walking one morning on an unpaved sidewalk in a city we always call "the place that Frank left his heart at" and happened to look at the Golden Gate Bridge. San Francisco is the place I call home and I have many friends here. Though I am not homosexual, I have many homosexual friends and love all of them. I was talking to my friend Jimmy one day and he told me that I lacked common sense. I said, "Why?" Well, he said my place is a mess and it looked like shit, my home life is in shambles, my family sucks, and my Iguana is always starving. One day, I wanted to kill myself because I felt like it. Then I went to the search engine and found this website. Then I read about Lucy Cortina and Billy the Freak's conversations, back and fourth, and it made me feel much better. Though I think Lucy Cortina may think that I have a few screws loose and she lost all respect for me, doesn't mean I can't look at her talented chats back and fourth with cool famous people with her momentous episodes of boob jokes. I laughed my ass off and said, "Gee, life is pleasant after all! So you see, committing suicide is not fun. My friend, my young one, my old one, age doesn't matter, I feel your pain. If you can find one thing that makes you happy, go for it. Because you missed out on many things and people bring you down, doesn't mean you should end your life. It's sad to say that it will not bring someone close to you or love you more. You would just be a statistic. My suggestion is this, try something that you never attempted doing by taking a plane to a different town or country and see the world. If you can't afford it, save for it. I know that running away from your problems never helps, but taking a trip to see other countries or cities never hurt. Then explore what it would be like in a place that you never experienced before. My friend, life is full of new experiences. Look how beautiful it is in the sky at night and look out at the stars. Make a wish on every shooting one, and believe that wish. Its when you dont believe that you often fail. Wish yourself out of this deep blue funk and write the wildest things that you want to do. Buy a journal and write your dreams down. Do it as a favor for me? Please?
And by the way, dont let the state of the world get you down. Dont even think of it, just think of you for a change and relax. And first start with breathing better and treating yourself to a nice cool glass of ice water. Please! Dont drown yourself! Because you will not be breathing!!! Purchase a set of headphones and listen to your favorite songs. The world around you can be put on hold for just a moment and remember try not to analyze it so much. Just relax.
|23 Mar 2003||Felicia||My definition of W A R is quite simple. I think of it as two spoiled little boys fighting over ownership of an expensive toy gun. Both parents of the boys hate each other. Neither party likes each other nor they both make a mountain out of a molehill. Hatred becomes the conclusion of the situation. Big WARS like the ones we face now all derive from the mentality. Jealous and spoiled grown up boys trying to conquer the world creating dissension for everyone and peddling each others governmental assets on missiles and military equipment, rather than helping the unfortunate starving economy and unstructured businesses rebuild. With all the useless spending spent on shells I would have bought a mansion and a yacht, along with a Porsche Boxter. Useless spending? No wasted time, unnecessary loss of lives, and less mansions with yachts.
Bombs or mansions? Take your pick. Gosh?! I would have had great boob surgery by now and had a reservation table at Lizas party. Opps! Forgot, she cancelled out because of the war fiasco darn!
|15 Mar 2003||Felicia||The candle light setting was romantic. The lighting in the restaurant was extremely cozy as the melodic tunes of "Alfie" played on the Steinway piano. There was "Mr. Blue Eyes" looking straight at me. His eyes were the bluest of bluest. That night, the food tasted exquisitely delicious. My choice of Alfredo Fettucini had a slight taste of the best creamy cheese in the world made from the freshest ingredients (no commercial pun intended). The olive oil served with the bread was absolutely, positively delicious! The picked portabella mushrooms served with a hint of endives was a compliment in the meal itself. For dessert, the Tiramisu and the espresso coffee was the icing on the cake. Staring at "Mr. Blue Eyes" was more exciting. Reese, finally popped the bottle of Champagne as the moon hit my eye like a big pizza pie. "Oops!" He said. "I'm sorry! I wasn't thinking!" Gently cupping the left side of my eye, Reese (Mr. Blue Eyes) spoke to me in calm-like fashion, and wrapped the champagne ice from the bucket, in the red linen cloth, and covered my left eye. An hour later after the incident, we slowed dance to the soft piano music playing. Dancing next to us was a handsome couple who had years behind them. The night was young, and the moon was full. The stars winked brightly in the night sky.
It made me think that at 14, I was glad that I didn't swallow those iron pills.
-Not the end-
|12 Mar 2003||Felicia||"Political Fries"
There I was at a burger joint, eating a vegetarian burger. I told the counter lady, "May I have a side of french fries with that?" She said, "What fries?" and I again said "French fries!" The clerk said, "We don't serve french fries anymore. Would you like to buy a bag of chips instead?" I said, "Alright." After ringing up my order on the register, the clerk gave me my receipt and I went my merry way to the table. Opening the bag and grabbing the first chip, I found that it was very stale. Later, I nibbled on my vegetarian burger and later took a sniff of the air. Suddently, a loud frying sound permeated my ears at a sound, whatever the decible it was, I can hear it. It was the sound of french fries being fried. I saw a young couple ordering burgers with a side of french fries. Infuriated and mad, I got up to the counter and asked the clerk again, "I thought you were not serving french fries?!!' "We are not", the clerk said with an irritating voice. I said, "Listen, I see that couple with a side of fries with their burgers." The clerk said, "Oh! You want fries with your burger! Why didn't you tell me?" In bite back mode I said, "Lady, all my life they always called those fried potatoe thingies 'french fries'." Do you understand?" The clerk said, "Maam, we don't call those french fries, we call them 'Freedom Fries'. That was the end of it. I ran out of Cubbie's restauraunt all mad. It was bad enough that the U.S. wants to take the French out of the fries, and I keep wondering why I voted for President Bush. I thought he would change it to where the Europeans and the U.S. citizens would collaborate and now it seems the French will be left out of it. Gawd forbid!
The next day I went to McDonalds to order a cheeseburger. The McDonalds clerk politely said, "Would you like a side of french fries with that?"
It's not the end yet. Armageddon begins.
|11 Mar 2003||Felicia||People will think you're insane when you reveal too much information. You know, the ole' (TMI) appoach. It makes one realize that if words were chosen wisely, then people will like you. In a cut throat world such as this it makes you wonder what purpose do you have here? Is it to wallow in misery to get by through the day or are you living a life just to exist? I see people in television have so much to do. Check out the Babes at Baywatch, and the only thing you see mainly is just "tits" and "ass". You see teenagers girls swiping cellphones, wearing scantily Britney Spears clothing with friends, young boys dress up in grunge, with baggy clothing, while observing adults peering down through grocery aisles with this ear piece stuck in their ear just to look cool and chatting about nothing in particular to waste their air time minutes.Then you're on the road on a workday morning and have to wait for the lane to clear as soon as the meter lights change from red to green, green to red, in a span of 6 seconds. And you see people on cell phones driving, while not paying attention to the road. Then the workday starts when you begin a presentation project and manage a whole bunch of water cooler loafers sticking around the coffee break room, talking about "American Idol" and what's up with Howard Stern. Then you advise these people to get back to their units to begin their projects, getting dirty stares, and you wonder sometimes why we are having a downturn of the economy. It's lazy workers I bet? Using company resources by taking office supplies, having expensive office parties for no reason, and coffee bags coming from the friendly neighbourhood Starbucks. At the end of the workday, you drive home and find that your car is running low on gas, and the only option is to run on fumes. Then you find that the nearest gas station and see that the gas rates are $2.19 to almost $3.00 per gallon for regular. In Europle, gosh... I can just imagine! Then you wonder why some people would like to kill themselves because they can't handle the world. It's when you have too much time, or too little in their hands and wonder when depression kicks in. Kids, living with parents is never easy. Living with siblings is never easy either. Then you see "The Osbornes" and see their rich and spoiled pets and children, and go to "Special Features" on their dvd then play a game of "Doggie Dookie". Heaven forbid. That's it! Don't kill yourself because you have way too much or too little time on your hands. If people don't like you and don't agree, why do it to satisfy them? The only way that you can survive in this world is to do things on your own and not depending on others to take care of things for you. As for me, I am beginning today by just shutting off the television set and putting the daily news in the recycle bin. Two things that I did to contribute to this world. Shut off the electricity, work on a battery operated laptop, and recycling. There I just saved the planet. Don't have a hole for a burial plot, because it cost way too much money for the people you care about. And don't worry about me, I am on lunch break and it is now 12:38pm Eastern Standard time. Using my own laptop, my own batteries, and my own portable dsl telephone line.|
|09 Mar 2003||Felicia||Apologies to Lucy Cortina:
I started looking at my small specks. The jealousy of trying to compete with Lucy was utterly sad. Now she is mad at me. I always felt like the Jan Brady and she was the Marsha. "Marsha! Marsha! Marsha!" I screamed out in my head, but it was useless. To find solace, I had to seek the box of water-bras that Lucy gave me for Christmas. In the card, it read "with caring thoughts, Lucy". A tear streak fell out of the corner of my eye because I discovered jealousy can bring such an ugly face. I couldn't help that night when Lucy went out with a Knight, at the Royal French Palace in Paris. Lucy was stunningly beautiful with the crowd and showed such grace and poise. Then a Knight by the name of McKellar, took her sequined satin, precious diamond studded, gloved hand on to the dance floor. There I stood, amoungst the crowd as everybody gazed at the handsome couple. There was Billy staring at the handsome pair with his ear to ear grin. I tugged at Billy's coat tail but he failed to recognize me. I said, "Billy...Billy...Billy!" as crowds roared and cheered to the sway of the music. Still, he never heard me. Disgruntled, I took off, far from site to the back of the Palace and gazed at the moon from the balcony. The beautiful music played into the night. Then I started to cry like I never did before. It seemed I lost a sister and a friend, because of a joke I wrote in the post editorial one day. It suddenly was published and Lucy read it. Her shock was more than shock, so she shook with horror when I came to visit for tea at the Palace one morning. She yelled at me and said, "Felicia! Young lady, do you work for a tabloid?" I said, "No." "Well, then don't write anything about anybody if it isn't nice to say!" I said, "I didn't mean it! I didn't mean it!" To be told that I was like a reporter or the paparazzi was bad enough. I felt like the telemarketer of the media. I ran from the Palace to cool off and gather some thoughts. A few days later, I wheel barreled a crate filled with petals and daisies. I lay them on the ground in front of the palace so Lucy and her Knight and shining armor can see that I placed them in caring words a mile long. It read, "I'm sorry Lucy Cortina for the miserable things I've said and please forgive me." I am standing by the castle right now. But neither Lucy or her Knight read it because they have been busy for a long time. It's taking days.
The clock keeps ticking. The story continues.
|05 Mar 2003||Lucy Cortina||Felicia, I used to have the utmost respect for you until you started "dissing" and making a mockery out of my lushibuous breasts.
And they have feelings too!!!! They're a bit upset by all the press attention they have been getting recently. Forget about Justin Timberlake "grabbing Kylie Minogue's ass" being all over the news. Now it's just my tits. Reporters have such filthy minds! Shows how shallow the world is. I can't base my career on my chest, I have other qualities too! (Besides, it would fall off my chest). For example my eye lashes. They are so delicate, like silk.
|04 Mar 2003||Felicia - Your Guardian Angel||Dear Lydia,
I know that in life, we feel entrapped by discouragement and despair in this world. Because the economy is so bad, its even too expensive to ask for Dr. Kevorkians much needed assistance and its hard to find which pill to end never-ending turmoil. We all live through these horrible feelings each day and its maddening. Watching, reading the news, and countless evenings viewing American Idol doesn't help either. Living life under the scrutiny of a not so understanding family environment, unsupportive peers with toxic thoughts, is entrapment and emotionally draining. There is only one option that you and I can seek. That is to have peace amongst ourselves. We try to go through life trying to seek the approval of others but we shouldnt let it go too far by contemplating on taking our own lives. Its a family or friend issue that must be resolved and misunderstandings between you and them should be nipped in a bud. As you know, feeling hopeless and incompetent results from the lack of communication.
First, find something in your heart that means something to you, like your goals and dreams by making it happen. Second, observe your surroundings, such as purchasing a personal journal or scratch pad, hide it under lock and key, and remembering to write down good thoughts: Lifetime goals short term/long term, positive quotes, pros/cons and future dreams. Refer back to it whenever you get depressed, just to lift your spirits. Throw in a few funny comics, pictures or write positive or true to life quotes from your favorite book, our your very own poem. Make jewelry. Start a fashion design trend, take pictures of the boys you like, first ask for their permission though, if they refuse, go to the next boy that you like. Have many positive contacts and friends overseas, but be sure to choose your chat mates wisely.
Don't react. Think first and take a deep refreshing breath of fresh air outside. At this time, get busy and occupy your thoughts with positiveness, by observing the beauty outside that surrounds you and within rather than being negative and being down. Because... in the future you will find someone to love and they will find you. Give that special person a chance, and first begin with you.... Always.
This day is the beginning chances are always blessings.
|03 Mar 2003||Felicia||How To Give Water To A Dead Horse
Number one the horse is dead; so you flip him over with mouth open face forward towards the boat, positioned belly up. Then you tie a few ropes, loop the rope to a pulley, and rev your engine to sail using Lucy Cortinas 40 DD bra. The water will surely go into the dead horse. Though you try to make sense of the whole thing, youve accomplished your goal. Never think that anything is impossible, because impossible is but a word. But never kill yourself for the sake of having to end a miserable life, because you never know whats on the other side it could be your Mother-in-law or someone you really cant stand.
End of story.
|19 Feb 2003||Felicia - Your Guardian Angel in Disquise||Dear Suicide Note XXX,
I can relate to the pain you are going through when you feel life isn't worth living. Take for example my mother. She lives life everyday being feisty and old making everybody's life a living hell. Unable to take her med's and being incontinent doesn't help either. Anyways, when you don't know what is going on and have no clue why you are here, there are two things that you need to figure out. One, you are either losing your mind because of a handicap that you can't help, and two, you are pushing yourself to lose your mind by telling yourself that you are a failure. Number two is your category my dear and that you can help, and please forgive me if you feel that I am being judgemental. To be honest with you, you have too much time on your hands. Get busy and do something instead of wallowing about killing yourself. Have you ever thought of volunteering in helping those who are unfortunate? Believe me, these people have nothing to live for and need a helping hand. They have nobody... nobody at all. There are no family and friends visiting, except for the physical therapist, the occasional doctor, and the nurse. That is why I am visiting and taking care of my mother, because she has nobody to take care of her, except me, my brother, and my mother's brother. Through countless arguing and ranting and raving, we care about mom. Besides with all this talk about war, the world can end tomorrow. So you see, why kill yourself? Live everyday like it was the first day of the rest of your life, and if it is hard to bear then think about helping others. For this you reap tons of friends. Gosh, you got me and I haven't even met you yet. Okay, how about this, I am going to yell at you. STOP THINKING OF KILLING YOURSELF! YOU'RE NOT CRAZY! YOU HAVE FRIENDS!! STOP DRINKING SO MUCH, IT'S BAD FOR YOU!! DON'T KILL YOURSELF BECAUSE THERE IS A PURPOSE WHY YOU ARE HERE.... STOP IT!! Stop thinking of killing yourself... Stop it, stop it....Stop it!!!
I haven't met you, but you're well liked so get over it. Besides who am I going to write to?
|21 Jan 2003||Felicia||I was just walking by the in-patient unit to drop by a basketful of purple, pink, and yellow daisies to Lucy. There she was on the phone talking to a tampon company, complaining that the Procter & Gamble establishment was cutting off her lifetime supply of "weaved cotton, stop-leak protection". Procter & Gamble, were filing for Chapter 7 Bankruptcy, and willing to charge their faithful customers, promising discounts on free samples, to make extra cash. The profit margin didn't look great in Wallstreet. Dow Jones decided that supply and demand was at an all time low for tampon companies. Recently, most of their customers got spayed at the nearest animal clinic to cut the costs of hospital bills. But not Lucy, she kept all her equipment and cherished her wondrous bosoms. The Christina Aquilera sound-alike on the phone for Procter & Gamble customer service, was a ditzy blonde look-alike with a Britney Spears mentality and the ass the size of Kylie Minogue's or was it J.Lo? Oh gosh! My memory is going dead! Anyways, Lucy, it was rumored that Procter & Gamble was indeed a behind the scenes gypsy "cult" and their only Oracle is an Ouija board. My dear friend, stay away from these people, because they will scam you for every penny that you have.|