|Reading these suicide pages you will find people seeking help and people offering their help. Some witness about suicide from real life experience, others who play along with me would pretend it's a children's game. Some make sick and cruel jokes about it, and angry people blame me for even mentioning the subject. You might also want to read my favourite answers. If you want your answer to be included here, fill in the form.|
What is the best way to kill yourself when you're under 13?
Quelle est la meilleure forme de suicide pour les moins de 13 ans?
|23 Oct 2006||Phoenix||I recently shared my story, then when browsing those of others, for whom my heart bled out for, responding to those I feared most for, I realized there was something everyone who comes here needs to know about suicide.
SUICIDE IS A NATURAL RESPONSE TO PAIN OVERWHELMING PAIN COPING MECHANISMS.
According to modern psychology, suicide is a natural response to pain (ie. mental, emotional, psychological, physical) overwhelming pain coping mechanisms. There are only (2) two ways to avoid suicide.
1. Remove the source of the pain. Note, this may not be an alternative in all cases, if its not possible to eliminate the source of the pain, or much less identify its source. This is the reason that running away has become so popular. It is a means of aliviating the pain, as it did me when I left home and never seen my abuse parents again. Unfortunately, there is nothing that can be done to remove the source of my pain today. In this type of situation, see #2.
2.) Find, develope, create new pain coping mechanisms. This is what psycho-babel psychotherapy attempts to do, and what dancing does for me. This is one reason music is so important to humanity. Ever notice how when your at your lowest low, music can get you through it (if the right song)?
Music may not do it for you. For some its fear. Fear of God, of bs purgatory, or bs hell. Let me debunk hell for you real quick.
Hell is an anglo-saxon word derived from the greek work hades (this is obvious, and is not at all questioned, universally accepted). Hades, like many other greek/roman mythology was taken from other cultures and events happening around their culture.
This concept of hades (and the word itself) was born of a common event of the times, a place known as gehanna. One of the most influential events was the sieze upon Jerusalem by the Romans. For those of you who are familiar w/ your Judeao history, the Romans laid siege upon Jerusalem for years. Now imagine a huge city not allowed to export/bury their dead and trash. This would begin to build up quickly. A large city laid siege upon for over five years would accumalate alot of dead and trash.
To keep the commandments of their god, and stay maintain a clean city (cleanliness is next to godliness...) they began throwing their dead, and trash outside the walls of Jerusalem. This place is historically referred to as gehenna. It was the make-shift burial grounds of war-sieged Jerusalem. Over the time of this war the bodies and trash began to decay giving off sulferous fumes. The roman army set it aflame and it smoldered and burned, giving off sulfer and flame for a long time.
A common referrence in Jerusalem was to refer to anything going to gehenna as being dead and never returning. This was a physical "hell" / hades / gehanna on earth. Hell is nothing more than any graveyard; although the torments of hell came from our beloved control freak world religion, catholicism (known for its lies, secrets, myths and molestations).
Teh suffering of hell came from the mids of the people of those times who threatened to throw their errant children into gehenna if they were disobedient as a control technique.
After all this, can you truly believe in hell? In any of that bs? Take some science classes and learn about the "Spontaneous Combustion Theory" and how its been proven in labs.
Blessed be, from your local suicidal geneticist.
|22 Oct 2006||Phoenix||Hello. I've read a few of the plights here, and as I sit here typing with tears in my eyes and heaviness in my heart for the pain I see in [all of] your words here, I hope that I have some thing to share that will help you find strength to go one more day.
I've alot to say, and I'll answer the question the best as I can, but I must first beg you to find your passion in life. You have one, we all do, for me its dancing.
I'm a 37 y.o. gay male that has been living with HIV/AIDS since 12, when I was raped, beaten and left for dead in the desert. I was raised by Jehovah Witness mother and step-father, both of who either hated or dispised my existence in thier secret hearts.
I could never tell them what happened, just as I couldn't tell my mother I was molested by my foster parents when I was 3. My parents thought I had ran away for a few days and came home bruised and broken from the wicked world out there. To this day, they are still clueless to the events of the rape.
I knew I was infected, the asshole told me he infected me, and even if I were to live, I was going to die of AIDS. I hid this from my parents, and I don't think they even know today.
I eventually escaped their controlling abusive behavior; I haven't seen them for nearly 20 years now. I've spent most of my life praying and begging w/ all my heart, all my soul, to die. I admit, there are times the dark clouds disappate and life goes on, but those times are becoming more and more scarce and last even less time.
I have recently lost all my friends, the truth is if I died right now, the only person to know would be my landlord. I've also just recently lost the only person who ever treated me with any respect and love, when I realized he was ignorant of my HIV status. I told him, knowing I would loose him, and haven't heard from him since. I love him, I have hurt so many people in my life (either through my short experiment with drugs, or the way I've treated the ones I love), never meaning to hurt, or harm anyone, just trying to live life like everyone else.
It seems I'm cursed to have nothing, and live in perpetual, never-ending remorse, shame and self-loathing. I cannot imagine loathing myself any more then what I do.
I was a short term (1 year) tweeker, and in that time lost all my self built friends/family that mean the world to me (Thomas S, Tommy S, Tony M, Gena M, Tracy A, Tim O, and all the rest). I lost my car, my savings and everything I owned to my tweeker boyfriend during that time who tried to kill me 9 times and failed. I didn't really mind, I wanted (still want) to die.
I've lost any and all chance of ever being able to be a dancer. This hurts as much as anything else, for dancing is my sole. I hear music in my dreams, I dance myself out of bed in my sleep, I dance through the grocery store, in line and on the street. Music is the only thing that possesses me and drowns out the pain, suffering and torment I live with.
But now, my grief and guilt over the misunderstanding of my HIV status drowns out everything else and I can't bear to laugh. I have to drone out the overwhelming self-hatred and pain with anything that can occupy my mind.
That only lasts so long, for as soon as I have to sleep, or am given a single moment of a happier state of mind, instantly I remind myself of the possibilities that await the guy I love, and my part in it.
Although he never asked, I never volunteered. I assumed he knew, everyone knows, I don't keep it a secret. I should've made sure he knew, but you know what kind of mood breaker that is even if he did know.
Anyway, I now realize that I have nothing left in life. I have never really had anyone (not even mother or father) love me (although I have had a alot of guys chase me), I have no friends, no job (too sick off and on to hold one down), no money (still waiting endlessly for SSDI to approve my application for assistance), no future (I've been HIV postive for over 20 year and full blown AIDS since 2001 - my cd4 fluctuates around 45), no hope, no prospects, no chances and lastly no more chances to dance.
I think the easiest and possibly a painful way of dying is with home-made cyanide (bleach and ammonia). The vapors are extremely poisonous cyanide. Cyanide has no chance of survival. It is a free radical that destroys red blood cells.
A free radical means that there is nothing that will react with it to nuetralize its effects, in other words, once introduced into the human body, if not removed (if introduced cutaneously, it could be cut out instantly) it will continue to destroy your red blood cells until there were non left.
You would die of metalbolic failure, cell death, suffocation... I believe this method would be quite painful as you would quickly die in a cell by cell death. However I don't know if it would be painful or if the release of death would be worth it.
DO NOT attempt blowing your brains out with a gun. You can live through it if you don't do it right. For example, a little known fact of Kurt Cobain's suicide, he had to blow his head off twice.
The first time, he missed and blew half his head off, passed out, and came to realizing his error. With half a head he finished the job.
One of my lost friends/roommates was a ICU Nurse for over 20 years and told me of some of her patients who attempted suicide with a gun and only blew out their spinal column and lived. Forever condemned to a life as a quad, never being able to end it, forever hooked up to machines keeping them alive against their desires.
Pills, if you try and fail, too many things can go wrong. Someone may find out, if you live and they know, your life as it is, gets worse 10 fold. Even if noone finds out of the failed attempt, the subsequent side-effects can have permanent effects such as:
-Toxicity (causing organ death/failure) try living w/ a colostomy bag hanging out your ass, or hooked up to a dialysis machine (not that I can imagine an overdose failure ending in a colostomy bag, but...)
-Brain Damage (hey, this might solve the suicidal behavior, a do-it-yourself lombotomy)
All of these will end w/ someone knowing of your failed attempt; and although it might get you help (probably just a lot of psycho-bable bs) you'll be forever classified a 51/50 and if you ever overcome the suicidal times of your life, you'll always be labled mentally ill.
Jumping off a building/high place... U want your remains to be roadkill? If you don't care about that, do you want to live through that and be like the poor bastard who tried to blow his brains out and failed, forever consigned as a quad?
Try the noose, and if you fail, you can have a tell-tale scare around your neck. Or, if your lucky to break your neck but unlucky and live... again a quad.
Face it. The fact is we are meant to be tortured and tormented. Why play into it, why make it stronger. Why make it worse. Life sucks and will find a way to SCREW you over every time, and if you try to beat life, I fear a guarantee that it will rise up and really make things worse.
I know how stupid that sounds, but think about it. If it wasn't true, why are you reading this, why are you so miserable. Your reading this, your at this page because your spirit longs to be free of this mortal coil, this hell; and you KNOW life hates you, and does anything it can to make your life miserable.
Anyway, like the 31 yo w/ wife and kids (for your kids my heart dies, because of your pain and where I fear you will end up; for you my hear bleeds, your pain is unjust; and for your wife my heart hates, her apathy and attitude are tantamount to murder) I have muscle relaxers, and a few months worth of HIV cocktail that I plan on o/ding on. I've tried these last 20 years to not take any meds hoping to die quicker, but I'm just unlucky and am one of those doomed to live with it, forever sick.
I don't know when I will finally finish this, I know there is still something left undone, something I have to do. I just hope I have done it by writing here, passing along some tidbits of knowledge that may help others.
Anyway, feel free to post my email, or edit my message for content or length as you see fit. Anyone who responds to my email address while I still persevere I will attempt to answer.
Anyway, blessed be all. ONA and Sigma Pi forever
Delta: Duke of Hurl of the Eta Iota Chapter
|22 Oct 2006||Bunnie||I have already died. I killed myselff, but when the hospital pumped out all of the things I took and did CPR I came back. My life isn't the same now. If you want to kill yourself just remember one thing not everyone gets a second chance.|
|22 Oct 2006||Rae||Hey this is RAe again. you sent me an e-mail. here's my reply.
i was put into the hospital for attempted suicide. no fun. There all i wanted to do waz die. Their only care is that you don't die. they don't care if your hapy or not. But when i came out i found all my friends waiting for me. They all loved me so much. Sad to say though two days later i took a lot of sleeping pills and wishkey and tried yet again. that night my stomach hurt like shit and i threw up a million times. That didn't work. To anyone that is reading this. If you suicidal just think about it. what is there after death. will it be worse than this? if you need someone that you can talk to, someone who wont try and change your mind but will just listen then message me its email@example.com
to the ones that make fun of sucicide victims calling us emo and shit. wow get a life. your not the only one living this one so don't be a bitch to the others.
the the girl that invented this site. do you really want to kill yourself or is this for a paper or a sick joke. anyway suicide is not something to kid about asking people how to kill yourself if your under 13 is not good. if your under 13 then u've haven't had life yet. wait it out. and see what happens.
|22 Oct 2006||dic savant||lucy cortina and your behemothly sized breasts, im in love with you! i've read your dirty tale, and i've heared of your fickle-tits, read between the lines and minded the gap... they are for me, i know it! it was mistress fate that sent me the inclination to find you on this website - still unsure as to my attraction to you and your gargantuan milk ducts, but i now know it is fate. and i simply have one question to ask you: CAN I MILK YOU?|
|21 Oct 2006||Chris||Jump off a building. Im going to do it in a couple of days.|
|21 Oct 2006||The Bitter End||I know the layout of this site like the inside of my head.
I enjoyed your post Erik. It's a shame you get so much spam. I've been known to contact those foolish enough to leave an email address.
|21 Oct 2006||I don't care how you do it.||Sometimes all I can think about is scraping the polish off my nails.
Sometimes I realise just what's going on, and what's going to happen, and how far away I might be able to get, and all that's left underneath it all, when you pull it away, is me.
And I know that'll never be enough.
Sometimes the futility of it all gets a bit too intense.
We keep moving. Day by day. We breathe.
Sometimes the only thing that keeps me going forward is bringing it all back down to earth.
Underneath it all, it's still me.
Sometimes scraping the polish off my nails is just enough to ground me.
|21 Oct 2006||Shawn Turner||Hi. I am a 31 year old male, living in Ohio with a wife and 2 children. And I want to die. I simply do not care about this life, or any of the bullshit that comes with. This is deep seeded for me, for I am the suicidalist.
I have no family, no brothers, no sisters, no mom, no dad, nothing. Aside from my wife and 2 children.
My wife? She tells me to shut up and do it already.
My children? They are young and most likely will grow up to learn what a loser I am.
Whats stopping me? Nothing. I have currently in front of me enough muscle relaxers in front of me that will stop any and all activity in my body. For good measures, I also have sediatives that will peacefully place me in a sleep. Combo of both, and I will not wake up.
I just don't care. I see people talk of pain that will be cause upon someone's death, whether it be suicide, or "just their time". None of us live forever, not a single soul or being on this green earth. We all die, its life.
Selfish? Hardly. I rather think of it as beating the odds, and besides; whats it really all matter anyways?
Good luck in all you do and enjoy the sweetness of silence and overcoming darkness.
|21 Oct 2006||Up yours everyone||How should I do it? Quick and painless of course. I do not want to suffer. Plus, I don't want to leave behind some greusome scene of violence for someone I care for to discover. I know! I'll go up into the mountains and find some cave or perhaps a sewer drain pipe.. Climb deep inside, and then blow my brains out. The body would have long decomposed to just a skeleton before it would be discovered. I could leave behind cryptic notes telling them that I went off to Nepal to meditate with the lamas. Yes, that's a good idea. Perhaps I'll go to Nepal and find the cave to off myself in there. That would be an ever better idea, methinks. Ah, to die. To fall asleep forever. I wonder if you dream when you're dead? Is the afterlife permanent dreamstate? One can only speculate. At any rate, life right now as it is here is far too unpleasant to possibly tolerate anymore. I mean, shit, day after day --- waking up, a hateful experience to be sure: being robbed of the only joy in my life, the blissful escapism of the dreamworld --- to a world where I must hastfuly pop out of bed, bathe, throw on some clothes and run as quick as I can, to nothing the sweet seclusion of my apartment place where I can dwell in misery on how lonely I am. I must beg the pardon of you, my esteemed reader, at this point. I have been behaving quite aloof lately and have made no efforts to reveal who in fact I am. I am your standard issued slightly-more-intelligent-than-the-average-shithead-in-public-school kid who grew up in suburban 70s and 80s Texas, a perfect example of public schooling, yet intelligent nonetheless to become quite good at computing as a hobby which started out as a mediocre shit. You know how it was back then ... how many of you people met your first real friend when you first started making that big dot-com money? And how many of you people are going through a breakup (if you'd been smart) or a divorce (or proceeding towards one currently) by now? We were unpopular kids, most of us, in high school... but then we went and started making the $$$. people started treating us a bit different then, didn't they! Well, I digress. I have made the decision to begin planning my own termination.
|21 Oct 2006||I hate myself, I hate my life, I am unloveable, never will find happiness, and will die poor, miserable, cold, and alone -- unless I OFF MYSELF FIRST!!|
|21 Oct 2006||jenni||Don't, Kid you haven't lived yet.
I'm 15 almost 16 and was badly abused as a child and became anorexic.
theres always another awnser.
|21 Oct 2006||ben||hey man i know this dont seem big but im a christian in a very very non-christian school im getting more depressed each day because its so hard i dont want to commit suicide but im just in a real tuff situation its not that big to some people but im just so depressed can u help me??|
|21 Oct 2006||I don't know about the "best" but the easiest way is jumping down head first from a high place or if you're living in the USA just get your parents' gun and blow your head off.|
|21 Oct 2006||one two mic checka||the age old question:
what is the best way to kill yourself when you're under 13?
well probably the best way to kill yourself when under 13 is the same best way to kill yourself when over 13. now this is where we get down to brass tacks. when you are 13 years and one day old are you over 13 or just plain old 13. having established that, we have a third category. plain old 13 year olds. is it for just one day or a whole year? and what is the best way to kill yourself when you are just plain old 13 years old? because the number 13 has significance. it signifies several things. mattias, the 13th disciple of Jesus Christ. it signifies a day known as friday the 13th which is where people who were accused of witchcraft where burned at the stake and some might have been witches but some where not and so until now 13 has been considered unlucky. which brings me to another point. you either believe in luck or fate. now if you believe in luck many people have tured 13 and not killed themselves. however many people have killed themselves and been 13 so i am not sure that has any relevance except to obviously point to the fact i do not believe in luck. luck is a word that comes from another language that means lucifer. now i do believe he exists but i also believe he is a liar and wants to see you kill yourself. which brings me to fate. and you are either going to kill yourself or you arent. and if someone who cannot tell the truth wants you to kill yourself then he is lying which means that even the most evil being dosent want you to kill yourself. 13 is also a number used by some mexican gangs. they usually have 13 rules they go by.
|20 Oct 2006||jordan||Hi i am jordan, i am a 19 year old woman from australia who has recently been reading the stories on this suicide site, i really feel for all of you who feel suicidal and or depressed,
i have been in the darkness of suicide,
i was sexually abused from the age of 6 to 14, my mother died when i was 16 and i became depressed, i had an eating disorder and began cutting myself, i went down hill quickly and attempted suicide twice but was put into hospital so i could not attempt it again, i hated anyone touching me, more so men most likley due to the sexual abuse, i realised that i was gay and that had a huge effect on me because my family are homophobic so i couldn't tell them and had no support in this area.
i never spoke to anyone about my problems, i wore long sleeved shirts so no one could see the scars on my wrists, i should have talked with someone, a proffessional, but i didn't because i didn't trust people, but that was a mistake, i should have asked for help because those are things that no one should have to deal with on their own.
so if anyone wants to talk about what they are feeling feel free to e-mail me and talk to me.
|20 Oct 2006||hyawatha||Whomever erected this web page is a small person alone in the world with out God - I feel pity for you. As for the answer to your question. Its best to wait until your 14.|
|20 Oct 2006||gods girl||Read this childish fukkin forum - grow up ya buncha inbreds!!!|
|20 Oct 2006||Katerine||play chess while you're being eated by my little dog. or play chess with a dead person, that should do it.|
|19 Oct 2006||Marianne||jump out of a bridge og hanging|