Reading these suicide pages you will find people seeking help and people offering their help. Some witness about suicide from real life experience, others who play along with me would pretend it's a children's game. Some make sick and cruel jokes about it, and angry people blame me for even mentioning the subject. You might also want to read my favourite answers. If you want your answer to be included here, fill in the form.

Date Name/email

Nom/email
What is the best way to kill yourself when you're under 13?

Quelle est la meilleure forme de suicide pour les moins de 13 ans?
31 Mar 2006 philimene This site just made me feel so depressed. No, im not one of those against it. I just hate the fact that there are so many people who have to go through feeling the same way that i do every day. I guess ive always felt like commiting suicide coz i feel so alone all the time. I kno thats kinda stupid as an excuse to want to commit suicide. Ive heard that the best way to commit suicide is to cut your wrists while in a hot bath to numb the pain.
16 Mar 2006 Dr. Phil Seriously, whats wrong with ya ppl? My life aint good either, u fucking overemotial's kid, suicide wont help ya, wont help your friends/relatives either, so why in the fuck woulda ya do it? I mean, gimme a brake, sucide.. ? Sheesh. If you'r guy, and ur fat, instead of spending time whining, go out run or go to gym. If ur girl, just loose it, put some make-up and go out. At the End of the Rainbow, theres the treasure, u just have to endure the pooring rain. :S
08 Feb 2006 I HATE THIS PLACE!! No wonder this person,
Does not reply to peoples messages!
its not real.
How can i put it in better words
I think this site is For the fans of the movie Mouchette. I AMNOT SURE MIND YOU?????????????????
Come to think of it now!!
when i first found this place i thought ths " well this is werid why would some sick person make a site where for people who were under age could just come on line and find this place"r
Think about this people it is not NORMAL to have some thing like this on line.
with out it NOT HAVING A WARNING!
TO BE CLOSED DOWN!!!!
"My name is Mouchette. I live in Amsterdam. I am nearly 13 years old. " This seemingly innocent introduction by a child artist hides the shocking content within Mouchette's website. Allegedly authored by a twelve-year-old French girl, "Mouchette" is a complex site consisting of various secret links, electronic interactive texts, and poems that reveal the multiple faces of the artist, along with her fears and obsessions. Loosely-based on the 1937 book by Georges Bernanos and the 1967 Robert Bresson movie, Mouchette, the website seems to expand upon the basic storyline of the film. The movie portrays a girl suffering from the pains of abuse, an alcoholic father and dying mother. Eventually she finds that her only escape from the hatred and sexual abuse in her life is suicide. Not only does the net artist draw several character similarities to the female protagonist of the film Mouchette, but also relates similar thematic ideas. The various subpages of the site use visually-shocking pictures, images of flesh and blood, and interactive forums of taboo subjects to explore themes of sexual abuse, violence and hatred, and loneliness. The anonymous authorship of the site, as well as the user interface, poses an underlying question of identity, leaving the viewer curious what the true nature of the website. By creating an interactive site that encourages audience participation, Mouchette.org challenges the viewer to confront these disturbing themes and make a decision of further conduct.

Since the website launch in 1996, the true identity of the alter-ego behind Mouchette.org has been a closely-guarded secret. By concealing his or her identity, the artist preserves the first-person nature of the site, thus enhancing the thematic power. In this manner, the artist provokes heated debates of contemporary political and sexual issues. Since the artist-moderator behind the site remains unknown and anonymous; the author her/himself is referred to as merely Mouchette (1).



Mouchette
The incredibly complex Mouchette.org site relies on both the audio and visual components. One key aspect of the site is its variable nature; there are many different opening screens, and the noises that accompany the images are prone to change as well. The opening screen is always a close-up of a flower, with flies moving around it. The fly is a visual allusion to the name, "Mouchette," which literally means "fly" in French. If one clicks on the flies to the right of the screen, it leads to the "Blind Jump" section of the site. The fly in the center of the screen leads to two more pages about flies, then the viewer is confronted with a dead end. In the corner of the homepage is either a photo of a young girl, a drawing of a young girl, or a picture of an older woman. When the arrow is on the picture, a passage appears. One can click on either the picture, or the passage, and it will lead to different pages-the passage always leads to a seemingly public bulletin board about suicide, whereas the picture can lead to different pages, dependent upon which picture is displayed. The artist Mouchette claims that the young girl pictured is herself. Next to the picture, there is a checklist that lists certain "facts" about Mouchette, some of which contain links to other pages. There is also a scrolling menu at the bottom of the page, which says "browse me" and contains a number of vague links leading to different sub-sections of the site.

The confusion and profusion of links and subdivisions within the site lead the viewer to become disoriented. One cannot easily navigate the site, nor can one easily re-trace one's steps; the "back" button often leads to random new pages. There is an abundance of subsites within the site, as well as links to outside sites. One subsite is an apparently "public" bulletin board, upon which people respond to the question: "What is the best way to kill yourself when you are under thirteen?"-a question seemingly posed by the "young girl" behind the site. The respondents leave a variety of messages ranging from attempts to save Mouchette, to bitter notes pushing Mouchette (and her apparently suicidal correspondents) to actually commit the final act. Mouchette also prompts each viewer to fill in his own form and respond. Yet, it is unclear if these responses are filtered, and by whom-or, are the posted ones even written by real people? If everyone can be Mouchette, who is the driving force behind Mouchette?

Upon closer inspection of the website, the viewer can join Mouchette's fan club, which empowers the audience with enhanced participatory powers within the site. Uploaded user text and images become a part of the site and users can respond to Mouchette's "personal" email. Thus Mouchette's email identity remains anonymous and arbitrary in content. Who is the artist that moderates Mouchette? This remains a virtually impossible question to answer. However, even though one can "become Mouchette" according to edit.mouchette.org, this does not open up access to all parts of the site-areas are still moderated by the unknown artist.

The complexity and navigational difficulties of Mouchette.org challenge the audience's ability to interpret. Several of the sites portray unrelated aspects, linked only by one of the common themes. Sexuality appears as an underlying theme in the site, noticeably in images and sounds, but also in subtle colors and presentation. Obvious sexual references include the subpage of sexual pictures and sounds, and the pedophilic references of the "striped penis" subpage. More understated references include the flower imagery on the opening page and the "secret page" where the artist conveys a sexual mood with the use of such words as "softly," "feel," "touchÈ in the dark," and "penetrate." As the mouse is moved, orgasmic sounds are revealed. Sexuality plays a strong thematic role from the beginning of the first webpage. As the page loads, the site emits crying sounds punctuated by seemingly sexual noises. Similar to the Bresson's movie character, Mouchette, the site identifies the juxtaposition between sexual pleasure and anguish. Although sexual, the site does not convey the imagery on a sensual level, instead associating the sexual theme with violent overtones.

Hatred and abuse also appear as major roles in Mouchette's work. Hatred is expressed on several levels in multiple relationships. Mouchette's underlying hate for her parents proves apparent in the subpage http://mouchette.org/flesh/pere.html (1998). Images of "Papa" and "Maman" etched into pieces of raw meat symbolize the minimal flesh-relationship between the daughter and her respective parents. Although presented in an innocent childlike manner, "I got my parents' permission for the web portraits," the gruesome effect of the sanguine raw meat suggests the tension in Mouchette's parental relationships (2).



"Help me"
Mouchette's own hatred for life exists as the climactic moment of the site. The artist presents the notion of a "suicide kit," innocently questioning the audience on a "way for children to play suicideÖ(as) a new kind of toy" in order to find "best way to kill yourself if you're under thirteen." Using this shocking method of inquiry, Mouchette forces the audience to confront the issue of suicide and respond. She then posts the responses in several categories: recent posts, posts seeking help, offering help, real life experiences, cruel jokes, posts that treat suicide as a child's game, and people that blame the artist (Mouchette). Despite the differences in the responses, most user posts appear strongly emotional, compelling the viewer to consider the veracity behind the messages while making a moral decision, first, whether or not to respond, and second, the content of the response. Mouchette posts her favorite answers, and these are not judged according to morality, but on passion. Passionate answers range from posts celebrating the beauty in life, celebrating the romantic notion of death, and everything in between.

Mouchette.org also explores hatred on the personal level between the viewer and the artist. He dedicates an entire section of the site under "hate," for the audience to voice their loathing for the site and the artist (3). Placed upon a unsettling backdrop-a crowd of people covered in crushed tomatoes that resemble bloody flesh-Mouchette incites an honest response from the viewer. The "hate" responses vary from hatred for Mouchette's seemingly apathetic attitude towards life, to disgust for the audacious manner in which taboo subjects are presented, to personal hatred of the artist.

Hatred is also expressed in its most climactic form, violence. Mouchette.org's "Kill the Cat," first unnerves the viewer with the gaping jaws of a cat, accompanied by periodic bloodcurdling screams (4). The screen shakes violently as it becomes apparent that no peaceful ending is achievable and the only escapable solution is to close the browser or use the back command. Thus this page challenges the viewer's notion of a predictable internet with its abrupt display of violence. Also under the "paintings" subpage, clicking the mouse launches two hands, which violently grab for a pig which is drowning in a spilled bowl of soup. In and of themselves, the images are not blatantly violent; however the juxtaposition of a seemingly monstrous hand looming over the defenseless plastic pig seems to be a threatening imbalance of power. The sanguine color of the soup appears as a blood-like substance violently spilled in all directions.

Mouchette also provides a film quiz in which she highlights the important scenes from the movie. Although this quiz was recently banned from the site due to legal warnings from Robert Bresson's estate, an online mirror site still carries the questions (5). Each question reflects the abusive and depressive nature of Mouchette's short life. In one question, Mouchette provides the following answers: "the hut of the poacher who raped me," "home, where my mother just died," "at the cafÈ, to fetch my drunken father," "the pond where I shall be drowning myself." Mouchette uses each film answer to relate the themes of her website. Sexual abuse, domestic problems of abuse and neglect, and suicide commonly arise throughout the quiz. The backdrop of these quotes is composed of forlorn images of Mouchette, further emphasizing her pitiful state to the reader.

Identity is a central theme in Mouchette's website. Although it is never explicitly explored, it is alluded to indirectly through the user forum. Each post requests the specific name and email address of the author, but uncertain identity is the inherent nature of internet interaction. While browsing the site, the viewer is constantly badgered to post his name and email address, in a sense threatening judgment for any response. This imparts a sense of viewer responsibility for actions taken. The viewer does not know to whom his emails are directed nor does he know who will read them. Messages on each user forum are often disconcerting and upsetting; one does not know whether to take them seriously or not. This emotional distance is essential to the artwork. Though Mouchette presents many upsetting, taboo subjects, she does so dispassionately, in an almost apathetic manner. However, after reading the plethora of charged material from Mouchette and the posted respondents it is easy to become desensitized to the unsettling subject matter. This leads to a moral dilemma as the viewer is confronted repeatedly with the possibility of intervention with potentially suicidal individuals.

Mouchette.org operates on many levels expanding upon the overt themes of sexuality, violence, hatred and isolation, using shocking images and sounds, interactive user forums, and morally ambiguous subject matter to highlight her intended themes. This is layered over a fundamental identity question about the authorship of the site and the responses posted on it. Throughout the site, the viewer is constantly confronted with moral decisions. By challenging the viewer with these decisions, Mouchette.org does not allow the user to remain inactive-the viewer is forced to contemplate and take a position on these taboo subjects.

so you see people thats what this site is all about!!
its SICK i know and i hate this place.
WISH I HAD NEVER FOUND IT!!!!!!!!
AND I HOPE YOU ALL HAVE THE SENSE TO TURN AROUND AND WALK AWAY FROM THIS PLACE TO..

I WOULD LIKE TO SEE THIS POSTED ON YOUR FORUM PLEASE..
but i have not got a clue where this site is really located???????????????????????


and if you don't post this i will post this to you antill you do!!!!!!!!!!!!!
01 Feb 2006 bla bla bla i hate my everything 1.At least 2 people in this world love you so much they would die for you.
Why don't they kill themselves?
2. At least 15 people in this world love you in some way.
There are probably more than 15 peadophiles in the world, maybe in the street?
3. The only reason anyone would ever hate you is because they want to be just like you.
Thats not true, i hate everyone cos i DONT wanna be like them
4. A smile from you can bring happiness to anyone, even if they don't like you.
I hate happy people, my life is horrible, why should they smile?
5. Every night, SOMEONE thinks about you before they go to sleep.
See Question 2
6. You mean the world to someone.
See Question 2...
7. If not for you, someone may not be living.
If you kill yourself, you can donate your organs to people who don't hate themselves
8. You are special and unique.
You are the all singing, all dancing crap of the world!
9. Someone that you don't even know exists loves you.
Q2...
10. When you make the biggest mistake ever, something good comes from it.
Unless you totally fuck up and end up on the streets or death row.
11. When you think the world has turned its back on you, take a look: you most likely turned your back on the world.
Blame society
12. When you think you have no chance of getting what you want, you probably won't get it, but if you believe in yourself, probably, sooner or later, you will get it.
MM good old parent theories again. Someone is always going to better than you. I REALLY want to win 30 mil, but someone else did.
13. Always remember the compliments you received. Forget about the rude remarks.
Remember where the people who are rude to live, and burn and sodomise their pets
14. Always tell someone how you feel about them; you will feel much better when they know.
I agree, telling people I hate them makes me feel just ace!
15. If you have a great friend, take the time to let them know that they are great.
If you dont, see how long you can hide in the freezer at the supermarket for.

Peace out you sons and daughters of hairy arm-pitted prostitute !
25 Jan 2006 Sadie G. Listen kid I tried it once and I can tell I've never been fucking happier that I didn't succeed. That was a year ago and now I'm almost 18, I had the same philosophy as you. The thing is I was serious, I really wanted to off myself. You just want attention that's the difference between you and me. If you want attention grow a mohawk. If you want to die kill yourself and get it over with. But don't preach your bull-shit theories to young impressionable kids. God Bless
08 Jan 2006 Melissa I'm suprised as much to see ten/eleven year olds posting on here. I thought these things only occur during mid adolecents. Anyway, it's been on my mind lately. I haven't gont so far as to do anything, but the thoughts are there, like wanting to jump infront of a car, but stopping; holding your breathe till you go purple, but stop; drink so much, till you forget; and most recently taking out all pills but yet to have swallowed them.
Some people have reasons, traumatic sources, but I -- I have no reason hahaha. Philosophically we always search for the truth, the light in which we've binded ourselves from noticing. I saw it once, just a glimpse. And it blinded me. You know where that light exists?.. In our deaths. I see it in my dreams, and I came to figure out what it means. That after life, there is nothing. We grow up, live on, and die. We are only dying since we've been born. So what is the difference from now to when your old? Nothing, except all those so called great experiences you might encouter, not saying that you will, because for some it could just be helll all through the way. The reason I haven't yet to do anything about my discovery is because, for me, I see hope. Slowly it's beginning to fade and that notion is lingering.

My reasons I should say for this aren't really serious, typical teenage angst, but because I came early to acknowledge where my life will lead me makes me choose this pathway. Sure when I was 7 I was molested by my stepdad, hah I pretty much got to 3rd base and no ones knowssss. bwhahaha. My parents are split and married other people, and yes, that stepdad had a child with my mom, I now have a lil brother. My dad's effed in the brain, 3rd wife and their married but in different countries. I went through many stages of loner to being the most popular person in highschool, I've been the fat kid, I've also been the skinny kid, I can be known as once the jock, and the freakish brainaic, -- now I'm just the person who went through it all and nobody pays much mind to me anymore because they just given up. My parents have, my best friends have, and so has I guess, dare I say it, God. Though I don't believe in any sort of deity anymore.

So what's the best way to kill yourself?
-overdose on tylenol about (30 pills)
-cut your wrist on running water
-hang yourself
-buy a gun and shoot yourself
-drink cyanide or moonshine tons of it
-drown in the tub
-get hypthermia
-light yourself on fire
-take sleeping pills
-run infront of a car

If you live close to vancouver mail me back, I'd like to see other peoples reason and if you've concluded the same as me.
01 Jan 2006 ryan johnson are there any forums like this in more of a debate style? philosophically, i have overwhelming evidence to say that life is an incidental, random, and pointless phenomenon. it's not necesarilly harmful, but inconsequential. i saw this, and it seems irrefutable, and this is the most obvious reason i have to end it. this all stemmed from the question " what's so important about being happy?"
to say that life is just the most valuable thing and offer no evidence doesn't really help people, unless they are dim, in which case their death would benefit everyone else's lives
let's see, list of my personal issues with death : when i was about 8-9 i remember thinking a lot about if i disappeared or had never been born, and sometimes i would think about starting a sink and hitting my head on the faucet. for some reason i thought i could just hurt my abdomen, and would try my hardest to squeeze some vital organs (mostly my liver because i could feel it), and usually just hoping i wouldn't wake up every now and then. later, i just decided to think about the entire existence i was leading, and questioning happiness as a motivation kind of unraveled things for me. at 13 i brought a knife to school and tried to cut my wrists, but having no experience or knowledge i gave up. on and off i would try to cut my wrists or strangle myself, but not until about feb of '05 did i do any internet research. now my best bet tieing a belt around my neck, and around a flashlight, and twisting the flashlight until i either cut off a lot of vein flow or can't breathe, depending on what the belt is pressing on. i'm no good at cutting, but i know there's an artery next the the blood donating vein, that's just under the surface, and next to some nerve or tendon. it is a major artery and will kill in under an hour, but i can't bring myself past light scratches.
so, i repeat my question, are there any debates about this, other than the internal struggles in every human worldwide? i'm sick of cop out "life is precious" or "it will all get better" answers, because this is amateur and damaging advice. if you're going to off yourself, do the research and play to your strengths. if your parents have vast amounts of medications, find out the ld50 and take it. no more half attempts for the fashionably miserable, who need the attention in our overpopulated world - leave suicide to the pros.
01 Jan 2006 Lenny Wow, you know Nietzche once said,"If you stare at an abyss for long enough it stares back at you", I'm sure this quote applies to many considering suicide. And while I cannot directly sympathize, I thought I could perhaps provide some insight. You see, I've studied philosophy heavily and extensively over the past 5 years, and over the last 3 years, studied suicide. It was not until recently that I noticed a connection between most philosophy and suicidal theory. They both are detached, and this is my only problem with both. They both are apathetic, and apathy is a terrible thing. It is not my intention to force my religion upon you. But perhaps those who consider suicide, would enjoy some direction. In which case I recccomend a book to read. It is called the Koran. As a modern Mohammadan-or Muslim as we are better known- I find that when I read this book with a relaxed state of mind it gives me direction, powerful direction. I respectfully register this idea to all of you considering ending your life. Just give it a shot, what've you got to lose, nothing. --------- Thank you..
27 Nov 2005 you dont need to know Im 15 years old. I hate my life. I grew up in West Philadelphia in the ghetto and half in Roxborogh with my mom. I tried commiting suicide about 4 times. Overdosing, slitting wrists, tried drowning myself. None if it works. If anyone knows how to do it right and die for real please tell me. I got a gf who im crazy for, but her parents dnt like me and they wnt let me talk to her n be with her. Its making me go crazy. I want to commit suicide really bad. So someone help me out wit a way i can do it.
10 Oct 2005 Someone say Dr.Phil i think all you people need to STOP. Im pretty sure everyone has thought about suicide when there sad. I thought about it today. Because me and my 5 year old sister[who i love with all my heart] where playing and she fell on an umbrella because of me she was rushed to the hospital because the metal cut her neck i cried and cried. Than realized if i killed my self all my dreams would be gone i want to get into harvard and become a judge ,make billions like oprah i have dreams that arnt going to be spoiled. And my sister loves me and im gooing to make sure she has a good life. So basically what im saying is dont kill yourself there is so much to live for!
03 Sep 2005 Phillip Here's a good one how about sitting down with yourself then looking into the mirror and saying if I commit suicide will I really be accomplishing anything, when you did its not like you'll go to a magical place and be whatever you wish, which is probably distorted by the media's portrayal of a perfect person (news flash being rich and famous doesn't make you satisfied) you have to deal with the things you were put into this life with. It was none of your choices to be put on this earth, life is basically a test to see how well you can make sense out of the impossible. Shit doesn't work out for a person in the right way every single time and whoever believes that there is something special about a person on TV is dead wrong, sure there are good people on TV, but doesn't feel good to you when you can look at them knowing they are a bunch of pussies who are paided by a faggot in a suit to make money for them. There is no reason to end your life, its not an easy way out, its only that you think for some reason your worthless when really you have the potential to be 100x greater than the people you hate. Nothing was ever worth while was ever won without true effort and if you want to let some obnoxious faggot on TV, or the person in the school who consistantly puts you down, or your parents who think you ammount to nothin win.....then I think you have to convince yourself something, THAT YOU ARE WORTH MORE THAN ANYTHING PUT ON THIS EARTH IF YOUR USE THE MIND YOU WERE GIVEN AND THE DETERMINATION THAT RESTS IN YOUR HEART TO MAKE YOUR GREATEST DESIRES AND LIFE GOALS A REALITY!

anyone who reads this and still has doubts please email or instant message me at: thesimpsons125@aol.com
09 Aug 2005 Lisa In my opinion, there are two reasons why you might want to kill yourself:
1) You hate life in the sense that you don't like the situation you're being put through
2) You hate life just because it's life, no relation to your situation

If you're killing yourself because of #1, then I don't think you don't really want to kill yourself. Why should you be drived to do something that you don't want to do? Consider it a conspiracy, if you must, and believe in yourself. It's easier said than done, but your world is your world, it's the best you can make out of the worst.

If you're suicidal because of your philosophy on life, then I believe that your reason is justified. You REALLY want to kill yourself because of the nature of your own world. You might be labeled as a psychopath or just mentally ill, but if it's your world, and if it's REALLY what you want to do, I don't think anyone should stop you.

At age 13, the second reason would be extremely rare. Please ask yourself though, do you REALLY want to die becasue you want to die? If the situation gets better, would you still want to die? If and only if you answer "yes" to these questions would (in my opinion) your desire be justified.

It's quite ironic, how people whose life is worse than ours want to live SO badly in their poor conditions, while we sit around here, destroying the earth and playing with death.

Humanity. What can you do about it?
05 Aug 2005 Holly M'kay... I don't have any personal expirences with suicide. I live a healthy, happy life with my caring mother and father. But just last year I met someone. Her name is Tanzie*. I met her online in a chat room. I had absolutly NO clue what she was going through in her life. She always seemed to cover it up so well. We've known each other for about a year now. About 4 months ago she gave me the link to her LiveJournal. So I would read it occasionally. But one day, her entry shocked me. On Livejournals, the give you little quizzes to fill out and what not. One of the questions on this perticular quiz, it said "Do/Did you cut?" And She answered yes. I just kept saying she USED to do it. She USED to do it, not anymore. Well after awhile, she met this guy named Jake*. And I talked to him too and he seemed really nice (Keep this in mind, we're all online buddies). So they went out for a while. But eventually, EVERY SINGLE ONE Of Tanzie's LiveJournal posts was about Jake. How he loved her, how she loved him. Then there were the days where she thought "oh he's cheating on me" or "he deserves better than me" etc. One day, apparently they talked on MSN and he called her some really mean things. She was heart broken. So...I guess she went back to her "old" habbit. She cut. I don't know how many strikes she did, but a lot. Then she posted it on her LJ. So Jake would see what he did to her I guess. I recently read a book about cutting. It's extremely bad for you. So I made her promise me she'd never do that again. Well... bout 4 months later, Jake ticked her off again. And she broke our promise. She cut FIFTEEN TIMES on each leg, and NINE times on each arm. This broke my heart. I couldn't believe she did that. She swore she would never do that again. And not just to me, to everyone else. But she did... And I yelled at her, trying to knock some sence into her head. She immediatly shot back at me with her life story. "My dad beats me when he's drunk, my mom only cares about my brother, my friends push me around and tell me I'm crud, the only one who understood me was my grandpa. And He died. And I watched him....etc". This saddened me horribly. I just couldn't imagine a life like that. I had a great life. I thought everyone else did too. We talked and she swore on her death bed she'd never break our promise again. And as far as I know, she hasn't. So for ANYONE with this horrible hurting yourself though, it's not worth it. Life is a snowball. You roll it uphill for all the good things, but then it will reverse and timble downhill and your life will seem horrible. But that snowball will eventually hit the ground and break, unleashing a brand new you. Life will snowball uphill all over again. I's a cycle.


* Not real names were used.
01 Jul 2005 CJ my school life:
when i was young i was ok looking.
Puberty was very mean to me growing up.i was a thick black haired freak.
when i see some people walking past me from school they stilllaugh at me for that and the fundrasiser they laugh at me for,
I am so ugly.
there are people in my family who rejected mt growing up i got rejected by my peers ( bullied really bad by peers).
Told i was dirty smelly unclean ugly a freak amigher you name it i got it.
LIFE IS NOT FAIR TO ME,
I can't take it as a adult my past.
I'm underdeveloped and alone now i suffer from B.D.D...
Body dysmorphic disorder
Body dysmorphic disorder (BDD) is a mental illness. People who have this illness constantly worry about the way they look. They may think something that isn't there, or that others don't even notice, is a serious defect. The severity of BDD varies. For example, some people know their feelings aren't rational or justified, while others are almost delusional in their conviction.

The preoccupation can be so extreme that the affected person has trouble functioning at work, school or in social situations. Any part of the body can be targeted. It is thought that about one per cent of the population may have BDD, with men and women equally affected. BDD usually starts in the teenage years, when concern over physical appearance is common. Suicide rates among people with BDD are high.

Common areas of concern
Common areas of concern include:

Facial skin.
Face, including the size or shape of the eyes, nose, ears and lips.
Size or shape of virtually any body part including buttocks, thighs, abdomen, legs, breasts and genitals.
Overall size and shape of the body.
Symmetry of the body or particular body parts.
Symptoms
Symptoms can vary according to which body part (or parts) are targeted, but general symptoms of BDD include:
Thinking about the perceived defect for hours every day.
Worrying about their failure to match the 'physical perfection' of models and celebrities.
Distress about their preoccupation.
Constantly asking trusted loved ones for reassurance about their looks, but not believing the answer.
Constantly looking at their reflection, or else taking pains to avoid catching their reflection (for example, throwing away or covering up mirrors).
Constant dieting and overexercising.
Grooming to excess - for example, shaving the same patch of skin over and over.
Avoiding any situation they feel will call attention to their defect. In extreme cases, this can mean never leaving home.
Taking great pains to hide or camouflage the 'defect'.
Squeezing or picking at skin blemishes for hours on end.
Wanting dermatological treatment or cosmetic surgery, even when professionals believe the treatment is unnecessary.
Repeat cosmetic surgery procedures, especially if the same body part is being 'improved' with each procedure.
Depression and anxiety, including suicidal thoughts.
The cause is unknown
The cause of BDD is unknown. Theories include:
A person with BDD has a genetic tendency to develop this type of mental illness. The trigger may be the stress of adolescence.
Particular drugs, such as ecstasy, may trigger onset in susceptible people.
BDD could be caused by chemical imbalances in the brain.
A person with low self-esteem who has impossible standards of perfection judges some part of their body as ugly. Over time, this behaviour becomes more and more compulsive.
Western society's narrow standards of beauty may trigger BDD in vulnerable people.
Similarities to other conditions
BDD is similar to other conditions, including:
Agoraphobia - a type of anxiety disorder characterised by the fear of situations or places from which escape seems difficult. In extreme cases, a person with agoraphobia is housebound. However, a person who stays home out of fear of publicly exposing their defect may have BDD instead of agoraphobia.
Anorexia nervosa - BDD is often misdiagnosed as anorexia nervosa because of the preoccupation with appearance. However, anorexia nervosa is characterised by the drive to control one's weight. It's possible for a person to have anorexia nervosa and BDD at the same time.
Apotemnophilia - the desire to have part of the body amputated, usually a limb, in order to feel 'whole'. Surgery seems to be an effective treatment for apotemnophilia, which isn't the case for BDD.
Hypochondriasis - the preoccupation with the development of disease. However, the person with BDD is preoccupied with their looks, not their health.
Obsessive compulsive disorder (OCD) - characterised by recurring unwanted thoughts and images (obsessions) and repetitive rituals (compulsions). Some people with BDD have or have had OCD.
Social phobia - a type of anxiety disorder, characterised by fear of interaction with people. A person with social phobia may worry about being judged, criticised, ridiculed or humiliated. If the avoidance is triggered by concerns about their appearance, the underlying problem may be BDD.
Trichotillomania - the irresistible urge to pluck or pull out hairs. If the behaviour is triggered by concerns about appearance, the underlying problem may be BDD. Picking or squeezing at skin blemishes for hours at a time is a similar condition to trichotillomania.
Diagnosis is difficult
Diagnosis of BDD is difficult for many reasons, including:
The person with BDD is more likely to seek help from dermatologists and cosmetic surgeons rather than psychologists and psychiatrists.
The person with BDD is ashamed and doesn't want to seek help from mental health professionals.
This type of mental illness doesn't get much publicity, so some health professionals may not even be aware that BDD exists.
BDD is similar to many other conditions and misdiagnosis is possible.


Treatment options

There has been little research into the effectiveness of treatment for BDD. However, treatments that seem to help the most include:
Cognitive behaviour therapy - training in how to change underlying attitudes in order to think and feel in different ways. This includes learning to tolerate the distress of 'exposing' their perceived defect to others.
Coping and management skills - training in how to cope with symptoms of anxiety. For example, the person may learn relaxation techniques and how to combat hyperventilation.
Drugs - including antidepressant medications, particularly selective serotonin reuptake inhibitors (SSRIs). These drugs help reduce many BDD symptoms, including the compulsive thoughts, depression and anxiety. Generally, drugs are used in combination with psychotherapy.


Where to get help
Your doctor
Local community mental health centre
Psychologist
Psychiatrist

Things to remember
Body dysmorphic disorder (BDD) is a mental illness characterised by the constant worrying over a perceived or slight defect in appearance.
BDD usually starts in the teenage years, when concern over physical appearance is common.
Treatment includes cognitive behaviour therapy and antidepressant drugs.

i should know becasuse i suffer with this Day in day out my self.

for those people who don't know what B.D.D is now you will.
IF ANYONE ELSE HERE SUFFERERS WITH IT READ THIS,
i still feel suicidal everyday.
i still get laughed at today.
I feel like i am ugly all the time.
I am so scared where i live i am also a social phobic now.
i am scared of children teenagers i have never liked teenagers or children i have always hated them,
22 Jun 2005 Lord Jhon Crapper HEEEELLLLOOO my favourite bunch of freaks!! Now let's take a quizz, ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls! Tonight, our quizz will be about the people who come to this sight! Okay now! I'd like everyone to raise there hand if they are a pedophile who arrived at this sight because of the words "under thirteen" that they put in the search engine! Great! That's great! Now, keep you're hands up if you're a pedophile who came here because of that, but who has since developed a fetish for suicide?! Oh golly gee, that's wonderful! No, keep you're hands up people, you're doing just great! Now I want you to raise you hand if, when you consider it deeply enough, there seems to be a strange correlation between your period and your "suicide" attempts? Is there? Wowowow! It's looks like there is!!
Man, this sight is fucking raw!! IT IS SO FUCKING WRONG TO HAVE SOMETHING LIKE THIS ON THE NET!! I feel sorry as hell for anyone who is depressed, but the only way you are going to change shit is by helping yourself, which there are friggin' plenty of ways to do. Jesus, I bet there are hundreds of sick freaks who get off on this sight; who actually become horny from reading about your misfortunes and you being abused and beaten and all that. Fucking think about that before you write it down. Some sick fuck is beating off to that shit. THAT IS FUCKING RANCID!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Well, anyway, I'm sorry to say that in human nature there is nothing that is going to rescue you. You have to rescue yourself.............................................
To put it in the words of Muse:
damnit... i can't remember what those words are... lol.
07 Jun 2005 phil Hello !

Pour ma part, je pense que celà réside dans le fait de ne plus poser ni se poser de questions ! tu es sauvée !
01 Jun 2005 Rusty Shaklefurd To start let me tell you the reasons I don't want to commit suicide.

1.Loveing family,both parents together,1 brother,4 sisters.

2.I have great friends.

3.Great community.

Why I will commit suicide.

I am terminally ill from cancer and 14 now.Doctors don't expect me to live past 17.Kemo stopped working when I was 12,I am in pain every day and it's only going to get worst.

O Yeah! The best wat to kill your self if your under 13 is to go online,meet a pedophile,tell him your age and that your a girl even if your not,and go meet him in a public place,most likely he'll some how get you to go back home with him(to his mothers basement)rape you kill you and dump your body in a park.
23 May 2005 SPRITEZ RIGHT MOUCHETTE
THIS IS A WARNING
YOU MUST REMOVE THIS SITE IMMEDIATLY
IT IS ILLEGAL TOWARDS PROTECTION OF CHILDEEN IF YOU DO NOT REMOVE THIS WEBSITE IM AFRAID I WILL HAVE TO REPORT IT TO THE INTERNET CRIME WATCH WHO WILL THEN DEAL WITH IT IN ACCORDANCE WITH LAW AND LEGAL ACTION COULD BE TAKEN AGAINST YOU WITH A PENALTY FARE OF UP TO 5 YEARS IN PRISON OR A FINE OF $3000 NOW TAKE IT OFF YOU DISGRASEFULL COW ! AND ALSO ANY CHILDREN ON HERE LEAVE IMMEDIATLY! THIS WEBSITE IS VERY RUDE AND YOU BETTER TAKE IT OFF BECAUSE I SWEAR TO YOU YOU FUCKING CUNT I WILL MURDER YOU IF I HAD THE CHANCE RIGHT NOW U BASTURD HAVE SOME RESPECT YOU COW, ALSO CHILDREN MOUCHETTE (THE WEBMASTER OF THIS WEBSITE) IS NOT SUICIDAL THIS WEBSITE WAS IN MOST POSSIBILITIES CREATED FOR HIS OWN AMUSEMENT. IT BREAKS ALL LAWS OF THE DATA ACT AND HE IS ALSO MOST PRBABLY A PEDOPHILE WHO IS TRYING HIS BEST TO AFFECT CHILDREN NOW TAKE IT DOWN U BASTURD YOU WOULDNT LIKE IT WOULD YOU IF YOU WERE DEPRESSED ANY FUCKING QUERIES EMAIL ME ON snazzykid@gmail.com U FUCKING CUNT AND IF I SEE THIS MESSAGE IS NOT ON YOUR SITE I WILL REPORT YOU! MOTHER FUCKER
06 May 2005 Keith Hey I just had the best day ever. I proposed to my girlfriend and she said yes. I also made an A on my Philosophy term paper. Then me and my girlfriend had the best sex of our lives. My band played a killer show earlier today too. We each made about $650 each for our performance. Life is so good. :) I'm gonna go blow my head off with a shotgun at my family reunion today. :) Have a nice day to everyone else. I know I did :)
28 Apr 2005 arnel find a psychotic pedophile so that way you will make the headlines when you die

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