|Reading these suicide pages you will find people seeking help and people offering their help. Some witness about suicide from real life experience, others who play along with me would pretend it's a children's game. Some make sick and cruel jokes about it, and angry people blame me for even mentioning the subject. You might also want to read my favourite answers. If you want your answer to be included here, fill in the form.|
What is the best way to kill yourself when you're under 13?
Quelle est la meilleure forme de suicide pour les moins de 13 ans?
|22 Sep 2005||britney hilton||YO LUCY CORTINA UNLESS U ARE A LESBIAN HU IS OBSESSED WITH BOOBS THAT GROW HOLES OR SUMTHING - DID U KNOW MOUCHETTE IS A GIRL?????? SO I THINK U SHULD STOP RITING STORIES ABOUT MOUCHETTE EJACULATING ON UR BOOBS.
YEAH I KNOW! I WAS SHOCKED SO MUCH I DROPPED ONTO MY PC AND FRIED IT.
HONESTLY MOUCHETTE I SAW UR PICTURE AND U LOOK SO SWEET AND INNOCENT AND NAIVE. MAN U CERTAINLY DNT LOOK LIKE THE TYPE OF PERSON 2 BE RUNNING THIS KINDA WEBSITE.
MY GOODNESS. ANYWAYS MOUCHETTE U POLISH CHIK, U FASCINATE ME. U REALLY SEEM 2 BE AN INTERESTING PEROSN EVEN THOUGH I'VE NEVER EVER MET U IN MY WHOLE LIFE.
OKAY WELL HAVE A GOOD DAY MOUCHETTY AND I HOPE 2 MEET U ONE DAY IN POLAND OR WHATEVA.
|20 Sep 2005||Lucy Cortina||(continued)
"Oh Lucy!" exclaimed Mouchette. "Oh Mouchette!", exclaimed I. "Give me your brains to keep me alive!" Mouchette ran around the table to where I was seated, ripped open my blouse, and lifted me onto the table. It creaked under the strain.
"Not the breasts!" I said, but it was too late, Mouchette pushed me backwards onto the plates full of chicken breasts, turkey breasts, and so on. It was very slippery.
We made love on top of the table. On top of a table full of breasts.
And he certainly didn't disappoint. At some point during all the passion, the table collapsed, but I didn't notice - I was in such ecstacy. The feelings coming out of his beautiful brains were incredible. Such power, such beauty, such darkness!
My breasts began to slowly expand, but I didn't notice until it was too late. Mouchette rubbed garlic butter over my boobs, and it felt so good I commanded him to continue. He was actually lubricating my boobs in preparation for his evil plan...
As they expanded, small holes began to open in the nipples. I felt like I was going to orgasm. The feeling grew, as Mouchette squeezed and rubbed my boobs, as they inflated, until I reached the point of climax. When I did, a very odd thing happened. Mouchette's brains ejaculated into my boobies! Not physically, but emotionally...
|10 Sep 2005||Lucy Cortina||You may all wonder where I have been these last few months. I'll fill you in:
It was a lovely summers day in gay Paree, birds were singing and french folk were eating croissants. I got a call on my mobile - it was Mouchette. He'd traced my number, the sneaky bastard! He invited me to dinner at his secret mansion, and being curious I agreed. He sent a blacked-out limousine to take me there. Very fancy.
Mouchette's masnion was beautiful, full of towering stained glass windows and turrets. As you'd expect, it was also totally over-the-top. Blood ran down the windows and the door knocker was a striped penis.
"Very lovely", I said as he answered the door, to which he replied "I agree", looking down at my boobs.
He was very polite, and offered me chocolates and wine, which tasted suspiciously like blood.
The main course was, quite appropriately, a selection of breasts. Chicken breasts, turkey breasts, goose breasts - the works. They were all coated in garlic butter.
"These are much nicer than my breasts", I commented as I tucked in.
"Oh I don't know about that...", said Mouchette.
At that point he looked at me from the other side of the table. I looked at him. Our eyes twinkled. In that moment we both knew what we REALLY wanted. I fancied him for his brains - he fancied me for my boobs. I had been lusting after those beautiful artistic brains of his for so long now that it made my very boobs ache.
(If only I knew how accurately my desires were about to be fulfilled...)
|08 Sep 2005||Scors-b||Just read some of lucy cortina's posts. Just kidding, very funny. =)|
|08 Sep 2005||Mouchette's Bitch||Help! Someone help me. Mouchette has imprisoned me in his bathroom as a joke - he knows I'm claustrophobic and it causes my boobs to inflate. He watches me through the 2-way mirror and laughs at me every day. He thinks it's funny when I can barely breathe because my face is pressed against the wall as my breasts expand.
I am sending this message telepathically via one of Mouchette's brains, as his brains are inside my boobies, and he is only using one of them at the moment.
|15 Jul 2005||Lucy Cortina||Chorus:
I'be got brains in my boobies
I've got brains in my boobies
I've got brains in my boobies
Mouchette put them there
He now controls my boobs,
after a little operation.
The can float, they can inflate;
they're the world heavyweights.
Everyone is jealous,
cos Mouchette's inside my boobs.
He now gets all his pleasure
living inside my boobs
*repeat chorus x 2*
The world cries "where is Mouchette?!" "where is Mouchette?!"
Nobody knows, nobody cares,
for his brains are in my boobies, my boobies boobies bobies.
Mouchette is here, there's nothing to fear,
for his brains are in my boobies;
and my boobs will go on..and on.....
*chorus x 2*
My boobs want to explode,
when Mouchette is having sex.
No one knows how he does it,
he has a lovely pair of brains!
They could destroy the world,
so must must stay inside my boobies
Mouchette's brains are too big
so they must stay inside my boobies
*chorus x 2*
His brains must stay incide my boobies.
|09 Apr 2005||For Lucy Cortina From Felicia The Great||To Lucy Cortina in regards to the oldest profession in the world.
No, I am not into that stuff. But last night, I had a horrible dream that I was
a skanky hoe. There was these two fine latino dudes in the kitchen who were waiting for me and I stood them up. Since I couldn't come downstairs, they left me an apology note and said that something came up but will meet me later.
And guess who was the pimp?
Well anyways, you told me that I had to find a way to make money (OR ELSE!) and
that we were running broke.
The dream scarred me the rest of the day because I sang "Dim All The Lights"
by Donna Summer and never stopped.
......oh what a horrible thing.......
Write me soon dear.
|05 Mar 2005||MEREK(i miss clayton)||hey its me merek with the dead cousin clayton....... im in denial of myself so what should i do with myself should i commit suicide or should i still exist i want eveyones opinion on this if you hate me e-mail me and tell me i should if you feel bad for me e-mail me and tell me i shouldnt please please please i want to know if i should or not and i want that stupid bitch lucy cortina's gay opinion so e-mail me at claytons e-mail addres email@example.com please do it please|
|05 Mar 2005||MEREK(i miss clayton)||claytons name was who cares when he first saw this site and you know what i read all of lucy cortinas shit on here and its all a fucking lie why does she write on here if she wont kill herself your probably asking me the same question well ill tell you why i write on this and im not dead yet its because...CLAYTON DID IT FIRST!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
|04 Mar 2005||You Have No Friends Because You Suck||people who i want to kill with a two by four: Religious Maggie, Rev poosy, mouchette, lucy cortina.
am i the only one here that thinks that this is all one person? she would have to be a fucking retard but maybe thats giving her a little too much credit...
there is no afterlife + you wont even know you're dead = the concept of suicide is moronic.
why kill yourself when you can kill others?
|31 Jan 2005||Lucy Cortina||Last time I left you all gasping in shock at the thought of me being carried away by the police, boobies bare and swinging. However it didn't end quite like that.
After the woman shouted "call the police!" I panicked. I couldn't have my boobs boobhandled by the police!! I've heard what happens in prison, they take away your bra so you can't hang yourself with it. As if I would commit breasticide again! It caused me enough trouble the last time I did it. Anyway I panicked and looked around for an escape exit. There was a gap in-between two wobblers (fat women) which was my best bet. God help me if I should become squashed between them. I ran towards them, and a look of pure terror appeared on their over-sized faces. They tried to duck but it was too late - I was running at them with such force that my boobs sort of flapped out to the sides (almost like boobie-shaped wings) and hit them with such force that they were sent flying. They landed on their backs and because of their size, couldn't get up again. I kept on running. My boobs were swinging about as I ran, it was actually very hard to run because of the weight of them. I managed to find a hiding spot in the park, and as it was dry, I sat down. I noticed that my boobs were sort of shrinking in size, very slowly, but they were shrinking. What on earth is wrong with them?! They expand when I'm in public yet they shrink when I'm in private. I have a pair of exhibitionist breasts! Luckily I had a new pink top packed in my bag, so I took it out and put it on. Very sexy. I went home and lay in my bed to cleanse myself of the shame of what had happened that day.
I was woken the next day by my sister jumping on my bed, singing "Boobie girl boobie girl, I'm a boobie girl, in a boobie world!" For the sake of Albert's pickled brain I'm sick of hearing about boobies! I went downstairs and asked mum what was up with my sister. "Oh haven't you heard?" she said. "A girl with enormous hooters killed a pigeon and then attacked two women last night near the park. It was in the newspaper this morning".
OH NOOO OOOO OOOO OOOOOOOOOO.....!!!
|23 Jan 2005||Lucy Cortina||The other day I killed a pigeon with my boobies. Allow me to explain:
Since my bra collection is now missing, I have been using a makeshift bra - the largest one I could find. And I bought it from one of those shops "for the larger person". As I walked in, the "larger" people stared at me like I was some freak. Well I suppose being as slim as I am I did look out of place there. I pointed at my boobs, then everyone seemed to instantly understand why I was there, and that I was "one of them", at least in the boobie department. All the women turned and carried on looking at the tent-sized negligés, underwear and so on, whilst the men were still oogling at my boobies. I remained dignified by looking at the bra section with my nose stuck up in the air. It didn't last long though as I was having trouble seeing the bras, which is saying something as they were enormous. I chose the largest size there, a huge pink bra with extra-strong straps on it made out of leather. I fully knew that it would never contain my breasts should they expand, but this was the best I would find at such short notice.
After wearing my new bra for about 10 minutes (I put it on in the public toilets, a woman walked in on me and immediately ran out screaming) my boobs were starting to feel sweaty and the bra straps were creaking under the enormous strain. "Not in public!" I thought. I knew what was about to happen so I panicked. There were people everywhere except a patch of grass where some pigeons were feeding. I swung my whole body around so my boobs were facing them, at which point my bra straps snapped. My boobs shot out of my top at practically light speed, which was when everything went into one of those "slow motion" freeze-frame things you see in movies. My boobs were hurtling towards the pigeons, I screamed "Nooo ooh ooho oooo" in one of those distorted slow-motion voices, and the pigeons all took flight.
My boobs hit the pigeon before it even had chance to look up. It was of course crushed on the spot. Seeing my boobs squishing against the pigeon was horrific. At least it died happy. But I wasn't happy.
"Help me! Help meeeeeeee! There's dead pigeon stuck to my boobs! Get it off! Get it off!!!"
I swung my boobs around and around frantically trying to shake off the feathers and blood and dead pigeon covering my boobs. A clump of tail feathers and blood flew off me and hit a woman on her bum, but she thought her boyfriend had pinched it and hugged him. Everyone was staring at me and one woman shouted "CALL THE POLICE!!"
To be continued..............
|21 Jan 2005||Era||Lucy Cortina sorry about you being braless and all, but those guys hooting at you...thats just disgusting and its good that you're much more sophisticated then all of that.
Well hey everyone my name is Era, and i'm writing from the Van Nuys Area in CA. I'm 15 years old and i've been suicidal since i was about 12 or 11. It started with me basically hating myself and everything about me. My mother has a very lousy personality and she usually took out her stress on me and my little brother. As it turned out all the emotional shit she said really affected me and i was constantly trying to make myself better. i began binging, never eating and working out constantly. As a result in 7th grade i began making more friends and i was a cheerleader, for a while all the pain went away because i was kept busy and i truly felt wanted, but when my mother and i started fighting again everything came rushing back like waves of hatred and anger. in 8th grade the cutting began, as well as the drugs and i was taking two lines of cocaine everyday just so i could lose more weight. i ruined almost everyone around me's life because i was known for doing stupid things. they of course thought i was fine, but even as we laugh the heart aches and all my problems were dragging me down. after cutting lost its appeal i began burning my skin and popping pills just to see how many i could take until i went unconcious, when nothing happened i became more drastic and slit my throat. i was unsuccessful and just ended up in the hospital. my mother once again blamed it all on me and my friends didnt know i had a 'problem' i guess you could say that all i really wanted was for someone to notice what i was doing, but no one every did. till this day i think about commiting suicide, but i'm a little older and living with my dad and those emotions dont surface as much. I'm kept busy and go to this continuation school that have kids with problems also and it helps to be around people like me. i see a therapist reguarlarly and i've begun to read the bible, but sometimes i cant really control myself and all i want to do is die. looking in the mirror is like seeing someone i dont want to be anymore and when i wake up its like a slap in my face, knowing that i'm still in this shitty world. i know theres people out there like me and i'd like to commuicate with you all if you want. just email me at firstname.lastname@example.org take care you all.
|19 Jan 2005||Lucy Cortina||Well really Felicia! At this rate I shall have no bras left. I would go Bra Shopping but they don't stock them in XXXXXXXXXL sizes. My bra collection was custom-made which is why I need it back so urgently. Mouchette I swear that if you snap any of them for sexual pleasure I will personally use them to strangle you with, assuming you are the culprit of course.
At the moment I am, as you may have guessed, braless. So my boobs just hang under my [very]low-cut pink top, with no support at all. I have had a few men in cars hooting at my hooters, which disturbs me because I am far too sophisticated for them.
Felicia (how are you darling by the way?) you had better come up with a replacement for the damaged goods (I mean bras) otherwise I will tar you with the same spanking brush as Mouchette. Now just you think about that.
|19 Jan 2005||Felicia NOT so Great||Dear Lucy Cortina,
Today I shaved a dog. The hair got in my bra; as a result I ended up with a hairy chest. It was a fur bearing Chow (mean little runt) and a decrepit Maltese, and a disgruntled Yorkie, who did me injustice today. I shaved a Yorkshire Terrier too short and a customer replied, Alas! I will never come here again!" As I said "Sorry" over and over again, my world of self-destructiveness came to no end.
The smell of wet dog lingers in my dungaroos.
Save me Lucy!! A dog just mauled your rubber gift. I no longer have a pair of them anymore.
...For there is only one.
|17 Jan 2005||Lucy Cortina||Alert! Alert! My secret bra collection has been stolen! After checking the top-secret nuclear Bra Bunker where agent Danny stashed them, I discovered that they have all been pilfered. Now that is surely [cryogenic] grave-robbing at its sexiest? Perhaps they imagined that Lucy Cortina, moi, was an Egyptian Queen-turned-goddess and that my bras were special. Yes that will be it.
Agent Danny had hidden them before I was frozen so that the mad Dr Philville wouldn't find them and sell them to Mouchette. But I fear that Mouchette did some detective work and discovered them all by himself. Mouchette is now number one suspect in this case...
I do know the location of the Inflatable variety - darling Felicia borrowed them in a fit of lesbianism - but the leather, PVC, silk, gold, strapless, frontless and frillyness varieties have all gone. There was a dirty looking white bra in the bunker but such a bra wouldn't be seen on my boobs even if they were dead (which isn't that unlikely).
WHO STOLE THEM??? I need them to be found ASAP. There were many sizes of bras to fulfill the needs of my very demanding boobs, but now with the recently diagnosed BreastInflating illness that I have, normal bras can no longer contain them (as if they did before). I do hope this mystery will be solved soon, otherwise I will have to file a Boobsuit against Mouchette. It really is le grand mystére de les pantaloons...
*Note: I speak in French every now and then only to satisfy my French Fans*
|05 Jan 2005||Lucy Cortina||UPDATE ON MEEEE:
My breasts are very unstable and keep inflating and deflating. There doesn't seem to be a cure. My previous pair tragically died and departed to the Great Boobie Heaven, they're probably sat in a prayer circle wearing silk bras and chanting as we speak.
I am told that I was frozen on Mount Booby and have been recently revived. Apparently I am still the same age as I was when I was frozen, yet everyone else has gotten older. That is actually true as my little sister is now into boys and brings them home to do "kissy poos" as she calls them. She puckers up her lips like a vacuum cleaner, and kisses the boys with an evil glint in her eyes, almost as if she's sucking out their souls. The poor boys have to be pulled off her in the end and we never see them again. My sister then moves onto her next victim.
I still have spots, even being frozen for over a year couldn't get rid of them. I think it's about time I put an end to this nonsense and booked myself into an Ugly Hospital (which is probably run by Ugly Nurses. I hope it isn't contagious!)
Mouchette, as you already know, SSSS can no longer deliver me to you. I'm done with the SSSS, just look what trouble they have caused me. I'm now considering new career options, I've had a lot of offers after the publicity from being found on Mount Booby (which, unbelievably, looks even larger than both of my boobs morphed into one when they are fully expanded (imagine that!)) I am considering offers of doing a special weekly edition of "Boobie News" for the BBBC (British Boobie Broadcasting Co-operation), so watch this space.
|02 Jan 2005||Lucy Cortina||Hellooosh everyone helloosh Mouchettie it's new years eve and Ive had a little drinkie-poo, yes I have. At least it was new years eve when I had my first drinkie-poo. Oh Im so glad to be back again, where is my Felicia? And my Billy? I didnt mean to slice off his sausage meat. I have so much to tell you all because Ive been to the afterlife and Ive experienced my boobies expand to boobnormous heights. I should go nowsh theres a policeman staring at me through the window. I did have my breasts presshed against the window earlier and they left a sort of patch of condensation where they were. I didnt realise that was illegal though.|
|20 Dec 2004||President Bobo of the SSSS agency||Lucy Cortina has now been successfully revived and is in full working order. Her boobs are now stable, after going through a process of inflation and deflation. Our team of specialist doctors spent many weeks pumping out the air from her breasts. Once the air was gone they would fill up again and inflate to bursting point. Imagine the scene: Lucy Cortina topless on a hospital bed surrounded by nurses, with enormous breasts the size of 2 large beanbags. In the end we managed to force the air out by strapping her breasts against her chest very tightly with a tight black PVC bra when the air had been pumped out. We believe Lucy Cortina suffers from a breast abnormality that encourages her breasts to fill with air and then release it again, almost as if they are breathing. We have heard rumours that her breasts may actually be alive in themselves, and that her current boobs are actually a new pair of tits that have been reborn, after her previous knockers departed to The Great Boobie Heaven (where they say that boobies fly around and squish against other passing boobies, whilst men observe them).
We have also sewn on some new nipples for Lucy as the caps from the cola bottles that we used as temporary nipples shot off her boobs during a "nurse! theyre about to burst!" episode. It looked like 2 corks flying off enormous barrel shaped wine bottles. It was actually this that enabled us to force the air from her breasts once and for all.
She is still slightly confused and dazed but has been calling out for "my Billy!" quite regularly, sadly we do not know who she means. If anyone can help us, please do let us know.
We shall keep you informed of her progress and hopefully she may even give you a little visit. But don't expect too much, her breasts are still undergoing tests as they still inflate quite a lot sometimes - we think this may be a permanent 'illness' that is only found in very beautiful women.
|08 Dec 2004||Felicia The Great||Garry,
You are so imaginative and creative with your beautiful persona of the moon. Send more of your writings because your creative thoughts bring much color to those who only see black and white.
Dear Girl with the A cup bra,
Lucy Cortina has a list of bras you can pick from. I asked her for the inflatable kind. That way you don't have to worry about painful silicone breast implants or pasting rubber boobies on your chest with rubber cement.
I know the men out there think I am another eccentric woman on the rampage for silicone-injected boobies. These men out there don't know that I going insane with their cantankerous accusations to keep my chest real and to let it all hang out with old age. They don't realize how bad it can be for my back. If my aging sagging knockers were any lower and I threw them over my shoulder, I would have to contact the designers of Versace or Louis Vitton and suggest they create the over the shoulder double "knocker" purse with piercing double brass buckles.