Reading these suicide pages you will find people seeking help and people offering their help. Some witness about suicide from real life experience, others who play along with me would pretend it's a children's game. Some make sick and cruel jokes about it, and angry people blame me for even mentioning the subject. You might also want to read my favourite answers. If you want your answer to be included here, fill in the form.

Date Name/email

Nom/email
What is the best way to kill yourself when you're under 13?

Quelle est la meilleure forme de suicide pour les moins de 13 ans?
28 Jun 2007 mary ive never really considered suicide until now, but for the past year and a half ive botteled up so many horrible things i just dont know what else to do. i dont want a therapist, i dont want to pay someone i dont know to tell me how to live my own life that i messed up.. but id like help from someone my own age. my friends just cant understand.. nothing like this has happened to them.

i am actually 14 years old now. when i was 13, i fell in love with a boy named sean who i thought was everything- apparently everything included his girlfriend, his need for sex, and his lies to get it from me. sean was also friends with a boy named jeff- who was the first guy to ever have interest in me, and the first guy i talked about sex with. he and i were in a relationship and had considered sex, but when i met his friends sean... i fell in love with his friend instead. ever since then jeff has hated me. for multiple months sean and i would sneak out to see each other, be in each others company, and because he wanted to- i would give into sex. when summer approached, i told him i couldnt have him lying to his girlfriend anymore, and i cut it off. that september, i met a new guy named chris. my relationship with him was more serious-- he was in love with me. i tried for so long to try and love him back, but i just couldnt. later on in our relationship, sean said he missed me. he said i was the best thing that had ever happened to him, i was his beautiful and brilliant dream girl.. i believed it.. but i knew i couldnt break up with chris. for months and months i talked to sean on the phone and on aim- but never saw him in person. in late december, a friend, her brother, her brother's friend and i went on a short 2 night trip. one of those nights, i got drunk with my friend's brother and his friend... 2 drunk guys and a girl. i was taken advantage of. my friend's mom found out that we got drunk- however she didnt find out that i was taken advantage of. and ive kept it that way. but when my friend's mom told my parents, my dad beat the shit out of me. that was the first time i had ever cheated and i didnt know what to tell chris, so i lied. everything was ok until months later in feburuary that i was dumb enough to go to a party with jeff, sean, and guy named parker. when i was drunk, i went to seans arms and just started bawling. i couldnt take it anymore. when sean left though to go throw up, jeff pulled me over to the side and took advantage of me. when i woke up the next morning, my dad found a bottle of left over champaign in my room and beat me again. at the time, i was in love with chris. but having now cheated twice, i knew i didnt deserve him. so i broke up with him. when my friends found out why i had broken up with him, and who i had cheated with (they hated sean).. they dumped me. i had lost my love for chris and my best friends. when chris and i werent together, i saw sean more and more. finally chris expressed his love to me and i went back to him... but i still loved sean. and i kept seeing sean. also about this time, one of my oldest and best friends completely back stabbed me. she told the school about my old sex life, about how i had cheated, and lies about how i hated everyone in the school.. when i whole middle school hates you because of what a "best" friend did... its hard to just suck it up. back to me and chris, a few weeks ago, he said he loved me more than anything in the world. recently i broke up with him. i didnt tell him why, i didnt want him to know. but my reason was because i dont deserve to be loved. not anymore. ive cheated to many times, ive done to him what sean did to me. having loved sean and him not love me back... i know exactly how chris feels. and now.. i just really want to die. im tired being taken advantage of. im tired of having love decieve me. im just tired now.
28 Jun 2007 dead inside. Dear Lover,

I see a sense of wonder deep inside your eyes
As we're sparkling and twirling in the twilight
And after three long years, I think that we both need this
So we seal the deal in the parking lot with a kiss

And in case you
And in case you were wondering, you are like a sunset to me
You're all kinds of beautiful as you end my day
And you sweetly retire as stars chase you away

I'd collapse to the grass, with your notes ringing in my head
Let the rain fill my mouth, and in a couple hours I'll be dead
But all the while my lips are whistling our tune
But the beauty lies in how you will revive me soon

And in case you, and in case you
And in case you were wondering, you are like a sunset to me
You're all kinds of beautiful as you end my day
And you sweetly retire as the stars chase you away

And in case you were wondering, you are like a sunset to me
You're all kinds of beautiful as you end my day
And you sweetly retire as the stars chase you away

And in case you were wondering, you are like a hurricane to me
Your violence is beautiful, and your center sweet
Now tell me this, do you know how we'd meet?

And in case you were wondering, you are everything to me (to me)
28 Jun 2007 E I write poetry, just wanted to put some on here.



ME FOR BEING ME

Sticks and stones
may break my bones
but words will never
hurt me.

I know
I know what they have been
saying
about me.

She tells him
everything
about me
yet nothing about me.

He hears about my fire
my atheism
but he doesn't know
about my care.

He does
not know
about my kindness
my friendship and truth.

All they do is talk
about me
say I'm the
"daughter of Satan."

They say I'm possessed
I'm hell-sent
I'm the antichrist
I'm wrong.

She says he was trying to
help me
I don't need help
I am me.

I am me
I am proud
I am who I am
I am not letting them change me.

I am an atheist
I am a pyro
I am a Marilyn Manson fan
I am speaking words.

I speak words
I speak the truth
they spread lies
lies can kill.

If he really is
as insane as I think
lies can kill
they can kill me.

Me for being me
me for being the
me I want to be
me for being me.

I will die a martyr
I will die myself
I will die against him
I will die in truth.

Sticks and stones
may break my bones
and words will always
prove me strong.



MY HAPPY POEM

Many days I am so down
Yet here is my poem to bring me back up.

Hola! Shout to the world how much you care
About your friends, your life, you matter to
People all around you and they would be sad if you
Passed on into death.
Yell out defiance to sadness!

Pain is but a moment in life
Open your heart to your dreams abroad.
Empty your heart of hurt from those who
Mock you, all that matters is that you believe in yourself.

Someday you will find that
Hate is only relative
Enclosed in those who are insecure
Dreams will be fulfilled if you
Stay true to your song.

Love will fill you to the brim
It carries you away from the loneliness.
Greet it openly each day!
Hold it in your embrace!
Tell it how much it means!

Ignorance will not capture you
Never will it fill you.

Take the life you deserve
Happiness will come to you
Eventually, just hold on tight!

Dare to be different
Atheism, Marilyn Manson fan, poet, and goth
Relive each moment with a memory
Kindle fire with a fresh spark!




ALL THE CARE IN THE WORLD KILLS

No one
ever takes the time
to know him
thats why they are doing this.

I care so much
about him
if only they saw him through
my sparkling teary eyes.

They think he needs
these meds
just because he's different
unique, if you will.

He isn't disabled
he is just depressed
but in a world with them
who wouldn't be?

They want to kill
stab, decapitate, and shrink
his individuality
by turning him into one of them.

Just because he can
think, by himself
doesn't mean
he is wrong.

It is quite the contrary.
They are wrong
about him and about it all
and they don't care.

Now he's hurting
more than before
more than what they wanted to 'fix'
they are hurting him more.

If only they all
knew him as well
as I do, then
then they would care, no.

Then they would want to kill him
even more because he is
unique and in their bloody lusting eyes
he is an abomination, alas, he is not.
28 Jun 2007 derby I know a way to kill myself but I dont want to share
When you go outside on a 4th of july you'll see
its easy and simple and its very cheap
the japanese took it, but it seems so american
the way I'm going to do it
you will figure out in time, the best way to do it

Maybe I'm already dead and my sould dont know it
I'm going to close my eyes tonight for the last time here
I wish I could have someone video tape me and putting it on a website lol
28 Jun 2007 Derby And today when I close my eyes, I will make all just go away.... I'm sitting here on my sofa, drinking like a pirate, but I've never been a drinker so this is a bit harsher. And today seems like a good day, to die and be pain free. I'm nursing my glass here like my new baby boy. I love him, I adore, this glass is my joy. My sorrows and loneliness will be gone afloat.

I have always had basic cable!!!! but today I have premium, since I wont be here to pay for it, might as well make the best of it. My place has been trashed by my manic depressive state, I dont know who made this mess but I know he is not feeling well. Sex woul be nice but its hard to find someone to love the talking-dead. Smoking like a chimney, Newport 100's, got lots of empty cartons laying around, who smoked it all? Things are falling as I type this, and I will fall shortly. My expiration date is here, seems like tonight might be well. The gasses will kill me, silently it will be. Eating is painful, I never taw eating could hurt so much. I rather starve I dont see the point. And when I get drunk and high, I will do this the right way. Sleeping pills waiting, to be swallowed and tasted. I'm your typical classical manic depressive guy. I want to die cuz life is hard and I'm too weak to stay alive. I always knew I was weak from the very first time I saw life.
28 Jun 2007   It is so stupid to try and kill your self i did try and it didnt work but i learnt that there was more to life then to try and kill urself especialy when you are young.
27 Jun 2007 E I just want to let everyone know I would have killed myself a long time ago if I didn't care so much about others. I used to use this phrase a lot, "I am such a pushover, I would let myself get hurt over and over again just to keep everyone else happy."

But.... reading this site made me realize that that's not the case. I think the thing everyone here who is hurting needs, is someone to care about. If you have someone you really love, someone you don't want to hurt no matter what, someone just to hang on to, then you will be okay. I have a few ideas, I mean, if you don't have anyone in real life to love and be loved.

1. You know those programs where you send money to kids in Africa or soldiers in Iraq? Well, maybe you could become penpals or something with someone there. Those people need you, and you need them. It goes hand in hand. If you kill yourself, then who will they have? You sure as hell don't want to hurt them!

2. Go on some sort of online chatroom. Not some weird one with sex and shit, just a chatroom with people your age. Find a few people you can just connect with. Maybe you all have the same religion or the same interests. Maybe even the same stories. If you all have each other, then you'll have something to hang on to. Even if one person in the group turns out to be an asshole, then at least you will have others.

Idk, just random ideas I thought of. People need people. I don't care (well, I do care) about how many times people have hurt you, if you search and search and put your heart and mind to it, then you will find someone to care about and be cared about.

I have C. If he dies, I'm screwed. But at least I have something to live for. Even if he dies, I might try to live his dream for him or come up with something of meaning. Find someone. Anyone. Just someone to love and care about. Then you will be okay.

I hope you all know I am totally serious about all of my ideas and my story.
27 Jun 2007 E Well, I just want to share my story here. I'm 13 and have been suicidal for two years now, since sixth grade. Last year I wanted to die because I felt like I had nothing to look forward to and that life is poinless and that I'm just a small, pathetic thing in this whole giagantic world and only a few people would care if I died. I felt so empty because I was so afraid to be myself. I was preppy and pretended to be someone else. At the beginning of seventh grade I turned goth or something and started telling everyone who I was and just being myself. I told people I'm an atheist and what music I listen to and my ideals and what I think about the world. They hated me. The whole middle school shit popped up and my own friends from last year started talking about me behind my back, saying I'm satanic and shit. Then there was this one kid, I'll call him R, who hurt me so badly. He tried converting me, he told be I was the antichrist and I was possessed and a load of bullshit to do with him and his love for freaking Christianity. He turned so many people against me. (I'm talking in past tense because its summer now and school is out, but it'll all start up again next year, if not worse.) I couldn't walk down the halls without people shouting emo and cutter at me. People would walk up to me and ask me if I was an atheist, and then laugh when I told them yes. I'm just so hurt. Nearly everyone I know goes out of their way to hurt me. And its all because of me and my stupid big mouth telling people about, well, me. There is only one person I have been able to turn to, I'll just call him C. I started becoming really close to C around February. I really love him and care about him. We are nearly the same exact person. He is also suicidal, if not more than me. His parents are putting him on medication. I'm so afraid for him, because you know how sometimes those things can just make people worse, and C is the kind of person who would get worse because of them. If he dies I won't be able to live. I'm just so hurt. I hurt all the time. I don't know what to do. I feel like starting all over. And its not like I want to die, I just wish I was never born. I don't want to hurt C or my mom or brother. I just want to disappear. Damn. Now I'm crying. Shit, at least everyone in my house is asleep by now. (12 midnight) Damn it all.
27 Jun 2007 The Princess I've wanted to kill myself for the past 5 years...and everytime i got to breaking point there was always someone there to stop me...or I'd try and get stopped. The most recent one was i tried to OD on painkillers...but my parents found me and rushed me to the hospital...now i am in intensive therapy...i see a therapist every day...but trust me...my life is done...i can't live here anymore...but good ways to kill yourself this is the method i will use next "shooting yourself" almost guaranteed death...
27 Jun 2007   To stop thinking. (Got this from "I think; therefore I am.)
26 Jun 2007 Day I have written on this sight once before a little while ago, but I thought I would post again since so much has happened since then. I have suffered from severe depression and anxiety since I was about ten years old. I would often feel such a severe hatred at myself as well as a deep sadness that seemed endless. Often I would find that this pain was unbearable and it also made me feel totally out of control, so I would hurt myself in a variety of ways such as cutting, banging my head, strangling myself, burning myself, even hurting myself sexually. I would let boys take advantage of me because I though it was a sign of love. Since I could not love myself I looked for love in different places. And these boys who I gave everything I had would always betray me and hurt me. I soon discovered that these boys only wanted my body and instead of this making me hate them I only started to hate myself more. After a horrible week I was in the bathroom prying the razor blades out of my razor. When one was loose I sat on the floor and slowly slit myself across the wrist savoring the pain and the feeling of my hot blood running down my arm. I cut again and again. Instead of my usual feeling of peace after the pain I only felt severe anxiety, I lost it and had a panic attack on the floor. That’s when I realized, I hated feeling this way, I HATED it more than anything else, so I called the one person I knew would help, my sister. She immediately told me to go get my brother (my parents where out.) I got him and he called my parents who then took me to children’s where the physiatrist ordered me to be hospitalized. I won’t tell you about my week there because that would take pages and pages. I can tell you once thing: I did not leave there happy, but I left ready to become happy because I had regained that hope that had been deferred for so long that was the hope that there was something beyond my pain. I had to let go of that person who controlled me, something that I like to call my darker side and I had to let my lighter side take control. I had created this person who was fat and ugly and stupid and a failure and I was so sad because who wouldn’t be when they are that horrible, but I realized that person is not I. I am slowly letting this person go. It is so hard when I feel horrible and sad and angry and all I want to do is to make myself hurt and bleed but I stop myself usually. I am learning how to get well. It is so god damn hard but I am doing it because feeling the way I have felt for so long is so god damn harder. So to all the people out there who don’t feel people care I am not going to tell you they do because I KNOW what it is like to feel unloved, I am not going to tell you to get help for there sake but only for yours. I know it feels hopeless and I know that to get better you have to do all the work but I also know that the feeling of happiness that I have not felt for so long is going to be worth it all. I am not going to tell you that you have a wonderful life ahead of you because maybe you don’t but I do know that you have wonderful days and weeks ahead so live for those. I am going to tell you to hope. In my room in the mental hospital there were all these notes and names written by these girls that had stayed there from years ago. It was like a terrible, sad, hopeful story. I put a simple message: Hope, because sometimes that’s all you can do. Live, be at peace and be happy.
26 Jun 2007 jimmy davies The quickest way to wanna kill yaself is a broken heart. da quickest suicide is to rip it out and show it to the person hu broke it.
26 Jun 2007 Secret i have tried, but have never succeeded, either some one has stopped me, or thought about the one i love, and what will happen to him, well i have been thinking lately and i relized i will never see the one i truely love ever again,and thebest way i thought of to commit suicide is to, take some pills and slit your wrist and than jump off of you roof...over dosege of drugs, medical abuse? well any one got a better way to do it? if i actually had a reason to live i wouldn't be thinking of death so damn much.
26 Jun 2007 The Bitter End. Warped Soul - Let's take a minute to dissect that explosion of creative genius you just posted:

1) well maybe when u find my body they'll say that was an accident.

2) whats even better is since you sleep so soundly i am going to put your finger on the trigger and make you pull the trigger. you will wake immeadiately to see red mist splattered on your forearm and fist and a nice little cloud disapating. you will see what you have done.

He's not so much going to "find" your body as wake up with morning wood knowing that he's rid of you.

3) then they will find the note i mailed today already.
the fucking note reads:
did i finnally make you happy dad? i did what you said would be doing the whole world a favor.
i didnt want to do it but i wanted to make you happy daddy.
at least this way i wont feel it if you beat me anymore.

4) and i already called the cops and said help me my dad is gonna shoot me.

I think the note may negate the whole 'murder' scenario you've so artfully set up.


Finally, an overall amendment:

A suicide kit is a mother's womb, with a little dash of sea-m/s-on salt.
Little bundle of joy gets to live in Hell.
Thanks mom, thanks dad.
Yeah right, you wanted to fuck.
I'm an accident, right?
Well maybe when you find my body they'll say that was an accident.
Then they will find the note I mailed today.
The fucking note reads;
I'm sorry mom and dad that you've been burdened with me. I wish I could have realised sooner that every child is a disappointment to their parents, instead of wasting my time idly plotting your downfall online. What I've done is a supreme act of stupidity you see, as I realise now that my plan to have you shoot me yourself isn't so much a stroke of genius as a really, really ridiculously funny way to misfire and shoot myself in the shoulder. As you read this I'll be laying in a hospital bed with nurses grinning about me as they walk away.
End of note.

You see kids, this is the kind of idiocy you're going to encounter your entire life. Stay in school.
25 Jun 2007 Jona jump off a bridge
25 Jun 2007 Backstabbed and hurt thanks dead inside for trying to help and seeing if i wanna talk. right now i think its best if i just follow through with killing myself and seriously i think its the best i can ever do, i dont think anyone can help me, i cant trust anyone as it seems, no one will be there for me, no one will ever really care enough that i can give my heart again, its been torn in two many times and i just want to lay down and die.
25 Jun 2007   I can't understand why such idiotic answers like "commit suicide is a good way to kill yourself!!" are among Mouchette's favorites.
24 Jun 2007 Ella I read this site and it makes me sad, I am a suicide survivor i attempted suicide last year and after a few days in icu at the hospital i came to, i would never think about doing it again seeing how much it affected all my family , just know people do care
24 Jun 2007 ari pills... shoot... anything...
24 Jun 2007 Peter Most likely whatever way you kill yourself will echo through your mind as you die sort of like a dream. This is the electrical signals in your mind slowly fading out. If you kill yourself in a way that takes a long time, that pain might be harder to bear in those dreamy last moments.

If you can make sure you're alone so no one can find you and pump your stomach, try overdosing on sleeping pills. Jumping off a very tall building is another good one although there is one instant of shock.

Make sure your mind is prepared and that you really want to do it.

I'm 22 and I still wish I'd killed myself when I was 14, or earlier. If you know that you want to kill yourself so young, good for you.

People say life gets better, but it doesn't. There's just more responsibilities. If you have an unhappy childhood, life isn't going to magically be easier for you. You're not going to win the lottery. Your best hope is to have children, work your whole life and die slightly richer than your parents after indulging in the fantasy life that movies and books and games provide. If this doesn't sound like you, don't bother with it.

I still have a silly dream I want to fulfill but if you don't have something pulling you forward, there really isn't any reason to live.

People ultimately serve themselves. There is no "true love", that's what sell's disney movies. If there is a god, its an all encompassing force and not something that cares whether thousands die in wars or you kill yourself because you're sick of it all.

People tell you not to kill yourself because it makes them feel good inside, it makes them feel like they contributed to someone else's life. Its ultimately selfish.

True happiness comes from within. It has nothing to do with anything or anyone outside of you. It can never be lost or gained.

If you can be happy at the instant of your suicide, as your falling off to sleep or falling off that building, then what's the difference between that and toiling for years and years and dying in bed in happiness? Be happy wherever you are and if you don't feel like going through all the hassle, take the short cut of suicide.

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