Reading these suicide pages you will find people seeking help and people offering their help. Some witness about suicide from real life experience, others who play along with me would pretend it's a children's game. Some make sick and cruel jokes about it, and angry people blame me for even mentioning the subject. You might also want to read my favourite answers. If you want your answer to be included here, fill in the form.

Date Name/email

Nom/email
What is the best way to kill yourself when you're under 13?

Quelle est la meilleure forme de suicide pour les moins de 13 ans?
20 Dec 2003 Felicia Having A Bad Scare Day I just wrote to the guy of my dreams today. Though he is in a strainful marriage, and having it easy living in a marriage of convenience... it disturbs me. We have so much in common, but I am afraid to see him for fear of appearing in the show "Cheaters".
I could just imagine getting caught by his wife which is more scarier. But then, I know that it would be the easiest way to get myself killed.

The closest remedy to suicide, people is indeed jealousy!
17 Dec 2003 Felicia Ticked at the Music Industry THIS IS TO THE MUSIC INDUSTRY INFLUENCE

I've found that there are many teenagers entering this website. The fact that I am old, I'm still young at heart, I am old when it comes to computerized or some wannabe folklore rock or rap that's gone bad. Criminy though, please don't get me wrong, but it seems the music I hear on the radio is getting worst. And....the lyrics of suicide along with illicit sex incantations are enormous. Basically, you're starting to hear the word "Fuck" all the time and the sounds of human moaning. Its like Led Zeppelin or Jim Morrison on acid, a million times over. I mean GOD FORBID! You skater boys, no offense sweeties--please note that I love humankind's well being, blast them earphones so damn loud, it's enough to give me a headache in a six feet distance or whatever.

In a nutshell, music nowadays, will make anybody.... just anybody want to commit suicide!

Do I make myself clear?

If I were you, please lower the volume, limit the negative music to positive lyrics, and read a book or go outside, surf skate, have sex, without the music blasting those freakin profanities, within a 6-mile radius.

And you damn top head music promoters condone it! What's the matter with you! If you guys wonder why kids become worst is "BECAUSE (YOU FREAKING ) LET THEM HEAR THEM!!! And now that this is the only music playing nowadays because you ALLOW it, the kids have come accustomed to it, and I have to hear it at work against my will!!!! Don't you know that if you keep doing this, all teens or kids will grow up to only "CUSS, FIGHT, AND BREED!!!" What kind of President will we have in the future…YES….Osama Bin Laden, that BASTARD, will seem like a saint for goodness sake.

GOD! Even American Idol won't condone it. Simon, though everybody says he's asshole, it absolutely right on the nose! If these so called Musicians were to perform in front of Simon, he would say,


"That was ABSOLUTELY horrible!!!!!!"

For Christmas, I am going to buy all you music top head honchos, a American Idol Simon doll, set a spell on it to say insults, and it can haunt you like Linda Blair from the Exorcist!
10 Dec 2003 Felicia The Great For Everyone During The Holidays,

This time of year is the most depressing. I recommend that you keep warm or if there is no electricity, take warm showers. Bundle up no matter what because more people have a tendency wanting to want to kill themselves when it is really cold. Before you contemplate killing yourself, don't. Instead, make yourself a warm cup of chocolate with marshmellows. If you're vegan, a warm cup of chocolate soy milk.

In this crazy world, most suicides are from the result of depression. I spoke with my Psychologist from Enborg Lane located next to Valley Med. He told me that depression is the result of a chemical imbalance and should be treated. I told him, drugs or prescriptions wouldn't do any good. I found that the key into getting over depression is this:

1.) Excercise - running, moving hands and arms, anything to build endorphines (Do it constantly everyday).

2.) Eating well - staying away from sugary sodas and stick to hearty soups along with decaffeinated teas or drinks, just plain water would do. Though I recommended hot chocolate, because it contains caffeine, it is not as bad as drinking coffee. Hot chocolate has more Vitamin D, and helps you to get rid of that holiday chocolate craving. For the lactose intolerants: Don't diagnose yourself and say you are lactose intolerant if you haven't been to the doctor. Take small doses per week and build up so you can be lactose tolerant. If you are strict vegan, get the soy milk that has Vitamin D. Vitamin D aids in preventing osteoporosis and a soother.

3.) Get out more. Sunshine helps to rid you of depression. Even if it is dark and cloudy, you still get sun rays. Of course use proper sunscreen.

4.) Move around and get involved in group functions. Volunteer and help others that need help. As one guy said,"Don't ask what your country can do for you, ask what you can do for your country" JFK. If you help out others, you'll soon feel better about yourself. Please keep busy and don't idle around.

5.) Don't hang with grumpy people that get you down. Stay away from relationships that are hurting you emotionally. Don't take guilt trips.Take a trip to the mall, a trip to see friends, but not to where the guilt is.

If you feel that I am just a bunch of hot air, then I am. Why do you think I keep warm all the time.

Sincerely to you. Have a safe Holiday and remember:

"Life is not measured by the breaths we take, but by the moments that take our breath away--Please remain happy and stick to your dreams".
08 Dec 2003 Felicia The Great Dear Billy,

I choked on an artichoke salad this morning. Does that count for assisted suicide?

Going postal is too old. Try working as an airport screener instead; that way you can flabbergast the passengers by saying one of them had a gun in their can of hairspray, and everyone will think you’re a hero.

Happy Chanukah!
12 Nov 2003 Felicia on The State of the World I never thought what it would be like if you are under 13 and thinking of a way to kill yourself. But I know of a good way you can keep from being depressed.

1.) Read a veeeeeeeeeeeerrrrrrrrry long post on Mouchette.org and figure out if it appeals to you (like mine for example). If you think that person's post applies to your personality, write to them twice as long, cry your heart out to them. If some push you aside, go to another person that writes twice as long.

2.) Never think your style of dressing sucks especially those who wear baggy clothing like Tupak or dress like Vampire Lestat.

Let me continue. I'm talking on Gothic clothing.

Since the late seventies or early eighties, the Gothic style has always been in. Black clothes, tongue rings, body piercings, black lipstick, chains, anything silver, tattoos,patent leather, black lace, stark blood red fabrics, spiked colored hair, and vintage clothing, ect..ect.. this type of style should never be offensive to people especially to 50 year old parents. The Gothic style has always been a classic. If you are under 13, and choose to read dark novels, scan through Manga magazines, anime cartoons, smoke cigarettes (which is bad for your lungs and pocketbook), flirt with skater boys and girls, watch Jerry Springer, watching the Matrix III till you feel like throwing up from watching all those battle graphics, Cheaters, have unprotected sex (please don't put yourself in jeapardy) Buffy, and Charmed, you're very much in style. In San Francisco, its nothing new to me and I understand why some people are always on the verge of suicide. If it really depresses you, while doing this, then it is time to read Care Bear books and tuning your dial to Sponge Bob Square Pants. Or better yet, read Self Help books, but chose wisely. We don't need people chanting out the demonic verses of Mr. Ed's "A Horse is a Horse of Course of Course" backwards.

3.) Another way you can get depressed is compare yourself to Lizzie McGuire, Elton John, Colin Farrell, Arnold Schwarzennegger, the Olsen twins, the Hilton twins, the Bratz doll collection, Howard Stern and the three Pagan sisters. Now you keep wondering why you don't feel beautiful or handsome and you're under 13. The secret is this...ready?

Being "SELF CONFIDENT"and never compare yourself to anyone, period. Also note that money is never the root to all happiness or evil, and beauty is only skin deep or in the eyes of the beholder.
Life is what you make it.

4.) If times are tough and you feel like giving in to suicide before 13, go out and play with your friends, enjoy the sun, wear sun block, run, eat better, get busy.

If the boy or girl at school likes somebody else, then it wasn't in the cards or the stars. Move on.

If your family is dysfunctional, change family history and become functional.

If you are fired from your job and on the verge of welfare, ride with the tide. Pretend you are working and fill out applications everywhere, while collecting unemployment or public assistance. Never think that a mediocre job at McDonalds, will kill you. It is an honest job. Many executives out there have been Clowns working at a circus. Many CEO tycoons have went for early retirement. People like me are volunteer working with children and reading to them.

Take it in stride, don't think life is over. Life can only get better.
02 Nov 2003 Felicia was framed To Just A Girl, The Folks, Lucy

My Personal Vendetta

Today I made my involuntary resignation at a cow ranch, totally against my will. Next week, this coming Friday, will be my last day.

Yes. From the sting of it, I had run into a dead end unfortunate situation. I was indeed the target of four toxic villains, so I thought. Okay, make it three, counting off Cowboy Bob, who I thought was a culprit at first. The rest of the three varmints, Stud Boy, Silent Bubba, and that fat bitch Prima Donna, made sure to it that they kept track of every single mistake I supposedly made.

And Stud Boy lied.

I kept account of all my task quotas, and they said I didn’t brand enough cows. For the effort of saying that I was trying despite the brutal hoof kicks and burning cow hair, they wanted me out. It was obvious that they didn’t want me. First tears came in my eyes, then resentment. Well? Wouldn’t you feel the same if you had two mouths to feed, and a Ma who is about to fall off her rocker?

Afterwards at the end of the day I was plotting a form of revenge. To go postal by ordering a sawed off shot gun at the convenience store would be illegal. But to take revenge indirectly by advertising their competition would be the sweetest revenge. Word of mouth by rumor will kill the business. They happened to do it to me by dirtying my name for future employment, so it’s back to them publicly?

Yes, like a tabloid? Yes…(Brief moment of silence.) Well? Shouldn’t I?

Sigh…. Only in a perfect world.

- Yes, this is based on a true story.
01 Nov 2003 just a girl mmmm

i do wonder why i still visit this site.. although most of you would think i either died or just vanished.. i am still here.. (getting on with my life as a matter of fact) yet i do come by from time to time, just to check up on everyone..

this used to be my home.. this used to be my escape from reality.. this used to be all i had.. but things have changed.. although i can still read and understand just about every entry that comes before my eyes, they are no longer my thoughts..

but i know, one day again, they will be. for as i quote Felicia, or rather, blondey from The Long Kiss Goodnight.. "life is pain..." but i guess i got used to it...

i hope when i do find myself thinking of jumpin off the pretty steel bridge near my skool one day (i hope i never do again tho), i can come here again.. and be welcome again.. to be me, just a girl.....

life does go on guys...
28 Oct 2003 Felicia This is a message for Caleb.

Yes, I truly understand why you feel like ending it all, especially under the treachery of cruel people... especially ones that you call family or friends.

As in regards to family, which is the most draining, you feel that you are the black sheep and portrayed as a failure. A misfit of some kind. You feel that your family is always... "Want... want... want... Me... Me... Meeeee!" or "You're good for nothing! You're a failure! I can No longer forgive you for what you did?" Because of this kind of upbringing or environment, you think everybody out there is cruel and selfish as well. Everywhere you go, it seems that people are against you, talking behind your back, calling you names, having bad wishes against you in which you can't progress in this world. I had a friend on this website named Lucy Cortina, who sufferred much so because of this.

I am not influencing you to take any personality subscription drugs here Caleb, and there are times I wish I can go on Zoloft, but I can't stand the side effects. (You know, the type of side effects that they use in commercials after advertising the drug: "Warnings may include sexual dysfunction, migranes... ect... ect..")

Maybe you can try this, because I am using it on myself right now. Has it ever occurred to you that you are more powerful than you think you are? The brain can do so many wonderous things. My suggestion to you Caleb is keep a journal of the things that bother you, write it down, and try to be your own advisor. If you visualize somebody else writing for you for help, offer back advise in how they can overcome it. Do it in your journal. I did. I'm doing it right now.

Caleb, my friend, you are not alone in this crummy world full of selfish bastards and skanks. They will receive their wonderful reward at the end. This place is wreaking of assholes everywhere. But remember that you and I can change it to our liking and not use suicide as the last resort. If someone tells us otherwise and say "Go ahead do it! Kill yourself! It will lead to more justice in this world!" Whether they like it or not, even if we are here or if we are gone, the world turns. And if these people remain toxic to us otherwise and don't change their ways, bad things beyond our control will happen to them. It's called payback kiddo. But don't rely on it as a form of revenge. Never wish harm on anyone as a rule because it will come back threefold. Just let things be. Forgive. Let people be people, because in the long run if you do the things you love, I am advising myself to, the more you will be a success, the happier you will be, and it will attract the people that you mostly like to hang around with.

Hang in there Caleb... You are not alone!!! In this crazy world think of this day of a rebirth of new beginnings.

For today is the first day of the rest of your life.
27 Oct 2003 Felicia Suicide is only too easy of a way out. It is a cruel world out there. Take for instance my new job. I feel unappreciated and realized that it is such a dead end job. Some higher ups use the state of the economy as a crutch to cut down your hours or lay you off. Later, you read between the lines. No eye contact is the first sign, especially when someone looks to the left and their feet seem to point away from you, not towards you. The same thing goes for broken relationships.

It seems that I work from job, after job, after job and go from relationship, after relationship, after relationship. It's sad to know that people out there haven't seen our talents or ambitions and never love or like us for who we are. Some inadvertently make our lives a living hell even if we care about them. But in all aspects, if we can’t make a job better, change it. If the relationship isn’t working, change it or change friends.

As a result, those of us feel that living day to day is close to dying. Literally, dying is the only option in getting rid of the pain.

Pain hurts.

I can go on forever talking about this subject on pain.

But we have to remember "LIFE IS PAIN!! GET USED TO IT!!"

We have to remember to go forward before drowning.
And keep pushing to move forward,
Life is one long street fight and we have to learn to deal with the bruises of its unsuccess.

We have to learn to be tough. I say that to all my friends, especially my gay male friends and lesbian female friends. I say this to myself too and very often.

Suicide is no resort. Never have this as your last resort.

And to Lee, if you feel that your friend is still alive buried in that box, six feet under, most likely he is not alive. Mortuaries do not bury live bodies and usually dead bodies are in the regamortis stage…meaning absolutely not alive. Working with a Mortician was an odd job, but at least the customers didn’t talk back to you. What’s so funny is I even talk to them and once in a while. During preparation, all I hear is a deep groan.meaning the air is finally out of the body.

For your pain, I feel it. Cry if you have to, scream if you must. But remember that this grieving stage in your life, which will take time, too shall pass.

As for every dead end job, it too shall be a former job. For every bad relationship, we too will remember that one day, these people will all be a part of our past. Time can be a cruel in the saddest stages of our life, yet it can be a good friend because most of the time it heals all wounds.
26 Oct 2003 Felicia I am still alive. Unfortunately the spiders under my mattress don't think so. Been reading into Chris's posts which are quite interesting. He outbeats my sense of humor, and overthrows me with his genius. I have been reading into the Witchcraft stuff and casting spells on ex-boyfriend's by turning them into toads. There's one at my window sill right now.

Be right back....

(Smash!!! Accompanied by rabbit screaming!!)

Okay the bad spell is gone now.

Carry on my wayward wailing Banshee!!

Hail to the Gay Punk!
30 Sep 2003 Felicia in Paradox There’s writers’ popping out everywhere. It's all beginning to make sense to me now. They (the people of this website mind you) should name Mouchette.org a different name. Apparently, this site kind of reminds me of high school "Shakespearean" times, when minds were fresh, the young were experimental, and contemplating suicide was only a recreational hobby.
27 Sep 2003 Chris Where does a 13 year old spend most of his/her time? Basically it's either at school or at home. So we ask can a child be suicidal about school? Of course he can! It's just that the 'child' only realises years and years later that his school days were not the best days of his life as we are incorrectly normally led to believe!

It all begins when you start assuming that your old school mates want to see you again. The fact that at school you were irrelevant and might have been forgotten doesn't enter your head. Meanwhile, you start lingering over the stationery and pleated trousers, take out your primary school excercise books and the old tie signed by all your back bench companions and scribbled with old cliches like "Keep in touch" and "We'll never forget you."

Two days later the nostalgia gets worse, so you send a tentative e-mail to a 'girl' you went to school with, wondering whatever happened to her and all those school friends you lost touch with. You immediately demand all the contact details of everyone and start firing 1,000-word epics across the country. "How about having a school reunion", you say. "Come on, it'll be fun". Of course, you're wagging your tail all over this school reunion business. After all, weren't you drop-dead popular at school, carried upon the shoulders of young lads with shining eyes and flushed cheeks? Didn't girls queue up after school skipping on their toes for just one glimpse of tousled hair hero you? Weren't you the up and always coming star of the football team?

Oh no, that was your friends. Suddenly like a rush of bad breath it all comes back to you. You were only there when it happened to them. And after all the inspired brain storming involved in the choosing of the bar and restaurant, after you send the last e-mail and hang up the last caller, realisation comes upon you that planning the school reunion was a very big, big mistake.

At school-leaving, you set controls for the heart of the sun. Years later, you have either taken the whole solar system with you or been frazzled to a crisp by the sun. And you find yourself at your school reunion, the one you planned, looking more like facing a job interview than someone on a fun night out, nervously chatting over your drinks (yes, you need a lot), balding heads and wrinkling faces. This wasn't what you had in mind when you started plotting on a Shakespearean scale. You hardly envisaged that you need strength for school reunions, because you need to be fairly secure to lay your life open to the scrutiny of your earliest critics. After all no one likes to admit to failing to become an astronaut or a rock star. And what if you turn up and everyone is richer, thinner, 'better' somehow than you?

School reunions are false hope. School reunions are unkind, all the more so since certain people may have stumbled on hard times, lost their jobs, looks, marriage or hair. School reunions are cruel reminders that you have been forgotten by all your companions, and when you return home, generally sad and with all dignity lost, you question not only the night out but the whole first part of your education and ponder- Are primary and secondary school days really the best days of our lives that our faith in history leads us to believe?

We start off with kindergarten and primary school, those seasons of cartoon character satchels and new pencil cases. For mothers, there's a clucking flurry of last-minute shopping for school clothes, sport shoes, colour coded plastic covers and stationery. For fathers, it's filling up the petrol tank for taxing children to school prior to a day at the office (but they are glad that they are going to get rid of you and your whaling, "at least for school time"). Children are excited, anxious, even terrified at the prospect of a whole new year- new teachers to know, new subjects and new expectations to wrestle with (yes, you're so stupid that you like the idea of work and challenges!). Some will be indifferent and envisage endless SMS tournaments on their mobile phones. Most of them are mourning the end of summer holidays, when there was more time for eating and playing, for laughter and silliness and sleeping to the max.

For thousands of children, school marks the start of that endless, boring to hell routine- up at seven, off to school 45 minutes later, home at two with homework, television, piano practice, television, some kind of evening class (religious, ballet or something), football training, television, supper, and another hour of blurred television screen before mum gets up and heaves them to bed at a reasonable hour. Next morning it's same thing, day in, day out until summer dawns again and thankfully it's the time when nothing much happens. Compared to summer holidays the other breaks are insignificant. The Christmas break is full of anxiety: too much money spent and family tensions rise to boiling temperatures. Easter may be a celebration of spring, but it's usually spent in swotting for the upcoming exams and too much chocolate eating. Summer, though is the season of sun, sea and sleeping to the max. It's blue sky, ice-creams, yellow sand and suntanned faces for three whole months.

But as all good things go, summer holidays get shorter. Year after year, parents start becoming pushy bores, and children find themselves in that awkward age marked by a new deep voice, hairy hands and limbs (not to mention the pubic area) and voila, they are suddenly ready to go to secondary school, going on 13 and already bored with life. One minute they are children, the next they are considering the mysteries of shaving and opposite sex and thinking that maybe they should have enjoyed their childhood more and not have started school at three and took the risk of being sucked into schooling too early. Maybe they shouldn't have taken a million ballet, piano, football and private lessons. Another bicycle ride would have been nice, while that first kiss should have been followed by a second and a third. And young Lucy would have made a nice girlfriend and Lara's special Sunday leftover shouldn't have gone unstolen. But then, it's not the children who decide what is best for them.

So off to secondary school the children go with a daily grunt. They wallow like treacle in bus stages, easily distinguishable in their colour-coded uniforms. The private school children speak poshly, and have neat hair matching expensive sports gear. They cringe and pucker up their faces at everyone including state secondary school students staring at them. They are all navigators of uncharted territory.

On leaving primary school, children are not just one year older, but embarking on a whole phase of life, which least to say is more depressing. Starting secondary school feels like the official opening to the small adolescent's games (knowing in your heart that you were never a good athlete).

Fascinating phenomena appear, like pimples and the discovery, in single sex groups and far from the madding teachers, of the mythical other sex. New friends (which years later you realise were no friends at all) are made and innovative disciplinary methods like after school hours tried and frequently tested. There are new subjects like history and languages. Boring ones like sports, for those like me who never saw the point of running unless you're being chased. Mysterious ones like geography, that ability to trace maps and a capacity to rote learn the names of such fixed and ambigous places as rivers, cities, deserts and oceans. Yes you might find it amazing as you are still too stupid to realise how worthless it is.

Secondary school years are for children like the seven years of worry (they do sometimes repeat). Some fret about whether they'll make the basketball team. Others feel the heavy breath of the nearing O level exams down their neck. "Homework", screams the teacher. "Home", orders mum, "straight after school and no lingering with your friends". "Work", disciplines dad, witholding promises of a new computer, which is only supposed to be used to help with the homework (the naughty boys and girls end up searching suicide websites...). "Help", children shout in the direction of guidance teachers and counsellors (this is done only to distract the teachers and parents and manage to get away with not doing the work, after all, real help is only found on good suicide websites). Secondary school is a time where bullies appear on the school yard horizon, like the Beano Bash Street Kids, promising violent fights and riots, dark revenge in obscure corners of the school ground, cruel and puerile, but let's face it, these are the only real exciting things about school. And while all this is taking place, 'friends' always seem to be running outside having a good time.

So you think that your schooldays are the best days of your life? Think again and you realise how depressing and suicidal they are. But come the end of summer and me and all the other students have to go back unfortunately, though I've passed my primary and secondary years thankfully.

Moral: If you survive and you're still alive years after school is finished don't ever organise or attend a school reunion! It'll completely break you down.

P.S. I have to say something on everyone's comments about this site changing. Yeah, this site has changed but it just has got better. My story of this site reflects the story of the site itself. First time I came in I just had a sight, put in a cruel, stupid joke and left, second time I did the same. Third time I realised that this site wasn't so stupid so I decided to write something a little more tasteful and I started messing around with poetry. I ended up in Mouchie's favourites and kept doing poetry for some time. Then I wrote some stupid shit, tried to forget about the site but came back fairly recently and anyone who reads my stuff knows what I write today. I have come to realise the potential of this site and today it means much more to me. This site helps you unlike the all the other sites that tell you that you should contact their counselors for help. That's all shit. Sometimes this site may look as some 'blind leading the blind', or rather 'suicidal leading suicidal' idea but you know? It works. The reflection in the site's story is here. In the beginning people used to come in, write stupid jokes and probably never come back, then things got better and people used to log on more than once and they were writing more serious stuff. Today anyone who logs in for the first time is hooked because the site is much more mature and entertaining. Occasionally you still find some bullshit. Even Mouchie's tastes have also changed. Leaf through the 'favourite' pages and you'll notice the difference between blasted suicide ideas (which I admit still make me laugh), and better, more mature stories and ideas building gradually through the years. Not that I will ever complain of Lucy's stories. And for all those crying their hearts out on Lucy, now that I know that she's not real I can do without any more Lucy stories because now they will sound stale. I am gonna get criticised for what I said but I suggest another thing, maybe Lucy or Phil or who the fuck it is may log on with a new name and give us other delightful stories. And for those crying on Felicia and Billy, they are with us and they have written only recently. So shut the fuck up (no offence to anyone! That's just my aggressive manner of speaking) and be proud that you make part of this excellent, or should we say classic site, as it is supposed to go down in history, which just gets better every day.

And Leanne if you are not fed up of my speech by now and still reading, thanks for naming me. At least I know that I'm not talking alone. I'm saying this as in my history here (which is getting quite long now) I remember only three times were there was a reference to me or my writing! Thank you, maybe somebody does care after all!

See you disgustingly at school, college, university or where the fuck you're going! Unfortunately I'm gonna be there...
27 Sep 2003 Felicia I did see Lucy Cortina on the Tranny website. My GAWD! The boobs look so real. And they are bigger than mine.

Shall I trade for some new ones?
24 Sep 2003 Leanne2Will You know, the main thing I hate about England is how hard it is to get hold of a gun... not actually ''get hold'' of it, but to purchase one. WILL, my lil pea in a pod, you've been away from this world for quite a while but your still surviving and you came back, do you take pride in that? For me it's a shame I'm still here.. it saddens me but it saddens me to give in. But to give in is to be free. The way I look at this whole thing, is I imagine Depression and Suicide is actually in the form of a human being and I'm constantly at battle with em'. If I let em' win, I lose, but does that mean that losing is defeat if I give in and take my life? Or if I keep fighting and still continue my exisitence being miserable, I'm losing and I'm still being defeated? I guess I'm screwed either way even if I do give in to the pain. This place is not like it used to be. I mean, it still has its attraction but where have the main contenders gone? i.e Just a Girl, Miss Lucy (I don't think I need to type her second name), Felicia, Naomi, Molly? These names will go down in history, I'm gonna make sure of it. C'mon ladies, we need you. For those of you who've been here since the dawn of time will know who I'm talking about. It's wonderful to see we have the other games' contenders here though,i.e Gay punk, WILL, Chris, oh and others who I can't recall right at this moment due to sleep deprivation. Mouchette, bring these girls back, even you must have noticed the 'zest' has left from here since their departures... we're all missin' them. That's all I ask of, today.' 'Until next time, take of yourselves, and each other!'' Cheerio peeps.
19 Sep 2003 Felicia True useful facts:

1.) The majority of the world uses and abuses some type of drug. The number one drug in this world that is used most is caffeine. Not to forget, it’s legal.

2.) Suicides result from the impact of heartbreak and grief. Some people believe that it is all in one’s head. No it’s not! Suicide is caused by the result of unexplained circumstances beyond somebody’s control. It can be chemically and mentally induced. The best prevention against suicide is to communicate.

3.) In the world today, most crimes are caused by misunderstandings that often involve conflict of religions or strong beliefs.

4.) Prejudice is a preconceived idea that leads to hatred. The same goes for discrimination and bigotry.

5.) It confuses me that some religions tolerate some notion of living in peace with one another and later turn around stoning somebody because they were different. This does not portray love and obedience in making things right under their god’s eyes. It’s manipulation.

6.) It’s a fact that what goes around comes around happens constantly. If you have revenge on someone, it comes back threefold. Later down the road you say to yourself that pay back is indeed a bitch and that is not good.

7.) Never manipulate or force anybody to love you. If they chose to leave, it is their will and decision. If you try to manipulate and force anybody into loving you against their will, it can only lead to one outcome… and that would be a recipe for disaster, along with a restraining order.

8.) Loneliness can only be resolved by mingling with others, such as going outside to see the world, even if it is your own front or backyard. If you are mad at the world and see an injustice, don’t sit there and complain. Do something about it! Just make sure that it is not manifested into violence. Learn when to draw the line.

9.) If something hurts so much to the point that you are pining over it, get out of the situation. It would be like prodding your finger on a rusted nail and doing it ten more times, while you are screaming that it still hurts. Some people mutilate themselves for a living doing this. Bad gets to worst, make it a goal to be a stunt man or stuntwoman. You might as well get paid for it!

...Snuff boy and snuff girls, please leave yourselves out of this. This is a website to prevent suicide, not condone such behavior.

10.) Live like there is no tomorrow because today is the first day of the rest of your life.
19 Sep 2003 Felicia, The Full Monty Malicious violence in this world is much too common. Angry people run amok and there is no way to stop them. I believe mouchette.org is for the common folk that want to find out the true meaning of life before ending it. Please, my dear people, ease on my friend "Lucy Cortina". "She's" the best that ever is and did save my life at one time. Folks, whether or not you believe that she is unreal, so be it. Her (or His) infectious humor has made the mouchette.org world laugh even if he or she tries not to be funny.
And "Lucy", no matter how tiring it is to be a true comedian, you are in fact a true original. (MAKE NOTE OF IT!) Don't change and keep those boob and Kylie Minogue jokes intact.

For Billy The Freak, my burly haired man, I want you to bring on the fun like you used to and make the world smile as always. I know who you are, and will keep it a secret between you and me, as far as my breasts are concerned (No kidding, the last time I looked, they were real!)

Anyways, Thanks Lucy for the "Boob implants!"
17 Sep 2003 Felicia Helping You With Your Troubles If "Life" Is a "Movie", "Be" the "Star"

There I was, sitting in a dark room contemplating suicide. I couldn't breathe right; neither did I have the power to eat because I felt that life was too overwhelming. Because I was afraid to enjoy life and its unfair existence, I felt that I was no longer a part of this world. On days, I watched the sun shine, the birds sing, groups of kids going to and fro school laughing together, people riding by on horseback, and lovers walking together hand in hand. Having been withdrawn from the world with its turmoil’s in my head like Anne Frank in the "Diary of Ann Frank", I failed to experience how wonderful life would be in the outside.

Then one day I just had to let go of my wallowing self-pity to get on with enjoying life. I didn't want to be the girl not trying out for the cheerleading squad and watching the girls auditioning in the sidelines. I tried my darnest to get involve in school play auditions and felt so afraid in not getting the lead role, but I was trying. Even if I had to be a Tree Stump or the back of a Donkey's ass I would consider it and later add some limerick in the script and be the life of the show, Success and failure are so entwined with life that in order to experience one, you will inevitable experience the other.
Today, instead of watching life like an audience at a movie playing the leading role, dive in and be the star. If you're too afraid of failure and keep contemplating suicide, you'll never allow yourself to succeed.
The best revenge in life is to succeed. Though I am not going to tell you to gloat either. Save it for the prudes that befuddle you with fruits and tomatoes, get a net or ball shooter and aim it right back at them.
For all you know you can conjure up some "Catsup" recipe and be famous.
15 Sep 2003 Felicia Lucy Cortina,
I am real. Real as you can ever be. Don't leave the world yet in such a dramatic fashion. I have been submitting manuscripts to publishers, which is more suicidal. All the coffee in the world does not make me a better writer. In fact, since my brain is empty, which is more often than usual, I can tell you that indeed I'm all flesh and bones here. If you are leaving for sure, be sure to email me. And Billy, if you know a few one liners, send more to make the world chuckle and laugh.

Lucy Cortina, please I don't know you, but all of us in Mouchette love you.
11 Sep 2003 Lucy Cortina Hi people! I'm back! Well, I'm gone.
Dear dear, the suicide kit has descended into chaos. Billy is back (my god! they actually released you from the psychiatric unit after your hands-up-Lucy's-knickers incident?)
Anyway. Here is me, a single person. I'm not part of the mass manufactured stories or fancy names that plague this site from jealous wannabes. I'm just me: bog-standard, big-breasted, Lucy Cortina. Or am I...?
Actually, I'm not. This confession may shock the whole of this world. More shocking than being bisexual or being a vegisexual (being plain old boring 'Gay' just isn't enough these days - no offence to you, Gay Punk).
So, who am I?
Hehe, this brings back memories. Those lazy days with Felicia in my living room, eating cornflakes, and me standing there holding a bottle of milk and saying "mooo", but Felicia still not knowing that I was being a cow.
Well, it may be a further shock to know that I have never even met Felicia. I'm not sure if she even exists. That is because, I, Lucy Cortina, do not exist myself.
Lucy Cortina, then what are you darling? The suspense is killing us! We are on the verge of swallowing our cocktails of paracetamol and Valium. Do hurry it up, darling.
And, another point worth inserting here, I really can't be arsed with trying very very very hard today to end up under Mouchette's favourites list. It once held appeal, when I was so bored and depressed and had nothing better to do. When I didn't have a life. I still don't have a life. But I will soon have death.
So, anyway, yes. It's me, Lucy. No fancy sub-names, just the regular depressed girl, not quite perfect, posting here on the spurr of the moment, without need for competing. But hang on! You aren't real Lucy!
That's right. I'm actually, what for it....

Buddha!

Ok, so I'm not Buddha. I'm a boy. I'm 17. I have known of this website for years, since 1999 at least. or is it 2000? I'm not sure. Anyway. I found this site on the first stages of my franctic search for the meaning of life. (Death, that is. Or for the technical wahlers, 'suicide').
I found this site, read the stoopid, yet intriguing, posts. Went away for a bit. Came back. Went away. Came back. Got an intense desperate urging lust to be in Mouchie's favourites list. Did it. Kept doing it. It got boring. When the "pretenders" popped up like all the little girly singers did when Britney Spears arrived, to steal Lucy's thunder (or even her breasts!), I decided that life was too short, and tried to get one (a life, that is).

I have Social Anxiety Disorder, and Depression, an eating disorder, and probably a whole list of other possible illnesses. I hate life. I have this past to deal with too. Everything's crap. My name is Phil.
Lucy Cortina is as fake as Britney Spears' whole music career. (Or her breasts).
Ok, maybe she isn't. Who knows. Maybe Lucy Cortina was my way of airing some of the crazy thoughts in this head of mine. Maybe she was the outlet for many things.
But, sorry people, I was never real.
My name is Phil. And I will soon be dead. No, I'm not just messing about like many people do. I have it planned to every detail. No one will stop me.
I just want to say, goodbye suicide kit. Goodbye Billy, Felicia, all the others. I don't know who you all are in real life, if you made up a persona like me, but thanks for the entertaining reads every day when I get into this room and switch on my PC, after another day of hell, another day of life. Another day of everyone talking about me, of people hating me (yes ok I admit it, I'm a teenager yapping on about my problems and will probably launch into a "poor me!" child abuse story here if someone doesn't stop me). So I will stop myself.

Umm, anyway, yeah. I will be dead soon. Lucy Cortina ends here. She had a nice and eventful life. I hope Mouchie keeps everything in small archived files in his cellar full of wine and cheese, so that one day the suicide kit will become a Hollywood production (you're aiming bit high there, Lucy!). I guess Lucy Cortina was the suicide kit slut. Sending pictures of naked ladies in underwear privately to Mouchette was the only reason I stayed Top Girl. Or was it? I'm not sure.
Anyhow, incase you are crying into your cocktails by now, or in the case of Billy, crying into your condoms, I love you all, and remember darlings, we are all going to somewhere better soon, that big breast factory in the sky. The purpose of this little community was only meant to be brief, as all here are suicidal (aren't we?). I never meant to live this long. Maybe it was you, Mouchette. Maybe it was someone else, in fact, I know it was- my Danny. But maybe I'm just an insane, gay, 17 year old teenager. Maybe Lucy Cortina was part of my mind personified. Yes, that will be it.
So, no breasts, no SSSS, no sister, none of all that nonsense. Still, it was fun, wasn't it?

Take care people. Good luck with your deaths. If you wanna contact me - not that you would - but I will be alive maybe a while yet (but Lucy ends here). Leave your email addresses, and I will email you.

RIP Lucy Cortina.

Bye bye!

*Lucy leaves the room, leaving the occupants of the suicide kit free to release the farts or whatever else they were keeping in, in fear of upsetting Lucy during her important speech*

*Lucy enters room again, to an awful smell. She splutters out a few last words:
"Mouchette, I think you owe us all a small explanation. WHO, exactly, are you?"
...then leaves the room*

And everybody claps.
FINALLY, she has shut up whining, and gone!
09 Sep 2003 the gay punk WHO THE FUCK ARE YOu!!!!!!!

you have no fucking right to say that. what did i ever say to you or to anyone? nothing exactly. if you're one of those snots who'd talk around about killing themselves and not getting around there. well FUCK YOU. i don't know who you are, you don't go around telling that i feel like Just A Girl or Lucy or Mouchette and Emily (hi, i haven't met you yet) and don't you dare forget Felicia. no one forgets Felicia you motherfucker! FUCK YOU, i'm gonna shoot you in the head and take out all your body parts from up your ass. gggggggggggggrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr

i never dis anyone here expect for the anti suicide people who goes here ranting about suicide even though it's my and your democratic choice. FUCK YOU ALL

you nomad have no respect. fuck you i didn't do anything to you which is kinda like this new kid in my school who asked me if i'm gay and he's all just like "gay pride's gonna be cut yo." you are not 50 cent. i know that you hate us faggots but you only have to say "i hate your lifestyle" don't threaten us or put us down. be polite you motherfucker.

fuck you nomad

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