Reading these suicide pages you will find people seeking help and people offering their help. Some witness about suicide from real life experience, others who play along with me would pretend it's a children's game. Some make sick and cruel jokes about it, and angry people blame me for even mentioning the subject. You might also want to read my favourite answers. If you want your answer to be included here, fill in the form.

Date Name/email

What is the best way to kill yourself when you're under 13?

Quelle est la meilleure forme de suicide pour les moins de 13 ans?
01 Jul 2005 The world sucks Look, I'm not the one with the problem, ok? It's the world that seems to have a problem with me. People take one look at me and go, 'Ahhh... help... run... a big stupid ugly ogre!'. They judge me before they even know me. That's why I'm better off alone.
01 Jul 2005 hi You know, humans, sometimes things are more than they appear. Mmm? Forget it.
01 Jul 2005 duloc Welcome to Duloc, such a perfect town. Here we have some rules, let us lay them down. Don't make waves, stay in line, and we'll get along fine. Duloc is a perfect place. Please keep off on the grass, shine your shoes, wipe your - face. Duloc is - Duloc is - Duloc is a perfect place!
01 Jul 2005 HEART TORN I've been here before
I know this room, I've walked this floor
I used to live alone before I knew you
I've seen your flag on the marble arch
Love is not a victory march
It's a cold and it's a broken

And all I ever learned from love
Was how to shoot at someone who outdrew you
It's not a cry you can hear at night
It's not somebody who's seen the light
It's a cold and it's a broken.
i wish i was dead now.
bang shoot my self in the head,
01 Jul 2005 CJ when i was walking around with this one boy once.
som another kid said are you going out with her "yeah you are he said"
he said eh no i am not.
people laugh at the males when they fancy me.
I am a joke..
like i am ugly.
i wish i was dead
PS everyone thinks i am a freak,
what is wrong with me.

people laugh at me because i am ugly.
I am going to kill my self soon.
and i can't wait.

01 Jul 2005 shoot me “I feel everything is my fault and I am stupid, ugly and have no friends” ...
“Helpless, hopeless, worthless, guilty, hate myself” ...
01 Jul 2005 CJ I am ugly, how can I ever hope to become anything in life? I am 23 and I've never had a bf, don't have any friends. I'm a nerd and I play alone at weekends, CS all day after work. My grades arn't any good so I don't have much of a future. I look like a fricking ogre, and I am not afraid to admit it. Picture the hunch back of notre dame. What can I do? I'm ugly and I will always be, and I'm not smart enough to make up for it. People always tease me about the way I look. Is there anything I can do?
01 Jul 2005 me I don't like myself. 2. I am disgusted with myself. 3. I hate myself ... 3 I feel
that I am ugly and repulsive looking
I am Ugly.

That's it, I've resigned myself to the fact that I am one ugly son of a bitch. There's no getting around it, the facts are there and I have to face them.

It's not the weight. Men can be handsome and be overweight. I'm not talking Jabba the Hut overweight. That's just disgusting and ridiculous. I'm not talking the kind of overweight that fools your friends into thinking that there is a solar eclipse everytime you walk into the backyard for a barbeque. I'm talking about run of the mill, extra pound carrying overweight. Hell, some men look better when they are bigger. Me? Well it just doesn't matter with me. Thin, fat, short, tall, big, small, whatever. I am just plain ugly.

Yes, I fell out of the ugly tree and hit all of the branches on the way down.

Yes, my wife has to tie a pork chop around my neck so that the dogs will play with me.

Yes, I was so ugly when I was born that the doctor slapped my mother.

Yes, I could walk into a haunted house and come out a minute later with an application.

Hell, I make Jack Elam look like Clark Gable.

Yes, I've heard them all before.

Damn, I'm ugly.

Men stare at me in disbelief that god could be such a cruel and unforgiving lord. Women avoid me as they would a nice, ice cold Vaginal Specula. If it wasn't for what I call "BMD" (Big Man's Disease), I probably would never have had a date or even had the chance to get married. Big Man's Disease is an affliction whereby a woman gets all hot and bothered by a man's size. The bigger he is, the hotter she gets. It really doesn't matter what the man looks like as long as he is big. About fifteen percent of all the women in the world suffer from this. I'd say an easy fifteen percent. I believe the term some people use for this is "Chubby Chaser." Whatever. It is still a reality.

It's a real bitch being ugly though.

Hookers charge you more.

Restaurants seat you in the back so you don't scare off the regular clientele.

Little children scream and break down into tears at the sight of you because the stories their parents told them of the boogeyman or beast under the bed have finally come to life before them. I never get enough of parents telling their kids "If you don't behave I'm gonna tell that man over there to come and put a stop to your bad behavior" only to have the child look over at me and faint dead away in fright and revulsion, overwhelmed by the fear and despair created just from looking at me.

The only time of year I feel comfortable is Halloween.

My brother and sisters are good looking. My children take after their mother, for which I thank god every day. I'm looking to maybe start a new organization for ugly people. I will call it "CMA" or, Cracked Mirrors Anonymous.

"Hi, my name is Mike, and I'm ugly."


I'll be the richest goddamn ugly bastard in the world.

I'll show you.

I'll show you all. My face will be plastered all over ugly billboards across our nation. I will go on talk shows and appear at benefits. The stigma of ugly will disappear and everybody in every nation will embrace the ugliness in us all. The world will truly be a better, more ugly place.

Or not.

An ugly guy can dream, can't he.

I am Ugly.
01 Jul 2005 cj Kids always talk about me behind my back and I can't tell who my real friends are. Please help me!”
I have bipolar disorder and I hate it so much.’
I have a lot of depression! Me and my mom get in big fights and I cry all the time because I feel as if I can't accomplish anything.”
I'm always depressed, and it doesn't take a rocket scientist to know it. One day I'm all sad and not saying anything, then the next day I'm all grumpy and mad. Also, I'm always saying things to myself like, 'I hate myself, I'm worthless and ugly,' and I'm always saying 'I hate...I hate...I hate' at the beginnings of most of my sentences. I always feel down and think I'm worthless all the time. I'm very sensitive and often feel offended or touchy. I think I'm cursed with a miserable life. It's like nobody understands me. Once at school, I was feeling down and my friends and classmates thought I was sick, like I was going to throw up instead of depression. I try to talk about it to my friend, but she just said, 'Whatever' and tried to talk of something else. Also I can't talk to my mom because I REALLY know she can't help. Well, back to my miserable life."
01 Jul 2005 me again Last year I had no real friends. The people who said they were my friends seemed to always have something mean to say to me. I walked around with my head down while people laughed and made fun of me. This year I was on the color guard on marching band. I made a lot of great friends and I started talking about my problems. Now color guard is over and I am depressed again! I can’t sleep and I have nightmares. I don’t want to eat. I feel hopeless.”
01 Jul 2005 cj Though I wonder why I am here
I think I'm about to fall
I cannot be occupied by this, our dead world.

And the demons that lurked late around me
I am unable to continue alone
I lose you.

When there's nothing to lose
Caught in a world between
I've come to know myself too well.

Never fufilling requests unknown
Defiance, alliance, reliance...

Pssst... Wanna be peeved?
01 Jul 2005 THE ATTITUDE ADVISOER And now i am alone perhaps life is better. with fight arguments and the night mares.
at least there was some one to talk to
01 Jul 2005 CJ I live in fucking regret every day. I wallow in it. I am a loser, a geek, and ugly. Completely fucking ugly. I whine and bitch about my life and my circumstances. I expect you to listen and dont fucking CARE. The most arrogant bitch alive-- and probably also the most unfeeling, uncaring, and insensitive as well. I have a positive outlook toward self-hatred. It would do the world a favor if somebody would just fucking OFF me. I hate children and teenagers. I hate myself and I hate you. Everything arises from chaos and seeks order. I bleed, for you. I hate you because you aren't strong enough to hate yourself. Your pissy little world isn't enough for me. Own a cat i am a dog. I'm an idiot. I'm clumsy. I don't understand innuendo, subtlety, or hints. I've lied to, hurt, broken, lost, and desecrated everything and everyone that I've ever loved or who has ever loved me. Pack your fucking god and your fucking love up and get the fuck out. My job has eaten my soul. I love so many people who can never love me. I never had a soul. The concept is bullshit. I am a huge disappointment. I'm /ugly. I'm dishonest. I dream about being more than I am, but know it's only a dream. I realize that everyone has hated me for a long, long time. Drink alcohol and inbreed. I am powered by rage, and driven by anger. I want to find someone else like me. I want to harness the power of indifference, and learn what it means to really stop caring. I hate for you because you do not understand how to hate properly. If other people think you are grotesque, I want to know you. I can only assume I'll be alone forever. I see spots before my eyes. I don't drive a van. You just wouldn't fucking understand. Shit on my love for you. What you see as beauty I see as ugliness. Sickening the beautiful people would be justice enough. All my friends are gone, or going-- it appears that I'm destined to suffer through this in solitude. Throughout history, there have existed few people lazier than I. I'm am such a pathetic prick. I deserve this. I deserve this. I deserve this. I deserve this. I've always deserved this. I will always be deserving of this. I am this monster. I am your monster. So far I've found you five times-- four times if you forgive my indiscretion. Give me some fucking motivational drivel, religion, and a camping trip, then fuck the fuck off. Do not tell me this is art. This isn't expression, it's excretion. Tell me how serious you are about being annoying. Let your fucking kids run wild in the back yard. Don't you dare fucking hurt the cats. I am determined to see that this text grows longer every day. I am determined to stop caring. Look at me! I'm a statistic! I am determined to be loathed and to loathe. I am a fat, smelly fucking dem-o-graphic. I should probably take up playing fucking computer games, realtime chat, and smoking. I long to find somebody who I can appreciate. I should set myself on fire. I should be trendy, enigmatic, and wacky. I should drive into a tractor trailer. You should boil your head. Please just let me suffer. I wish I had nothing to lose. Is there anybody else out there that feels like me? I suffer so you do not have to. You should suffer, too. All of you should suffer. Just stop being attractive to me! I am cursed to be the only person that has ever seen myself as special. Are you ugly? Do you hate you? Could you hate me, too?
01 Jul 2005 life is a joke the person who said things got better you are a fucking liar.
01 Jul 2005 vampire VAMPIRE LOOKING i am so ugly

i am so ugly i am a fucking tragic man.

call me littlemisstragic.
01 Jul 2005 CJ Hello! I googled a bit and found this site. I feel like I would like to talk to someone about my problem, but nobody seems to understand. Heck, I don't even understand it myself. I feel stupid and I feel like I am going crazy... and I thought, maybe here I can find someone who will listen and help me sort out what I am going through. I'm afraid I am going insane. Thanks for reading this.
felt so alone right now. I've been crying for the last hour or so. I took a Xanax but it doesn't seem to help. Maybe I should take another one.
I feel so ashamed of myself. I don't even know how to explain what my problem is. I don't even seem to have one. At least that's what everyone else seems to think.
and although I'm ashamed, I feel relief in being able to share my troubles.
It is people they scare me to death.
I'm a WRECK. How many Xanax do I have to take to get a "happy feeling"? I'm afraid to try.But I hated children all my life. I think it might depend on the fact that I was a pretty chubby and really girl when I was little, and the kids were really cruel to me back then. I hated childhood, and I always felt comfortable around adults, but never around children.
went to a councellor last year, and it didn't help. Then my doctor sent me to a psychiatrist. I saw him once, I hated him, he didn't even listen to what I had to say and then he talked down to me, while handing me a prescription for Paxil. It made me feel miserable.
i am so nervous all the time and alone what is the ponit of being alive. i will kill my self some time soon.

Good night (or good morning!), and thank you for letting me talk.
01 Jul 2005 CJ my school life:
when i was young i was ok looking.
Puberty was very mean to me growing up.i was a thick black haired freak.
when i see some people walking past me from school they stilllaugh at me for that and the fundrasiser they laugh at me for,
I am so ugly.
there are people in my family who rejected mt growing up i got rejected by my peers ( bullied really bad by peers).
Told i was dirty smelly unclean ugly a freak amigher you name it i got it.
I can't take it as a adult my past.
I'm underdeveloped and alone now i suffer from B.D.D...
Body dysmorphic disorder
Body dysmorphic disorder (BDD) is a mental illness. People who have this illness constantly worry about the way they look. They may think something that isn't there, or that others don't even notice, is a serious defect. The severity of BDD varies. For example, some people know their feelings aren't rational or justified, while others are almost delusional in their conviction.

The preoccupation can be so extreme that the affected person has trouble functioning at work, school or in social situations. Any part of the body can be targeted. It is thought that about one per cent of the population may have BDD, with men and women equally affected. BDD usually starts in the teenage years, when concern over physical appearance is common. Suicide rates among people with BDD are high.

Common areas of concern
Common areas of concern include:

Facial skin.
Face, including the size or shape of the eyes, nose, ears and lips.
Size or shape of virtually any body part including buttocks, thighs, abdomen, legs, breasts and genitals.
Overall size and shape of the body.
Symmetry of the body or particular body parts.
Symptoms can vary according to which body part (or parts) are targeted, but general symptoms of BDD include:
Thinking about the perceived defect for hours every day.
Worrying about their failure to match the 'physical perfection' of models and celebrities.
Distress about their preoccupation.
Constantly asking trusted loved ones for reassurance about their looks, but not believing the answer.
Constantly looking at their reflection, or else taking pains to avoid catching their reflection (for example, throwing away or covering up mirrors).
Constant dieting and overexercising.
Grooming to excess - for example, shaving the same patch of skin over and over.
Avoiding any situation they feel will call attention to their defect. In extreme cases, this can mean never leaving home.
Taking great pains to hide or camouflage the 'defect'.
Squeezing or picking at skin blemishes for hours on end.
Wanting dermatological treatment or cosmetic surgery, even when professionals believe the treatment is unnecessary.
Repeat cosmetic surgery procedures, especially if the same body part is being 'improved' with each procedure.
Depression and anxiety, including suicidal thoughts.
The cause is unknown
The cause of BDD is unknown. Theories include:
A person with BDD has a genetic tendency to develop this type of mental illness. The trigger may be the stress of adolescence.
Particular drugs, such as ecstasy, may trigger onset in susceptible people.
BDD could be caused by chemical imbalances in the brain.
A person with low self-esteem who has impossible standards of perfection judges some part of their body as ugly. Over time, this behaviour becomes more and more compulsive.
Western society's narrow standards of beauty may trigger BDD in vulnerable people.
Similarities to other conditions
BDD is similar to other conditions, including:
Agoraphobia - a type of anxiety disorder characterised by the fear of situations or places from which escape seems difficult. In extreme cases, a person with agoraphobia is housebound. However, a person who stays home out of fear of publicly exposing their defect may have BDD instead of agoraphobia.
Anorexia nervosa - BDD is often misdiagnosed as anorexia nervosa because of the preoccupation with appearance. However, anorexia nervosa is characterised by the drive to control one's weight. It's possible for a person to have anorexia nervosa and BDD at the same time.
Apotemnophilia - the desire to have part of the body amputated, usually a limb, in order to feel 'whole'. Surgery seems to be an effective treatment for apotemnophilia, which isn't the case for BDD.
Hypochondriasis - the preoccupation with the development of disease. However, the person with BDD is preoccupied with their looks, not their health.
Obsessive compulsive disorder (OCD) - characterised by recurring unwanted thoughts and images (obsessions) and repetitive rituals (compulsions). Some people with BDD have or have had OCD.
Social phobia - a type of anxiety disorder, characterised by fear of interaction with people. A person with social phobia may worry about being judged, criticised, ridiculed or humiliated. If the avoidance is triggered by concerns about their appearance, the underlying problem may be BDD.
Trichotillomania - the irresistible urge to pluck or pull out hairs. If the behaviour is triggered by concerns about appearance, the underlying problem may be BDD. Picking or squeezing at skin blemishes for hours at a time is a similar condition to trichotillomania.
Diagnosis is difficult
Diagnosis of BDD is difficult for many reasons, including:
The person with BDD is more likely to seek help from dermatologists and cosmetic surgeons rather than psychologists and psychiatrists.
The person with BDD is ashamed and doesn't want to seek help from mental health professionals.
This type of mental illness doesn't get much publicity, so some health professionals may not even be aware that BDD exists.
BDD is similar to many other conditions and misdiagnosis is possible.

Treatment options

There has been little research into the effectiveness of treatment for BDD. However, treatments that seem to help the most include:
Cognitive behaviour therapy - training in how to change underlying attitudes in order to think and feel in different ways. This includes learning to tolerate the distress of 'exposing' their perceived defect to others.
Coping and management skills - training in how to cope with symptoms of anxiety. For example, the person may learn relaxation techniques and how to combat hyperventilation.
Drugs - including antidepressant medications, particularly selective serotonin reuptake inhibitors (SSRIs). These drugs help reduce many BDD symptoms, including the compulsive thoughts, depression and anxiety. Generally, drugs are used in combination with psychotherapy.

Where to get help
Your doctor
Local community mental health centre

Things to remember
Body dysmorphic disorder (BDD) is a mental illness characterised by the constant worrying over a perceived or slight defect in appearance.
BDD usually starts in the teenage years, when concern over physical appearance is common.
Treatment includes cognitive behaviour therapy and antidepressant drugs.

i should know becasuse i suffer with this Day in day out my self.

for those people who don't know what B.D.D is now you will.
i still feel suicidal everyday.
i still get laughed at today.
I feel like i am ugly all the time.
I am so scared where i live i am also a social phobic now.
i am scared of children teenagers i have never liked teenagers or children i have always hated them,
01 Jul 2005 CJ why does life have to be so fucking differecalt for some people.
and why do i feel so ugly and why is that stupid.
I don't have no friends or boyfriends or no one in my family who understands my life,
i am going to shoot my self now,

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