|Reading these suicide pages you will find people seeking help and people offering their help. Some witness about suicide from real life experience, others who play along with me would pretend it's a children's game. Some make sick and cruel jokes about it, and angry people blame me for even mentioning the subject. You might also want to read my favourite answers. If you want your answer to be included here, fill in the form.|
What is the best way to kill yourself when you're under 13?
Quelle est la meilleure forme de suicide pour les moins de 13 ans?
|29 Jun 2004||billy the freak||i didn't bother to announce myself when i finally decided to walk through the door. i opened it slowly half expecting it to creek loudly. it didn't creek, the pins and hinges moved smoothly. i guess miss thatchet can spare a squirt of oil when you pay your rent on time. felicia always had priorities. i snuck down the hall like a rapist moving in on his pray. i came to the living room and immediately saw falicia staring out the window. she must not have noticed me because she kept staring, kept tapping her pen on her notebook. so i sidestepped till i was directly behind her at about ten paces.
she didn't know i was there. my stealthiness excited me there was a warm sensation running through my face and loins. the wind blowing through the window sent wisps of her hair into a swirl, i felt like ravishing her. instead i tip toed up to her and and covered her eyes with my hands.
"guess who?" i whispered.
immediately she elbowed me in the groin. by the time i doubled over she was standing and grabbed me by my hair and pulled me forward into the chair she was sitting on. i tripped and fell by then she had the chair over her head ready to crash into me. it amazes me the will of instinct.
"damn it falicia chill out!" i pleaded.
"billy you bastard!" she screamed. "don't you knock. i was so scared i would of killed you." i believed her. i got up and shook myself to my senses.
"i thought we were on a no knock basis." i said as i rubbed my head were she had grabbed the handful of my mange.
"we WAS on a no knock basis." she said. "when we was knocking boots. but you can't come in and out of here like you do my life, okay."
"yeah." i answered.
"so what do you want? to drop another dead body, because miss thatchet said no more till you pay up on your rent."
"no nothing like that. i...i..." i stuttered.
"what the hell do you want billy!." she spit at me. she was obviously upset and now i felt like leaving. i franticly looked around for an answer and saw the book shelf.
"i came to get the copy of guns and ammo i left here." i lied.
"i am pretty sure you got them all billy." she huffed impatiently. " take a look."
i went over to the book shelf and started looking through her magazines. woman's health, trim, and shape. luckily i found a copy of guns and ammo i had left and gave an internal sigh of relief.
"did you find it?" she asked now sitting in her chair again staring out the window and tap tap tapping.
"yep, august 2001 the one i was missing." i said as i read the date off the top again lying to her.
"good, then if you will i am busy i got many things on my mind." she politely told me to leave.
then i noticed the half eaten chocolate easter bunny on the top of the book shelf. i thought about the weight magazines and the bunny that has been sitting there since easter and it hit me.
"falicia have you lost weight? not saying that you are fat or anything but you are looking trimmer." in all actuality i didn't notice a difference, she looked like the same old beautiful falicia to me.
"oh billy you noticed. i lost eight and a half pounds and i centered it around my mid section. i worked so hard and dieted so long. you was the first person to notice. you know i am not the one to around bragging but..." she was about to go on one of thous emotion filled rants about life and goals so i decided to interrupt her.
"falicia, now that i am on you lighter side..." i stopped to smile at her so that she caught my pun.
" i feel that it is time that we try to make our relationship work. no more in and out just for the in and out."
"billy i can't go through anymore heart ache with you your lucky we are still friends." she sighed."you know i will always love you. i just can't carry the weight of your baggage."
after such a heartfelt turndown i decided against just coming out and asking for sex.
"well then do you mind if i just hang out for the weekend i am lonely and feeling down and you were the first person i thought of. in fact when i get down you are the only person i think of. i mean your not seeing any one right now right." i asked sheepishly.
"wadda ya say?"
"okay billy but no freaky stuff because i will throw you in the closet." she pointed her finger directly in my face.
"i would never." i protested.
"yes you would." this time she poked the finger in my chest. "besides our friend from england is coming. i was going to have you up here anyway."
"lucy is coming. that is great." my mind quickly filled with thoughts of a threesome. when will she be here?"
"well billy, i don't now how to tell you this, but lucy is really a guy." she bit her lip and waited for a reply.
"what are you saying" i said confused.
"lucy is a seventeen year old homosexual male named phil." she again waited for me to say something. when she noticed i was going to be silent she continued." he came out in england and and now he wants us to help him come out in america."
"now i know why lucy kept me under the bed and would not let me touch her...er...him. oh my goodness!" my mind started to race. my dreams started to crumble. the very ground i standed on seem soft like gelatin. "what the fucking hell."
"look billy, lucy is a part of phil. an alter-ego if you will. to know all of lucy you got to know phil. and to know phil is to know all of lucy. got it. try to be open minded." her words sounded good enough i guess.
"so when is she...he coming?" i asked.
"tomarrow morning." she replyed. "does this mean you are going to behave?"
"it is like you said lucy is phil, phil is lucy, i love lucy so i will at least learn to like phil." falicia got up and hugged me.
"good. we are having brunch at the hotel at ten you two will have plenty time to talk." she sat down and this time she wasn't staring or tapping she was writing. i leaned down and asked her what this was all about with the window and the notebook she said she was inspired.
when i asked by what she told me to look at the vacant lot across the street and asked me what i saw.
" a few bums sleeping, some trash, and a shopping cart full of aluminum cans." all of a sudden i needed a drink.
"no silly look harder." she said whimsically.
"don't see anything falicia." i said.
"of coarse you don't you don't see the positive in any thing. look down the middle where the street light is and look a little left." i did and i saw a yellow flower
growing out of a crack in the asphalt. all i saw was shit. falicia saw something beautiful in that pile of shit. at that moment i understood her just a little bit more. now i need that drink.
|29 Jun 2004||Tom||With "life", it's good to achieve things, certainly, and to be a success, meet all the pressures the world puts on you... but I also really think that you don't need to be "justified" by success to be allowed to exist.
Think of flowers... people like them, we see beauty and innocence in them... they're harvested, sold, drawn, photographed, "consumed" and valued by our society. But think of the millions of wild flowers that exist out in the world that no one will ever see, no one "consumes" or ever knows about. This doesn't make them useless. They are perfectly allowed to exist, to be what they are without any justification. They're free to breathe and grow and "be" for their own sake.
I'm not trying to say human life is exactly the same, but I think it does form a significant element of our existence. This is not just a concession for "losers", it's a fact of life and don't think the most successful person will feel complete unless they realise this to at least some degree.
I'm sure you'll find "reasons" and "uses" one day. You probably already have a few... but you've got all the time you want to wait, to see. Time can drag on and seem so slow, and then all of a sudden things are changing really quickly.
I don't know if this helps, but as an example: When I was 21 I was on social security, doing kind of humiliating "work for the dole" government programs. I didn't have an tertiary qualifications that made me employable (had done a certificate in IT for a year). I just couldn't do anything, I was going no-where.
I scraped into uni the next year, managed to do ok with marks for once (a big change from high-school!), and then ended up with an industry placement. My employer now pays my university fees and gives me a wage, has moved me half way across the country, pays for flights to here and there. Soon I'll be finished my degree and have experience in an industry where I can expect earn quite a lot of money (not that that is the most important thing).
What's more, I'm actually glad in a way that I spent some time down in the dumps in no-mans-land, because I can relate to people like yourself a little, and when I tell the little "success story", I can actually feel 100% sincere. Things did get better for me... and I had gone as far as writing the goodbye note.
I've realised that time is rarely wasted - you always learn something, even if that is "merely" what it feels like to fail, how hopeless it can be.
Best of luck,
|29 Jun 2004||Anonymous||tell your brother you want to see how long you can hold your breathe. Tell him to hold you down no matter what you do.|
|29 Jun 2004||Mauvais||CHRIS, yes famous chris, the chris everyone knows and hears about. I know you've seen what i've put and i honestly need you to e-mail me. I need you back. Everytime i was suicidal, cut, i had you to talk to. Tonight i cut, tried to kill myself again. I have 3 bottles of my pain meds right now, If you can just e-mail me, i miss u|
|28 Jun 2004||suicide party||suicide party do you want to die with other any age is welcome to come to the party to die this party is in the usa in Klamath Falls Oregon do you want to Commit suicide successfully with us then please join the party plase book now for the party we need at least 20 or more please women men any age to to join and die plase eamil also at email@example.com tell me how you want to die with us
then join the party now at http://clubs.wanadoo.co.uk/groups/suicide party
|28 Jun 2004||You Don't Need to Know||When I was a teeny little child I was molested by my dad. Yep, then told mom and the children's aid society came and aided me. Soon however, since my mom's a selfish, religous, and stupid person. I almost ended up on the street. But anyways then soon she got married to this bastard and he was always accusing me of being a slut and useless. All this shit lead to him choking me and almost killing me, only to have my mom come home and not believe me. Then I found myself a boyfriend who loves me dearly, only to have me cheat on him and end up having a group of girls on my ass, threatening to kick my ass and kill me and such. I was hit on a couple occasions. Anyways, then my school grades started to drop and I almost failed everything, only to fail everything the next year. All through my senoir years-grades 11 and 12-I was picked on everyday being called a slut and hoe and such til one day I dropped out. Ya very sad anyways I've been seeing a shrink for the last 2 years and it helped a little. I've tried to kill myself three times. But now I just smoke pot and drink and do other drugs and sleep in everyday. I don't talk to a lot of people and now I'm not so depressed. Because people disappoint you and drugs make you happy. This is the answer.|
|28 Jun 2004||"jimmie"||i have only read the first page of responses and already i am envious of you all. i wish i knew the reason(s) for my suicidal ideations as many of you seem to. i don't hate my family, i love them and i know they love me. i am not truely alone and my presence does not hurt the ones i love.
i wish i had the answers that many of you seem to have to your feelings of worthlessness and isolation. many of you know the cause of you worries, which means you know what to fix. i don't know what is broken in me. i don't know where to begin the repairs. all i know is the gloom that lingers above me. the fog that permiates my mind and the clouds that shadow my sun.
i am going to be 24 this year, am a fulltime college student and full time nurse (on a psych unit). for those of you who are younger than me and who seem to have incite into your depression and suicidal ideations, take them seriously. do not wait to get help when you are older it will be harder to fix. fix the problems, no matter how complicated they may be for you are the lucky ones you have the equation in front of you now all you have to do is solve for 'x'.
if you are oldre than me and you seem to know the cause of your pain you are one step ahead of me, so try and correct them.
i only wish i had insite into the abyss which i am continually looking into!
|28 Jun 2004||Tanen Kiriyami||Go look for spongebob square without scuba gear...forgetting to come up for air|
|28 Jun 2004||Paul||the easiest would be to drown your self
the fastest would be a shot to the head
The COOLEST would be to come to me and play mario 3 and run into goompas so you could kill yourself over and over but not actually hurt anyone
Mouchette; you should just take lots of pills then email me again
|28 Jun 2004||Cheng||i had problem in my family my parents alway fighted and had argument. just only mom that i had. 1 day she died. i felt like i had nothing left i commited suicide when i was 13 by taking something for cleaning the bathroom. actuallly i supposed to use gun but i didn't know how to put the bullet in. unlucky i am still alive thats why you can see my message here. after that i rarely thinking about suicide but i never did it again as i want to see how my life is gonna end up even i have lots of pain in my mind and i want to leave it so bad.|
|28 Jun 2004||Jericho||I'm not 13 I'm 19 I don't really think alot about suicide but sometimes when stuff gets bad I think about it
I've never been one of the "popular" people and always been a bit of a loner
but I think that it is what makes you strong, coping with being different everyone is different but just in different variations and it will be the most weak people among us who hide behind groups or "popularity" because they cannot face the fact that they too are human and they too are different it's about getting up and saying I DON'T CARE THAT YOU LAUGH AT ME I'LL BE THE BIGGER MAN AND TAKE IT MY STRIDE!
|28 Jun 2004||jem||someone please email me tell me how many ib profine it takes.... i really need your help, from those who have experimented in the past......
|27 Jun 2004||John||I want to strangle myself but dont know how to do it comfortable.. what spot on the neck should i do it, top/middle/bottom??? any other info would be appreciated|
|27 Jun 2004||emma||to find any drugs in the home and take them with any alcolal|
|27 Jun 2004||Tuba Ruba||Here's what you do. Go to Niagara Falls and jump over the falls. If you die, you die and you're happy. If you live, you'll be famous for surviving and you'll get lots of attention and shit. Niagara Falls isn't your cup of tea??? Do some other crazy ass impossible stunt, then if you survive, you'll be famous and whatever. So going out in a blaze of insanity is the best way to kill yourself, especially if you're under 13 because people will be even more amazed by your fucked up self if you survive some crazy ass stunt.
|27 Jun 2004||Rachel||vcxwvcxww [10:10 PM]: please don't take it so bad
vcxwvcxww [10:10 PM]: im mean
vcxwvcxww [10:10 PM]: ok ?
vcxwvcxww [10:10 PM]: im mean
vcxwvcxww [10:10 PM]: im just begining to read a mail from your frien
BabyTearzXoXo [10:10 PM]: dont talk to me.
vcxwvcxww [10:10 PM]: i won't ever be mean
vcxwvcxww [10:11 PM]: you're so sensible
vcxwvcxww [10:11 PM]: i love you
vcxwvcxww [10:11 PM]: i won't do this again i swear
vcxwvcxww [10:11 PM]: i'm sorry
vcxwvcxww [10:11 PM]: i didn't think you were so sensible
vcxwvcxww [10:11 PM]: you know i'm surronded with insensible persons
vcxwvcxww [10:11 PM]: i'm sos sorry
vcxwvcxww [10:12 PM]: i won't do any harm from now i promess
vcxwvcxww [10:12 PM]: i'm really sorry please believe me
vcxwvcxww [10:14 PM]: i'm really sorry
vcxwvcxww [10:14 PM]: i'm crying right now of being such an ass
vcxwvcxww [10:14 PM]: please insult me
BabyTearzXoXo [10:16 PM]: please insult me?????????
BabyTearzXoXo [10:16 PM]: ok
BabyTearzXoXo [10:16 PM]: ur annoying
BabyTearzXoXo [10:16 PM]: ur mean
BabyTearzXoXo [10:16 PM]: ur annoying
BabyTearzXoXo [10:16 PM]: ur mean
BabyTearzXoXo [10:16 PM]: ur annoying
vcxwvcxww [10:16 PM]: ok ok
vcxwvcxww [10:16 PM]: that enough i think
BabyTearzXoXo [10:17 PM]: ur ugly
BabyTearzXoXo [10:17 PM]: ur rood
BabyTearzXoXo [10:17 PM]: ur fugly
BabyTearzXoXo [10:17 PM]: ur annoying
BabyTearzXoXo [10:17 PM]: ur rood
vcxwvcxww [10:17 PM]: fugly ?
BabyTearzXoXo [10:17 PM]: dunt ask
BabyTearzXoXo [10:17 PM]: ur annoying
BabyTearzXoXo [10:17 PM]: rood
BabyTearzXoXo [10:17 PM]: insensible
BabyTearzXoXo [10:17 PM]: cocksucker
vcxwvcxww [10:17 PM]: rood ? what does it mean ?
BabyTearzXoXo [10:17 PM]: hoe
BabyTearzXoXo [10:17 PM]: slut
BabyTearzXoXo [10:17 PM]: bitch
vcxwvcxww [10:17 PM]: no i'm not insensible
vcxwvcxww [10:17 PM]: nor a cocksucker
BabyTearzXoXo [10:17 PM]: i kant think of enymore right now
vcxwvcxww [10:17 PM]: ok do you feel better
BabyTearzXoXo [10:17 PM]: no
vcxwvcxww [10:17 PM]: so continue
BabyTearzXoXo [10:18 PM]: slut
BabyTearzXoXo [10:18 PM]: bitch
BabyTearzXoXo [10:18 PM]: cocksucker
BabyTearzXoXo [10:18 PM]: gay ass
BabyTearzXoXo [10:18 PM]: faggot
BabyTearzXoXo [10:18 PM]: tramp
BabyTearzXoXo [10:18 PM]: hore
BabyTearzXoXo [10:18 PM]: annoying
vcxwvcxww [10:18 PM]: please don't be mean with gay people
vcxwvcxww [10:18 PM]: what is the problem if they want to fuck each other trhoug ass
BabyTearzXoXo [10:18 PM]: fingersucking mutherfucking GAY ass faggot who has no prespetive of the world and who annoys lil 12 year olds!!!!
BabyTearzXoXo [10:19 PM]: i hate u
BabyTearzXoXo [10:19 PM]: bye
BabyTearzXoXo [10:19 PM]: im not even supposto be talking to u
vcxwvcxww [10:21 PM]: perspective of the world ? i have a perspective of universe
vcxwvcxww [10:21 PM]: we will die and the wind will continue blowing
BabyTearzXoXo [10:21 PM]: like ur ass?
BabyTearzXoXo [10:21 PM]: wwwwoooowww
BabyTearzXoXo [10:21 PM]: im not talking to strangers ever again.
vcxwvcxww [10:22 PM]: you a racist ?
BabyTearzXoXo [10:22 PM]: how am I a racist?
BabyTearzXoXo [10:22 PM]: yes
BabyTearzXoXo [10:22 PM]: actioally
BabyTearzXoXo [10:22 PM]: against people being mean to people
BabyTearzXoXo [10:22 PM]: ha
BabyTearzXoXo [10:23 PM]: I kant talk to you im way beyond this.
vcxwvcxww [10:24 PM]: i thought you hated everyone
vcxwvcxww [10:25 PM]: you can't be a racist
BabyTearzXoXo [10:26 PM]: yes im a racist
BabyTearzXoXo [10:26 PM]: .
BabyTearzXoXo [10:27 PM]: im not a good lier**
vcxwvcxww [10:27 PM]: i love you
BabyTearzXoXo [10:27 PM]: but im telling u da truth right now. IM A MAN
vcxwvcxww [10:27 PM]: hahaha
vcxwvcxww [10:27 PM]: ya you could be
BabyTearzXoXo [10:27 PM]: honostlly
BabyTearzXoXo [10:27 PM]: I am
BabyTearzXoXo [10:27 PM]: I sent a pic of my cuzin
vcxwvcxww [10:28 PM]: youre not a good liar
BabyTearzXoXo [10:28 PM]: im not a good lier. tahs true
BabyTearzXoXo [10:28 PM]: but i kant lie to u know
BabyTearzXoXo [10:28 PM]: im honostlly a boy im 17 years old
BabyTearzXoXo [10:29 PM]: so m sorry for lieng to u ina beggining
BabyTearzXoXo [10:29 PM]: im*
BabyTearzXoXo [10:29 PM]: I jus kant keep this lie up no more
BabyTearzXoXo [10:29 PM]: it makes my blud boil knowing I kept this from u
vcxwvcxww [10:30 PM]: id'like to visit tchernobyl with you
vcxwvcxww [10:30 PM]: or any area with rotten people everywhere
BabyTearzXoXo [10:30 PM]: you dont balieve that im a man??
vcxwvcxww [10:30 PM]: no
BabyTearzXoXo [10:30 PM]: I promise u
BabyTearzXoXo [10:31 PM]: usually I would lie to you but this is my last words
BabyTearzXoXo [10:31 PM]: im fucking seriouse.
BabyTearzXoXo [10:31 PM]: my real name is charls bronson
vcxwvcxww [10:32 PM]: noooooooo
vcxwvcxww [10:32 PM]: are you ?
BabyTearzXoXo [10:32 PM]: yessssssss
vcxwvcxww [10:32 PM]: but why do you do all this ?
BabyTearzXoXo [10:32 PM]: to make fun of you.
vcxwvcxww [10:33 PM]: you're a true sadist i can tell you
BabyTearzXoXo [10:33 PM]: sadist?
BabyTearzXoXo [10:34 PM]: so u still wanna have sex?
vcxwvcxww [10:34 PM]: i don't wanna have sex
vcxwvcxww [10:35 PM]: i told you i just love you
BabyTearzXoXo [10:35 PM]: but im a man
BabyTearzXoXo [10:35 PM]: ur gay?
vcxwvcxww [10:35 PM]: no
BabyTearzXoXo [10:35 PM]: so am I!!
BabyTearzXoXo [10:38 PM]: soooooooo
vcxwvcxww [10:41 PM]: do you go somewhere for holidays ?
BabyTearzXoXo [10:42 PM]: yes the strip club
vcxwvcxww [10:42 PM]: come on
BabyTearzXoXo [10:42 PM]: honostlly
BabyTearzXoXo [10:42 PM]: im being totally honos with you
BabyTearzXoXo [10:44 PM]: an u be honost with me now?
BabyTearzXoXo [10:44 PM]: you really think im a bad lier beauze my mom said so too
vcxwvcxww [10:45 PM]: ya you're a bad liar i think that's cute
BabyTearzXoXo [10:45 PM]: wellllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllll
BabyTearzXoXo [10:45 PM]: im actioally
BabyTearzXoXo [10:45 PM]: an awsome lier
BabyTearzXoXo [10:45 PM]: becauze im a girl
BabyTearzXoXo [10:45 PM]: got u there,
BabyTearzXoXo [10:45 PM]: hahahahahahahahaha
vcxwvcxww [10:46 PM]: nooo
BabyTearzXoXo [10:46 PM]: wowz
|27 Jun 2004||mdcracker||why, hellooo ya'll!!
when you are suicidal whatever you do, don't suddenly become relgious!! I've got nothing against suicide but religion is the most fucked-up bullshit in the world. Seriously, it contradicts itself, it's irrational, it's distorted by human behaviour, and there's about 10 billion of them! Think about it: there's are billions of different religions and each religion has followers who truely beleive in that religion. Take the towel-heads for example. They beleive in it so strongly that they kill themselves just to get to heaven. And so with that in mind, if each of the ten billion different religions only believes in one god, then 99.999% of all of them my be wrong. Why THE FUCK should you believe some Christian because he says he's right and THEY'RE wrong?!! Perhaps there is a god, but there sure as shit isn't any religion. As if someone so perfect (which he would have to be) would create something so completely faulted and hypercritical as the bible and modern (and past) Christianity. Like the inquisition, that was in the name of god. So what the fuck? has his name changed so much in 400 years? I doubt it. Anyway the point of this is to say don't let your state of mind allow you to be convinced into a religion. It's so damn wrong how the religious people pray on depressed people. And they do, as far as my personal experience goes.
|26 Jun 2004||Apollo Smile||Just for the record, the haven all memes depend on reaching is the human mind, but a human mind is itself an artifact created when memes restructure a human brain in order to make it a better habitat for memes.
We are built as gene machines and cultured as meme machines, but we have the power to turn against our creators. We, alone on earth, can rebel against the tyranny of the selfish replicators.
|26 Jun 2004||Mackellar||Just for the record, waking up on drugs in a morgue with your pubic hair shaved and some sharp plastic thing shoved up your penis doesn't necessarily make you a real artist.|
|26 Jun 2004||Elena||Dariusz? Are you out there?
I have had fitful sleep for several nights now. Sunday morning around 6:30 after working on music all night, I went outside and walked around the garden until 7:40 a.m. I put out a new birdseed in the feeder that I see from my kitchen window called Hot Meats which contains peppers. I had not realized that birds enjoy hot peppers. The light was so beautiful early this morning. I looked around in amazement at how beautiful my land is and how lush and private the grounds around the house are this time of year. I have a lot of memories here. I have been working on music every night and doing my best to keep a clear head and not make more mistakes in judgment. I made a reckless mistake in recent history. I made an impulsive decision based on my fairy tale belief in Romance instead of clinical logic. It was not in my best interest to have succumbed to my passion and the lesson I hope I learned is to have the discipline to contain that drive and that desire and not let desire cloud my thinking. I realize now just how much the childhood fantasy tales Sleeping Beauty and Cinderella and such have an impact on women's lives. How many of us believe in Prince Charming and being rescued by a man?
The new version of ... ME ... has been in construction and is coming soon. DISCIPLINE
D I S C I P L I N E