|Reading these suicide pages you will find people seeking help and people offering their help. Some witness about suicide from real life experience, others who play along with me would pretend it's a children's game. Some make sick and cruel jokes about it, and angry people blame me for even mentioning the subject. You might also want to read my favourite answers. If you want your answer to be included here, fill in the form.|
What is the best way to kill yourself when you're under 13?
Quelle est la meilleure forme de suicide pour les moins de 13 ans?
|11 Apr 2007||Tom||I wish I knew.
I'm 17 and I'm in a fairly serious relationship with a girl. We've been going out for nearly two years and about six months ago we had sex. I wasn't really sure if i wanted to but I did it cos i knew she wanted it, and because i love her.
The problem is, I think i might be gay. I'm so confused, when i'm with her everything is perfect but when we're apart I find that i'm not attracted to her and my mind drifts to guys at my school.
Before we started going out i told my best friend i was gay, but she blabbed to everybody and i suppose i only started going out with her to prove i'm not. i was happy for a while but now it kills me to think of what all ths is gonna do to her. I just need to find out who i really am.
I can't sleep right anymore and i'm a recovering anorexic. and i'm beginning to get feelings for this guy who's a really close friend of my girlfriend.
i just want to die and leave it all behind. i don't want to have to worry about who i am anymore
|11 Apr 2007||fuckubrent||Meet Brent Portman. u wont only wanna kill urself but kill him too. hes a bakstabbing asshole!|
|11 Apr 2007||alex n||dear god,
today i stopped beliving in you
i stopped because i just thought that how can you be real,
i have prayed and prayed asking you to heal my pain
and i have never got a responce, my heart is still broken as it ever was
so what will it take, i want to be in a relationship with you,
but i dont know what i am worshiping is real
i cry out to you almost every night in one way or another
how i long for us to be together
are you ignoring every word i said?
where are you now, as i am writing this with my heavy heart
where where you last month when i tried to kill myself?
why do you just sit back and watch me go though this emotional pain
when will it end?
because i need to feel happy again
and it feels like it will never happen
i cant see the light
all i can see i darkness
why are you ignoring me god
it feels like i am fighting everyday by myself
and i need somebody, maybe that somebody is you?
what happens after death
cuz i came close the other week
where were you, why wernt you there, helping me along though this shitty life?
pain, pain, pain, thats all i ever feel, and you are supposed to help heal this pain
but you never do, i pray and pray, so why are you ignoring me?
i have even prayed to you saying that i want to die tonight, in my sleep,
and wake up in the kindom, or limbo
why should i worship something that isnt real,
why am i loosing my faith
i was starting to believe in you,
but not anymore
i give up on you god!!!!
you dont want to know me
whats the problem, arnt i good enougth for you, is that it?
you do not bring me happiness,
you do not heal my broken heart
you just ignor ever word that i say to you
so god,whats the deal, i want to know you, i want to let you into my heart
so why are you ignoring me
i have tried, i pray, i go to church, i tell people how awsome you are
but not any more,
i am giving up on you, like you seem to be giving up on me
are you there now?
are you listning now.
i give up
i hate you
has that got your attention!!!!!
you need to make me feel like ive got somebody
you need to make me feel like i am somebody
not just a nobody
because that is what i feel like all the time
ANSWER ME GOD!!!!!!
you seem to answer other people
so why not me?
why dont you heal my broken heart
why cant you end my pain?
oh, i know, next time, i'll pray to get ran over by a trian
fuck u god
i hate you
i dont want to know you
i dont want to be with you
i suddenly feel happy when i rebel against you
whats up with that
im better off without you god!!!!!
i dont need you
i dont want to know you anymore
goodbye god, its been shit knowing you
now that i am giving up on you my life should get better
so ye, goodbye god, goodbye chirstianity
i was never good enougth to get into there anyway
fuck u god, i h8 you and i always will do, from now on,
I GIVE UP ON U GOD!!!!
|11 Apr 2007||i love you isf.||"i ask myself what do i have to lose?
the same thing hapens to us all.
nothing i do that is good will last."
what do those lines mean love?
i hope your not quitting on me.
you just need to hang in there.
i know you wouldn't just leave me like this....but then i think maybe you just wanted to leave...and not have me stop you...
you have to be okay love.
i don't understand why you wouldn't just email me or something.
i wait for you ever single night...and each night my heart breaks a little more because your never there....
please be okay.
i love you.
"we all flirt with the tiniest notion of self conclusion in one simplified motion. you see the trick is that your never suppose to act on it, no matter how unbearable this misery gets"
i'll always be there for you love.
please come talk to me soon.
i can only take this for so long...
love you and miss you so so much.
|11 Apr 2007||erin||go to the train tracks, wait for a train and run in front of it so it hits you|
|10 Apr 2007||HLM||OK, I was in a bad mood when I posted on 4-10-07 about the guy who said girls should just leave guys who are mean to them. I'm sorry especially for swearing and spilling my anger all over the place. It was hard to read all the depressed messages from unhappy children on the message board and know that so many kids are suffering and so many other kids have died b/c of their pain and seeing no way out. I think that pretending suicide is a game is a bad way to go, b/c it's so very real and so very bad when it really does happen. I have been suicidal on and off a lot in my life and I'm mostly VERY GLAD that I did NOT KILL MYSELF. Some days are hard and some days are good. But I have seen what suicide does to the survivors and I do not want to do that to my loved ones, especially the ones who have already suffered such losses before. If you are in a situation where you feel like killing yourself is the only option, please reach out to other people for help; find a safe adult to talk with, call a suicide hotline, write in a journal, go to sleep, play with your pet dog or cat, listen to music, write music, do any thing you can think of that is safe and keeps you from taking away your own life. I do not have the answers for why we are on the planet, but I do believe that each person is unique and special, but most of us think we are lower than dirt, just for things that other people also do or think or feel. We have these mean messages in our heads and these awful pains in our hearts that tell us LIES about ourselves and these feelings and thoughts are very powerful, but that does not make them accurate or correct or even "real" as in "true" so we have to find ways to dismantle their power, to build up friendships and good things to do and say and think and feel in our lives. If you cannot stay alive for a whole day, then break it down into little manageable pieces, like 1 hour or 1 minute, and just keep adding up the time until you get past the feeling and thinking of wanting to kill yourself. I think it's important not to "play" suicide, but I also think a lot more people under 13 are thinking about it than grown-ups want to recognize or let on, and we have to find ways to make it okay to talk about feeling that bad. Childhood is not all easy and happy and shiny and fun like some people pretend it is when they tell you it's the best time in your life, what are you complaining about. But suicide is not the answer, especially when you are still a kid and you haven't even gotten to live on your own yet, b/c sometimes that can make things a lot easier on your mind and heart, when you are no longer under the control of people who do not have your best interests as their goals. I have also read that most of the methods that people use to attempt suicide are (1) VERY PAINFUL, and (2) OFTEN UNSUCCESSFUL, so you should not risk it unless you are willing to end up paralyzed or with other problems b/c of brain damage and stuff from what you did to yourself. Again, it's not the best choice to make; you can find so many other things to do with your time and energy, including reaching out to other people who are hurting and helping them understand that they are not alone b/c you know what it's like to feel bad too. And you can play video games or read books or sleep or swim or make friends or go for walks or make art or poetry or sing or study or play sports or hang out with your siblings or meditate or pray or make jewelry or friendship bracelets or play frisbee or get a job and save up money to do something cool in the future. And you can ask for help from teachers, friends, parents, peers, hotlines, support groups. There is NOTHING wrong with needing help; I think that's why we are on this planet for one reason, is to be there for each other, b/c we are not meant to do it all alone. If you are hurting so much that you want to die, you probably have a good reason to feel that way, usually b/c of something bad that someone else did to you or that happened to you or that someone or something made you believe about yourself. Some people want to die b/c they masturbate a lot or are gay or lesbian or because they have been sexually abused or had someone break their heart. These are real reasons to feel really bad for a while, b/c they are hard things to cope with in this world, but they are survivable things too. No matter what you have done or had done to you, you can make a difference in your life right now by choosing not to hate and/or kill yourself, by choosing to believe that you really are already okay just who you are. That I can promise you. Life is hard, I won't lie; and it's not often "fair" either; but it's worth the risk to stay alive. Please have compassion for yourself and understand that you have are not crazy to feel pain or to think you want to die; and that you can choose not to die even when you feel like you want to die; you do not have to act on these feelings. You can find ways to stay alive for another hour or another day and you can find people and things that will help you heal whatever made you feel so awful. I am so amazed by the open and honest sharing of so many kids and adults about their suicidal feelings and the terrible pain of losing a sibling or friend to suicide. You all have inspired me to keep going and I hope I have helped you a little too.|
|10 Apr 2007||dead inside.||please keep holding onto me.|
|10 Apr 2007||dead inside,||check your gmail.
get back to me.
i am so worried.
love you forever and always.
|10 Apr 2007||i love you isf.||i would never hurt you.
you know that.
why are u hurting me then.
if you love me, then you won't leave me here alone.
you made promises to always be there and to always be okay.
you have to keep those promises.
if you leave me, then i am going to come after you.
you should know that already.
i love you so much.
please be okay.
i can't do any of this without you.
|10 Apr 2007||isf, don't do this.||i swear to god if you leave me alone here i am coming too. isf don't leave me. i don't want to do this without you. don't go. please. why are you hurting me if you love me. don't do this please. come back to me. i love you so much. please keep holding on to me. don't leave. please. please.|
|10 Apr 2007||i love you isf||dont go
don't leave me
i can't do this
if you leave me
i am coming after you
i love you
i love you
talk to me one more time please
i don't understand what your trying to tell me
please come back.
i love you so much.
don't leave me.
|10 Apr 2007||GODS WAITING 4 ME 2 COME BACK 2 HIM, U MYT NT UNDERSTAND Y HE WU||GOD DOES EXIST, HE HAS BEEN WITH U THRU ALL UR SUFFERING HES SEEN U ASK PPL 4 HELP OR NT TALK 2 ANY1 HE WATCHES U CAREFULLY EVERYDAY HOPIN JUS MAYB U WIL GIV HIM A CHANCE. I WAS GUNA DO IT ON SUNDAY ON EASTER TIL SUM1 OUT OF N0 WHERE CAME 2 ME AND SED U KNW WAT UR FUCKIN PATHETIC DNT U C WAT UV BEEN GIVEN AL THIS TYM GOD HAS BEN W8N 4 U HOW DO U XPECT TO LIVE UR LIFE IF U DNT EVN READ THE MANUAL!|
|10 Apr 2007||HLM||Okay, I am totally pissed off at the guy who said that women who stay with asshole men are just stupid and should just plain fucking leave them. Obviously the ideal thing to do is to leave the asshole, but it's just not that fucking easy, or people would just up and fucking do it already. You obviously have no idea what it's like to be stuck in a relationship and not know how to get away and not even know if there is something wrong with you or with him or with the world or life in general. Women and men who are in relationships where they are being abused get confused, scared, lonely, depressed, often think they deserve the abuse or don't recognize it as abuse. They may feel trapped b/c the other person has convinced them that they are incompetent, or threatened to kill them or someone else whom they love if they leave. Yelling at them for not leaving is NOT going to help the situation. If you really want to help women (and men) who are being abused, then contact some rape and abuse crisis shelters and resources lines and educate yourself about how to be really helpful instead of just judgmental and pissed off.|
|09 Apr 2007||kitten||hello i know i aint 13 i am 19 last year in summer when i was 18 i took about 42 paracetamol and went out for the night with my friend i was taking more while out with alchol and i collasped on the floor at the nightclub. I was being picked on because i was clever and people were jealous so mum said, also i was sexual attacked when i was a little younger, At the hospital when i woke my friend mum and dad was their it was awful to see their face i felt awful. However my life changed for the better and i was ok after that i regreted doing such a thing. Now again my life as got worse i had a good job and this lad who i was good friends with me suppose to have been really liked me and he got me in trouble at work because he worked their to and i might end up getting sack now because of him this is the job i always wanted to do aswell all my life and because he picked me up one night when i was downtown and i was drunk he tried to have sex with me while i was asleep and i wouldnt let him and i told him to take me home so he got me in trouble. so basically because of his lies and he couldnt get what he wouldnt the job i always wanted to do might end, the job i have evolved my life round so my life as got worse again and i want to die once again but i just do not want to hurt my mum again like before. theres other reasons to but do not want to say|
|09 Apr 2007||no1||To It's tearing up my heart
You can't be sure you will die if you crash most people get injuries that hurt for years, and the worst part is your family and "friends" all know what you tried to do and talk about it a lot that is even worse, so don't kill yourself
E mail me at TBA
Anyone else who needs help can E- mail me too
|09 Apr 2007||Svante||I dont feel anything anymore. Its like somebody ripped the part that feels happiness right out of my body. My life is meaningless. School is fucking up. I cant see why i should struggle so hard to live if life isnt worthwhile? Is there any reason that i should not commit suicide?|
|08 Apr 2007||im tired of life||i've always been like the happiest girl in the world and even when i was sad no one could tell b/c i'd put on a fake smile and act like er thing was ok, that was until i got into high skool. I've had to deal wit er body sayin im bi and then my grandparents both died then after that my dad died then my best friend started doin drugs and pretty much stopped talkin to me, a few months after that the boi i love broke up wit me and lately i jus wanna die.I used to think those ppl who cut themeselve and talk about suicide were crazi but now i am that person. I started cutting jus recently and I've already wrote the letter to leave 4 my friends and family i'm jus so tired of all the dissapointment and hurt in my life and im soo ready 4 it to jus be over...|
|08 Apr 2007||joe||I too am thinking of ending it all. I have lived 45 years on this earth and I have had enough of it. i am tired of the struggles with money ,relationships and just society in general.I developed acne during my teen years and it left some scarring on my back and face ...the emontional pain is far worse. say what u want about personality it does not matter all anyone can see are the scars. when u are 45, short, bald and overweight, broke,with a scarred face the choices are downright none. it affects jobs(which i have had too many to count although none at the moment)i see people talkin about me in public, no one makes eye contact if they do they quickly look away. no dates, nothin tired of borrowing money from my parents now they too have turned their back on me. my best friend is my dog and he is aging 15 years and getting crippled so when he dies i am going out with him. life sucks i can only think of 3 or 4 good moments in my life in 45 years. no one will give me a good paying job b/c i dont have that college ed. my parents could not afford for me to go to college but i am as smart as any those types just never given the chance. in 45 years i have never heard my parents say one good thing about me. my dad once said the biggest mistake he made was bringing 2 kids into the world. i want ed to get some help but i realize when u do u lose certain rights(gun ownership) so thats not an option.i dont want to die but i have no choice i am at the end of the rope so to speak when my pet dies so do i!!!!|
|07 Apr 2007||-----||best thing to do is find somebody who you love. doesnt have to be of opposite sex or sexual at all. just someone who wont judge you and you can talk to anytime. about an hour away from death mine started talking to me and i pulled through. i hope you ppl are as lucky as me|
|06 Apr 2007||i love u mina||twisted minds reflections
suspended in time.
empathy nurses me weak.
frozen in my only window.
i am not who i want to be.
you are my fuel.
i ask myself what do i have to lose?
i speak outloud.
the same thing hapens to us all.
nothing i do that is good will last.
maybe life is to hard on purpose.