Reading these suicide pages you will find people seeking help and people offering their help. Some witness about suicide from real life experience, others who play along with me would pretend it's a children's game. Some make sick and cruel jokes about it, and angry people blame me for even mentioning the subject. You might also want to read my favourite answers. If you want your answer to be included here, fill in the form.

Date Name/email

What is the best way to kill yourself when you're under 13?

Quelle est la meilleure forme de suicide pour les moins de 13 ans?
11 Nov 2008 Liz Monroe This is no suicide rave. i'm not suicidal, REALLY. it's just a pointless vent by an angsty philosophical 17 year old in an odd situation...

Well, my baby's gone. It's been a year since our first kiss- our first "more than friends" moment. it's been 6 moths since i first realised how much i loved him. 4 months since I first fucked him. and 2 months since we made it official. slow paced, huh?
And now my babys gone to the far ends of asia with his best friend and lead guitarist. "see you in a month" he told me halloween (night of his departure). I didn't believe him. I have 2 & half weeks till his supposed arrival back to melbourne. Time coulnd't be going slower, and yet i feel as though i'll never speak to him again, unless it's to say goodbye. Strange world we live in. I've always said: if there is a god, he really has a fucked up sense of humour. I should have been born earlier. 1941, preferably. anytime then on in. I should have been a baby boomer: teenager of the 50's, 60's, 70's, 80's, or 90's. Life would have been a hell of alot easier then. I can't describe it, and you can't understand it unless you've met me. SO take my word on it. And i missed generation X by a butt hair! thanks, man. timming's never been my best point, always too late. I can hear god laughing at me when he pulls something like that. Crazy kidder.
And, y'know, I remember my #1 fella tellin' me (or attempting to tell me) his feelings. How he thought i was perfect, how he thought we could never be. He was right. I love him, and i've waited my whole life to say those words to someone. And i'm not saying it's something it's not. I don't expect to marry the guy, or to have his kids and live together forever. I'm not asking him to pull some big 'sleepless in seattle' gesture- scream my name from the top of a building, send me 100 roses for valentines. Hell, I didn't even believe in teenage love before him. The truth is: he has an entire life of his own, with a whole bunch of people that just arn't me. His got his quirky fashion and bizzar industrial metal and his ultra-futuristic ways. I have me rockabilly, my creepers, my nostalgia and my smoking, drinking, riot grrl existance. I just don't fit into his life. He has no room for me, and truth be told I doubt it's effect him if i were to dissapear. It'd bug him to see me with another guy, but for me to just go? nah.
And it hurts, and i'm lonely. Dude, you've gotta listen to the lyrics of Gary Numan's "are friends electric?" to get it. hehe, he kinda looks like Gary Numan.
I try to distance myself. When we're together it's a rule never to show any true emotions. We're both too cool for that, or atleast we act it. He can be so warm, and then so cold. And me, i'd just rather turn him on and not get my hopes up for anything. He'll break my heart, men always do. I'm no fool, i've seen it happen. I wish I could say he's different, but i'm not sure of that yet. When he's there and i'm here, and I expect him to cheat on me and he probably thinks the same. We can't go on together with suspicious minds, hehe. The truth: sometimes i think his too good for me. All the girls want him, to be honest i'm not sure what they see in him. I'm not sure what i see in him. But whatever it is it's something they can't see. And all the boys want me. I think it upsets him, he doesn't know how repulsed those other men make me. But like I said, I just don't fit into his life. I don't match his outfit. And it hurts, because I want him so bad. I want him to come back from hong kong. I want to be waiting at the airport for him. And i secretly want him to marry me and give me the happy ever after ending i never really thought i'd get. I wish we could drop the act just for a few minutes, and I wish he would tell me what he really thoght of me. And i wish i could drop my guard and tell him. We havn't even sad we loved eachother. It's just how we are.
But i see his pictures of his adventures throughout chine: hair dyed green, smiling that smile, being that quirky self that only he can pull off. He looks so happy, i don't think i've ever seen him that happy, not even with me. I'm not sure if i make him truly happy. he makes me happy. I've never told him. But he looks like he fits over there. I'm envious, i've wanted all my life to get out of australia and 'fit'. I've wanted out of here, over to california, over to real people who get me. And his there in hong kong, looking the happiest and most content i've ever seen him. His just so happy there... without me. It hurts. I'm scared, and yet i'm smiling and god and his odd sense of humour. Fucker.
13 Oct 2008 crystal The Quest - by Wystan Hugh Auden

I. The Door

Out of it steps our future, through this door
Enigmas, executioners and rules,
Her Majesty in a bad temper or
A red-nosed Fool who makes a fool of fools.

Great persons eye it in the twilight for
A past it might so carelessly let in,
A widow with a missionary grin,
The foaming inundation at a roar.

We pile our all against it when afraid,
And beat upon its panels when we die:
By happening to be open once, it made

Enormous Alice see a wonderland
That waited for her in the sunshine and,
Simply by being tiny, made her cry.

II. The Preparations

All had been ordered weeks before the start
From the best firms at such work: instruments
To take the measure of all queer events,
And drugs to move the bowels or the heart.

A watch, of course, to watch impatience fly,
Lamps for the dark and shades against the sun;
Foreboding, too, insisted on a gun,
And coloured beads to soothe a savage eye.

In theory they were sound on Expectation,
Had there been situations to be in;
Unluckily they were their situation:

One should not give a poisoner medicine,
A conjurer fine apparatus, nor
A rifle to a melancholic bore.

III. The Crossroads

Two friends who met here and embraced are gone,
Each to his own mistake; one flashes on
To fame and ruin in a rowdy lie,
A village torpor holds the other one,
Some local wrong where it takes time to die:
This empty junction glitters in the sun.

So at all quays and crossroads: who can tell
These places of decision and farewell
To what dishonour all adventure leads,
What parting gift could give that friend protection,
So orientated his vocation needs
The Bad Lands and the sinister direction?

All landscapes and all weathers freeze with fear,
But none have ever thought, the legends say,
The time allowed made it impossible;
For even the most pessimistic set
The limit of their errors at a year.
What friends could there be left then to betray,
What joy take longer to atone for; yet
Who could complete without the extra day
The journey that should take no time at all?

IV. The Traveler

No window in his suburb lights that bedroom where
A little fever heard large afternoons at play:
His meadows multiply; that mill, though, is not there
Which went on grinding at the back of love all day.

Nor all his weeping ways through weary wastes have found
The castle where his Greater Hallows are interned;
For broken bridges halt him, and dark thickets round
Some ruin where an evil heritage was burned.

Could he forget a child's ambition to be old
And institutions where it learned to wash and lie,
He'd tell the truth for which he thinks himself too young,

That everywhere on his horizon, all the sky,
Is now, as always, only waiting to be told
To be his father's house and speak his mother tongue.

V. The City

In villages from which their childhoods came
Seeking Necessity, they had been taught
Necessity by nature is the same
No matter how or by whom it be sought.

The city, though, assumed no such belief,
But welcomed each as if he came alone,
The nature of Necessity like grief
Exactly corresponding to his own.

And offered them so many, every one
Found some temptation fit to govern him,
And settled down to master the whole craft

Of being nobody; sat in the sun
During the lunch-hour round the fountain rim,
And watched the country kids arrive, and laughed.

VI. The First Temptation

Ashamed to be the darling of his grief,
He joined a gang of rowdy stories where
His gift for magic quickly made him chief
Of all these boyish powers of the air;

Who turned his hungers into Roman food,
The town's asymmetry into a park;
All hours took taxis; any solitude
Became his flattered duchess in the dark.

But, if he wished for anything less grand,
The nights came padding after him like wild
Beasts that meant harm, and all the doors cried Thief;

And when Truth had met him and put out her hand,
He clung in panic to his tall belief
And shrank away like an ill-treated child.

VII. The Second Temptation

His library annoyed him with its look
Of calm belief in being really there;
He threw away a rival's boring book,
And clattered panting up the spiral stair.

Swaying upon the parapet he cried:
"O Uncreated Nothing, set me free,
Now let Thy perfect be identified,
Unending passion of the Night, with Thee."

And his long-suffering flesh, that all the time
Had felt the simple cravings of the stone
And hoped to be rewarded for her climb,

Took it to be a promise when he spoke
That now at last she would be left alone,
And plunged into the college quad, and broke.

VIII. The Third Temptation

He watched with all his organs of concern
How princes walk, what wives and children say,
Re-opened old graves in his heart to learn
What laws the dead had died to disobey,

And came reluctantly to his conclusion:
"All the arm-chair philosophies are false;
To love another adds to the confusion;
The song of mercy is the Devil's Waltz."

All that he put his hand to prospered so
That soon he was the very King of creatures,
Yet, in an autumn nightmare trembled, for,

Approaching down a ruined corridor,
Strode someone with his own distorted features
Who wept, and grew enormous, and cried Woe.

IX. The Tower

This is an architecture for the old;
Thus heaven was attacked by the afraid,
So once, unconsciously, a virgin made
Her maidenhead conspicuous to a god.

Here on dark nights while worlds of triumph sleep
Lost Love in abstract speculation burns,
And exiled Will to politics returns
In epic verse that makes its traitors weep.

Yet many come to wish their tower a well;
For those who dread to drown, of thirst may die,
Those who see all become invisible:

Here great magicians, caught in their own spell,
Long for a natural climate as they sigh
"Beware of Magic" to the passer-by.

X. The Presumptuous

They noticed that virginity was needed
To trap the unicorn in every case,
But not that, of those virgins who succeeded,
A high percentage had an ugly face.

The hero was as daring as they thought him,
But his peculiar boyhood missed them all;
The angel of a broken leg had taught him
The right precautions to avoid a fall.

So in presumption they set forth alone
On what, for them, was not compulsory,
And stuck half-way to settle in some cave
With desert lions to domesticity,

Or turned aside to be absurdly brave,
And met the ogre and were turned to stone.

XI. The Average

His peasant parents killed themselves with toil
To let their darling leave a stingy soil
For any of those fine professions which
Encourage shallow breathing, and grow rich.

The pressure of their fond ambition made
Their shy and country-loving child afraid
No sensible career was good enough,
Only a hero could deserve such love.

So here he was without maps or supplies,
A hundred miles from any decent town;
The desert glared into his blood-shot eyes,
The silence roared displeasure:
looking down,
He saw the shadow of an Average Man
Attempting the exceptional, and ran.

XII. Vocation

Incredulous, he stared at the amused
Official writing down his name among
Those whose request to suffer was refused.

The pen ceased scratching: though he came too late
To join the martyrs, there was still a place
Among the tempters for a caustic tongue

To test the resolution of the young
With tales of the small failings of the great,
And shame the eager with ironic praise.

Though mirrors might be hateful for a while,
Women and books would teach his middle age
The fencing wit of an informal style,
To keep the silences at bay and cage
His pacing manias in a worldly smile.

XIII. The Useful

The over-logical fell for the witch
Whose argument converted him to stone,
Thieves rapidly absorbed the over-rich,
The over-popular went mad alone,
And kisses brutalised the over-male.

As agents their importance quickly ceased;
Yet, in proportion as they seemed to fail,
Their instrumental value was increased
For one predestined to attain their wish.

By standing stones the blind can feel their way,
Wild dogs compel the cowardly to fight,
Beggars assist the slow to travel light,
And even madmen manage to convey
Unwelcome truths in lonely gibberish.

XIV. The Way

Fresh addenda are published every day
To the encyclopedia of the Way,

Linguistic notes and scientific explanations,
And texts for schools with modernised spelling and illustrations.

Now everyone knows the hero must choose the old horse,
Abstain from liquor and sexual intercourse,

And look out for a stranded fish to be kind to:
Now everyone thinks he could find, had he a mind to,

The way through the waste to the chapel in the rock
For a vision of the Triple Rainbow or the Astral Clock,

Forgetting his information comes mostly from married men
Who liked fishing and a flutter on the horses now and then.

And how reliable can any truth be that is got
By observing oneself and then just inserting a Not?

XV. The Lucky

Suppose he'd listened to the erudite committee,
He would have only found where not to look;
Suppose his terrier when he whistled had obeyed,
It would not have unearthed the buried city;
Suppose he had dismissed the careless maid,
The cryptogram would not have fluttered from the book.

"It was not I," he cried as, healthy and astounded,
He stepped across a predecessor's skull;
"A nonsense jingle simply came into my head
And left the intellectual Sphinx dumbfounded;
I won the Queen because my hair was red;
The terrible adventure is a little dull."

Hence Failure's torment: "Was I doomed in any case,
Or would I not have failed had I believed in Grace?"

XVI. The Hero

He parried every question that they hurled:
"What did the Emperor tell you?" "Not to push."
"What is the greatest wonder of the world?"
"The bare man Nothing in the Beggar's Bush."

Some muttered: "He is cagey for effect.
A hero owes a duty to his fame.
He looks too like a grocer for respect."
Soon they slipped back into his Christian name.

The only difference that could be seen
From those who'd never risked their lives at all
Was his delight in details and routine:

For he was always glad to mow the grass,
Pour liquids from large bottles into small,
Or look at clouds through bits of coloured glass.

XVII. Adventure

Others had found it prudent to withdraw
Before official pressure was applied,
Embittered robbers outlawed by the Law,
Lepers in terror of the terrified.

But no one else accused these of a crime;
They did not look ill: old friends, overcome,
Stared as they rolled away from talk and time
Like marbles out into the blank and dumb.

The crowd clung all the closer to convention,
Sunshine and horses, for the sane know why
The even numbers should ignore the odd:

The Nameless is what no free people mention;
Successful men know better than to try
To see the face of their Absconded God.

XVIII. The Adventurers

Spinning upon their central thirst like tops,
They went the Negative Way towards the Dry;
By empty caves beneath an empty sky
They emptied out their memories like slops,

Which made a foul marsh as they dried to death,
Where monsters bred who forced them to forget
The lovelies their consent avoided; yet,
Still praising the Absurd with their last breath,

They seeded out into their miracles:
The images of each grotesque temptation
Became some painter's happiest inspiration,

And barren wives and burning virgins came
To drink the pure cold water of their wells,
And wish for beaux and children in their name.

XIX. The Waters

Poet, oracle, and wit
Like unsuccessful anglers by
The ponds of apperception sit,
Baiting with the wrong request
The vectors of their interest,
At nightfall tell the angler's lie.

With time in tempest everywhere,
To rafts of frail assumption cling
The saintly and the insincere;
Enraged phenomena bear down
In overwhelming waves to drown
Both sufferer and suffering.

The waters long to hear our question put
Which would release their longed-for answer, but.

XX. The Garden

Within these gates all opening begins:
White shouts and flickers through its green and red,
Where children play at seven earnest sins
And dogs believe their tall conditions dead.

Here adolescence into number breaks
The perfect circle time can draw on stone,
And flesh forgives division as it makes
Another's moment of consent its own.

All journeys die here: wish and weight are lifted:
Where often round some old maid's desolation
Roses have flung their glory like a cloak,

The gaunt and great, the famed for conversation
Blushed in the stare of evening as they spoke
And felt their centre of volition shifted.
01 Sep 2008 Troy Troy says

ok so u didn't like my last suggestion

i was on the wiki eariler today,and it says it
takes 1 and half weeks to strave to death,also
i believe it would be the most painfull way to
die,but the hardest to detect.

ok now for your information

i don't have problem getting poontang.

jeanine says:
im not wearing panties

so stfu u Pathetic single male,with no repertoire
whos ring hole looks like a crispy creme dount,i bet you own
a extra large pink didlo that says JOIN YMCA.

and u are not an artist,i think a elton john and a wiggles remix
would have more no cave art is.

stop licking toads and selling rocks ffs.(ffs=for fucks sake)

and if this a female im talking too,Presumably Mouchette,from
Amsterdam,nearly 13 years old,TAKE YOUR FUCKING PROZAC ON TOAST

pull a stunt like that again and i will have you shut down,i'll get your
ISP provider banned and i will give all your domains ips to the
church of scientology,and don't pretend u didn't know what u did ,u know what
u did,in 3 seconds i can send a virus that is 7kb and it can flood
u off the network.

and omg all you Fascist psychologists they don't need a reason its
there choice,so fuck off the answer page and stop trying to sound
like docter phil and go play with your Robix cube.


late imbeciles

have a nice day...
09 Aug 2008 morula hi there, i can t really remember where i stoped in my story, i meant to write how i jumped off a balcony from the 3rd floor, i wouldn t know the exact reasons why i did that this is why I told you about the lesbian, so many things pissed me off that night, I was growing more and more nasty you know, the priest later told me I had this great plant that had grown in my chest, he said I lacked oxygene because the plant was taking all the space in my lungs, like it had become more and more difficult for me to breathe, he gave me this book to read too I remember the end, three little mice that march into a cat's mouth, holly fun that book i wonder if you d help me tell me what s the title, and who wrote it, I read 100 times the suicide of the little mouse, but i skipped most passages, I hate romances on TV anyway, i m a natural born hater, my aunt called me evil many times, only the priest made it sound all different telling me of the plant, the girl in the book had a waterlily inside her, I m not sure why hers had started growing, from all I know she committed no sin, the alien in my body was definitely put there for purposes of equity, I thought about the plant, my friend agreed I deserved it, now i m drifting away I meant to write how i jumped from that building, later I drove against a tree and cut open my veins but I m not so proud about those suicides, they suck, I never reached the state of bliss and happiness of flying down that building, the moment before I was choking with disgust, hate was like a poison in my body, I talked to a philosopher that night he was drunk and babbling in ancient greek, I heard him describe exactly how it felt inside me, I was gutted he knew about it, he called that a slave s moral, because it rises from resent, that guy was a professor of philosophy but he was drunk all over, and telling things he d never say normally, how humans are not equal, how they will be rewarded according to the inside of their brains, and some of them were slaves and others were masters, and the homicidal bitch I said, who comes down in every kitchen to determine who will serve and who will eat, I said that like I d been thinking about it, but i was quoting a poet i d heard before, I was only firing some guns at his face for the fun, but i knew he was right in was he said, it all depends on the quantity of resent, how much you ve born with, how much you grow over the years, how much circulates in your fluids, resent makes you despicable, i agreed as a matter of fact I could not contradict him, resent is the lowest emotion, and ugly too and despicable I know, they later called it a "plant", the priest told my mother, like I was human after all

now i d listened to all that crap in silence and i d become rather angry in effect, a doctor i met at the hospital diagnosed me paranoid, i had not told him all the details though, and how and why i felt like flying, I swear I felt genuine happiness, that s why i never talk about it, noone would understand it was more than relief I swear the pain had no more importance I was cured and purified, all the hate and anger and resent inside me, and most of all DISGUST no longer ached, the fall lasted no more than 10 seconds, SUICIDE HURTS PEOPLE, SEE THAT BRUISE ON MY WRIST IT HURTS AS MUCH AS MOSQUITO BITES AT LEAST

my email is not the one i entered in the previous message
20 Jun 2008 shirley i have sat here in bed and read these letters of how people feel .i fully understand , but to kill one self is deff not the best answer remember that song , i get knocked down but i get up again well that is how tru life is for everyone.or chers song words go , you have to search in side yourself .that is tue as all answer will come to us.
some times in life i can cope and feel i dont want to be here , i am still here why becasue there is a reason for of us to be here but we have to find that reason deep down within.
when i was born all was fine , then when i was 7 yrs old my life changed from that day for ward i went through hell , from being beaten for no reason by my father, had to go without food, had to take the other familys punishment standing out side in just my knickers in the winter freezing cold, fag burn on my chest, my father bring home peadophiles to see if i was having sex when i was a teenager , i wasnt allowed to speak never allowed to laugh, never allowed to cry with all what was going on had a knife thrown at me and went deep into my arm. being raped , picked on by your owm family having no one to turn to was awfull but what kept me going was all i wanted was to have my own family and i would never treat them like this what i was going through , as i got older even more things happened my sister husband tried to rape me could i say anything no as he watched my every move. then i got forced into a marriage he raped me i had a i child he did the same as my family it i was blamed for things i didnt do he had affair with my sister they had a kid i eventually divorced him but but i had to gegt my kids back from what he had done he told lies to my family the took my kids away from the abducted them yes i was ill for months but i still suvived , and but hey i did take lots of pills and was moments from death i was in hospital andthey pmped my stomache out all i wanted to do was die i could nt go on but yes i saw that light my body was going and all off a sudden i heard a shout mummy and hey body came back from going towards the light.
even now with the yrs that has passed i had met other fellas got married and yes they beat me and tried to kill me threaten me with a gun , try and kill me in a car beat teh crap out of me but hey some how another i am still here .
i am now re married yes he is nice but i still get very low and feel depressed but i cope i dont know how but i do i have 3 children 2 lads and a girl my daughter is getting married next yr and some times i feel how will i suvive another yr so if i can do it you can i have had so much that sometimes i feel is life worth living and some times i feel no it is nt but then i feel you have come this way this far i am now 44 so please do not commit your self to death as you can not re live your live take a deep look at what is making you sad .and then try and think of a way to improve it or think of way that person you loved so much would want you to be .life is for living and love is for giving anyone who is thinking of death your welcome to e mail me at
29 May 2008 Karenina The best way is to sell yourself to a psicotic pedophile with AIDS.

Just my guess.
I tried pills and it didn't work, so it can't be worse if you really don't mind dying :D
18 May 2008 Al Dear "tired of diapers,"

Your life is about so much more than a boyfriend or getting married. Those are things you'll probably do, but they're not your purpose.

Everything I said about a guy toward a girl in my last post also goes for a girl seeking a guy. What makes someone beautiful is what's inside, not outside. Our world brainwashes us into thinking the wrapper is what matters, but they're so wrong. It's no accident that 50% of marriages end in divorce. If you work on making yourself a 10 you'll attract a 10. And a 10 won't care whether you're covered in scars or blind or badly burned or wear adult diapers. He will love you for you. That's not some Dr. Phil psychology, it's a fact. This is coming from a real guy, who knows what he's talking about.

But putting that truth aside, a man is not your purpose for living. Your have your own purpose, a reason why you were created, and it has nothing to do with a man. Don't let anything distract you from living an awesome life and making the most out of the opportunities you have. You have breath in your lungs, you have the chance for an amazing life. Please, make the most of it.

01 Mar 2008 philimeneski God I'm such a waste. My whole life is nothing. I dont thin I'll ever be able to sort out the screwed up mess that I ma, I just get worse and worse. Getting drunk in my room on vodka, like that's going to help me. I feel like nothing, less than that. Since I can remember I've prayed to god, asking him to kill me but my prayers are never answered.
19 Jan 2008 Phillip Well from what experience ive had its unclear whats the best way. When I was 13 I went through alot of shit with a girl who I loved (foolishly of course) and she lay ruin to my life, when I brought myself to it I tried slashing my wrists but stopped before I even bled. When I think about it I wish that maybe I had killed myself then, although I know now that wrists slashing has a 5% success rate... -_-
Ever since then I went very dark, everything was depressing, I did things intentialy which brought pain and suffering to myself. I became very paranoid where small things were suddenly attempts at making me sad and the thing is when your paranoid these things seem so realistic.
I become much more emo/goth but it was all because of my emotions. After an incident at my school where I was bullied very badly alongside a friend I hated myself and had to get rid of the emotional pain, and the best way I found was through inflicting physical pain. Many people including my parents have asked me since I first started self-inflicting (after my suicide attempt, im 15 now) where I get some of my poorly covered injuries from and I manage to hide the truth although I suspect people back-chat me and reckon I do.
I thought I was alone for a long time and life seemed very down, as I didnt know what to do or what I was going to do or could do. Things seemed to brighten after I met a girl a few weeks back, who was my first girlfriend for 2 years, she was sado-masochistic and I found that I was too, although she dumped me 2 weeks in.
Since then I find even the most un-sexual pain stimulating, its gotten to the point where I dont know if im burning myself through depression or sexual release. I thought for sure that I was mentaly unstable and that I was so different from everyone. Then I met another girl, whom due to my "raging" hormones I become very strongley attracted to her.
When I told her she was very sorry because she didnt like me but she talked to me about stuff, and I found out that she too had tried commiting suiced on many occasions, and self-inflicted. Were friends now (not good friends because she avoids me so im not hurt so much cause I still like her) and I feel like there is some hope. Her life was pretty fucked up so she tried overdosing. It feels good to be able to tell someone how you feel and they've been through it all aswell. I realy love her and im so worried that she will kill herself.
So realy, if your going to kill yourself, make sure you succeed because if you dont, its hard to hide the scars, both physical and emotional.
22 Nov 2007 all of u suck go to america and eat the food. your heart will clog on fat and you will die happy and jolly just like that pedophile named santa clause.
13 Oct 2007 Carly I don't know whether I suffer from depression, or whetheer I just get very sad.
I'm 30 now and it has happened for as long as I can remember. From nowhere, the darkest cloud imaginable decends over the valley inside my mind. Positive thoughts cease to exist. I can almost see myself from the outside in, and I will know that I am only entering a "down" time. But I can't help but ignore any sense that I have left and I just sink lowere and lower into a depression.
I can't function. I'm usless at work and dread interaction with people. I question my ability. I convince myself over and over again that I have no friends, no future and no point.
The first time I tried to kill myself I was around 9 or 10. I can't remember why, but I remember isolating myself and feeling very lonely. Luckily, at that age I didn't understand how to kill myself and nothing came of it. I have entertained the thought ever since, but with age I also gained a conscience and now matter how low I have gotten since, the thought of putting my family through a never ending nightmare will always stop me from commiting suicide. I feel like that will always leave me in sort of perpetual hell, but there just isn't anything else I can do.
While my adult years have seen more depression than my teens, some days I feel like I am on top of the world. Perhaps if one day my entire family all die in the same plane crash, maybe I will finally kill myself. Or maybe I won't. Things I see or things I feel keep me going and you never know what is going to happen next. When I was 15 I thought I had seen everything. I thought life would only get worse from then on. But it isn't like that, it becomes immense and infinitely opportunistic.
Try to be a little stronger. See if it helps. See if it gets you to the next day and then see where that takes you....
13 Sep 2007 spookyqoutemachine just read this:

1.At least 2 people in this world love you so much they would die for you.
Why don't they kill themselves?
2. At least 15 people in this world love you in some way.
There are probably more than 15 peadophiles in the world, maybe in the street?
3. The only reason anyone would ever hate you is because they want to be just like you.
Thats not true, i hate everyone cos i DONT wanna be like them
4. A smile from you can bring happiness to anyone, even if they don't like you.
I hate happy people, my life is horrible, why should they smile?
5. Every night, SOMEONE thinks about you before they go to sleep.
See Question 2
6. You mean the world to someone.
See Question 2...
7. If not for you, someone may not be living.
If you kill yourself, you can donate your organs to people who don't hate themselves
8. You are special and unique.
You are the all singing, all dancing crap of the world!
9. Someone that you don't even know exists loves you.
10. When you make the biggest mistake ever, something good comes from it.
Unless you totally fuck up and end up on the streets or death row.
11. When you think the world has turned its back on you, take a look: you most likely turned your back on the world.
Blame society
12. When you think you have no chance of getting what you want, you probably won't get it, but if you believe in yourself, probably, sooner or later, you will get it.
MM good old parent theories again. Someone is always going to be better than you. I REALLY want to win 30 mil, but someone else did.
13. Always remember the compliments you received. Forget about the rude remarks.
Remember where the people who are rude to you live, and burn and sodomise their pets
14. Always tell someone how you feel about them; you will feel much better when they know.
I agree, telling people I hate them makes me feel just ace!
15. If you have a great friend, take the time to let them know that they are great.
If you dont, see how long you can hide in the freezer at the supermarket for.

Peace out you sons and daughters of hairy arm-pitted prostitute !

-best post ever.
01 Sep 2007 brittney....potion girl hi again. its me the one with the good life. im not like the god girl maggie. im real. but also my storys. i had a vision that she...thou princess of stories shal reserect to the knolege...times are diffrent today. a new caracter will rise. and step in. i shal be the junior to help my mother/father from the cast away. wat im sayin is help phil get his mojo back!
01 Sep 2007 brittney....potion girl hi everyone. im brittney. 8th grader. 13 and here. im latin. duh. i dont plan to do suicide cuz my life is so cool but if anyone cares i gotta myspace. so add me. how i found this? i googled suicide when 13. cool i guess. im real. hay phil are you arond. i know ur like gay but u sound hot. so yeah. i can bring lucy c. back. i got a magic potion. PHOOF! reserect and tell storys! in words of the outsiders...lets do it for johnny!-tom cruise
24 Aug 2007 El Cid If you are under 13, and wish to kill yourself, it can be done. But understand that one experiences the most emotional and philosophic time of their life at this age. It is traumatic, but as fire to the phoenix you emerge brilliant and worthy of awe.

If you are young and wish to die, I humbly submit these alternatives: angst. contempt. honor. defiance. courage. grace. duty. indifference. respect. allegiance. spite. bravado.

There is no better way to tell the world to fuck off than to spit in the face of adversity. Suicide is an admission of defeat. Why fall on the knife when you can twist it in another's ribs? Figuratively speaking, of course...
23 Jul 2007 Carmen Im 13 and I have tried to kill myself many,many times. Without my parents knowledge.No one knows the pain, horror and depression, so dont say how you feel about it if you have never tried it and dont know what its like to hate yourself so much that you would want to end it. So dont say its selfish, because honestly you dont know what suicidal kids are going through. But I do, I hate myself and i have been beatin up, bullied, cyber-bullied etc. I have no friends, no one talks to me, people start ridiculous rumors about me. My teachers hate me, i get mostly C's, my father is a Pediphile and rapes and beats me and my sister everyday. Yes, I lost my virginity to my father. My mother took her life away(in front of me)! Some life!! Is it worth living? NO!! So dont tell me it is, I am going to kill myself and no one will care, and i wont be missed. What im trying to tell you, if you have a good life, with decent parents, get good grades, popular you have no reason to do what i am going to do. If you've only been bullied tell someone who cares about you! Your parents who love you.
These are my final words to the public I am about to go in the bathroom and hang myself on the shower thingy i just got instructions on howe to properly tie that knot! Well bye
08 May 2007 philimeneski So I've recently read a few articles about the surge of suicide clubs in Japan. It seems kinda reasonable to me. How much easier would suicide be if you had someone to die with? If you didn't have to die alone.
27 Apr 2007 alex N dear god

please help me
im begging you
ive fallen down
can you help me up?

i just feel like i cant go on living this life anymore
everyday just seems like an uphill struggle
im so worthless
im nothing

lord, i feel so alone, i feel like i have nobody.
i am crying out to you to pick me up out of this hole i have fallen down
at the moment, i dont even have a reason to get out of bed in the morning
i just lie there and think, wots the point
im such a looser
im such a big dissapointment

lord, please help heal this heart of mine,
it feels like its being pulled down by the most heavy weight
and i dont know how much more i can take
im holding on, by a thread
i just wanna go, take all this pain away
i just wanna leave this place
i feel so worthless
i feel so down

lord, please help me, please! help me stop feeling this pain
i just cant take it
i want to die
so y shoudnt i
i mean, people say they will miss me, but they will get over it
it may take time but they will.

lord, i never cry, but i just did, for the first time this year.
so why when i need to cry i cant?
i feel like all the happiness in my life has gone
i force a smile, but deep down, im bleeding
and hurting, my heart id really hurting
and for the best part, i dont even know why?

i hate myself, lord, why cant you just kill me
just make me die in my sleep, go on, 2night, just do it
i cant take living anymore
i cant take this pain
i cant take the way im feeling
i know you are there lord
i know that you can hear me
i know you havent abandoned me
although sometimes it feels like you have

lord, i get this lump in my throught for the first time this year
and i have to hold it in, untill my mum goes upstairs
but then i just let it all out, it feels good to cry, so y dont i?

everything is lost, my whole life feels like it is crashing down all around me
i mean, lets face it, im not gonna b ok,
things are only gonna get worse

i feel so alone
so fragile, like i am just gonna break at any second
people, my friends, think im happy, im not! i have never been so low
i am hitting new lows every day!!
and no, its not getting better, its getting worse and worse
why am i feeling this way?
oh, here comes that feeling again
hopelessness, worthlessness, DEPRESSION!!

Stuck on the end of this ball and chain
And I’m on my way back down,
Stood on a bridge, tied to the noose
Sick to the stomach

i loose my hunger for food
as my heart sinks lower and lower into the ground
why dont i just collapse here on the floor and die
will anyone notice when im gone?
will i go to a better place?
love, i so desperatly need, sometimes, just a long hug
but it never happens
i just go home and i have my mum shouting at me, oh yes, thats very comforting
thankyou lord, for giving me a mum, who hates depressed people, she doesnt know the first thing about how im feeling
and yet i have to hide it all from her
i book an appointment to see my doctor
does she know? NO

i love you jesus
i just want someone to say that they love me
i hate having to hide the way im feeling, and pretending that everything is ok
last month i tried to top myself
i am saying to everyone that this month is much better
but, its actually, much worse
i just want to go, dissapear, vanish, be gone from this world
i really dont want to be me anymore
so if i do die, please help me lord, please say there is something better than this?
theres got to be?
i wish i could make sense of all these thoughts going round my head
my heart is empty, i feel like i am going into a black hole
despair??? lord please tell me why i am feeling this way
please tell me why i am feeling so alone
help me!!!!
please help me!!!!!!!!!!!!!
its not going to be ok
is it?
im on my way back down
and i will never be able to turn my frown upside down
i will never be ok
i will never be anything
im just one big fuck up!!!

22 Apr 2007 The Heart Broken lil sis Please,dont anybody on here kill themselves.I havent tried it my ive lost many people due to it.My friend George Palladino,who was like my brother, jumped off the Walt Wjittman Bridge in Philly on Nov. 21,2006.I miss him so much. If your trying to kill yourself first stop and think about the people ur eafecting. i lost 3 people in the past 7 months due to suicide. Im begging u, PLEASE DONT KILL YOURSELF. It wont make the pain go away because the guilt of what u did and the memories of ur happy days will follow u and ull start to regret it. Dont hurt ur family and friends by doing some stupid shit like that.Im starting to cry just thinking about why my "big bro" jumped of the damn bridge. Please go and get help or whatever u need to do so ur not another precious life ruined.

Love u bro
R.I.P George Palladino
02 Apr 2007 mike J If anyone knows pain, it's me. Growing in the harsh streets of west philadelfia born and raised
On the playground where I spent most of my days
Chilling out, maxing, relaxing all cool
And all shooting some b-ball outside of the school
When a couple of guys said "we’re up in no good"
Started making trouble in my neighbourhood
I got in one little fight and my mom got scared
And said "you’re moving with your auntie and uncle in bel-air"

I whistled for a cab and when it came near the
Licensplate said "fresh" and had a dice in the mirror
If anything I could say that this cab was rare
But I thought now forget it, yo home to bel-air

I pulled up to a house about seven or eight
And I yelled to the cabby "yo, home smell you later"
Looked at my kingdom I was finally there
To sit on my throne as the prince of bel-air

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