Reading these suicide pages you will find people seeking help and people offering their help. Some witness about suicide from real life experience, others who play along with me would pretend it's a children's game. Some make sick and cruel jokes about it, and angry people blame me for even mentioning the subject. You might also want to read my favourite answers. If you want your answer to be included here, fill in the form.

Date Name/email

Nom/email
What is the best way to kill yourself when you're under 13?

Quelle est la meilleure forme de suicide pour les moins de 13 ans?
08 Jan 2006 Felicia The Great It's amazing how people out there can be so cruel and talk to you like your some complete idiot and they don't even know you. Just remember this one phrase... Respect yourself.

And to the guy who is rich and thinks he can have all the gorgeous women in the world because he has MONEY... and he calls them whores. But never offers me that Tiffany ring as promised... Remember Gaucho Amigo...

"If you lick a rich woman and she is enjoying it, then many riches to you for she'll probably offer you a genuine rolex watch."

Good luck in searching, by then you probably will win the lotto. But there is 1 in a million chances that you will get lucky. Sorry to note, I am not one of those chosen few.

Life is too short, so don't waste your precious time on some gal like me.
05 Jan 2006 Felicia The Great Dear Mouchette,

It's a cold, cold 2006. I have been on this site for almost four years, can you believe it? I never realized that this website was a forum.

The history of me writing in this post website began in late December of 2001. There I was lamenting over a hopeless relationship of lost dreams. It was the year of drowning misery of guzzling Peppermint Schnapps in a cold, cold room on a dark hillside. It was so cold, you can talk in the room and a mist of warm air came out of your mouth. Now you wanted to know what it was like for a bum to live in a cardboard box. Think of it as a cardboard box bedroom. I was ready to end my life then. I lay awake on a cold, cold bed staring at a ceiling, bundled in a jacket, knit cap, and Nike shoes filled with thermal socks.

It felt like Heaven’s Gate at Hale Bopp for me, but Applegate already left the building.

Then Lucy Cortina and Billy the Freak came to the rescue.
04 Jan 2006 Felicia The Great It seems that I have a fan.

I have a young man who wants to shower me with Tiffany diamonds, a house, and a Mercedes. I predict Lucy Cortina will get jealous about this.

I am afraid she will hate me if I plan to have plastic surgery for a double 38 B and cushy silicon breasts.

I see her fuming now. Oh.... I see her fuming now. Billy the Weeping freak beware. Be very aware.
21 Dec 2005 Felicia The Great It seems I have major fans. Nobody knows what it is like to live on the rim of extinction. Billy the Freak is back, Lucy Cortina is in full swing with her knockers, Just a Girl is in hiatus, and as for me, I am just yammering away and reading these posts from the unfortunate and the too fortunate.

I will explain to you what a suicide kit is. A suicide kit has ten digits and a brain. At the present moment, as you are reading this post, your brain is functioning at will. In 25 or 40 years you will develop memory loss. You will die eventually some day, it could be tonight, it could be tomorrow. So stop making attempts in killing yourself and let nature take its course. Don't fast forward your life ending it with suicide because its too much work.

Would you find it too much work to do something thrilling like sky diving? Or surfing? Or working on occupations that are life threatening? If you plan on taking your life, why not enjoy it by helping others? You can save another person's life by risking your life. I see people everyday on a death wish. Their thoughts are to help the unfortunate.

As for me, being a dog groomer has its death wish too. You can be mauled to death by bathing a Pit Bull, Mastiff, or Rottweiler. Or get an infection from a fear biting Shih Tzu and die from it.

Death is all around you. Make the best of it. It only gets worst when you wallow in the "Woe is me" mentality mode. Has it occurred to you that there are mysteries out there you really should know about?

I salute to Billy, Lucy, Just a Girl, and the people that helped warm up this website, despite the cold, cold world.

And for you, I would like you to remember this that you are not alone and your life is not over. Feel free to email me whenever you can or simply submit to this seeking help posts in this website.

With Love Always,

Felicia The Great

10 Nov 2005 The Dude dear mouchette
this suicide thing has turned to crap.all people do hear is make jokes nad have dumb ass fuckers saying u make me sick.U should bring back everbody like just a girl lucy felicia emily will the gay guy and everybody because i miss them and they havent posted in so long.And for all u other people suicide is no fuckin joke so dont fuckin joke about it.
10 Sep 2005 felicia George the best way is to not kill ursself at all and to suck it up b/c thats what being a teens about and if some1 is hurting u get help and don't wait no matter how much they say they'll hurt u get help now it can't be any worce then what u wanna do to ur self
09 Apr 2005 For Lucy Cortina From Felicia The Great To Lucy Cortina in regards to the oldest profession in the world.

Dear Lucy,

No, I am not into that stuff. But last night, I had a horrible dream that I was
a skanky hoe. There was these two fine latino dudes in the kitchen who were waiting for me and I stood them up. Since I couldn't come downstairs, they left me an apology note and said that something came up but will meet me later.

And guess who was the pimp?

Well anyways, you told me that I had to find a way to make money (OR ELSE!) and
that we were running broke.

The dream scarred me the rest of the day because I sang "Dim All The Lights"
by Donna Summer and never stopped.

......oh what a horrible thing.......

Write me soon dear.
10 Mar 2005 Felicia If you rly want to kill yourself, just over dose on extesicy. trust me it works, really good. its only about $7.50 a pill and all you need is pry 5. you get so creeped out that you forget about life and you die. so try that
19 Jan 2005 Lucy Cortina Well really Felicia! At this rate I shall have no bras left. I would go Bra Shopping but they don't stock them in XXXXXXXXXL sizes. My bra collection was custom-made which is why I need it back so urgently. Mouchette I swear that if you snap any of them for sexual pleasure I will personally use them to strangle you with, assuming you are the culprit of course.
At the moment I am, as you may have guessed, braless. So my boobs just hang under my [very]low-cut pink top, with no support at all. I have had a few men in cars hooting at my hooters, which disturbs me because I am far too sophisticated for them.

Felicia (how are you darling by the way?) you had better come up with a replacement for the damaged goods (I mean bras) otherwise I will tar you with the same spanking brush as Mouchette. Now just you think about that.
19 Jan 2005 Felicia NOT so Great Dear Lucy Cortina,

Today I shaved a dog. The hair got in my bra; as a result I ended up with a hairy chest. It was a fur bearing Chow (mean little runt) and a decrepit Maltese, and a disgruntled Yorkie, who did me injustice today. I shaved a Yorkshire Terrier too short and a customer replied, Alas! I will never come here again!" As I said "Sorry" over and over again, my world of self-destructiveness came to no end.

The smell of wet dog lingers in my dungaroos.

Save me Lucy!! A dog just mauled your rubber gift. I no longer have a pair of them anymore.

...For there is only one.
17 Jan 2005 Lucy Cortina Alert! Alert! My secret bra collection has been stolen! After checking the top-secret nuclear Bra Bunker where agent Danny stashed them, I discovered that they have all been pilfered. Now that is surely [cryogenic] grave-robbing at its sexiest? Perhaps they imagined that Lucy Cortina, moi, was an Egyptian Queen-turned-goddess and that my bras were special. Yes that will be it.
Agent Danny had hidden them before I was frozen so that the mad Dr Philville wouldn't find them and sell them to Mouchette. But I fear that Mouchette did some detective work and discovered them all by himself. Mouchette is now number one suspect in this case...

I do know the location of the Inflatable variety - darling Felicia borrowed them in a fit of lesbianism - but the leather, PVC, silk, gold, strapless, frontless and frillyness varieties have all gone. There was a dirty looking white bra in the bunker but such a bra wouldn't be seen on my boobs even if they were dead (which isn't that unlikely).

WHO STOLE THEM??? I need them to be found ASAP. There were many sizes of bras to fulfill the needs of my very demanding boobs, but now with the recently diagnosed BreastInflating illness that I have, normal bras can no longer contain them (as if they did before). I do hope this mystery will be solved soon, otherwise I will have to file a Boobsuit against Mouchette. It really is le grand mystére de les pantaloons...

*Note: I speak in French every now and then only to satisfy my French Fans*
02 Jan 2005 Lucy Cortina Hellooosh everyone helloosh Mouchettie it's new years eve and Ive had a little drinkie-poo, yes I have. At least it was new years eve when I had my first drinkie-poo. Oh Im so glad to be back again, where is my Felicia? And my Billy? I didnt mean to slice off his sausage meat. I have so much to tell you all because Ive been to the afterlife and Ive experienced my boobies expand to boobnormous heights. I should go nowsh theres a policeman staring at me through the window. I did have my breasts presshed against the window earlier and they left a sort of patch of condensation where they were. I didnt realise that was illegal though.
11 Dec 2004 Felicia On Deductive Reasoning Violence And Christmas Shopping * Alert
12/10/04
Today I was walking in a shopping mall. At around 7 pm (Pacific Standard Time) a flurry of teenage boys stood kitty corner in front of a knife store and were exchanging hostile words. It was turning into a nasty fight. One of the girls by the cell phone booth yelled out "SECURITY!" The crowd witnessing the fight became curious and hung around. There I was trying to go through a standing crowd. I said to myself, "Why are these freaking idiots standing around looking at the fight? Get out and move on because someone may pull a knife or gun unexpectedly!" I became annoyed, moved quickly to avoid a brawling stampede, and continued to the nearest Bath & Body Works department store.

If you see a fight developing in a public place or happen to drive by an accident on a highway, keep moving.

In this crazy, crazy hostile world, use deductive reasoning.

For survival, watch for these common everyday high risk factors.

1.) Keep your eyes open in front and back of you. Don't use tunnel vision. Blinders are meant for horses going around on a whirly bird treadmill.

2.) Watch what you say in public. Bitter words stir up strife. If the person is continously picking on you, move on. If you are unable to avoid the situation, go to security or any person who can help you. Don't argue with the hostile nincompoop.

3.) Don't run with scissors.

4.) Tie your shoes to avoid tripping. Untied shoes are not in style anymore and it makes you look really foolish.

If you avoid hazards, then you are on your way to staying alive longer.

If it is the opposite, consider this your own suicide kit.
08 Dec 2004 Felicia The Great Garry,

You are so imaginative and creative with your beautiful persona of the moon. Send more of your writings because your creative thoughts bring much color to those who only see black and white.

Dear Girl with the A cup bra,

Lucy Cortina has a list of bras you can pick from. I asked her for the inflatable kind. That way you don't have to worry about painful silicone breast implants or pasting rubber boobies on your chest with rubber cement.

Dear Phil,

I know the men out there think I am another eccentric woman on the rampage for silicone-injected boobies. These men out there don't know that I going insane with their cantankerous accusations to keep my chest real and to let it all hang out with old age. They don't realize how bad it can be for my back. If my aging sagging knockers were any lower and I threw them over my shoulder, I would have to contact the designers of Versace or Louis Vitton and suggest they create the over the shoulder double "knocker" purse with piercing double brass buckles.
06 Dec 2004 joe lee i am chineese. please excuse mine english. please consider coming to china and be my sexual slave before you kill yourself. email me.
and felicia year of the monkey. you know in china we say in year of monkey woman must wrap feet. chineese custom.
31 Oct 2004 Phil Hey weirdass, your posts are hilarious, keep them coming. And dont worry over Felicia, like me she uses anything for cheap self-promotion. Perhaps next you may even see her kissing Britney Spears.

As for the endless idiots who post here wanting to report this site to the authoririties...WHAT PLANET DO YOU LIVE ON? Perhaps you should report websites showing pedophiles abusing children to the authorities, or better yet perhaps you should report the authorities treatment of dying people in third world countries to the authorities? If you dont yet understand or 'get' this website, perhaps you should take my advice and let it all wash over you (in the manner of the infamous shower scene in Lesbo College Girls 2). Observe it all and make sense of it all. The people here are all real and are expressing themselves in many weird and wacky, sometimes creative ways.
I, however, still dont really understand any of it. Ooh Im going to be in the shower for a very long time.
28 Oct 2004 One Weird Ass Mother Fucker Thanks Felicia, that was pretty good advice. Unfortunately, my anger is feigned. I'm not really angry at stupid suicidal peeps, I just vent here for some odd reason. I don't know what I'm really angry at....... so unfortunately that anger probably won't be put to practical use. But thank you for realizing that I am superior. Yay.

So you're a Sailor Moon fan eh? ME TOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I'm WAMP!!!!!!!
27 Oct 2004 Felicia's Last F... Dear One Mad Weird Ass Mother F'er,
(I'll call you W.A.M.F. for short)

I can understand your reasoning for being so p.o'd looking at this website. You'd like to ask these people "Would like like some cheese with that whine?" or "Kill yourself and get it over with, you stupid mother f'er!)

W.A.M.F? Did you know that your opinions really do matter? That's why you are posted in this site. I can understand your arguements about people who incessantly want to do away with themselves and end it all. You get so sick and tired of hearing the same old crap all the time. So that is why SOCIETY has psychiatrists who hear the same freakin thing everyday and get freakin paid for it.

Dude? If you want to make an arguement of a wrong by making a right, why don't you make a statement to the world press and let everybody know about birth control? Maybe you can prevent the future generation from thinking and wishing that they were never born. You know, being one step ahead.... being ahead of the crowd.... being smarter and setting yourself up for world domination.

If you can do that you are in for a big surprise. You know, you just saved the whole world from killing themselves.

Now, W.A.M.F., if I do not make sense and you tell me to shut the "f" up.

But listen to me, you can make a difference. From all your anger and outrage in posting your arguement of how stupid some people are, you are probably right.

This should be your quote W.A.M.F. on birth control:

"If you save a Fuck from fucking in time, you'll save 9."
25 Oct 2004 Phil Quite right Felicia! I speak from experience as I was the first contestant of the UK Big Brother to have gay sex on TV. It was in all the papers and I was denounced as a demon, so I drifted into a life of fantasy and boobies. It's a lot more interesting.
24 Oct 2004 Felicia on The best way to kill yourself is to watch 24-hour marathons of reality television, while eating a giant tub of buttered popcorn. Then you swig it down with cola. Later, you compare yourself with Paris Hilton, whose filthy rich, beautiful, and very, very untalented. You then figure you have more talent than she does and hit straight to the top of Hollywood and find that you are a reality television star. Then you hang out with all your friends who love to freebase on taboo herbal remedies. The next thing you know, you're flying free and enjoying a life of debauchery but fail to recognize that the surface beneath you is hard cold pavement.

In other words, stop watching so much nonsense “fad” reality television and educate your mind with books.

“A mind is a terrible thing to waste.”

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