|Reading these suicide pages you will find people seeking help and people offering their help. Some witness about suicide from real life experience, others who play along with me would pretend it's a children's game. Some make sick and cruel jokes about it, and angry people blame me for even mentioning the subject. You might also want to read my favourite answers. If you want your answer to be included here, fill in the form.|
What is the best way to kill yourself when you're under 13?
Quelle est la meilleure forme de suicide pour les moins de 13 ans?
|01 Mar 2005||Rita||I don't think I know the best way to kill yourself when you're under 13. I've been reading the stuff people post on here for quite some time now, I still don't think I've read them all, but I feel like I can connect with more people here than I've ever been able to anywhere else. I really did not have a horrible life like some of the people here, but I feel the pain that many of you feel day in and day out. I always felt like the way my mom treated me was so shitty. I noticed that a lot of the things I did never seemed to be right. I was always doing something wrong. I was screw up. I felt like I was the daughter she never wanted. Everytime they would fight it would almost always seem to be because of me. Many may say, "no it's not your fault, don't think that." But once, when they were fighting and my dad had already left for work, she called me into their room and told me that i was the reason they fight. It's all because of me. My mom has even told me how many times she's wanted to leave us. She has yet to do it, but I wouldn't put it past her just one day walk out when she got really pissed off.
When I was in middle school was when depression really started to kick in for me. It didn't help that I didn't fit the stereotype of the pretty girl. I was too smart, too tall, too nerdy to be anything that was considered cool. In seventh grade, in three consecutive days I tried three times to commit suicide. Obviously none of them worked. I was too naive to really do it right I guess. I tried ODing on two of those occasions, leaving a note by me when I went to sleep for when I didn't wake up...I did. The third time, I made a suicide concoction of sorts to drink. I can't remember all that I put into it, but I do remember putting some household cleaner in it. I was too scared to really drink a lot of it...I took a sip..then I broke down into tears. I didn't really have any other suicide episodes until 8th grade when my mom called me a whore and a prostitute because she had found out I had kissed my first boyfriend ever. For that whole weekend I was in tears and so upset.
Freshman year of high school I think was really the worst. My mom flipped out because I had started seeing a guy that was older than me (he was only one grade ahead of me). I continued to see him behind her back and she found out. It was the worse day of my life. The next morning I had decided that that was the day I was gonna end it all. I could not continue to live a life where I'm a screw up for my mother. Always a screw up. I decided I was going to hang myself. My parents were going to my cousin's wedding and there was no way I was going to make an appearance with tears streaming down my face and looking like I hadn't slept in days. I could not put up a front like as if everything was ok, so I stayed home with my plans. I made a stupid mistake though. I told someone what I was doing. He was worried about me and I was in tears so I talked to him on the phone as he tried to console me and make me change my mind. But he had called the cops. They showed up at my door, called me on the phone to asking me to let them in. I was so freaked out and i felt so betrayed by my friend. I let them in and they talked to me and asked me to go with them. They put me in the ambulance and drove me to the Emergency Psych ward. I was there for almost the whole day. I had to talk to a therapist, they kept me in a room with someone at all times. But I think that the scariest part was when my parents got there. Seeing them walk past the room I was in made me want to stay there instead of going home. Needless to say I did. I thought things would get better and they did, here and there. But sometimes things were still shitty. My mom blatantly tells me that if I had committed suicide it wouldn't have solved anything, that I just would have gone to hell. Thanks mom.
Throughout the rest of high school, I managed to deal with everything I guess. Depression would surface every once in awhile. So much so the end of my sophomore year, that I say a therapist again and got prescribed prozac. They put me in a group therapy with a bunch of other teenagers too. That was so stupid. If anything, it just put a bunch of teens with problems in one room, it didn't solve anything, just made us see that there were other people with similar or worse shit to go through. If anything we just bonded over our problems, not learned how to solve them. I stopped taking the meds after a while cuz they weren't doing anything, and I just wanted to take em all at once to see if I'd OD.
I thought I was getting better recently, but I really doubt that. The depressions been coming back, and I've been as emotional as I was back then. I feel empty inside...dead even. I don't know what to do anymore. I don't want to see a therapist. For me, it's just a waste of money. I've been thikning about committing suicide again. Considering that I'm older now, I feel like I have so many more options for me now. I can do what I want to do...I just don't know if I will yet.
|01 Mar 2005||???||Stare at a picture of Micheal Jackson in your room, all alone, at night, in your bed...and then say his name three (3) times.|
|01 Mar 2005||depressed and lonely||I'm not 13 but i've always thought of commiting suicide ever since i was that age... I don't have many friends, and the love of my life just passed away which i blame myself for it... I don't know what to do with my life now. im terribly depressed and his suicide just encouraged me to start thinking about committing suicide myself. i feel so sorry for everyone's story that's posted on this site. I really wish to end my life soon, i need to go talk to him again. i wish everyone else good luck.|
|01 Mar 2005||lissa||you know i think all the religious people should lick my hairy nut sack (even though im a chick!) god doesnt exist!!! if he did why the hell would he make so many fucking people die of suicide why the hell would so many people be deppessive? i doesnt make and fucking sense. please some one explain to me how there can be some person (male or female) controlling the world when there is so much shit going on and so much hated, and racism,and all that fucking stuff? how does that all work out? ive wanted to kill myself since i was 9. hard to belive, just never was successful. more and more attempts didnt work. so i fell in to the drugs and vodka and sex and parties and cutting and swearing at people. fucking up peoples minds.|
|01 Mar 2005||***SECRET***||HI IM 14 AN I WISH I COULD DIE JUST LIKE THAT WHY IM SO DEBRES AN EVERYTHING I TRY TO DO GOSE THE WRONG WAY TRY TO BE COOL BUT END UPI BEING NOT COOL TRY TO BE SEXY AN DO CRAZY SHIT WITH MY BOYFRIEND ENDS UP JUST ENDING BAD AN NOT WANTING TO DO SHIT NOW IM WANTING TO DIE CUZ IM FUCKIN CUSIN DID IT TO ME AN I DIDNT WANT TO AND THAT FEELS SO BAD CUZ I DIDNT WANT TO DO SHIT AN KNOW EVERY BODY KNOW AN HES SAYING I WAS THE ONE THAT STARED IT AN EVERY BODY BELIVES HIM AN HURTS ASS HELL KNOWING THAT HE IS THE ONE THAT IS WINIG WHAT ABOUT ME I FELL SO BAD AN WISH I COULD DIE WHO EVER READS THIS THANKS FOR UR TIME LOVE YAAA|
|01 Mar 2005||guadalupe||cut you self in your vains an wait till u slowly die|
|28 Feb 2005||EricaLee0392||To let you all know...I'm 12 and we don't do it to get attention. We do it because we have no family or good friends to talk to. My family thinks I'm a potsmoking 12 year old and my friends jsut trip me and stuff in school. They "pretend they're joking wso I just smile back. I cut my wrist too deep one day and I passed out and then I woke up at the hospital scared to death because there was a bunch of nurses and doctors around. then when I got out that night I tried to jump off a bridge and jump in front of a trai I got caught by a policemen and taken to this place for ppl that try to hurt themselves then I tryed hanging myself there with sheets and I got caught. It was horrible then I got let out and ever since I been cutting myself and couldn't stop...|
|28 Feb 2005||marc-andré||cross the street while you're running after a ball, then a big truck bump you|
|28 Feb 2005||lush_||dont cut.... i look like a freak...you wanna look good in your casket...|
|28 Feb 2005||suicidial thoughts||if your 13 u shouldnt kill urself but if i was going to do it, i would have to say use a gun.|
|28 Feb 2005||demonio bambina (devils child)||i would love to see what it is like to die, to see how my "loved ones" would react to my death, natural or with me intervening. and if it was good enough i would love to stay dead, however this is not possible so i try to come as close as i can.
i am a drama student so people's reaction to my performance is very important to me, and probably to a lot of people who may or may not read this.
by the looks of the web site i need not mention that you are not alone in your thoughts and/or actions, and that you can e-mail me any time.
i am a cutter.
but for me its not one slice of the blade, thats not enough to satisfy my pain and the need to release it. oh no i get a blune object, such as childrens scissors go through the layers and layers on skin, feeling all the pain releasing, my hands and wrist trembling, the numb feeling of pain shooting up my arm.
i can scream as loud as i want, but i dont, id rather suk it all up and smile, nobody knows that ive started again, this i can control my life is on the edge of the blade that rest in my trembling hand
|28 Feb 2005||Rena||To me life has no meanings* Maybe my expectations are too high, but i've always felt like the things i have just doesn't satisfy me. My family is like any other ordinary people and I have a lot of friends. But it feels like i'm just an invisible person among all the people. I've tried countless times to find something, like an interest that will maybe give me a purpose in living, but i felt everything is too late if i start now. Part of this comes from pressure with school work and being compared to my sister. I'm at a point even i think i'm insane. If my parents, siblings, or relatives were to die tomorrow. I don't even think i would shed a tear. That's how i look at everybody. If i was given a choice of jumping off a building right now i wouldn't even hesitate. I think that would be the best way to end ones life because it calms you down and before you know it nothing would matter anymore...|
|28 Feb 2005||Artimas||Mary i like to say that you my dear are so funny i almost fell off my chair listening to your rant..i mean boob jobs are just mens way of making you look like his dream porn star and I want to know tha name of your oh so divine God....lol i think the Mary was a vigin when jesus was concieved and if your the only one not to believe it then fine go jump in a lake but man oh man i love it when you fight back all mean and angry like....AND I AM A GREEK GODDESS YES BUT AT LEAST THAT BETTER THAN BEING YOU!!!!!!!!
|28 Feb 2005||REDDEATH||I am sad!
I am lost here in the dark place!
I dont Know where I am.
I Dont have the light that you provided.
My heart has darkened with torment.
My heart is thumping like lightening
My brain cant stop thinking of you.
My brain is roting with out you
|27 Feb 2005||Religious Maggie||Oooh jealous little Artemis. I shall have a word with God about you. Don't be surprised if your boobs start to go droopy, for that shall be your punishment.
Well darlings do you know something. I have a hole in my knickers - the hole is in the EXACT spot in my knickers. You know the Victorian women had holes in their knickers too. But that was for easy sex! Well they didn't have time to take off all that clothing you see. The excitement would've worn off by then.
I've been having fun with fairy liquid recently. Especially when i rub my boobs with the fairy. I squeeze them and rub them with a circular motion with my hands. Oooooh it feels nice. Then I slide around the kitchen floor on them. Though it can be dangerous, I banged my head on the skirting board the other day and got a headache.
|27 Feb 2005||eat shit loads of sweeties until ure full and go to hannibal lecters house
|27 Feb 2005||Marky Altz||i am such a loser. i have chronic depression and anger problems as well as mild delusions. i am always parinoid thinking someone is tring to get me. i always try and talk down on someone so i feel better. i am just miserable and want to die. i plan on killing me real soon if i cant just have one day of peace in my head. if any one is out there and wants to be my frind please call me on my cell at 936-714-2945. i desperatly need someone to talk to.|
|27 Feb 2005||Stacey||I overdosed last Septemeber when things were really tough. Now I want to do it again but i'm sure it wont work. Why? Because it didnt last time. I'm still sitting at this same old computer arent I? I really want to end my life. I cant even get fucking sleeping pills because my doctors not convinced that a 17yr old has sleeping problems.
I just want to talk to someone. Give me ideas, dont give me advice.
My family sucks, if you lived here, you'd have killed yourself ages ago. I'm suprised i've lasted ths fucking long
|27 Feb 2005||Dizzy||all i can say is wtf is the point in killin yourself? everone goes thru some shit sometime or other in ther life but things get better, wen your a kid, youve got your whole life ahead of you..whats the point in wasting it just because your getting bullied at skl or your parents are making your life hell??? itd b better to survive and prove to these ppl that make your life misary that your not useless or pathetic or anything.If you commit suicide your just as bad as them.Commiting suicide is selfish and doesnt help ne1. everyone always says that suicide 'sets you free' and blah blah blah but who the hell knows what its like wen your dead? no1...so whats to say it isnt worse than the life you alredy got.|
|27 Feb 2005||someone||Hang Your Self, That's What My Sister Did & i was in teh room, and well now im 13 i think i'm ganna hang myself to... all u need is rope adn somewehre to hand from, a tree is good|