|Reading these suicide pages you will find people seeking help and people offering their help. Some witness about suicide from real life experience, others who play along with me would pretend it's a children's game. Some make sick and cruel jokes about it, and angry people blame me for even mentioning the subject. You might also want to read my favourite answers. If you want your answer to be included here, fill in the form.|
What is the best way to kill yourself when you're under 13?
Quelle est la meilleure forme de suicide pour les moins de 13 ans?
|08 Jan 2006||Melissa||I'm suprised as much to see ten/eleven year olds posting on here. I thought these things only occur during mid adolecents. Anyway, it's been on my mind lately. I haven't gont so far as to do anything, but the thoughts are there, like wanting to jump infront of a car, but stopping; holding your breathe till you go purple, but stop; drink so much, till you forget; and most recently taking out all pills but yet to have swallowed them.
Some people have reasons, traumatic sources, but I -- I have no reason hahaha. Philosophically we always search for the truth, the light in which we've binded ourselves from noticing. I saw it once, just a glimpse. And it blinded me. You know where that light exists?.. In our deaths. I see it in my dreams, and I came to figure out what it means. That after life, there is nothing. We grow up, live on, and die. We are only dying since we've been born. So what is the difference from now to when your old? Nothing, except all those so called great experiences you might encouter, not saying that you will, because for some it could just be helll all through the way. The reason I haven't yet to do anything about my discovery is because, for me, I see hope. Slowly it's beginning to fade and that notion is lingering.
My reasons I should say for this aren't really serious, typical teenage angst, but because I came early to acknowledge where my life will lead me makes me choose this pathway. Sure when I was 7 I was molested by my stepdad, hah I pretty much got to 3rd base and no ones knowssss. bwhahaha. My parents are split and married other people, and yes, that stepdad had a child with my mom, I now have a lil brother. My dad's effed in the brain, 3rd wife and their married but in different countries. I went through many stages of loner to being the most popular person in highschool, I've been the fat kid, I've also been the skinny kid, I can be known as once the jock, and the freakish brainaic, -- now I'm just the person who went through it all and nobody pays much mind to me anymore because they just given up. My parents have, my best friends have, and so has I guess, dare I say it, God. Though I don't believe in any sort of deity anymore.
So what's the best way to kill yourself?
-overdose on tylenol about (30 pills)
-cut your wrist on running water
-buy a gun and shoot yourself
-drink cyanide or moonshine tons of it
-drown in the tub
-light yourself on fire
-take sleeping pills
-run infront of a car
If you live close to vancouver mail me back, I'd like to see other peoples reason and if you've concluded the same as me.
|01 Jan 2006||ryan johnson||are there any forums like this in more of a debate style? philosophically, i have overwhelming evidence to say that life is an incidental, random, and pointless phenomenon. it's not necesarilly harmful, but inconsequential. i saw this, and it seems irrefutable, and this is the most obvious reason i have to end it. this all stemmed from the question " what's so important about being happy?"
to say that life is just the most valuable thing and offer no evidence doesn't really help people, unless they are dim, in which case their death would benefit everyone else's lives
let's see, list of my personal issues with death : when i was about 8-9 i remember thinking a lot about if i disappeared or had never been born, and sometimes i would think about starting a sink and hitting my head on the faucet. for some reason i thought i could just hurt my abdomen, and would try my hardest to squeeze some vital organs (mostly my liver because i could feel it), and usually just hoping i wouldn't wake up every now and then. later, i just decided to think about the entire existence i was leading, and questioning happiness as a motivation kind of unraveled things for me. at 13 i brought a knife to school and tried to cut my wrists, but having no experience or knowledge i gave up. on and off i would try to cut my wrists or strangle myself, but not until about feb of '05 did i do any internet research. now my best bet tieing a belt around my neck, and around a flashlight, and twisting the flashlight until i either cut off a lot of vein flow or can't breathe, depending on what the belt is pressing on. i'm no good at cutting, but i know there's an artery next the the blood donating vein, that's just under the surface, and next to some nerve or tendon. it is a major artery and will kill in under an hour, but i can't bring myself past light scratches.
so, i repeat my question, are there any debates about this, other than the internal struggles in every human worldwide? i'm sick of cop out "life is precious" or "it will all get better" answers, because this is amateur and damaging advice. if you're going to off yourself, do the research and play to your strengths. if your parents have vast amounts of medications, find out the ld50 and take it. no more half attempts for the fashionably miserable, who need the attention in our overpopulated world - leave suicide to the pros.
|01 Jan 2006||Lenny||Wow, you know Nietzche once said,"If you stare at an abyss for long enough it stares back at you", I'm sure this quote applies to many considering suicide. And while I cannot directly sympathize, I thought I could perhaps provide some insight. You see, I've studied philosophy heavily and extensively over the past 5 years, and over the last 3 years, studied suicide. It was not until recently that I noticed a connection between most philosophy and suicidal theory. They both are detached, and this is my only problem with both. They both are apathetic, and apathy is a terrible thing. It is not my intention to force my religion upon you. But perhaps those who consider suicide, would enjoy some direction. In which case I recccomend a book to read. It is called the Koran. As a modern Mohammadan-or Muslim as we are better known- I find that when I read this book with a relaxed state of mind it gives me direction, powerful direction. I respectfully register this idea to all of you considering ending your life. Just give it a shot, what've you got to lose, nothing. --------- Thank you..|
|27 Nov 2005||you dont need to know||Im 15 years old. I hate my life. I grew up in West Philadelphia in the ghetto and half in Roxborogh with my mom. I tried commiting suicide about 4 times. Overdosing, slitting wrists, tried drowning myself. None if it works. If anyone knows how to do it right and die for real please tell me. I got a gf who im crazy for, but her parents dnt like me and they wnt let me talk to her n be with her. Its making me go crazy. I want to commit suicide really bad. So someone help me out wit a way i can do it.|
|10 Oct 2005||Someone say Dr.Phil||i think all you people need to STOP. Im pretty sure everyone has thought about suicide when there sad. I thought about it today. Because me and my 5 year old sister[who i love with all my heart] where playing and she fell on an umbrella because of me she was rushed to the hospital because the metal cut her neck i cried and cried. Than realized if i killed my self all my dreams would be gone i want to get into harvard and become a judge ,make billions like oprah i have dreams that arnt going to be spoiled. And my sister loves me and im gooing to make sure she has a good life. So basically what im saying is dont kill yourself there is so much to live for!|
|03 Sep 2005||Phillip||Here's a good one how about sitting down with yourself then looking into the mirror and saying if I commit suicide will I really be accomplishing anything, when you did its not like you'll go to a magical place and be whatever you wish, which is probably distorted by the media's portrayal of a perfect person (news flash being rich and famous doesn't make you satisfied) you have to deal with the things you were put into this life with. It was none of your choices to be put on this earth, life is basically a test to see how well you can make sense out of the impossible. Shit doesn't work out for a person in the right way every single time and whoever believes that there is something special about a person on TV is dead wrong, sure there are good people on TV, but doesn't feel good to you when you can look at them knowing they are a bunch of pussies who are paided by a faggot in a suit to make money for them. There is no reason to end your life, its not an easy way out, its only that you think for some reason your worthless when really you have the potential to be 100x greater than the people you hate. Nothing was ever worth while was ever won without true effort and if you want to let some obnoxious faggot on TV, or the person in the school who consistantly puts you down, or your parents who think you ammount to nothin win.....then I think you have to convince yourself something, THAT YOU ARE WORTH MORE THAN ANYTHING PUT ON THIS EARTH IF YOUR USE THE MIND YOU WERE GIVEN AND THE DETERMINATION THAT RESTS IN YOUR HEART TO MAKE YOUR GREATEST DESIRES AND LIFE GOALS A REALITY!
anyone who reads this and still has doubts please email or instant message me at: email@example.com
|09 Aug 2005||Lisa||In my opinion, there are two reasons why you might want to kill yourself:
1) You hate life in the sense that you don't like the situation you're being put through
2) You hate life just because it's life, no relation to your situation
If you're killing yourself because of #1, then I don't think you don't really want to kill yourself. Why should you be drived to do something that you don't want to do? Consider it a conspiracy, if you must, and believe in yourself. It's easier said than done, but your world is your world, it's the best you can make out of the worst.
If you're suicidal because of your philosophy on life, then I believe that your reason is justified. You REALLY want to kill yourself because of the nature of your own world. You might be labeled as a psychopath or just mentally ill, but if it's your world, and if it's REALLY what you want to do, I don't think anyone should stop you.
At age 13, the second reason would be extremely rare. Please ask yourself though, do you REALLY want to die becasue you want to die? If the situation gets better, would you still want to die? If and only if you answer "yes" to these questions would (in my opinion) your desire be justified.
It's quite ironic, how people whose life is worse than ours want to live SO badly in their poor conditions, while we sit around here, destroying the earth and playing with death.
Humanity. What can you do about it?
|05 Aug 2005||Holly||M'kay... I don't have any personal expirences with suicide. I live a healthy, happy life with my caring mother and father. But just last year I met someone. Her name is Tanzie*. I met her online in a chat room. I had absolutly NO clue what she was going through in her life. She always seemed to cover it up so well. We've known each other for about a year now. About 4 months ago she gave me the link to her LiveJournal. So I would read it occasionally. But one day, her entry shocked me. On Livejournals, the give you little quizzes to fill out and what not. One of the questions on this perticular quiz, it said "Do/Did you cut?" And She answered yes. I just kept saying she USED to do it. She USED to do it, not anymore. Well after awhile, she met this guy named Jake*. And I talked to him too and he seemed really nice (Keep this in mind, we're all online buddies). So they went out for a while. But eventually, EVERY SINGLE ONE Of Tanzie's LiveJournal posts was about Jake. How he loved her, how she loved him. Then there were the days where she thought "oh he's cheating on me" or "he deserves better than me" etc. One day, apparently they talked on MSN and he called her some really mean things. She was heart broken. So...I guess she went back to her "old" habbit. She cut. I don't know how many strikes she did, but a lot. Then she posted it on her LJ. So Jake would see what he did to her I guess. I recently read a book about cutting. It's extremely bad for you. So I made her promise me she'd never do that again. Well... bout 4 months later, Jake ticked her off again. And she broke our promise. She cut FIFTEEN TIMES on each leg, and NINE times on each arm. This broke my heart. I couldn't believe she did that. She swore she would never do that again. And not just to me, to everyone else. But she did... And I yelled at her, trying to knock some sence into her head. She immediatly shot back at me with her life story. "My dad beats me when he's drunk, my mom only cares about my brother, my friends push me around and tell me I'm crud, the only one who understood me was my grandpa. And He died. And I watched him....etc". This saddened me horribly. I just couldn't imagine a life like that. I had a great life. I thought everyone else did too. We talked and she swore on her death bed she'd never break our promise again. And as far as I know, she hasn't. So for ANYONE with this horrible hurting yourself though, it's not worth it. Life is a snowball. You roll it uphill for all the good things, but then it will reverse and timble downhill and your life will seem horrible. But that snowball will eventually hit the ground and break, unleashing a brand new you. Life will snowball uphill all over again. I's a cycle.
* Not real names were used.
|01 Jul 2005||CJ||my school life:
when i was young i was ok looking.
Puberty was very mean to me growing up.i was a thick black haired freak.
when i see some people walking past me from school they stilllaugh at me for that and the fundrasiser they laugh at me for,
I am so ugly.
there are people in my family who rejected mt growing up i got rejected by my peers ( bullied really bad by peers).
Told i was dirty smelly unclean ugly a freak amigher you name it i got it.
LIFE IS NOT FAIR TO ME,
I can't take it as a adult my past.
I'm underdeveloped and alone now i suffer from B.D.D...
Body dysmorphic disorder
Body dysmorphic disorder (BDD) is a mental illness. People who have this illness constantly worry about the way they look. They may think something that isn't there, or that others don't even notice, is a serious defect. The severity of BDD varies. For example, some people know their feelings aren't rational or justified, while others are almost delusional in their conviction.
The preoccupation can be so extreme that the affected person has trouble functioning at work, school or in social situations. Any part of the body can be targeted. It is thought that about one per cent of the population may have BDD, with men and women equally affected. BDD usually starts in the teenage years, when concern over physical appearance is common. Suicide rates among people with BDD are high.
Common areas of concern
Common areas of concern include:
Face, including the size or shape of the eyes, nose, ears and lips.
Size or shape of virtually any body part including buttocks, thighs, abdomen, legs, breasts and genitals.
Overall size and shape of the body.
Symmetry of the body or particular body parts.
Symptoms can vary according to which body part (or parts) are targeted, but general symptoms of BDD include:
Thinking about the perceived defect for hours every day.
Worrying about their failure to match the 'physical perfection' of models and celebrities.
Distress about their preoccupation.
Constantly asking trusted loved ones for reassurance about their looks, but not believing the answer.
Constantly looking at their reflection, or else taking pains to avoid catching their reflection (for example, throwing away or covering up mirrors).
Constant dieting and overexercising.
Grooming to excess - for example, shaving the same patch of skin over and over.
Avoiding any situation they feel will call attention to their defect. In extreme cases, this can mean never leaving home.
Taking great pains to hide or camouflage the 'defect'.
Squeezing or picking at skin blemishes for hours on end.
Wanting dermatological treatment or cosmetic surgery, even when professionals believe the treatment is unnecessary.
Repeat cosmetic surgery procedures, especially if the same body part is being 'improved' with each procedure.
Depression and anxiety, including suicidal thoughts.
The cause is unknown
The cause of BDD is unknown. Theories include:
A person with BDD has a genetic tendency to develop this type of mental illness. The trigger may be the stress of adolescence.
Particular drugs, such as ecstasy, may trigger onset in susceptible people.
BDD could be caused by chemical imbalances in the brain.
A person with low self-esteem who has impossible standards of perfection judges some part of their body as ugly. Over time, this behaviour becomes more and more compulsive.
Western society's narrow standards of beauty may trigger BDD in vulnerable people.
Similarities to other conditions
BDD is similar to other conditions, including:
Agoraphobia - a type of anxiety disorder characterised by the fear of situations or places from which escape seems difficult. In extreme cases, a person with agoraphobia is housebound. However, a person who stays home out of fear of publicly exposing their defect may have BDD instead of agoraphobia.
Anorexia nervosa - BDD is often misdiagnosed as anorexia nervosa because of the preoccupation with appearance. However, anorexia nervosa is characterised by the drive to control one's weight. It's possible for a person to have anorexia nervosa and BDD at the same time.
Apotemnophilia - the desire to have part of the body amputated, usually a limb, in order to feel 'whole'. Surgery seems to be an effective treatment for apotemnophilia, which isn't the case for BDD.
Hypochondriasis - the preoccupation with the development of disease. However, the person with BDD is preoccupied with their looks, not their health.
Obsessive compulsive disorder (OCD) - characterised by recurring unwanted thoughts and images (obsessions) and repetitive rituals (compulsions). Some people with BDD have or have had OCD.
Social phobia - a type of anxiety disorder, characterised by fear of interaction with people. A person with social phobia may worry about being judged, criticised, ridiculed or humiliated. If the avoidance is triggered by concerns about their appearance, the underlying problem may be BDD.
Trichotillomania - the irresistible urge to pluck or pull out hairs. If the behaviour is triggered by concerns about appearance, the underlying problem may be BDD. Picking or squeezing at skin blemishes for hours at a time is a similar condition to trichotillomania.
Diagnosis is difficult
Diagnosis of BDD is difficult for many reasons, including:
The person with BDD is more likely to seek help from dermatologists and cosmetic surgeons rather than psychologists and psychiatrists.
The person with BDD is ashamed and doesn't want to seek help from mental health professionals.
This type of mental illness doesn't get much publicity, so some health professionals may not even be aware that BDD exists.
BDD is similar to many other conditions and misdiagnosis is possible.
There has been little research into the effectiveness of treatment for BDD. However, treatments that seem to help the most include:
Cognitive behaviour therapy - training in how to change underlying attitudes in order to think and feel in different ways. This includes learning to tolerate the distress of 'exposing' their perceived defect to others.
Coping and management skills - training in how to cope with symptoms of anxiety. For example, the person may learn relaxation techniques and how to combat hyperventilation.
Drugs - including antidepressant medications, particularly selective serotonin reuptake inhibitors (SSRIs). These drugs help reduce many BDD symptoms, including the compulsive thoughts, depression and anxiety. Generally, drugs are used in combination with psychotherapy.
Where to get help
Local community mental health centre
Things to remember
Body dysmorphic disorder (BDD) is a mental illness characterised by the constant worrying over a perceived or slight defect in appearance.
BDD usually starts in the teenage years, when concern over physical appearance is common.
Treatment includes cognitive behaviour therapy and antidepressant drugs.
i should know becasuse i suffer with this Day in day out my self.
for those people who don't know what B.D.D is now you will.
IF ANYONE ELSE HERE SUFFERERS WITH IT READ THIS,
i still feel suicidal everyday.
i still get laughed at today.
I feel like i am ugly all the time.
I am so scared where i live i am also a social phobic now.
i am scared of children teenagers i have never liked teenagers or children i have always hated them,
|22 Jun 2005||Lord Jhon Crapper||HEEEELLLLOOO my favourite bunch of freaks!! Now let's take a quizz, ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls! Tonight, our quizz will be about the people who come to this sight! Okay now! I'd like everyone to raise there hand if they are a pedophile who arrived at this sight because of the words "under thirteen" that they put in the search engine! Great! That's great! Now, keep you're hands up if you're a pedophile who came here because of that, but who has since developed a fetish for suicide?! Oh golly gee, that's wonderful! No, keep you're hands up people, you're doing just great! Now I want you to raise you hand if, when you consider it deeply enough, there seems to be a strange correlation between your period and your "suicide" attempts? Is there? Wowowow! It's looks like there is!!
Man, this sight is fucking raw!! IT IS SO FUCKING WRONG TO HAVE SOMETHING LIKE THIS ON THE NET!! I feel sorry as hell for anyone who is depressed, but the only way you are going to change shit is by helping yourself, which there are friggin' plenty of ways to do. Jesus, I bet there are hundreds of sick freaks who get off on this sight; who actually become horny from reading about your misfortunes and you being abused and beaten and all that. Fucking think about that before you write it down. Some sick fuck is beating off to that shit. THAT IS FUCKING RANCID!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Well, anyway, I'm sorry to say that in human nature there is nothing that is going to rescue you. You have to rescue yourself.............................................
To put it in the words of Muse:
damnit... i can't remember what those words are... lol.
|07 Jun 2005||phil||Hello !
Pour ma part, je pense que celà réside dans le fait de ne plus poser ni se poser de questions ! tu es sauvée !
|01 Jun 2005||Rusty Shaklefurd||To start let me tell you the reasons I don't want to commit suicide.
1.Loveing family,both parents together,1 brother,4 sisters.
2.I have great friends.
Why I will commit suicide.
I am terminally ill from cancer and 14 now.Doctors don't expect me to live past 17.Kemo stopped working when I was 12,I am in pain every day and it's only going to get worst.
O Yeah! The best wat to kill your self if your under 13 is to go online,meet a pedophile,tell him your age and that your a girl even if your not,and go meet him in a public place,most likely he'll some how get you to go back home with him(to his mothers basement)rape you kill you and dump your body in a park.
|23 May 2005||SPRITEZ||RIGHT MOUCHETTE
THIS IS A WARNING
YOU MUST REMOVE THIS SITE IMMEDIATLY
IT IS ILLEGAL TOWARDS PROTECTION OF CHILDEEN IF YOU DO NOT REMOVE THIS WEBSITE IM AFRAID I WILL HAVE TO REPORT IT TO THE INTERNET CRIME WATCH WHO WILL THEN DEAL WITH IT IN ACCORDANCE WITH LAW AND LEGAL ACTION COULD BE TAKEN AGAINST YOU WITH A PENALTY FARE OF UP TO 5 YEARS IN PRISON OR A FINE OF $3000 NOW TAKE IT OFF YOU DISGRASEFULL COW ! AND ALSO ANY CHILDREN ON HERE LEAVE IMMEDIATLY! THIS WEBSITE IS VERY RUDE AND YOU BETTER TAKE IT OFF BECAUSE I SWEAR TO YOU YOU FUCKING CUNT I WILL MURDER YOU IF I HAD THE CHANCE RIGHT NOW U BASTURD HAVE SOME RESPECT YOU COW, ALSO CHILDREN MOUCHETTE (THE WEBMASTER OF THIS WEBSITE) IS NOT SUICIDAL THIS WEBSITE WAS IN MOST POSSIBILITIES CREATED FOR HIS OWN AMUSEMENT. IT BREAKS ALL LAWS OF THE DATA ACT AND HE IS ALSO MOST PRBABLY A PEDOPHILE WHO IS TRYING HIS BEST TO AFFECT CHILDREN NOW TAKE IT DOWN U BASTURD YOU WOULDNT LIKE IT WOULD YOU IF YOU WERE DEPRESSED ANY FUCKING QUERIES EMAIL ME ON firstname.lastname@example.org U FUCKING CUNT AND IF I SEE THIS MESSAGE IS NOT ON YOUR SITE I WILL REPORT YOU! MOTHER FUCKER
|06 May 2005||Keith||Hey I just had the best day ever. I proposed to my girlfriend and she said yes. I also made an A on my Philosophy term paper. Then me and my girlfriend had the best sex of our lives. My band played a killer show earlier today too. We each made about $650 each for our performance. Life is so good. :) I'm gonna go blow my head off with a shotgun at my family reunion today. :) Have a nice day to everyone else. I know I did :)|
|28 Apr 2005||arnel||find a psychotic pedophile so that way you will make the headlines when you die|
|15 Apr 2005||Cherish||purposley look for sick pedophile rapist/murderer on the internet and go out on a date with them.|
|13 Feb 2005||Brandon||After reading about other people lives, and despite how horrible they have been, they continue to live. It makes me wonder about why I want to die. I've had a pretty decent life: parents who actually care about me, good friends I've somehow made despite how pathetic I am, and something of a future ahead of me. I'm 18 years old right now, and I've only been having suicidal thoughts since I was 16. Kind of sad really, that I would want to kill myself despite the fact that I've had a pretty good life. I can't quite explain it myself. Since puberty, I've always thought about the "big" questions. Why are we here? Why even bother? But really it was only dabbling in philosophy rather than a genuine wish to snuff out my own existance. I was curious about death, but in an intellectual fashion. But a little after I turned 16, my thoughts focused more and more on suicide. Still, it wasn't so bad that I tried to kill myself, but I bitterly questioned what the fucking point to living was. I probably started suffering from depression at this point, but honestly I can't remember the exact time. So these thoughts kept developing, each day it seemed worse, but I was still able to cope. However, life is hardly so simple. This is going to sound trite, but things got complicated when I met this girl. To this point in my life, I never was in love before, and it hit me like a sledgehammer in the chest. This girl, she was, is, wonderful. I know she isn't perfect, but that's not important. The important thing was that I believed that I had found a reason for existing, something to make life worthwhile. I do not throw the word 'love' around so callously. I would die for her. I can't really describe why I feel that way about her, the fact that I love her for who she is will have to suffice. And no, I don't love her because she's physically attractive (though I believe she is the most beautiful girl in the world), but rather (and this is going to sound very lame) because of the beauty of her soul. From the moment she spoke to me, I knew I could spend the rest of my life with her. She made me forget about all my horrible thoughts, and my desire to kill myself. For the first month it was fine, but of course I wanted to express how I felt. Naturally, I was rejected; she did not feel the same. I expected as much, but it didn't make it hurt any less. We remained friends however. After I turned 17, things got worse. These thought of suicide grew as I began to develop a greater understanding or the world and myself. I began to detest my very existance. I hated my very humanity, I hated the fact that I loved her (not her herself) and I caused her problems with my love, I hated my physical condition (I'm not in the greatest shape to say the least), I hated the nature of the world, and I hated how life would end no matter what, no matter what I did, there wasn't any point. These thoughts caused me a lot of pain. I constantly screamed to myself to end it all and save myself the trouble. My life was a hell I inadvertantly created for myself. The months passed by, my hatred of myself grew, as did my desire to die. But being a coward, I never attempted suicide, just endlessly thought about it. Life wasn't all bad; I have a few great memories of the time I spent with her, I was truly happy. The rest of the time I was fucking miserable. Somehow I managed to stumble through life for a while. But about five months ago, something happened. I was talked to her (while at school), and for some reason (I honestly cannot remember) she said to me, that I "lied to her everyday". I thought she was referring to my love for her. My entire went cold, and I said something along the lines of "There're just some things I can't accept" in a hoarse whisper, and I left. At that point, I felt a burning shame, and an overwhelming desire to die. I felt that I truly had to reason to live, and that no one would mourn my death, and even that everyone would be better off if I died, since I believe I am a huge burden to everyone. Probably self-esteem issues. So I had the will to kill myself at last, but I wondered how I was to do it. I was still cowardly and didn't want to hurt myself (living is hardwired into our brains and it's amazing hard to bypass), but I wanted to die so bad. I couldn't afford sleeping pills, and I didn't want to steal money from anyone to buy them. I wasn't sure if they would work anyway, and I wanted to die, not destroy my liver and make my life worse. So I decided that since I hated consuming so much (still do. I hate how I have to consume life to continue my own, and I'm talking about animals and plants) that I would die from dehydration. It didn't require any money, and it's not all too obvious (I easily played it off as fatigue). The only hard part is maintaining the willpower to not drink any liquid or eat any food, and instinct is a bitch to circumvent. So that day (being Friday), I started my suicide. Now, being thirsty is annoying and can be painful. Dying of dehydration is pure hell. My throat swelled so much that it became hard to swallow, every breath I took was stagnant and foul, and it felt as if I had a burning fever. I lasted in this fashion the entire weekend. I wrote a brief suicide note to her, absolving her of any responsibility for my death, and waited to die. Every minute was an eternity, and I thanked God when I was able to sleep, for I couldn't feel the overwhelming desire to satiate my thirst, although my dreams tormented me with liquid. Sunday came around, and I wanted to apologize to her for my dishonesty. So I wanted until Monday, and after suffering through a day of school I talked to her briefly after class. I apologized. At first she didn't have any idea what I was talking about. One can imagine how I felt, then she remembered, and said that she was talking about something else entirely, and that she was joking. My mind came to a complete stop. I didn't know what to say. She didn't hate me for my loving her, and she wasn't angry with me at all. Basically, I had completely misunderstood her. Then again, maybe she saw in my eyes my death wish and meant to stop it (I'd like to think this). Regardless, she saved my life. My will to die faded, I felt that I could go on if I could still be with her (only as a friend but whatever). After school I downed an enture 2 liter of root beer. Never had I felt more alive. Oh, how I wish that feeling wouldn't have left me. I'm facing suicidal thoughts again. Since then my depression has only gotten worse, and I've made a couple more attempts at my own life (not as serious as the first, but still cause for concern). Last month, I wrote her a letter, saying that I still had feelings for her, but that I was going to move on and my writing the letter to get everything off my chest was going to help me. Understandably, she was, well, livid. She has a boyfriend that she's very serious with, and she's happy with him. I'm glad that she's happy, she deserves it, and who am I to want to take that away from her. I suppose she's probably tired of putting up with my shit. Since then, I haven't really talked to her. Not only do I feel horrible because I'm not talking to her, and I know that after we graduate from high school I'll never see her again, but also because it feels as though I've lost one of my best friends. I don't know what to do. I've just been more angry and depressed, and thinking more and more about shuffling myself off the mortal coil. Hanging out with my friends helps, but ultimately, I feel empty and alone. Maybe tomorrow I'll try to talk to her, maybe we can still be friends. So that's me. Pretty damn pathetic in my opinion. I know it's foolish to kill yourself over love, but I don't believe that I'll ever find anyone to love me. That's just how I feel. Like I said before, I wonder how people with horrible lives can even contemplate going on, how do they keep from killing themselves? I'll try to continue on for now. Hopefully everyone else will do the same. If not, then well, I hope you find the peace in death you lacked in life.|
|31 Jan 2005||nobodyknow sme||does anybody but me realize that this site asks the ultimate question-how to commit suicide under 13- and that question doesn't EVEN get answered anymore.all people ever talk about is phil and falicia ect, when half the people don't even know what or who the fuck they are talking about!! some actually want the question answered. Im not 13, im 15 but i still need the answer!so please don't let the question that holds this site together be left unanswered. Im not saying to stop having ur our convos. just please add your suicide methods! and for those peopl who give stupid methods( put a cap gun in ur pussy and shoot)please STOP they are pointless and just waste space. those who are haters to this website-FUCK OFF u were the ones who went into this website, if u don't like it don't read it! but we really don't want to hear ur bullshit. If anybody can help me with proper suicide methods(partucullarly how to probably strangle yourself) please e-mail me. email@example.com|
|27 Jan 2005||Shihan CJS Sir||Y'SHUA SINGLETARY CAGLAR JUAN KENPO is my ,own interpretation of Martialarts that I teach and a philosophy that I preach.Whilst I do not believe in Suicide ,under certain circumstances ,JESUS forgives it,but not like Koreschdavid,Jimjones,or even Antimessiah Prophethitler reasonbeing it is better to commit suicide than to be framedorworse and Happyholidays.I do not know if I can,per se,really answer such a detestable question,but willsaith this I do not desire for anybody to setuply murder me,but beseech MOSTMERCIFUL CHRIST to forgive me if I a such.
|17 Jan 2005||Lucy Cortina||Alert! Alert! My secret bra collection has been stolen! After checking the top-secret nuclear Bra Bunker where agent Danny stashed them, I discovered that they have all been pilfered. Now that is surely [cryogenic] grave-robbing at its sexiest? Perhaps they imagined that Lucy Cortina, moi, was an Egyptian Queen-turned-goddess and that my bras were special. Yes that will be it.
Agent Danny had hidden them before I was frozen so that the mad Dr Philville wouldn't find them and sell them to Mouchette. But I fear that Mouchette did some detective work and discovered them all by himself. Mouchette is now number one suspect in this case...
I do know the location of the Inflatable variety - darling Felicia borrowed them in a fit of lesbianism - but the leather, PVC, silk, gold, strapless, frontless and frillyness varieties have all gone. There was a dirty looking white bra in the bunker but such a bra wouldn't be seen on my boobs even if they were dead (which isn't that unlikely).
WHO STOLE THEM??? I need them to be found ASAP. There were many sizes of bras to fulfill the needs of my very demanding boobs, but now with the recently diagnosed BreastInflating illness that I have, normal bras can no longer contain them (as if they did before). I do hope this mystery will be solved soon, otherwise I will have to file a Boobsuit against Mouchette. It really is le grand mystére de les pantaloons...
*Note: I speak in French every now and then only to satisfy my French Fans*