|Reading these suicide pages you will find people seeking help and people offering their help. Some witness about suicide from real life experience, others who play along with me would pretend it's a children's game. Some make sick and cruel jokes about it, and angry people blame me for even mentioning the subject. You might also want to read my favourite answers. If you want your answer to be included here, fill in the form.|
What is the best way to kill yourself when you're under 13?
Quelle est la meilleure forme de suicide pour les moins de 13 ans?
|05 Nov 2007||brad||hi its me again and i just want to let mouchette know that even thought maybe ur life is dreadful and painfilled...ur lucky that u have life so many of my loved ones have died and i really dont appreciate that u want to kill yourself when ur fine u dont have cancer or anything at all so quit complaning this is not funny suicide is no joke at all so stop being so stupid u are all blessed because u guys are fine this note may not mean anything to any of u but i am really mad that u guys are thinking of suicide enjoy life! (its so short)|
|05 Nov 2007||brad||well there is endless ways to kill yourself....and sometimes life is just not fair and hatefull.i dont recommednd 4 som1 to kill them selves but who am i to tell them right?so if u want to end ur painful life nice and easy without pain at all u can leave the stove on and let the gas fill the room and u will die nice and easy because of overdose on gas chemical..i know this because i almost ended my life and my best friend actually died because of this i was in a coma for 3 years.once again im no one to tell any of you wat to do but if u like take my advice.=)|
|05 Nov 2007||BaZaaR||Trois personnes que j'aimais énormément se sont enlevé la vie au cours des 6 dernières années.
2001 - Mon père
Je crois que la maladie mentale a eu raison de lui. Parfois, il se sentait suivi, épié, regardé ; souvent, il se sentait seul ; par moment, il devenait une autre personne ; un jour, une chose le faisait rire, l'autre jour cette même chose le faisait pleurer. Il était pris dans un monde de contradictions où il ne semblait plus trouver sa place. La mort fut son choix. Sa vie, il n'en avait plus le conrôle. Il a cependant eu le contrôle sur une chose : sa mort.
Son kit de suicide : barbituriques en quantité monstre.
2004 - Mon ami A.
A. avait connu de graves problèmes à l'adolescence. Il ne voulait plus manger parce qu'il se trouvait laid. Il croyait que pour être aimé, il fallait être mince. En même temps qu'il maigrissait, il commencait, petit à petit, à changer d'attitude envers les gens : mentir sur sa vie, sur son alimentation, sur ses fréquentations et sur son usage de plus en plus marqué de cocaïne. Mythomane professionnel, il cherchait l'amour dans le mensonge. L'amour, il l'a cherché, mais ne l'a jamais vraiment trouvé. Des relations multipliés, des relations physiques, sans plus. Je pense que personne ne l'aura jamais connu comme je le connaissais... Sa vie, il la racontait différemment à chaque personne. C'était sa façon personnelle et particulière de devenir important au yeux de quelqu'un. Un matin, je reçois un appel de ses parents. À ses pendu dans le garage durant la nuit. Un mal d'être inguérissable pourrait-on croire... Un geste irréfléchi sur l'effet de la cocaïne ? Je ne crois pas. C'était pour lui sa façon de se détacher de ce corps qui s'était dressé comme un mur de béton entre lui et l'Autre.
Son kit de suicide : un cable électrique accroché au plafond du garage.
2005 - Mon ami M.
Mon ami M. était avec mon ami A. le soir de sa mort. Tous deux en quête d'amour dans un nightclub, ils s'étaient séparés en fin de soirée alors que, fidèle à son habitude, A. devait quitté la discothèque parce qu'il ne se "sentait pas bien", parce que tout-à-coup il voulait disparaître du regard des autres qui lui était insupportable. M. laissa A. retourner chez lui et retourna faire la fête dans le club. Nous étions tous un peu habitué aux réactions soudaines de A.
Le soir là, A. est mort et M. ne s'est jamais pardonné de l'avoir laissé partir seul du club ce soir là. S'en est suivi le départ de M. pour une autre ville afin de se faire une nouvelle vie à Montréal. Bien que nous étions proches, je ne connaissais que peu de choses sur ces états d'âme. Il était toujours souriant. On m'avait pourtant dit qu'il pleurait souvent. Moi, je ne l'avait jamais vu pleuré. Il semble que la mort de A. l'avait affecté à un tel point qu'il lui était impossible d'accepter la mort de son ami. Son déménagement nous a éloigé.
Un an plus tard, bien que nous nous sommes parlé à l'occasion, M. Revient dans ma région et pour une dernière fois, nous avons été prendre un verre et discuter ensemble. Il me semblait bien triste et il disait ne pas savoir où sa vie le menait. Un mois plus tard, M. est retrouvé mort dans sa chambre, chez ses parent, pendu lui aussi. À son poignet, le bracelet noir et blanc que A. portait le jour de sa mort.
Son kit de suicide : une corde toute simple.
Et moi là-dedans, et bien moi je n'ai jamais jamais oublié le corps mort de mon père lorsque je suis allé l'identifié à la morgue. Son corps noir et bleu, le sang séché qui lui était sorti du nez. Malgré cette image d'horreur, je voyais sur son visage une expression de quiétude et de délivrance. Il avait l'air bien. Je n'oublirai jamais le corps embaumé de mon ami A. qui semblait si peu naturel, comme un mannequin de cire, lorsque nous sommes allé le voir au salon funéraire, mais que j'aurai aimé voir se lever de son cercueil pour qu'il puisse constater à quel point il était aimé de ses proches. Je n'oublierai jamais ce que le prêtre à dit à la fin de son discours sur mon ami M. lorsqu'il a dit "Ton ami t'attend en haut, tu vas enfin pouvoir le rejoindre.".
Je suis probablement l'une de rare personne en se monde qui ne condamne pas le suicide. Je crois que ces personnes ne se sont peut-être pas senties assez armées pour livrer le combat de la vie et qu'elle ont décidées, à leur façon très personnelle, de chercher quelque chose de mieux pour elles. Quelque chose qui n'est pas corporel, quelque chose qui n'est pas matériel.
Il y a des blessures qui ne guérissent pas, quoi que l'on puisse en dire. Moi, j'ai fait le choix de vivre et d'accepter le choix de la mort de la part de ceux que j'aime. Ma vie, je veux la vivre avec ma joie, mes peines, mes blessures, mes plaies ouvertes et cicatrisées, mes petits bonheurs, mes regrets, mes souvenirs, mes morts, mes désirs. Je ne crois pas que ces expériences soient plus ou moins des motifs valables de choisir la vie que ceux qui ont fait le choix d'aller voir ce qu'il y a ailleurs, après la vie, telle qu'on la connait.
Je respecte le choix de ces gens que j'ai aimé. Je ne le comprends pas, mais qui suis-je pour les juger ?
|05 Nov 2007||raven||i don't know the answer to this, i wish i did. i'm not 13, i'm 23, but i'd still like to know the answer. i don't want to jump, i'm scared of becoming a vegetable, then i'm even more screwed. i don't want it to be messy, my family don't deserve that. most of them. i want it to be easy. pills, what if someone finds me - kidney dialysis, screw that. i can't do this anymore. i don't want to be in my head anymore. my thoughts, images, i don't want, can't take. please please tell me how|
|05 Nov 2007||Hardcorepawn||I don't personally care about anyone posting on this damned website. The "shit" you people have been through... well its mild to say the least. There is always someone worse off than you! Do you see them killing themselves? No because they aren't atenttion seaking Idiots. My only advice to anyone seeking to kill themselves is run through a major cities subway system with a backpack and a scarf round your face screaming ALA ALA! That should do the trick. Suicide: The act of killing ones self when said person has no balls! Or the courage to just deal with the4 probelms life throws at you.
I only have 2 more words for all of you;
|04 Nov 2007||Melissa Reed||Hey ya'all... I'm here to try and help anyone who wants it... you can e-mail me at email@example.com or IM me at jokercamaro87 on yahoo messenger. I just want to help... suicide is a permanent solution to a temporary problem... and if you wait long enough the rain will go away...|
|03 Nov 2007||john||Suicide Prevention Help
|03 Nov 2007||Li||colocha: Im still here...PLEASE e-ail me as soon as possible my addy is still li_Dao05@yahoo.com Ive had 2 hospitalizations since we talked but still have my rope ready and will need to use it....hope to hear from you soon. Li|
|03 Nov 2007||Eliot||Tell your parents you love them and watch the astonishment on their faces if youhave two that is. tey may be so shocked that they dont feed you hay presto your DEAD.My attempts werr'nt so imagineitive so alass i'm still alive.|
|02 Nov 2007||WhoHasToKnow||Day, you need to tell someone. What happened wasn't your fault. That guy is a bastard and needs to be put behind bars. You aren't a dirty slut and you have nothing to be ashamed of.|
|02 Nov 2007||Death Star||suicide is the last thing u do when all else fails...
so up until this point u should at least try!! dont tell me you have either because thise under18 have not tried!! if you are over 40 and still feel this way then be my guest and kill yourself!! kids have it better than me, you, and every fucking one else!! i on the otherhand am old enough to make the decision of suicide so peace out mother fuckers.
ps eminem is my lover in my heart!!! because we all know i can never have him in reality well fine he is my lover in heart mind and spirit!! i love my husband marshall mathers aka eminem!!
|02 Nov 2007||UbiK||rana, you've just expressed my own feelings, I'm also so bored of reading these "life defender", "humanists" or anything these people are calling themselves or want to be called. That's it "words are just words", stop naming the things they still are what they are. "words are words" but here you just wrote what I could have written. It won't change anything, I won't feel better but I just wanted to inform you of that.
|02 Nov 2007||Li||Colocha: yes im here...e-mail me at li_Dao05@yahoo.com Im here for you **hugs**|
|01 Nov 2007||Emily||Im 23, cant find a job for months..now on welfare..in bad relationship..In hurt my kids..Im so depressed..I drink all the time..wish I had a bottle of Xanax..why cant I be happy? hats with the mood sings that never end and the never answered prayers? I hate feelin like this, I hate who I am and turned out to be..No family, no friends. Im so freakin lonely..Bulimic, suicidal, scared to live...and to die. Im so numb I have to cut myself to feel anything. My kids would be better off w/o me.. other than that everyone would rejoice the day I finally get enough courage to do it. Drugs do help escape the pain, so does drinking but Id rather die than continue that. Id rather die than be a failure and Id rather die than to be hated.|
|01 Nov 2007||Day||I tried four months ago and obviously failed. I cut, but i wasn't very good at it i guess. I was put into a hospital; I hated it there. I felt like a slave. I had tried to kill myself because i felt like such a slave to my emotions and i wanted freedom and here i was locked up. After the couple weeks i spent there, i gained a lot of confidence and i wanted to live again. About a month after getting out i was still doing fantastic. I took my drugs and i had not hurt myself since. But one day i was walking along a road near my house and a male family friend picked me up. He asked if i wanted a ride home. I said sure. But he didn't take me home. He raped me in the back of his van. I didn't want to lose my virginity to him so i begged him not to fuck me. He agreed not to fuck me in my pussy. I though i was going to be fine. I could handle a guy sucking my tits and deepthroating me. I was a woman, i could be strong. But than he flipped me over and he fucked me up my ass. It hurt sooo much. I have nighmares about him now. I am returning to my habit of self loathing. I have cut 13 times since then. I am afraid of men and now i feel sexually atracted to women. I am scared and i am confused especialy because i see him sometimes. I want to die again. I cant live with this inside me anymore. I feel him inside of me all the time. I am a dirty, slut now. I don't know how much longer i can hold on. I can't tell anyone, not my dad or my mom or my siblings. I feel alone. I don't know what to do. I am so afraid not to give love, recieve love, or even feel love. If anyone has gone through a similar experiance please write about it so i can find inspiration to keep on fighting.|
|01 Nov 2007||Alison||No. Do not do it. At our school over the past 5 months we have lost two kids to a suicide. The first time, it was my best friend. The second time, it was one of my brother's extremely close friends. All I'm saying is that there is no best way to kill yourself. Especially when you are 13 or younger. I just turned 14. My mom has depression, and I have been dealing with it since i was 9 years old. I completely and totally know what you are dealing with. And I totally understand why you want to do this. I've been there. I've wanted to kill my self too. But then I think about how it would effect the other people in my life. Honestly, do you want your parents to live with the regret of knowing that they probabaly contributed to the factors of your death? What about your siblings? I know everyone's said it before, but there is help out there. Even if it's from just another person like me. Whether it be from a psychiatrist or just another teenager there, just know that there ARE people out here who DON'T want to see you go. E-Mail me Please if you need anything.
|01 Nov 2007||ConqueredKing||I can't tell you the easiest way to commit suicide or where we go when we die. I'm just here to vent(maybe I can provide some insight).
My father died when I was 18. Not that I blame her, but my mom fell asleep at the wheel while my dad was sleeping in shotgun. He was thrown from the vehicle and killed. Distraught, I stopped talking to my absolutely "perfect for me" girlfriend and my mother.
Now I'm 25 years old, out of work and live with my mother and step father. Everyday I wake up and wonder what the fuck I'm going to do for the rest of my life, or what the bullshit American standard of living is these days. Because of my lack of interest in regularity, I refuse to work at any retail store or swindle some idiot into buying an overpriced piece of equipment whether it be a car or a fucking copy machine. Bottom line: I made a promise to myself that I would not work to live and be miserable for the rest of my life.
When I was 13, my dad bought me a guitar for Christmas. Him being a drummer, maybe he felt music was in our blood. However, I didn't get into the guitar until 17 thanks to a horrible defect called rap music.
Since then, I have developed a love for music, mainly metal, and decided that's what interests me most. That doesn't tend to go over well with my family or my friends even though I gleam with musical confidence. Yet, everyone was so happy with me(American standard) 2 years ago when I was making 17 dollars an hour slinging concrete for a non-union company that refused to upgrade its technology since 1986. It was the toughest job I have ever had but I worked with friends which made it bearable.
At 3 different times in my life, I attended college. My hatred for high school rolled over into a hatred for college when I realized they were basically one and the same. Besides, I'm not social enough for that kind of action. Don't get me wrong, I have some of the best friends money can't buy but people, in my opinion, today have lost the code of chivalry and honor. Men think with their dicks and women fuck for money. As cynical as this sounds, I believe it to be true.
At 19, I became a Christian, or at least I thought I did. After 2 years of that nonsense, I started researching religion and science. Realizing that a majority of the Christian bible was plagiarized from ancient Jewish and Mesopotamian/Sumerian stories, I quickly lost faith and started to become more Jewish than anything(believing in "a" God rather than "the" God and His son). Today my belief system is a complex structure teetering on the brink of total annihilation. However, I have to believe in an Intelligent Designer due to the fact that our universe is too goddamn orderly.
They say God is supreme truth. Well I know of 1 truth:
No one on the face of this entire planet can tell you what God is because they know as much as you or I know, which is we know absolutely nothing.
So don't let people try to sell you the idea of Hell because they don't know a fucking thing, but if you decide to leave this shitbox world, I would suggest you leave with a sound mind or it might project you into darkness.
Die happy and thanks for reading.
|01 Nov 2007||just another soul lost in space||I'm lost..
I shall bid thee farewell, for I do hope I will be lost no more..
Let me leave, forget about me.. I have no wish to stay alive, not in body, nor in memory..
|31 Oct 2007||WhoHasToKnow||I've been feeling suicidal for the last 15 years and I'm 21 now. I always thought that maybe I'd grow out of it but it hasn't happened lately. I think this forum is interesting because I read all the post s from the younger people and their reasons for wanting out are interesting. They remind me a lot of myself. My life really isn't THAT bad. I have a wonderful family and even though my father died years ago, my mother is good to me and supportive of my goals. When I look in the mirror, I know I'm not the prettiest girl but I know I look alright. I'm not rich but I'm not really poor either. I have enough money in my account to just buy what I need and not have to worry.
I just have this problem, I feel impossible to please. I feel like the way a lot of us did when we were in middle school- wanting to be perfect in every single way. I wanted to be the smartest, the prettiest, the most popular and the years keep passing by and I still feel this way. I'm single but this doesn't bother me that much, what does bother me is that nobody good seems to show interest in me, but that's not enough to kill myself so whatever, shouldn't get off topic here.
Anyway I want to go out because I can't seem to love me. I know lots of people love me and I dread how they are going to feel when I finally do it. That was really the only thing that ever stopped me before, also the failure/ fear of it. I think I might actually make my departure this time. I found the perfect place and I may do it when it snows- I've always had this fantasy about dying during a snowstorm for some reason, it's strange I know. I doubt I actually will, there's always that glimmer of hope I remember from when I was a child, that this will all go away and I'll be a happy adult; but realisticaly why would it go away? It hasn't yet and it's been fifteen years.
Anyway sorry about the narritive, I just stumbled across this page and decided to post my little story too. I'm almost afraid to share but whatever. Good luck everyone.
|31 Oct 2007||Toni||To the 13-year-old that wants to kill him/her-self: DON'T!!! I felt that way for years. I grew up believing that no-one loved me, and that I was better off dead. I'm 27 now, and I still look at suicide pages to see if anyone thinks I'll still go to heaven if I commit suicide. I've never been picked as anyone's favorite person or BFF, but I'm sure you have a best friend, which is more than some people have. Sure, your mom seems uncaring, but I think she feels that if she ignores it, it'll stop you from thinking about it, or wanting to carry it out. That doesn't mean she doesn't love you, she's just in denial. Baby, you've got your whole life ahead of you, and you'll still meet so many people who'll get to know you and love you just as you are, so, please, don't give up on life yet till you've experienced all that is coming to you. What I think you should do now is try to get to know and love yourself, cos no one will love you if you don't love or respect yourself first. Please try.|