|Reading these suicide pages you will find people seeking help and people offering their help. Some witness about suicide from real life experience, others who play along with me would pretend it's a children's game. Some make sick and cruel jokes about it, and angry people blame me for even mentioning the subject. You might also want to read my favourite answers. If you want your answer to be included here, fill in the form.|
What is the best way to kill yourself when you're under 13?
Quelle est la meilleure forme de suicide pour les moins de 13 ans?
|22 Aug 2007||unknown!||i dunno but i wanna die!!! i cant live no more!
no iam not under 13!
|22 Aug 2007||desperate||Where can i find the 101 ways to kill yourself? The original link is http://www.mouchette.org/suicide/archive/answer101.html
Where is it NOW?
|22 Aug 2007||Jodie||I'm 12, 13 next february, and ever since I was 9, i've been cutting myself. Before i first cut myself, I was beaten up in school and my friends, who i'd been with for years, either moved to a different place, or didn't seem interested in me anymore. I started hiding razors from my mum, and cut my ankle, because no one could see there. A year later, me and my brother moved to a different school because the bullying got worse every month. When we moved school, straight away, people started swearing at me, throwing sharp stuff at me, and chasing me with chairs. My mum told the school about this, but they did nothing at all about it. I made only 2 friends during the 2 years at my new school, but 1 of them, Chloe, moved to Oxford, and thats when suicide came into my head. SUICIDE, SUICIDE, SUICIDE. Rebecca, she was unpopular as well, and because we were bullied, it ruined our friendship. Last year, I went to high school. All the girls there hated me, and spreaded rumors that i was lesbian and lots of other hurtful stuff. Then i started cutting my wrists with the razor. The girls still hate me, and i'm starting to take pills from my mums medicine cabinet. I wish the kids did kill me in primary school. My life is never gonna get any better.|
|22 Aug 2007||shawn||turn to god...i promise you he will help, and can fill every void in your life...try talking to him, and just let him know that you want him in your life...he's my savior|
|21 Aug 2007||if you continue not posting my answers for no reason, i'll kill you.|
|21 Aug 2007||still here....||i'm 14, 15 in 5 days. i have attempted suicide 3 times, and failed every time. so my plan is that if i bottle up all the pain and anger inside me, it will make me stronger, strong enough to take my life away. but then i decided i would give life one last chance, for my friends sake. one year ago, i had a close circle of friends. They supported me and really liked me, or so i thought. you see the truth is, i always knew i was different to other people. When i was as young as four, i dreamt about everyone i love dying and things burning and the world coming to an end, and that's not normal! so when i turned 14 i found my feet and realised i was turning into the person i wanted to be. i was fed up of following the crowd and wanted to become my own person. then things took a turn for the worst, i started to suffer from depression. the people i thought were my "friends" left me and ridiculed me because i was different. i got addicted to alcohol and spent 6 days a week, drunk. then one night when i was out i was quite drunk and i was walking along when a strange man, in his 30's, grabbed me by the shoulder and dragged me round the back of the hall, with his hand over my mouth to stop me screaming, yes, i was raped, and he threatened to kill me. every day my depression got worse, until i was diagnosed with manic depression, and saw councellors and psychiatrists every day. and i had no friends left, my own father started to hit me, and tell me that i was a freak and constantly reminded me that i had no friends. that was when i first tried to commit suicide, and failed then i met two people, the only people i could call "real friends" merryn, and matthew. they accepted me for who i am, and that felt good. but merryn moved schools, she wa an hour and a half drive away, and matthew was 20, and he started having a relationship with a girl in my year, and we faded apart. i tried again to end my life, and failed. then i was determined i would not fail again! i got my hands on a large dose of morphine and injected it into my leg, i didn't know where to inject it, but figured it would do the job anyways. i woke up in hospital a few days later, extremely pissed off that i was a failure AGAIN! the doctors said i was very lucky to have survived, but i didnt feel lucky at all! they said that the amount of morphine i took was enough to knock out four horses! and that if id injected it in2 a vein, i would have been dead before id finished injecting! merryn heard about this and came to help me, she said i needed to meet some people who could show me that this life is worth living! and it was true i met loads of people who i love! they are amazing! and i was actually starting to feel a lot better! then just recently my dad banned me from all contact with them! because they are a lot older than me! and he doesn't want me "gettin myself into trouble!" im slipping back into my old ways and i don't want to! i miss my "real friends" so badly! i have no contact with them at all! i can't live without them! and i've told my dad this, but that just gets me a smack in the face! i need help, im too young to leave home, and i cant cope! just when my life was getting back on track, it's been taken away from me! i don't think he wants me to be happy, i think he actually WANTS me to die!|
|21 Aug 2007||MOB||Someone please reply. I'm 15 and I have a life. Mom and dad are seperated but that's no big deal. I got people who care for me and popular at school. A and B student and football runningback. The problem is that I suffer from mental illness. Borderline schizophrenia and minor dementia which I should be in a mental clinic for. I also believe I might be pyschopathic which troubles me. I have all the symptoms such as high I.Q., extrovertiness, persuasive and barely feel emotions. Never happiness or sadness. I hallucinate about everything just turning gray and distorted for hours. I rarely sleep and when I do I have reoccuring nightmares. My only intrests are women and seeing death(for lack of a better word.) I'm a strong agnostic so religion does nothing for me. I sometimes think about killing others and how to do it. I'd want to mutilate them just so I can be known for something. I'd rather feel sadness then nothing at all in my humble opinion. Life doesn't mean much to me. I've had close friends shot and close family members die and it doesn't affect me. I'm unsure if I should kill myself just to protect others. None of my friends or family know about my problems except my pyschiatrist(Who has not told my family for he knows if he did I might become worse.) These kids who have family issues and other petty problems; try and remember that there is no problem that lasts forever. I understand I'm being a hynocrite by saying that. I believe when you die that you just die. Nothing but black, no dreams, no heaven, no hell, reincarnation or anything like that. Be happy that you have the ability to be feel whether it's happy or sad. Because too me right now there is no difference if I live or die.If my family knew what I knew they would hopefully understand how I feel. What should I do?|
|20 Aug 2007||moll||about three years ago i started comming on this site because i hated my life, things just really sucked, and i didnt want to live anymore. I even tryed a couple times to kill myself. But 3 years later...im ok. Im not great, im not like YAY im alive..but i think im at peace with the fact that im still living. I dont want to really die anymore. Ive found things to live for, and it does get better. I want anyone who ever wants to talk about anything to email me, i will talk. No one should ever have to go through this alone like i did.|
|20 Aug 2007||Wisdom||"Happiness Is A Mental Illness"
In the June 1992 issue of the Journal of Medical Ethics, a clinical psychologist proposed that happiness be classified as a psychiatric disorder, arguing that happy people suffer from impaired judgement that prevents them from acquiring a realistic understanding of their physical and social environment.
|20 Aug 2007||briony mackenzie||jump off a bridge|
|20 Aug 2007||Amindeep||I've thought about it for a while. I just want it to stop deep inside I treat people like nothing more than a piece of cow dung. I do this because I am so miserable as human being. I was abused by mother. my job isn't worth getting up in the morning for. and what is worst is i am ugly and no women will like me ever. im going to do it in a few moments.|
|20 Aug 2007||Captain Deepress||there are 2 very effective ways that will always work and can be achieved by nearly everyone.
1: buy yourself some big kitchen knives,chainsaw or what ever you think looks most threatning now walk to your nearest police station or any other guarded place where people with guns are present. now try to kill the first man/woman in sight using said threatning tool, you will either get shot and die (persist if the first shots arent fatal) or kill the armed man/woman in wich case you now have a gun at your disposal.
2: The good'ol guillotine, building one of these puppies is quite easy the materials are all available in most hardware stores(hell you can even order one from the internet ><) if you build it yourself make sure you get hold of the sharpest surface you can find and make it as heavy as possible. quick and painless (make sure you get decapitated tho or your fucked)
|20 Aug 2007||mariah||you people are all dumb.Saying your life is hard and etc.If you think your lifes hard YOU ARE WRONG!!!!YOUR SO DUMB...i know whats a hard life is like. and ive seen it. you people are a bunch of wimps. GET A LIFE!!!!!!!|
|20 Aug 2007||Waiting||Ever since middle school I've thought of killing myself. I was always part of the picked on group. The small group to the side not many people wanted to hang out with. I think my suicide thoughts back then were more of a way to show people how much hate was built up inside. I always thought of walking out in the courtyard in front of everyone and shooting myself in the head.
But I'm a different person now. I think of suicide for different reasons now. Perhaps as equally selfish or stupid, but I can't help it.
While I used to be picked on a part of the nerdy type group, I've always been the guy who everyone likes. I've had friends from all different groups of people, though I have still felt pressure. In my second year of high school, all my friends had left for other schools and the only friend left was a loner just like me who ended up leaving the school because he punched a bastard who probably deserved it anyways. It seemed his goal in school was to torment those as much as they tormented him. Unfortunately it left me in the dust.
Even though I've had friends, I've been a loner every since 7th grade. I hated going over to friend's houses. I don't know what in me changed because I use to be a normal kid, despite being picked on.
I was also raised in a middle class home, despite going to a fairly upper class private school paid for in part by my grandparents and a grant. I always felt slight pressure from that. But even moreso are the dreams my parents have for me. My dad doesn't want me to have his life. He didn't go to college because his father didn't want him to. My grandfather owns a bowling alley and my dad has been working in the back of the bowling alley in a screenprinting shop his whole life. He figured he was working his way to eventually own the bowling alley. My grandfather recently passed away and left the bowling alley to his wife.
I've lived primarily with my mom for my whole life. She's been overprotective, to the point where I never had much contact with girls even though I had the chance. I've had chances with girls but never took them or was held back. I'm 20 and I've never touched a girl in any way.
I've always quit before I ever excelled in anything. Piano lessons...quit, even though I play the keyboard to let my emotions out quite frequently. I can't dedicate myself to anything. I've always considered myself fairly well balanced. I'm good at many things. I've never had to strive for good grades. I'm always complimented on my artistic abilities, even though I know I could be ten times better if I devoted myself.
But I can't. And there I was in college trying to figure out what I want to do. Computer science...I quit. Graphic design...I quit college altogether. I took a break from school over the summer. Figured I'd get a job. Took a job from my step-dad but ended up doing a screen printing job because the other job was too hard and I was interested in screen printing. I disliked the people. I hated feeling like, even after months, like I'm this new guy and every thing I do is wrong or they have to make some comment on it.
So I quit because I have anger management issues and I shoved my mom and yelled in her face and had the cops called on me. Betrayed because she was scared. As if I'd do something to harm her. I spend my time harming myself. When I fuck up, I hurt myself. I bash my hand. I bash my chest. I don't cut. I don't take too many pills. I just like the feeling of blunt pain.
So now I'm stuck. Should I go back to college? If I don't, I have loans and other issues to pay for. Should I work? For what? My own survival? I don't even want to live, so how can I be motivated to do anything.
I've never felt apart of this world. I have no desire to grow up and make money and live, no matter how successful I may be. I have great potential, it's not like I'm some waste of blood. Perhaps my ego is too big. I consider myself greater than many people. I have a hard time creating bonds with people because I see through bullshit. I see through stupidity. I see too many carbon copies of people walking around.
So here I am. I think to myself, if I had a gun right now, I would most likely try. I don't know why a gun. It just seems right. I can't stand the though of self strangulation. Poisoning myself. Bleeding myself. Something about a loud noise and and explosion of blood just seems right.
But now you see the other side of me. I quit because I'm lazy. I quit because I have no motivation. Where am I going to get a gun? Even if I knew where, I'd have to go out and get it. A young looking guy who's never used a gun and would look green in some gunshop buying a gun. Too much pressure just to get the thing I need. So maybe I'm not ready. I'm not ready for life and I'm not ready to die. What am I supposed to do. Sooner or later my parents will kick me out. I will feel constant pressure from them to get a job before that. I can't just be lazy. But if I go to college it would be for them, not me.
I left college to figure out who I was. But I haven't. I haven't even tried. I can't. How am I supposed to tell my family that I just want to go away where no one knows me. I don't want to be in contact with you. How do I tell them that? I'm too strapped in here where I am. I need to start anew.
But life is all about pressure. All about what people will think. All about obligation.
I've always had this weird notion that I'm supposed to die in some heroic way. I've thought of joining the military. Throwing my life on the line. Fearless. Forcing myself in bad situations so that I don't have to do the honors of killing myself.
But I'm waiting for something to happen. Something to bring me back. But I doubt it will happen. You have to go out and actively seek things in life but I just have no motivation to do so and I don't know how to change my motivation.
So maybe one day. Maybe one day I'll be gone. Maybe one day I'll build up enough willpower to kill myself. Until then, I'm stuck here feeling pressures that I don't wish to feel because I'm to cowardly and unmotivated to make myself a better person.
|19 Aug 2007||mel||I don't want to talk you out of your feelings because your feelings are real. Suicide happens when you can't cope with your problems or to better explain, when your problems or pain exceed your ability to cope with them. (I hope I'm not being confusing.)
There are many instances when a persons threshold of coping is reached. It varies from person to person. What can be devastating to one person can be not quite as devastating to the next.
It doesn't mean that you are weak or stupid for feeling this way.
For 13 years old it's an incredible burden to have these feelings and I want to tell you that you are not alone and that there are people who care enough to want to help. Open your phone book and find the sucide phone number in your area or better yet search for the number on the internet. Then call and talk.
Don't call or seak help for anyone other than yourself. This is about YOU and nobody else.
|18 Aug 2007||C Raven||Why create a Permanent solution to a temporary problem. Really Go read the Book "the prayer of jabez"|
|18 Aug 2007||Ellie||Ok first of all Jr the reason the survivors go to this site is because we know what it's like to feel like shit, and we know how hard it is to get better, and once you've been through something like that you don't want anybody else to feel like you did. You know maybe coming here is my way of making up for everything I did when I was depressed, it's taken me a long time to accept what I tried to do when I attempted suicide and the grief I caused everybody who knew about it. I don't want anybody to go threw what I did. I am fourteen and it feels like I've been through a lifetime of tears and pain, just because one night I decided to play with fire... and you know what sometimes when you play with fire you get burned. At least that's what happened to me. Anyway if theres anybody out there who wants to talk my email address is email@example.com, I promise I won't judge you.|
|18 Aug 2007||Oh sweet heart I know you hate people like me and this is not the type of reply you wanted, I recognise your pain and total feeling of desolation, but please hang on, I know its hard but I swear it will get better, and if u feel no one else cares I swear I do. please please xx your so special you just dont know it yet|
|18 Aug 2007||I am deeply hurt whenever Mouchette doesn't post my answer. Why am I judged even in here?|
|17 Aug 2007||mandy||im so depressed i cant help but think what a failure i am at everything my family call me names like whore brat my dad treats me like shit cause i was "the accidental" child my dad and mom bash me i even got bruses on my arms and legs to prove it i just wanna see her face after i die i got the best suicide plan laid out im gonna cut my throte in front of them and when i drop dead theyll see what i am they probebley wont even do a funeral theyll put me in a cardboard box and throw me away i cant wait to see there faces :( you know what stuff the world no one knows i exsist.|