|Reading these suicide pages you will find people seeking help and people offering their help. Some witness about suicide from real life experience, others who play along with me would pretend it's a children's game. Some make sick and cruel jokes about it, and angry people blame me for even mentioning the subject. You might also want to read my favourite answers. If you want your answer to be included here, fill in the form.|
What is the best way to kill yourself when you're under 13?
Quelle est la meilleure forme de suicide pour les moins de 13 ans?
|29 Nov 2008||Marie-Aimee||When i wrote my first answer i was fooling around and I had not red others people answer. Now I realise some people took the question seriously.
I know life sucks at time and i know how it is to be stuck in a hole and not finding a way or a reason to get out of it! But when you feel that way...try to talk to a tree and hug it!!! You can go in a forest where nobody will watch you! The tree will listen and never judge you! I know it sounds totally crazy and lunatic but I can assure you that the tree will give you back something posstive in return of your talk! And when you feel like nothing in life is worth living you have nothing to lose! I guess it's the best aspect of feeling that way!
|28 Nov 2008||Angel||Hi everyone!! (hello mouchette!! I´m back)
My name is Angel and I would like to start by telling all of you who read this that I am not a stranger to suicidal thinking and planing, I´ve been a few steps from trying it myself quite a few times, and I am well acquainted with pain as are most of you that write here, I am not going to preach to you about leaving your pain to god or any such things, I don´t believe in any of that, What I am going to do is something much harder and much more beneficial, If any will like to come along for the ride go ahead, it´s a painful road but there is light at the end, so here it goes: This will be called the truth circle, and here is how it will work: all of us suicidals are ind pain, and that´s what we express in blogs like this, but we never fully identify or commit to the nature and truth of our pain, we keep it inside, using to silence it any painkillers we have at hand, from t.v.,lies, and videogames to drugs and sex, until it grows so much that we can use only the final painkiller: Death. What I will do here is shove it out of my heart and putting it here for all to hear, my deepest darkest pains, to the world, I shall hide them no longer, nor will I take ownership of them, as we do when we hide our pain from the world as if it were a dirty secret, I will relase it and so I will be released from its burden, I will acknoledge it and so will I be able to acknloedge the truth about my life I will give it back to the world and thus will be given back full ownership of my life, Here´s why: when we hide our pain as shame or guilt (most of the times it´s not really our fault) it consumes our energy and spirit to shield it from the world and ourselves, it grows like a parasite while our life energy is diverted to numb us from it, no wonder we feel tired and without any desire to go on, you see pain unconfessed or unacknoleged fully is the basis of our fear, shame or guilt which are the equivalents of high tension wires thath direct OUR OWN ENERGY back to us to hurt us, to punish us, to acknoledge our pain fully will release all taht energy that goes to fuel your shields from reality, and numb your emotions, that energy that fuels shame, guilt and fear and leaves no power for love, hapiness and hope, so i will write my pain story (will skip the hapiness), well enough talk (deep breath) here goes my pain:
I am the first born of a very dominating, verbaly abusive and deep down coward of a father and a submissive, hurt, guiltfilled mother (she was a nun but quit), which greatly affected my development, my father while a dominating man is at heart very insecure, his best way to feel confident is to make other people feel like crap, only he doesn´t do it openly, but slyly (thats what made it so hard to undesrtand and fight) he would always tell yopu how you are wrong, lost or incompetent in subtle way that made you think that he said it because he expected more from you and you have disaapointed him, no achiement was enough for him ,and heloves doubt confusion and failure, becuase then he can advise you, show you how great he is and how much better than you, he comes alive during such and ocations and always brings them up to remind you that whatever you do, youre still blow him, my mother would inmpart on me the strictest selfsacrificial selfdenying beliefs since i was four, some of my ealiest memories were of her telling me that girls were no good, and I should only have a girlfriend when I was eithteen, that I should always be a very good boy, turn the other cheek and play nice, so it was that in elementary school I became evry shy and insecure, I loved praise for being a good boy and always set out to please everybody with my selfrighteousness, when girls wanted to be mi gfs, my mother would tell me that they were just making fun of me, so i grew weary of them, I also like my parents became very ashamed of my naked body (which was completely lean and athletic, yes even at an early age) and was terrified of being seen, to the extent that in summer camps i would only bathe late at night or I would even bathe in my underwear, I didn´t feel interested in music or girls becuase I thought that thigs of that kind were sinnful and inmature, when ever I was in fights (a more or less common ocurrence in elementary school)I was reprimanded and I was terrified beacuse they told me that I could hurt other peoples internal organs and they would die (maybe if I had scalpels instead of hands, but how was I to know), I learned that the way to love was to excel in everything, to be an immaculate boy, and to always love poeple, If they hurt me I has to learn to love them harder. So went elementary school for me. Then came junior high, which was a complete nightmare, from the very begining I was picked upon by a gang of boys, humiliated regularly, and beaten often, when i came to my dad asking him to teach me to fight, he laughed at me and told me that people don´t solve problems that way and that I was way off base, the worst for me was when they broke or stole my things, by then I felt that it didn´t matter what they did to me but my things were more important, I had a few friends but most of whom would join the verbal abuse and ostracizing when the time came, I was failing in my studies, and one time broke up crying in the bathroom when it became to much, going there was a torture, but it dint occur to me to go to another school, I thought that I wouldm´t let them decide where I got my education, I grew a lot of pimples and I dind´t have a single female friend (I wanted one but never spoke to them, duh) I was to ashamed to talk to girls bucauase of what I had become,I worked my hardest to hide everything form my family beacuse I felt it would only dissapoint them further, my situation only got worse until I started playing football in the same team as some of the bullies and I learned that I could take them physically, but even if they respected me I was still to afraid to fight them, even I knew I could kick their ass in the football area, the physical bullying receded considerably but the osytracizing was only a little better, this was the time when I started theraphy with a useless shrink who didnt have the nerve to push me to give him answers, this is the time when I started daydreaming and trying to hide who I was, I became convinced that I was completely rotten and the better I learned to not be me the better I would do.
Then came highschool, I fared considerably better, but I became unable to hold a conversation becuase I was worried of what I should say to get pople to like me and to hide who I truly was and my dark past, I lied and got very painfully cuaght once, a shame that lasted for years. I was stilled picked on some but mostly verbaly and not to my face as I was a big strong boy, who was renowned for my physique, my acne was worse than ever though it now covered my whole face, I feel very conscious of it, I had my first gf a very pretty girl who everyone liked (this happened often in highschool for me) but I dumped them fats lest they find out that I was scum, I was so consumed with fear and anxious for acceptance that my whole body moved rigdly and seemingly against some will, I was an akward nevous kid, but thanks to some friends I became happier and more extroveretd and quite popular by then end of highschool though I was still like the batman villian two face: likeable on one side, laughed at on the other. So I learned that I could be loved by being funny and being very physicaly atractive.
On came College, I was unable to make a decition so I studied was my father wanted, but dropped it when the social aspect got very nasty (nobody picked on me but nobody liked me either, no matter how har i tried, I even became a lapdog for them It wouldn't work) my fear of girls was better, but I still felt akward inside as though I had to get them before they discovered who I really was, I tried all the harder to hide the truth from everyone including myself. I finally dropped the career, but then took my fathers advice again (great move angel!! on to more pain) the university was bittersweet I got very good looking girls in love with me but not much came out of it because by then I by then I was convinced that nobody could like me, I even talked them out of it, hate and shame were the only things that I knew and expected in my world so I pushed anything else out, most of the group were useless like me, but they liked themselves better, even if they had less reasons, I got very good grades and got along with some excellent friends. Teasing and disapproval were paramount to me I was always on the lookout to what other people thought of me, this is when I baceme to toy with the idea of suicide, and always happy to accommodate others instead of myself, this grew into verbal abuse that I deflected by being even more of a lapdog (because it had worked really well in the past?, grow a brain man).
Then I graduated and went to work, I was terrified of any leadership and responsibility even though people had great faith in me, I quit often, mostly when I could, t please everybody, this when on for some years, always trying to live to everybodys standard, always selling my soul for a little afection.
Hell even when I had sex I was thinking: am I doing it right? of couse I wasn´t I wasn´t there really.then I came to think about suicide almost every day, everytime something went wrong or somebody didn´t like me,good thing I didnt have a gun nearby.
So there it is my dirty laundry up for the world, I feel a lot better, thank you for bearing with me I know it was a long read, I am now a lot better and I am currently trying my best to turn my life around it´s tremendous work and I am lacking in faith, but still trying not to allow pain to hold me, please notice that in my life most of my pain came when I hel myself to others standards this is crucial and if anybody wants to talk about it please email me, I really can help you out, if anybody is move by my story then tell me about it I need all the faith and support I can get to turn around, I you want to do the circle of truth too, go ahead, Have courage, remeber either you won your pain or it owns you. If you kill yourself who do you think is master?, I am not trying to talk you out of committing suicide, it´s your decision, who can judge when somebody´s has had more than they can take?, just please make sure it´s your own standards that hurt you and not others like t.v., parents, girlfriends/boyfriends, bullying, etc., talk to everybody, do whatever you can first (you can always kill yourself later, if so you choose), I wil be happy to help you if I can. and remember please let me know if you decide to do your circle of truth.
|28 Nov 2008||joesph willgardi||best way to kill ur self when ur a minor is to believe it or not is to go to a busy place like a bus terminal/train staion and jump infront of a big vehical best to do while doped up on some kind. have not tried it myself but have contemplated it guns too messy/chance u live. hanging someone could discover u b4 u r dead. straight taking pills same as hanging. all else fail go to amusement park and purposly stand up slash put piano wire on ur neck with a small hook and toss it to sever ur head makes it look like murder in other words one last laugh at the cruel world|
|28 Nov 2008||If you're thinking about suicide, please reach out for help. I definitely encourage you to talk with someone you can trust (a parent, pastor, school counselor, psychiatrist) about what you're feeling. It is so helpful when someone else can help you carry the weight of your pain and offer you a fresh perspective on things.
I don't have all the answers, but I do know one thing... you have value. You matter.
Here is a number that can help. You can call them 24 hours a day, 7 days a week.
UK Suicide Crisis Helpline: 08457 909090
US Suicide Crisis Helpline: 1-800-273-TALK (8255)
You might appreciate this eye-opengin site about God:
|27 Nov 2008||Joseph||My depression had first flared up when I was 9. I started smoking pot when I was 13. Attempted suicide the first time at 13. And started heroin not long after. I would go on to attempt suicide over a dozen more times in just the next year.
One time I had set a date. I stockpiled supplies. I waited for a day when nobody would be around to stop me. I was set on making sure that this time around I didnt wake up.
I shot up a speedball to raise my pulse and lower my heartrate (a lethal combination on its own), downed a leftover vial of perscription anti-depressants (I thought it would be ironic that the thing that was supposed to help keep me alive had helped kill me, Im artistic like that) and cut vertically from the inside of my elbow down to my wrist on each arm.
There is no reason for me to be alive right now. But almost five years after my first try Im still here. Anyone thats looking for help or just trying to find someone capable of responding during conversation, email me, YM jbrett526. Im not in a position to judge. But I am in a good one to talk.
|26 Nov 2008||Marie-Aimee||Pretend to be a flying superhero, and jump off a building!|
|26 Nov 2008||Satan's Jesus||Suicide by cop! Steal your moms minivan and and your dads gun, do a couple of drive-bys to get cops attention.Then go on a high speed chase then abruptly stop in middle of street step out of vehicle and point your gun at a officers face. They will unload theyre clips on ya, that should work!|
|26 Nov 2008||Brittany!!||PEOPLE JUST PRAY THAT JESUS WILL HELP U AND HE WILL!ALL THAT ARE TELLIN THESE KIDS TO KILL THEMSELVES IS HORRIBLE!!NO ONE NEEDS TO DO THAT!JUST PRAY AND MAKE SURE U BELIEVE IN OUR LORD AND SAVIOR!HE DIED FOR US!WE SHOULD LIVE FOR HIM!IVE DELT WITH SO MUCH AND ITS BEEN HORRIBLE BUT EVERYTIME I PRAY THINGS SEEM TO GET BETTER!OKAY!!!DONT KILL YOUSELVES!THATS NOT THE SOLUTION!|
|25 Nov 2008||Kuborion||You know what's funny?
I can think of many things that are worth dying for.
But only a few worth living for...
|24 Nov 2008||.....||Take a lego and shove it down your mouth? -sigh- i dunno see life is all pain, i feel like nobody understand me, yes everyone says taht but in this world i m truly alone, i put up fake smiles for my friends and act normal but deep down i m sad, i m just here ranting, i dont hve a gun so i dunno how to kill myself so i came on this website lookin for a better way then stragglin myself bc thats painful and torture..... its easier to end a life then go through with it b4 i think of doin any stupid after this msg i jus twant to type dat i hate my parents especially my mom, funny how i would type all this on a random site and i wouldnt tell how i feel to any1, o ya i forgot there is no one... bb|
|24 Nov 2008||brionygirl15||Where do I begin? Okay, well I'm 15 now and I was diagnosed with Bipolar Affective Disorder when I was 13. Speaking of supportive and caring parents, i went to a psychologist and she prescribed zoloft. my dad however, thought I was making it up and told me to stop taking it. My mum thinks I still am. My parents split when I was eleven so they make separate decisions now. so my dads saying stop and my mums saying keep going. I'm not close to both of them anymore. After a while my parents had to move to different countries for work and my sisters I live alone together without guardians. My eldest is 18 but barely a parent to me. Before my mum left she assigned her sister to take care of us. She had already signs of mental illness and yet they ignored it. One night she left in the middle of the night saying she had to go somewhere. She being the adult...we had to listen to her. So we let her go. The next day she didn't come home. After that day, we got a call from the hospital that our aunt killed herself in our school church. We went to the hospital (she survived it) and there was my mum's other sisters blaming me and my sisters that our aunt tried to kill herself. They said we should of stopped her. She was a thirty year old woman and we were 12, 15 and 16. We couldn't tell her what to do. She was suppose to take care of us not the kids to take care of the grown up. Later, we found she had schizophrenia and my mum's sister never apologized for pointing at the wrong people. I was very close to my Aunt. We used to talk a lot and then we didn't and she began to show signs of sickness. After, I felt horrible. My parents shut us out. My eldest sister even went to a 50 year old man who was a complete stranger for comfort. My sisters each found a way to console themselves but I still felt I couldn't bring myself up. From there, I packed on weight, skipped school, lie in bed all day, cry, and constantly wanted to kill myself... I still do. it also didn't help when I found that my parents wanted two children and I was an accident. I feel like they never wanted me and it explained their treatment towards me. To prove their neglect, I was sexually abused by my first cousin, My dad's brother's son, when I was only 6 or 7. I tried to hold on but I couldnt and still cant cope. I feel totally alone. I tried to take excess of pills that i don't need. I tried to cut my arms. I even prayed to (god) to just take me in my sleep but no, i woke up every day still feeling like crap. This year, my father told me frankly "you're fat and I don't like you" he calls me piggy and snorts at me. Recently, I tried to throw up or become bulimic. Food is a comfort to me. It makes me feel less empty than I really feel. The first time I threw up purposely, I first thought about the famines and the hungry people in Africa. so I started to cry wondering why I wasn't grateful for what I have. Then I just couldn't take it and ran back to throw up. I hate it when people say im making it up and asking for attention. why? do you think I really want to be this unhappy? Whats worse is that my parents promise me a lot of things? And after all the broken promises Im still so stupid to believe that this promise is different. When I think of what they did, I want to hurt them. I used to want to hurt them by hurting me but i realized they don't care about me so they wont get hurt. Before they split, my parents were like my friends parents. They spanked me but I accepted it us something important for me to learn but now, it's different. I think of it like this...when they split, they died and now, i'm an orphan. To this day, they are dead to me. I have no family. I have no friends. No one can look at me and see me. they don't let you express yourself. I was a very affectionate child. When I was a child, I loved hugging people, comforting people when they were sad. but as I became I a teenager, I realised I was abused big time. I comforted people but they didn't give it back to me and yet I kept doing it until no love was left. I tried to love people but they push me away. I suppose they know they've used me all up and now I'm worthless. though this seems like a curse, I 've gotten to be understanding. I understand criminals, rapists, and murderers. They were deprived from expressing themselves and no one saw them but when they commited the crimes, thats when they were heard. People looked at them but it's too late because its for the wrong reason. It's odd isn't it how parents do everything they can to keep us safe from criminals yet they don't notice that they are creating them. I cant tell you you should kill urselves because my conscience wont allow it but I can't tell you to stay either because I'd be a hypocrite. Thats your choice. All im hoping for is someone who will see me and if they feel like I do that I can see them too. I feel alone but also there something wrong with that because there are a million other people feeling this with you though you don't know them and though you may never meet them, they are with you. I can't tell you what will happen to me but you can reply to this and we can go through it together.|
|23 Nov 2008||Bria||I hate my life... not that this is something new here... but its the truth... I hate what I am and who ive become.... nothing is right anymore... I miss my old friends... I love one to death and Im too scared to let the other one know that I am over her... yes I am bi but my parents are anti-gay so its hard around them.... they hate me... im bulemic... I cut...not as much as I used to... but there is this one guy....his name is Cam... he's sweet and he's helped me out when I feel dead... but lately he's been gone...just so far away....he doesn't say much anymore but assures me he's always there for me... I am too scared to call him because I don't know what is going through his head and that's a problem with me... im over analytical, over reactive and EXTREMELY paranoid... I think I love him... I'm not sure if this is the truth or if it's just me over reacting like normal... but ever since I started talking to him, I feel like there is something different about him... but again... I'm too scared to tell him this... I don't want to scare him... I don't want him to leave me completely... even though we're not dating... I want to date him... but he lives over 1,000 miles away... mostly I'm scared of what I will do to myself... part of me wants to kill myself SOOOOO badly... I can't stand the nights when I'm alone curled up into a little ball sobbing...it's like a battle going on in my head "cut....it will make you feel better....cut....its the only way" and "NO NO NO NO NO NO!!!! I DON'T NEED IT!!! I DON'T NEED IT!! I HAVE PEOPLE WHO CARE ABOUT ME!!! I DON'T NEED IT!!!" then.... there's the other side of me that wants to live... to prove everyone wrong that I can live... that there IS something for me... mostly right now, I am living for Cam and my best friend, Halyn... if they both left my life right now, I know I would kill myself, there would be nothing left... I have dreams of becoming famous, an actress on Broadway, a famous novelist, going on tour with ppl like Dashboard Confessional, Sonny Moore and Alesana... but without Cam and Halyn I would be nothing and my dreams would be meaningless... I am just waiting for my purpose... if it doesn't show up soon, and I mean REALLY soon... hello razor blades and exsanguination, goodbye pain and suffering...|
|23 Nov 2008||naomi||well i fell like i really cant talk to anyone so i guess i can write to you im 15 and i started to have these thought of suiside about 2 years ago when i get mad or something happens i just want to slit my wrist no one really knows that im depression they dont seem to care well sometimes i ask god to take my life away before i go to bed but then when i wake up for somereason im thankful taht he dint so this is for the people who feel like just giving up there is always another pririty that commiting suicide life is to golden|
|22 Nov 2008||Kuborion||Armies have conquered
And fallen in the end
Kingdoms have risen
Then buried by sand
The Earth is our mother
She gives and she takes
She puts us to sleep
In her light we'll awake
We'll all be forgotten
There's no endless fame
But everything we do
It's never in vain
We're part of a story, part of a tale
We're all on this journey
No one is to stay
Where ever it's going
What is the way?
Forests and deserts
Rivers, blue seas
Mountains and valleys
Nothing here stays
While we think we witness
We are part of the scene
This never-ending story
Where will it lead to?
The earth is our mother
She gives and she takes
But she's also a part
A part of the tale
We're part of a story, part of a tale
We're all on this journey
No one's to stay
Oh where is it going?
What is the way?
We're part of a story, part of a tale
Sometimes beautiful and sometimes insane
No one remembers how it began
|22 Nov 2008||Z|
|22 Nov 2008||Dakota||I have been through alot since the summer. Every thing about me has changed. I have fallen in love with the most beautifulest girl in the world. I love the way I can hold her at night and hold her hand. She is always happy, atleast when i am around. I have never been so happy, the only problem is I am still suicidal and she is always trying to help me stop cutting myself and breaking my bones. I was tempted to jump in front of the car, but she was there to stop me from doing it. I have finally found the one i want to be with for the rest of my life. See i am going going to go into the army as soon as i graduate highschool. I dont want to her hurt her, but i know that its for her own good and i can get myself killed over there when i go to war because it would be so much easier to let her go when i leave instead of making her live through tragedy. I LOVE HER with all of my heart just dont know where to begin a new life with her.|
|22 Nov 2008||Sherryl||I am not 13 but an adult that is even a gramma. I am seriously thinking of committing suicide but cant figure out how to do it without chickening out....and what is going to happen to my body afterwards? I was working at a place for about a year and it was a husband and wife place. I got involved with the husband and we had what I would call a "forced affair" (he wouldnt take no for an answer sometimes..even in the office!) Well, because of that, I started taking money (paying myself extra paychecks through ADP, paying my electric bills through online banking with their info) and the wife found out. Needless to say, I got caught by the wife and got fired. Now she is trying to collect almost 10,000 and threatening to go to the police. I have no job, no money, no family, just lost my car, getting ready to lose my house, so what do I have left???? I am not going to jail..I would rather die. I have emailed the
husband" asking for his help, but he just ignores me.
I just want to make sure I am cremated and I would like my ashes to be spread on my parents grave up in Indiana ( I am in Florida) but how do I make sure that will happen?????
|21 Nov 2008||John Doe||I am a high school boy. i am a nerd, have pletny of normal friends, get bullied by football players (these kids are rich so the admin and faculty let them be so their parents don't get mad) and am one of those kids that is completely anti drug/anti underage drinking. My problem is that I am unsure about my sexuality. My family is against gay people and doesn't understand what is happening to me, so I can't talk to them. I have tried twice, but it doesn't work and gets worse. My one and only best friend, my true best friend who I somewhat vent to is gay (its not like i am going out with him0. I have contemplated suicide for several months and have planned three plots. I'm not very religous. I won't go in for help, or talk to somebody due to the shame that I will feel. I don't know what to do.|
|21 Nov 2008||ema||if you live for nothing what is the point of living??|
|21 Nov 2008||ema||im not going to say my life totally sux i have a few friends lifes not horrible right now but i still cant escape this hell its killing me i cant shut my head up sombody get me through this nightmare pleazzeeeee i cant thinkkkk these voices r tellin me to do things i dont want toooo hellllpppp meeeeeeeeee if u would like to help email me email@example.com|