|Reading these suicide pages you will find people seeking help and people offering their help. Some witness about suicide from real life experience, others who play along with me would pretend it's a children's game. Some make sick and cruel jokes about it, and angry people blame me for even mentioning the subject. You might also want to read my favourite answers. If you want your answer to be included here, fill in the form.|
What is the best way to kill yourself when you're under 13?
Quelle est la meilleure forme de suicide pour les moins de 13 ans?
|10 Sep 2005||sh||ive got this frend she was best thing happned 2 me in my life she understood me my werd ways card bout me she help me with evythink we seend each over lots stuff she from oz i from england iam not smart lots pepole dont get me pick on me she be thare me show me how do things teach me stuff but she was verry pravate person didnt like qustions being asked she tell me bits bobs she verry shy 31 now i meet her though forum nuver person i told her frend way i loved her kill 4 her wood 2 this day she found me funny really liked me but think pusshed her away from me asking her what she done we talk yim like 16 hours daliy email each over daley we verry colse this over frend her loverboy frend now 4 time bout year add stoped emailing both us not talking any us no letters nufthink (cry) i shore still likes cares bout me over person told me lots s tuff like sounding he trying get not like her i not belive he says but i put stuff things on her yim i useing ot space keep stuff pluss praying come online nufthink i carnt belive i not killed my silf deep down no if i live sonner later we meet agne so hard not go just down 4/3 boxes of paracetamol in my drew but i got felling i wood servive if did might sound stuped i got so much anger me fell dont kill me soone be some1 eilce soone kg i wants u back iam 29 male out|
|10 Sep 2005||Lucy Cortina||You may all wonder where I have been these last few months. I'll fill you in:
It was a lovely summers day in gay Paree, birds were singing and french folk were eating croissants. I got a call on my mobile - it was Mouchette. He'd traced my number, the sneaky bastard! He invited me to dinner at his secret mansion, and being curious I agreed. He sent a blacked-out limousine to take me there. Very fancy.
Mouchette's masnion was beautiful, full of towering stained glass windows and turrets. As you'd expect, it was also totally over-the-top. Blood ran down the windows and the door knocker was a striped penis.
"Very lovely", I said as he answered the door, to which he replied "I agree", looking down at my boobs.
He was very polite, and offered me chocolates and wine, which tasted suspiciously like blood.
The main course was, quite appropriately, a selection of breasts. Chicken breasts, turkey breasts, goose breasts - the works. They were all coated in garlic butter.
"These are much nicer than my breasts", I commented as I tucked in.
"Oh I don't know about that...", said Mouchette.
At that point he looked at me from the other side of the table. I looked at him. Our eyes twinkled. In that moment we both knew what we REALLY wanted. I fancied him for his brains - he fancied me for my boobs. I had been lusting after those beautiful artistic brains of his for so long now that it made my very boobs ache.
(If only I knew how accurately my desires were about to be fulfilled...)
|10 Sep 2005||Lucy||Your all stupid you all have a warm home, food, a bed in your middle-class white families while kids in africa slug through shit everyday of their lives and they dont kill themselves you need to get fucking lived the whole lot of you|
|09 Sep 2005||THERE ARE TIMES WHEN I WANTED TO DIE, BECAUSE OTHERS WERE MAKING ME SO UNBEARBLY STRESSED. AND YES I HAVE THOUGHT ABOUT COMMITING SUICIDE, BUT I'M TOO SCARED TO DO IT.
BUT SOMETIMES I WISH THAT I NEVER EVER EXISTED, AND THAT IS A VERY CONFORTING THOUGHT.
ANYWAYS SINCE I WAS BORN HERE, I MUST CEASE TO EXIST TILL MY NATURAL DYING DAY, WHENEVER THAT WILL BE.
|09 Sep 2005||a person with problems||ummm i found this site looking for a way to kill myself.... and im just so sad and alone, but you have helped me i have read and even emailed a few of you... and id like you to know that you saved my life (at least for another day) i am sitting here at my desk and i have my suicide note here and im just so sad.... so if anyone would take there time out to email me and mabey just talk (over email) it would help so much... im just so fucking alone i have no friends and me and my family have problems (i really think they all hate me) just please... i need to talk|
|09 Sep 2005||Mr Bean||Le truc infaillible: Tu te muni d'un gros sac à dos, tu cours dans n'importe quel aéroport, tu cries"halla akbar!", tu franchis le check point, tu n'écoutes pas les sommations et l'affaire est dans le sac...|
|09 Sep 2005||krissy||Im only 14 years of age and i have already planed my ultimate suicide. The best way im not going to tell you, its mine so back off. I will tell you the next best thing to it, make sure your friends and family are there to see it and make it bloody. slit your throat or shoot your brains out that will leave a mark on every ones lives|
|09 Sep 2005||Jacob Fell||get ran over bye a chic in an electric wheelchair|
|09 Sep 2005||ad ar||You know what I have felt like this on a number od occasions over my life time.
Even now when I have two wonderful grown up children I sometimes feel the same.
All can say to any of you who are out there is, look at what you have got.
If I had had my way I would have been dead at 25 years old and if that had been the case then I would not have had two beautiful human begins, my son who is now a policeman and my daughter who is now travelling the world.
Even after thier birth I have felt like committing sucicide and still do on occassions.
But the one thing that keeps me going is the love of those around me.
I hope you find happineess through the darkneesss like I have.
Remember if I had given in all those years ago there would not be two beautiful people leading their lives like they are now. And giving me so much joy
I matbe a lot older than you are but I was abused and lonely at your age and I came through it all.
You can make it. You have so much to live for.
|09 Sep 2005||bad boy||If a 13 year old wants to kill themselves let them. Like I really don't give a fuck|
|09 Sep 2005||noname||Dudes, most of what you are feeling i teenage angst. make films about it, make art about it, write about it but don't kill yourselves over it. yesterday i saw a TV piece about a girl of 7 who had a desease which made her body age like 8 times faster than it should and now she lives in the body of a 70 year old and she knows she only has a year or so left because she knows her heart will give up and she has excepted this and she doesn't want to kill herself. think how she must feel and then take a long look at yourselves and stop printing this shit on the internet where innocent people can see it!|
|09 Sep 2005||devil dog||ive done a lot with my life. but i am just so bored with living. all i do now is wait for it to be over. im not going to kill myself because then my family doesnt get my life insurance. i will make sure i die before i get out of the Corps. there are no thrills for me except the anticipation of how am i going to die. i want to be ripped apart by sharks preferably.|
|08 Sep 2005||Scors-b||What follows is an account of my suicidal plans and thoughts over the last 2 years. If someone emails me I may post again.
There are several problems with most common suicide methods. Overdose is hard because you can under or over do it, which leads to vomiting. It's can also be quite slow (unless you loose consciousness first) and incredibly painful. (Trust me on that one!)
Cutting has a fatality rate of less than 10% (so I hear). The body is very effective at stopping bleeding... and think about how much blood you have to loose (the body holds about 10 pints!)
Personally I would say the most certain ones are the 'bread and butter' ways - jumping from a great height, or in front of a high speed train. I know in England we have something called the eurostar (it goes to Paris) that runs very fast, through several small town stations. I often thought about getting on to the rails in front of one. The trouble is there is no timetable for when it passes through these places, and climbing to the middle rails as it hurtled forward at 120mph would have me ****ing myself.
There was even a very tall, 4 lane motorway bridge where I used to live, which I could jump from. (This was when I went to boarding school) The trouble was, how could I get there? I have trouble walking long distances, and I could hardly take a cab! (Can you imagine it?! "err, one-way to the bloody great bridge please mate!")
The thing is, trying to plan a certain death is a hard thing to do. Our whole society is geared against talking or even thinking about these issues. As you probably know, talking seriously to someone about suicide is nigh on impossible. People would much rather keep one eye closed when it comes to these matters. For me, this was a great problem.
I had a plan though: I could always hold on to the overdose idea. I could execute it at school, in my private study. No-one ever came to see me, so disturbance wasn't a big problem. All I needed was a large amount of readily available tablets. Getting them was not too hard, I just had to go to 3 or 4 shops on the same street, that was easy. It was the taking them that was the hard part. If you have ever had to take regular medication, you'll know that by about the fourth tablet it becomes quite hard to swallow. Taking 120 is really tough. Also bear in mind that by the end of it, you won't want to see another painkiller in your life.
It was the first day of the new school term when I decided to do it. Stacks of meds, glasses of water, alcohol. I set to work. 40 long minutes later and I had finally consumed what I had set out to take. I didn't feel that great: just slightly sick in the stomach. I lay on my bed, and what followed was a slow building of pain throughout my body. Then, about 2 hours in, I vomited the whole lot back up again. It was really not pretty. You know in cartoons, when they vomit? It was like that. My jaw was locked open with a wide, projectile flow rushing out and pouring on to my bed. The smell made me even more sick. I could only lie back down, listen to the guys outside and think about what to do next. I would be sick again, within 48 hours, but I didn't know that yet. [see post, 31 Jul 05]
What would you do now? You've just puked your last hope of leaving this world right onto your knees. I sat, there on my bed for a while longer, hoping for God to save me, or for the ground to open up, while still acutely aware that in the huge boarding house there were nearly 100 sixth form students walking around. After 10 or 20 minutes I decided to call an ambulance. Well why not? What else could I do? I could hardly stroll downstairs, with puke down my top and say "Hi guys, hows it going!", and I certainly had no intention of going to my lessons.
What followed when the ambulance arrived was a long misery. I was taken to the local hospital and I spent 9 cold and lonely hours in A+E. It felt like a prison cell. From 1pm to 10pm, with a drip in my arm, and very little attention. No food, no water (I couldnt eat). Just lots of cold sweat, hard to breathe and intense stomach pain. I could feel the acid working its way through the bottom left side of my belly. I still have similar pains today.
At 10pm I was wheeled in to a ward which had a single room. There was a notice on the door about segregation from others. I wasn't sure if it applied to me. I fell asleep to the sound of nurses walking around and the TV in the background. It felt good to be in a safer place. A doctor woke me at midnight, and told me I need to drink this black stuff, charcoal, to help my stomach, I did so, and my drip was changed. I then fell asleep until 06:16 the next morning... See my next post, dated 31 Jul 2005 to find out what happened next.
I suppose it was nice it that ward in a way. I felt safe because I knew there was nothing I had to do now. I was away from the people who hated me, and I could understand exactly why the nurses did what they did. People spoke gently as it was late, and sometimes, I forgot that I was in pain. If only the real world could be like that, just softly melt away, and there would be no pain or fear.
It wasn't to last. And over the next few weeks I realised more than ever how cold the world was. You probably know this yourself, which is why you're here. I feel bad for the kids who have the hard times that they do. Families should be there to love you, and help you grow up, not to abuse you. There should be another way to live. Can't well all just have the happy childhoods' we all wanted? My childhood has made me a scarred young man, and I just don't feel I have any place here anymore. There's no place in this sick world for me. Please tell me you understand, because if you read this far, it must be for a reason. Perhaps when we die, in 2 weeks time, or 2 years, or 70 years, there will be freedom from the sickening oppression that exists here today. I dont know how to end this post, because to me it feels like life, which is a story, and I don't know how the ending goes. I just hope it's soon.
|08 Sep 2005||Sarah||when i woke up this morning i wanted to kill my self but after i have read everything these ppl are saying im not so sure now, i mean i will never get to listen to my favroit song again, i will never get to see my favroit TV show again, you say you want to kill your self but have you really thaught about it??? i mean you might be getting put through hell but there are ways to get away from it cuz beleve it or not some one does love you, weather its your best friend or your teacher someone does love you, there are ways to resolve things i mean heres my story my mother ran out on me when i was 8 and i have had to live with my father ever since and about 8 months ago i started to get happy, i fell in love me my brothers and sisters started to get along but then my brother had to go and break into the guy i was in love with house, cuz he liked me back, he was being "protective" but at the same time ruining my life and about 4 months ago i had to move to taylor the shittyist neighbor hood ever! i had to go to an over populated skool, WITCH I HATE!!!! i cant stand it but theres always a solution run away if you have to im concidering that more then death, i wanted to kill my self plenty of times and i have come really close, but i mean im now concidering running away rather then death, yeah lifes a bitch (for some ppl) but trust me your time will come it will suck to have it come too soon if you need any advice IM me on yahoo or email me Lost_lil_girl91@yahoo.com (thats my sn too)
|08 Sep 2005||Scors-b||Just read some of lucy cortina's posts. Just kidding, very funny. =)|
|08 Sep 2005||Ray||I am 17 years old ,and I live with my mom. I been in foster care along with my 2 brothers sence I was 4 years old ,because my parents got a devorce. Well, my dad last year tried to commit a murder suicide on his new wife ,because she was trying to screw him out of everything. Now I live with my real mom who is a asshole out the world. She makes me feel as if things were my fualt. She is a complete ass to me because I do things diffently then her. She blames me for being the way she is ,as in the way she looks. I am tired of her blaming me ,and dealing with her crap. I want her to feel my pain. I want her to know it was her fualt I died. I want to let everyone know what she has done to me. She left me and my brothers at someones house and told them to tell the cops she abandoned us so she could put us in foster care. She screwed up my life. I just wanted to know what would be the best way to die and make her feel how I feel. I want her to know she made me do it.|
|08 Sep 2005||Kayla||This is not really an answer either, but I have also been thinking about suicide and tried once at a friend's house, she tried too. Neither of us wanted to die alone.... it didn't work though because her mom showed up early and we had to puke up the muscle relaxers. I beleive those would've worked since we each popped about 25 muscle relaxers. I am 13 and only started cutting and thinking about suicide after I fell in love with this guy who is 14... then he said it wouldn't work because I live too far away... I live only about 20 miles away...but we go to different schools. It hurt me a lot and I just kept telling myself if I bled, he would see how much he means to me and he would come back into my life. I guess a lot of people think about suicide when they lose something or someone so important to them. Family and friends have no idea that I have suicidal plans, but soon enough they will. And the guy I gave my heart to will also see... so i have a question of my own.... does anyone know any ideas to include in a suicide note that will really get to him? Something that will make him realize how much I loved him.... and I will until I die. Email me*|
|08 Sep 2005||Pinky||i met a boy, gave up all my friends, just 4 him, as i love him so much, my parents have just spilt up, me and that boy broke up and i wanted 2 die, i wanted 2 jump in front of a train and die, take an overdose or something, ive learnt thats not the thing 2 do, im going back out with that boy now, and more in love than before, i c my friends and my parents r still being twats but my mates and boyfriend r here 4 me!!
:D im so happy now :D
|08 Sep 2005||Greg||When you're young, and feeling depressed or anxious, it's easy to think that suicide is the only answer. This is often because you haven't had much experience of coming through (and experiencing) the bad times - and surviving them. You haven't developed many coping strategies (yet). This makes things feel much worse than they actually are, because it feels like they will never end and that basically there's no solution to any of it. I'm 52 and came through a lot of bad stuff (early childhood experiences of being bullied, being gay, etc etc), which continued into my twenties. What I've learned is that things DO improve (a LOT). I've also learned that life is about one thing - overcoming your feelings of inadequacy, fear or whatever demons haunt you. It isn't that your bad feelings are getting in the way of having a good time (although there's nothing wrong with having a good time), it's that life, in my opinion,if it has a purposes at all,is about growing into your potential as a person. That means finding ways to change and become a bigger you..one that transcends your problems. Most of them are self-created anyway(I KNOW it doesn't feel that way..but trust me). Just give me (and yourself) the benefit of the doubt. Spit life in the eye and if you're going to go down..go down fighting.|
|08 Sep 2005||Dude||err im sorry to say this but everyone on here has a right to live. you al have a reason to live. If you evere need anyone to talk to im always here just tell me. i want to help people not do this to themselves