|Reading these suicide pages you will find people seeking help and people offering their help. Some witness about suicide from real life experience, others who play along with me would pretend it's a children's game. Some make sick and cruel jokes about it, and angry people blame me for even mentioning the subject. You might also want to read my favourite answers. If you want your answer to be included here, fill in the form.|
What is the best way to kill yourself when you're under 13?
Quelle est la meilleure forme de suicide pour les moins de 13 ans?
|08 Sep 2006||kaykay||I came across this site last nite.... Whn I typed into yahoo.... The fastest way to commit suicide. I'm not 13.... I'm 18. Just entering college. I feel like my life is upside down. Most of my life I've felt alone.... No one understands me.... At times I don't even know who I am. I used to always think about killing myself but thought I love myself too much.... Thts not true. I put up a front and become the person people think I am.... Wht can I say my dad is a pedophile and a cheater and my mother is too far up his a** to notice. She worships the ground he walks on. She even shows jelousy of her kids relationship with him because he doesn't give her affection that she craves. Well I'm the middle child.... Its been said we have it the worst.... I'm strtin 2 think that its true. I used to be daddy's little girl.... Thought my dad was the greatest until I found out who he really was. I hate my father and my mother. My parents don't care about me. They just want me out of there house so that I don't corrupt my younger siblings. I been with my boyfriend for 8 months..... I love him so much. He makes life so much better and worth living..... I feel in me that he is my soulmate. I can say that he is my comfort.... The only one that cares but when we have our bad times I just want to die.... I feel I have nothing to live for. I've cutt my wrist 2 time but I'm still here.... I guess God has greater plans for me. I learned a lot from this site..... I think the next time I'm at the hieght of my depression and want to kill myself I probably will.
This is my cry my desprate cry for help....
I feel that no one cares about me....all I want is for someone to care.
My parents don't care. They are kickin me out there house.... My mother told me I have till next week to leave. She thinks I'm pregnant.... And I might be. I have no where to go.... Don't know how my life is going to be..... I don't know how to del with my problems so I usually put them to the back of my head and let it build up... I kno that's not healthy but I just don't kno wht else to do. I have a pain in me and it seems like it will never go away..... Thts why I wish I could just lay down and die because I know suicide is a sin.
|21 Aug 2006||Britt-LovesLife||YEW FUCKING CUNT
WHOVEVER MADE THIS FUCKING SITE IS MESSED UP!!!!I HAVE TO MUCH FFUCKING SHIT TO SAY TO YU CUNTBAG!!! AND TO THE PEOPLE ON THIS WEBSITE WITH SUICIDAL FEELLING FIND A WAY TO CHANNEL YOUR DEPPRESSING ENERGY. JOIN A SPORTS TEAM, RIDE HORSES, SKATEBOARD, BE A KID ENJOY IT WHILL YOU CAN. AND INSTEAD OF CUTTING YOURSELF CUT SOME CUT SOME CHCIKEN AND MAKE MOM & DAD DINNER TONIGHT. I CAN'T IMAGINE WHAT YOU PARENTS WOULD DO IF THEY FOUND YOU DEAD ** OH WAIT I DO KNOW, THEY WOULD PROBABLY GO AND TAKE THEIR OWN LIVES. WHY MAKE SOMEONE SO SAD. GOD IF I FUCKING MET THE OWNER OF THIS SITE I WOULD FUCKING KILL YOU SO GO SUCK A FUCKING HAIRY BLUE CAWK CUNTBAG ASSLICKER CAWKSUCKER SHITFUCKER BITCHSHITTER FAGBAG FUCKHOLE NOBRAINED PHEDOPHILE. AND IM 13 AND I THINK THAT THIS SITE IS WASTE OF MY FUCKING ENERGY GO SUCK A CUNT BAG HO SLUT BASTARD SHIT HOE FUCKER CUNT BITCH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
|05 Jun 2006||myerzev||I don't know why you people even bother to come here and type your psuedo philosophical bull shit or lack there of. I am astonished to be even spending my time here! You people clearly have nothing better to do with your lives (besides typing your qualms or futile, pitifully weak pleas against suicide--all of this being my exact point) and just go kill your selves, because just as previously mentioned, you have nothing else better to do then waste your time here. So i highly recommend, from the bottom of my frozen heart, to go and fucking kill your selves. Have a happy time; and in the mean time...keep it kosher.|
|27 May 2006||Fuck weed||Bash your head through a computer until
|23 May 2006||phil||i am 12 years old and i have tried many ways to kill myself. i have jumped off of my house, slit my wrists, am anorexic, belimic, i have lit myself on fire, shot myself, smoked drugs, taken pills like benydrl over 90 super strength and got my stomic pumped. i have secsessfully hund myself. like other kids on this website i have died and came back. hell is not exactly the best place i have ever been. i havent stopped doing all of these but i have slowed down. i havent cut in 1 days but 10 days ago i went to the hospital and died but cam back. i have died and came back atlest 7 times. i drilled a hole in my knee because a girl said no when i rejected her. i use a mashedi to cut myself and sometimes over react. one of the times i died i went to heaven and saw my friends mom and my grandparents. just because i havent stoped doesnt mean that u should do it eather
people stop felling like ur fat because i have been thru the same thing
i started anerexia when i was only 98 pounds and though i was fat
stop doing this stuff to urself i slowed down because people said they loved me. i dont really think thats true
|17 May 2006||not important||TO JUST CALL ME SNOOPY
you aint alone..im from philippines too and in london right now..im already a resident here and theres nothin i can do about it..cus all my family is already here,and i see no hope of coming back in the phil..im so hopeless and helpless and im thinking of doing it too..and i dunno,im not sure yet.so if youre reading this just email me or add me on yahoo.. firstname.lastname@example.org
|16 May 2006||suky||I cant take it anymore. I have nothing to live for. Why not just . . . Will anyone even notice that im gone?|
|14 May 2006||RCJ||i've posted here a few times, i check in every once in a while, nothing ever changes. i've found that my philosophy is basically the Nihilistic view Nietzche hated but invented. i came to the conclusion that all existence is meaningless and couldn't possibly have any relevance. I'm probably not going to kill myself anytime soon, since if nothing matters it's the same alive or dead. i've asked people to dispute my claim that existence means nothing, but all i get are religites saying the bible told them so. that's really not useful, since all religions claim to be true yet not one provides more evidence than another. "The bible is infallible because the bible told me the bible is infallible" is circular logic, NOT evidence. i'm tired of writing the same few things over again, but i'm still hoping i might be wrong. even though that means i'm screwed since i've kind of squandered any potential with school and career. if i'm right, go me, if not, i don't really care. i want to be dead, or just sleep forever, and if dying is the only way to achieve death then so be it. unfortunately, my easiest methods would have to wait. i really hope i don't live past 12-2-06, when i can get a handgun. maybe sooner if i can get a car, or some decent poison. my bit of advice is cut an artery, it's not that hard : there are 2 in legs just around hip bones (femeral?), in arms above elbow(next to blood donating vein), and carotid in neck (if you cut up and down you won't have to slash windpipe). remember: the person who is happy everyday is crazier than the person who is depressed every day.|
|13 May 2006||yourgivingmeaheadachewhenyour..||What is out there... a universe of compelling characters just waiting to shake your hand and see you off into your own little corner of understanding?
People dont know. Your a faggot for being part of this race. I've got a funny secret. Its called philosophy and its true that if you were to ask 10 different people what they thought life was about, no one would have the same answer. You see, you live on a stage with puppets all around you, and you are the only one with a concious. You are the only one who can think. Now, imagine, how can you relate to these blocks of wood if your made of something more and the jibber they seem to speak to you is meaningless and undeniably a big lie?
Therapists. They're just top examples of these human ghosts. They understand you too well, dont you agree? Even I. I'm an anomaly to you,just another random. i dont even understand you. But to be a saint for a moment, you can understand yourself.
Pain is just an internal reaction to an external force. What your really feeling comes from an internal force with an internal reaction. If you want to be dead so bad, you'd already be dead and the real world, that which is made up of feelings and thoughts, wouldn't have stopped you.
|12 May 2006||Suky||Darkly her footsteps fall, so far away from the light. Consciousness is a dream, nothing to be afraid of. The real fear lies not within but without, as those bloodthirsty scavengers pick away at your soul.
Slipping in and out of the physical world; this is all that is left, an empty chalice, sound without thought, voice without mind. Meanwhile those deathly pale figure flit about, as those when one meets death, or when deluded by those nightmares as sleep overcomes you.
Am I making my point clear? Reality is something to be despised. Hide in your inner world that separates you from it. This is how I live every day.
Feel free to add me.
|30 Apr 2006||just call me snoopy||hi im one of the young ones who wnt 2 kill my self im only 13 the date 2day is april 30, 2006 my b-day is on may 2 so few days left im turning 14,,i wanted 2 commit sucide because of problems like selfishness my mom wont let me go bck 2 my country for just 1 yr she said u can go back but for only 1 month but i said how about my sisters my cousin my dad
. im so lonely here in london all my friends are al useless i can even talk 2 them about my problems and im telling u i h8 london i wnt 2 go bck 2 my country because its just me and my mom who lives 2gether the rest of my family in philippines and im just so sick of w8ting for almost a year before i can see them im just tired of everything,, an also one of my problems is my school,, my school is surrounded of 9yr old people even though theyre 13 yr old people keep on hurting my feelings and im just so fed up w/ it and my mom keep on saying dnt say ting slike that sh even said that its a good oppurtunity that im here in london because loads of people in my country desprately wnt 2 go here in london but they cant cause some of them dont have enough money but my poins is im just tired of everything makes me feel suicidle
|25 Apr 2006||Melissa sky||hi!!!i've posted something here b4 im melissa sky and let me tell u ya all just have 2 get a shrink it works i've got a shrink and im doing much better i do not want 2 die im seeing life 4 what it really is and it is not worth it dont do it u bolive it or not u have people that love u and will be soooooooo hurt if u do it just do aint notthing worth it nothing just talk 2 some 1 and if u were like me and didn't have i write 2 me my email addres is email@example.com or DaTpHiLlYdImE@MSN.COM PLEASE HIT ME UP B4 U DO ANYTHING OKAY GOD LOVES AND SO DO I EVEN DO I DONT KNOW U OKAY PLEASE WRITE TO ME LOVE YA MELISSA SKY!!!|
|22 Apr 2006||Travis||Why does everyone put themselves in pain? Hello a gun would be fast and painless? perhaps maybe?? mmm yea i think it would be..|
|21 Apr 2006||Travis||Aww well im 16 soon to be 17, i can drive i thought of turning the wheel right into a 18 wheeler. but didnt couse i might still be alive. but one way i thought just today i was close from goin into the gun cabnet and grabing my 270 deer rifle and ending it all.. just like kurt i want to exape the truth and the reality of live and whats ahead of me. and also i just feel im no one i feel alone all the time. now im not what you would call ugly but im not "hot" either. some say i am i find it very flattering but i hate it. Fakes piss me off. BUSH AND HOW THIS WORLD IS GOIN DOWN THE SHITTER! hello where gunna die of bird flu sooner or later.. thats just my opinion.. and anit depressants dont work they make you worse.. trust me!|
|21 Apr 2006||philimene||To The Bitter End - I wouldn't be offended if u added me and asked why I haven't killed myself yet. It would probably make for interesting conversation.
To Twaits: I think u have really summed up the essence of this website. I have wanted to commit suicide for at least 4 years, but have never talked to anyone apart from on this site.
|31 Mar 2006||philimene||This site just made me feel so depressed. No, im not one of those against it. I just hate the fact that there are so many people who have to go through feeling the same way that i do every day. I guess ive always felt like commiting suicide coz i feel so alone all the time. I kno thats kinda stupid as an excuse to want to commit suicide. Ive heard that the best way to commit suicide is to cut your wrists while in a hot bath to numb the pain.|
|16 Mar 2006||Dr. Phil||Seriously, whats wrong with ya ppl? My life aint good either, u fucking overemotial's kid, suicide wont help ya, wont help your friends/relatives either, so why in the fuck woulda ya do it? I mean, gimme a brake, sucide.. ? Sheesh. If you'r guy, and ur fat, instead of spending time whining, go out run or go to gym. If ur girl, just loose it, put some make-up and go out. At the End of the Rainbow, theres the treasure, u just have to endure the pooring rain. :S|
|08 Feb 2006||I HATE THIS PLACE!!||No wonder this person,
Does not reply to peoples messages!
its not real.
How can i put it in better words
I think this site is For the fans of the movie Mouchette. I AMNOT SURE MIND YOU?????????????????
Come to think of it now!!
when i first found this place i thought ths " well this is werid why would some sick person make a site where for people who were under age could just come on line and find this place"r
Think about this people it is not NORMAL to have some thing like this on line.
with out it NOT HAVING A WARNING!
TO BE CLOSED DOWN!!!!
"My name is Mouchette. I live in Amsterdam. I am nearly 13 years old. " This seemingly innocent introduction by a child artist hides the shocking content within Mouchette's website. Allegedly authored by a twelve-year-old French girl, "Mouchette" is a complex site consisting of various secret links, electronic interactive texts, and poems that reveal the multiple faces of the artist, along with her fears and obsessions. Loosely-based on the 1937 book by Georges Bernanos and the 1967 Robert Bresson movie, Mouchette, the website seems to expand upon the basic storyline of the film. The movie portrays a girl suffering from the pains of abuse, an alcoholic father and dying mother. Eventually she finds that her only escape from the hatred and sexual abuse in her life is suicide. Not only does the net artist draw several character similarities to the female protagonist of the film Mouchette, but also relates similar thematic ideas. The various subpages of the site use visually-shocking pictures, images of flesh and blood, and interactive forums of taboo subjects to explore themes of sexual abuse, violence and hatred, and loneliness. The anonymous authorship of the site, as well as the user interface, poses an underlying question of identity, leaving the viewer curious what the true nature of the website. By creating an interactive site that encourages audience participation, Mouchette.org challenges the viewer to confront these disturbing themes and make a decision of further conduct.
Since the website launch in 1996, the true identity of the alter-ego behind Mouchette.org has been a closely-guarded secret. By concealing his or her identity, the artist preserves the first-person nature of the site, thus enhancing the thematic power. In this manner, the artist provokes heated debates of contemporary political and sexual issues. Since the artist-moderator behind the site remains unknown and anonymous; the author her/himself is referred to as merely Mouchette (1).
The incredibly complex Mouchette.org site relies on both the audio and visual components. One key aspect of the site is its variable nature; there are many different opening screens, and the noises that accompany the images are prone to change as well. The opening screen is always a close-up of a flower, with flies moving around it. The fly is a visual allusion to the name, "Mouchette," which literally means "fly" in French. If one clicks on the flies to the right of the screen, it leads to the "Blind Jump" section of the site. The fly in the center of the screen leads to two more pages about flies, then the viewer is confronted with a dead end. In the corner of the homepage is either a photo of a young girl, a drawing of a young girl, or a picture of an older woman. When the arrow is on the picture, a passage appears. One can click on either the picture, or the passage, and it will lead to different pages-the passage always leads to a seemingly public bulletin board about suicide, whereas the picture can lead to different pages, dependent upon which picture is displayed. The artist Mouchette claims that the young girl pictured is herself. Next to the picture, there is a checklist that lists certain "facts" about Mouchette, some of which contain links to other pages. There is also a scrolling menu at the bottom of the page, which says "browse me" and contains a number of vague links leading to different sub-sections of the site.
The confusion and profusion of links and subdivisions within the site lead the viewer to become disoriented. One cannot easily navigate the site, nor can one easily re-trace one's steps; the "back" button often leads to random new pages. There is an abundance of subsites within the site, as well as links to outside sites. One subsite is an apparently "public" bulletin board, upon which people respond to the question: "What is the best way to kill yourself when you are under thirteen?"-a question seemingly posed by the "young girl" behind the site. The respondents leave a variety of messages ranging from attempts to save Mouchette, to bitter notes pushing Mouchette (and her apparently suicidal correspondents) to actually commit the final act. Mouchette also prompts each viewer to fill in his own form and respond. Yet, it is unclear if these responses are filtered, and by whom-or, are the posted ones even written by real people? If everyone can be Mouchette, who is the driving force behind Mouchette?
Upon closer inspection of the website, the viewer can join Mouchette's fan club, which empowers the audience with enhanced participatory powers within the site. Uploaded user text and images become a part of the site and users can respond to Mouchette's "personal" email. Thus Mouchette's email identity remains anonymous and arbitrary in content. Who is the artist that moderates Mouchette? This remains a virtually impossible question to answer. However, even though one can "become Mouchette" according to edit.mouchette.org, this does not open up access to all parts of the site-areas are still moderated by the unknown artist.
The complexity and navigational difficulties of Mouchette.org challenge the audience's ability to interpret. Several of the sites portray unrelated aspects, linked only by one of the common themes. Sexuality appears as an underlying theme in the site, noticeably in images and sounds, but also in subtle colors and presentation. Obvious sexual references include the subpage of sexual pictures and sounds, and the pedophilic references of the "striped penis" subpage. More understated references include the flower imagery on the opening page and the "secret page" where the artist conveys a sexual mood with the use of such words as "softly," "feel," "touchÈ in the dark," and "penetrate." As the mouse is moved, orgasmic sounds are revealed. Sexuality plays a strong thematic role from the beginning of the first webpage. As the page loads, the site emits crying sounds punctuated by seemingly sexual noises. Similar to the Bresson's movie character, Mouchette, the site identifies the juxtaposition between sexual pleasure and anguish. Although sexual, the site does not convey the imagery on a sensual level, instead associating the sexual theme with violent overtones.
Hatred and abuse also appear as major roles in Mouchette's work. Hatred is expressed on several levels in multiple relationships. Mouchette's underlying hate for her parents proves apparent in the subpage http://mouchette.org/flesh/pere.html (1998). Images of "Papa" and "Maman" etched into pieces of raw meat symbolize the minimal flesh-relationship between the daughter and her respective parents. Although presented in an innocent childlike manner, "I got my parents' permission for the web portraits," the gruesome effect of the sanguine raw meat suggests the tension in Mouchette's parental relationships (2).
Mouchette's own hatred for life exists as the climactic moment of the site. The artist presents the notion of a "suicide kit," innocently questioning the audience on a "way for children to play suicideÖ(as) a new kind of toy" in order to find "best way to kill yourself if you're under thirteen." Using this shocking method of inquiry, Mouchette forces the audience to confront the issue of suicide and respond. She then posts the responses in several categories: recent posts, posts seeking help, offering help, real life experiences, cruel jokes, posts that treat suicide as a child's game, and people that blame the artist (Mouchette). Despite the differences in the responses, most user posts appear strongly emotional, compelling the viewer to consider the veracity behind the messages while making a moral decision, first, whether or not to respond, and second, the content of the response. Mouchette posts her favorite answers, and these are not judged according to morality, but on passion. Passionate answers range from posts celebrating the beauty in life, celebrating the romantic notion of death, and everything in between.
Mouchette.org also explores hatred on the personal level between the viewer and the artist. He dedicates an entire section of the site under "hate," for the audience to voice their loathing for the site and the artist (3). Placed upon a unsettling backdrop-a crowd of people covered in crushed tomatoes that resemble bloody flesh-Mouchette incites an honest response from the viewer. The "hate" responses vary from hatred for Mouchette's seemingly apathetic attitude towards life, to disgust for the audacious manner in which taboo subjects are presented, to personal hatred of the artist.
Hatred is also expressed in its most climactic form, violence. Mouchette.org's "Kill the Cat," first unnerves the viewer with the gaping jaws of a cat, accompanied by periodic bloodcurdling screams (4). The screen shakes violently as it becomes apparent that no peaceful ending is achievable and the only escapable solution is to close the browser or use the back command. Thus this page challenges the viewer's notion of a predictable internet with its abrupt display of violence. Also under the "paintings" subpage, clicking the mouse launches two hands, which violently grab for a pig which is drowning in a spilled bowl of soup. In and of themselves, the images are not blatantly violent; however the juxtaposition of a seemingly monstrous hand looming over the defenseless plastic pig seems to be a threatening imbalance of power. The sanguine color of the soup appears as a blood-like substance violently spilled in all directions.
Mouchette also provides a film quiz in which she highlights the important scenes from the movie. Although this quiz was recently banned from the site due to legal warnings from Robert Bresson's estate, an online mirror site still carries the questions (5). Each question reflects the abusive and depressive nature of Mouchette's short life. In one question, Mouchette provides the following answers: "the hut of the poacher who raped me," "home, where my mother just died," "at the cafÈ, to fetch my drunken father," "the pond where I shall be drowning myself." Mouchette uses each film answer to relate the themes of her website. Sexual abuse, domestic problems of abuse and neglect, and suicide commonly arise throughout the quiz. The backdrop of these quotes is composed of forlorn images of Mouchette, further emphasizing her pitiful state to the reader.
Identity is a central theme in Mouchette's website. Although it is never explicitly explored, it is alluded to indirectly through the user forum. Each post requests the specific name and email address of the author, but uncertain identity is the inherent nature of internet interaction. While browsing the site, the viewer is constantly badgered to post his name and email address, in a sense threatening judgment for any response. This imparts a sense of viewer responsibility for actions taken. The viewer does not know to whom his emails are directed nor does he know who will read them. Messages on each user forum are often disconcerting and upsetting; one does not know whether to take them seriously or not. This emotional distance is essential to the artwork. Though Mouchette presents many upsetting, taboo subjects, she does so dispassionately, in an almost apathetic manner. However, after reading the plethora of charged material from Mouchette and the posted respondents it is easy to become desensitized to the unsettling subject matter. This leads to a moral dilemma as the viewer is confronted repeatedly with the possibility of intervention with potentially suicidal individuals.
Mouchette.org operates on many levels expanding upon the overt themes of sexuality, violence, hatred and isolation, using shocking images and sounds, interactive user forums, and morally ambiguous subject matter to highlight her intended themes. This is layered over a fundamental identity question about the authorship of the site and the responses posted on it. Throughout the site, the viewer is constantly confronted with moral decisions. By challenging the viewer with these decisions, Mouchette.org does not allow the user to remain inactive-the viewer is forced to contemplate and take a position on these taboo subjects.
so you see people thats what this site is all about!!
its SICK i know and i hate this place.
WISH I HAD NEVER FOUND IT!!!!!!!!
AND I HOPE YOU ALL HAVE THE SENSE TO TURN AROUND AND WALK AWAY FROM THIS PLACE TO..
I WOULD LIKE TO SEE THIS POSTED ON YOUR FORUM PLEASE..
but i have not got a clue where this site is really located???????????????????????
and if you don't post this i will post this to you antill you do!!!!!!!!!!!!!
|01 Feb 2006||bla bla bla i hate my everything||1.At least 2 people in this world love you so much they would die for you.
Why don't they kill themselves?
2. At least 15 people in this world love you in some way.
There are probably more than 15 peadophiles in the world, maybe in the street?
3. The only reason anyone would ever hate you is because they want to be just like you.
Thats not true, i hate everyone cos i DONT wanna be like them
4. A smile from you can bring happiness to anyone, even if they don't like you.
I hate happy people, my life is horrible, why should they smile?
5. Every night, SOMEONE thinks about you before they go to sleep.
See Question 2
6. You mean the world to someone.
See Question 2...
7. If not for you, someone may not be living.
If you kill yourself, you can donate your organs to people who don't hate themselves
8. You are special and unique.
You are the all singing, all dancing crap of the world!
9. Someone that you don't even know exists loves you.
10. When you make the biggest mistake ever, something good comes from it.
Unless you totally fuck up and end up on the streets or death row.
11. When you think the world has turned its back on you, take a look: you most likely turned your back on the world.
12. When you think you have no chance of getting what you want, you probably won't get it, but if you believe in yourself, probably, sooner or later, you will get it.
MM good old parent theories again. Someone is always going to better than you. I REALLY want to win 30 mil, but someone else did.
13. Always remember the compliments you received. Forget about the rude remarks.
Remember where the people who are rude to live, and burn and sodomise their pets
14. Always tell someone how you feel about them; you will feel much better when they know.
I agree, telling people I hate them makes me feel just ace!
15. If you have a great friend, take the time to let them know that they are great.
If you dont, see how long you can hide in the freezer at the supermarket for.
Peace out you sons and daughters of hairy arm-pitted prostitute !
|25 Jan 2006||Sadie G.||Listen kid I tried it once and I can tell I've never been fucking happier that I didn't succeed. That was a year ago and now I'm almost 18, I had the same philosophy as you. The thing is I was serious, I really wanted to off myself. You just want attention that's the difference between you and me. If you want attention grow a mohawk. If you want to die kill yourself and get it over with. But don't preach your bull-shit theories to young impressionable kids. God Bless|