|Reading these suicide pages you will find people seeking help and people offering their help. Some witness about suicide from real life experience, others who play along with me would pretend it's a children's game. Some make sick and cruel jokes about it, and angry people blame me for even mentioning the subject. You might also want to read my favourite answers. If you want your answer to be included here, fill in the form.|
What is the best way to kill yourself when you're under 13?
Quelle est la meilleure forme de suicide pour les moins de 13 ans?
|15 Sep 2009||JAMES||I REALLY WANT TO DIE BUT IM SUCH A FU$KING COWARD THAT I WONT BECAUSE OF THE LITTLE BIT OF PAIN THAT MIGHT COME WITH IT.IF IT COULD BE PAINLESS SOMEHOW I WOULD DO IT.I HATE EVERYTHING ANYMORE.I HATE MYSELF.I HATE MY FAMILY AND MY FRIENDS.I CAN NEVER BE AS SUCCESSFUL AS MY BROTHER WHO BYE THE WAY IS 2 YEARS YOUNGER.HIS ASS IS AT NC STATE ABOUT TO GRADUATE AND IM THE LITTLE FUCK UP RETARD AT HOME WHO WILL NEVER AMOUNT TO ANYTHING OR SO MY PARENTS KEEP TELLING ME.FUCK GOD ! I DIDNT ASK TO BE BORN.I DONT CARE IF I GO TO HELL.IM KINDA LOOKING FORWARD TO IT TO BE HONEST.I THINK A CHANGE OF SCENERY WOULD DO ME GOOD.IF GOD EVER GAVE A FLYING FUCK ABOUT ME LIKE MY HYPOCRITE BITCH OF A MOTHER SAYS HE WOULD TAKE ME OUT OF THIS WORLD|
|14 Sep 2009||Enzyme||Dear Velveeta Death Rabbits
Enzyme, chortling mutant of the undergrowth, is back. Todays post is in praise of warm french-fries, mango-chutney dipping sauce, and evil. Im going to reach my withered hand out towards you, through the computer screen. If you pry open, and/or chew off my fingers at the knuckle, youll find a gift. A present. For you. Yes, you. An ornate silver box
and inside? An enchanted set of World War 1 aviator goggles. They should fit, I measured your skull last night while you slept. Upon adorning the twin periscopes, activate the mechanism on the nose bridge. There! Now notice and observe
all around you
what was there before
and what youve never seen. The clandestine chamber reveals itself. With these goggles you can see the world as you wish it was. A new skin of time and space painfully sutured onto this insolent reality.
Oh frabjous day! Callooh! Callay! The lifeless office temps slumming their way to work are leering jackals in pill-box hats! Billie Holiday has risen from the dead as an oscillating, gossamer specter! She whistles and coos her beaming siren call God Bless the Child. Breath out now, little rabbit. You are safe. Wrapped in my poison arms. Drink this mulled apple cider. Turn over the record. Know that I love you unconditionally. Know that.
Now turn off the goggles. You dont want to waste the batteries. Use them whenever you feel like a bad penny. Like a tin bucket collecting rain water. Like a set of false teeth.
P.S. Notes from The Underground you are at home with me, and have a lovely lexicon.
|13 Sep 2009||Matt Veron||Choose life I am a former witness to my best friend killing himself with a 12 gauge... over a girl.. I want those who are seeking advise. that i am a 29yr Father of a 4yr old and I've had my struggles but if you refuse my request to help I will seek litigation proceedings against you. just let me help! Suicide is NOT A FUCKING JOKE KID!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!|
|13 Sep 2009||LM||I'm sick of the phoneys. The lies, deceptions, the FAKES. Pretending. You don't CARE, so make this easier for me. Stop trying to hold on because I know you find me revolting.|
|13 Sep 2009||Enzyme.
As, I read through you're writings, I can't help but feel at home. You embody something that I've grown up besides, a feeling possibly, that has always been nameless. I feel almost as though you are the modern 'Underground man', from Dostoevskii's 'Notes from the Underground'. A disfigured voice for a small and subtle existence...
I would go on, but my lexicon bothers me these days. So, I stay brief. Goodnight.
|12 Sep 2009|| The feeling is neither icy nor hot. Yet there is still no inbetween. Just this bland pulse that fixates in my body at any given time of the day.
|11 Sep 2009||jacklyn||How can you persuade this? I'm revolted. I think there should be something like a medium to talk about the thoughts about it, but this, this is, awful. I don't even know how it can be legal. I hope you are making money off of it you sick people. Good for you, take advantage of people's pain. And there should be something helping these people...., I mean.. REALLY??? This is sick. I Don't get it, I feel so sorry for you all. Makes me so sad. Your website will make it seem ok to think this way, are you insane?? I want to take all of you and do something soothing or helpful, and I think you website makers should be ashamed of yourselves. Call it something else, help people for godsakes.|
|11 Sep 2009||Anonymous||http://www.myspace.com/whoamibarcelona
Kill you thinking in Experiment 2.0
|11 Sep 2009||Lennie Melvin||Isn't this perfectly lovely?
The simplest thing was just to fall in front of the train. Like falling into bed at the end of a very long, very disappointing day.
I need to start planning.
Mouchette... Mouchette. You've crept into my life. I can feel you running around under my skin.
As much for me as for you : hang on. Don't let go just yet. Something big is coming. There comes a storm, be sure not to miss it. Hold on.
|11 Sep 2009||cindy||the best way to kill urself is to try an instant death.like try any poison which kills you in seconds. this is the best way in which you dont even feel the pain ofdeath. try.|
|10 Sep 2009||Helen||kill the evil inside of you. ask Jesus Christ to fill you with hope and love. All other will fail you, parents, teachers, friends, family, even the family pet. But Christ if you let him fill you with hope will save you, maybe not all things will be great or even good, but you will have a better chance at living|
|10 Sep 2009||Priest of Cats||Not by rough rope, thats for sure, as it can chaff the neck. Pricy silk rope is softer and hemp rope is smoke-able if you fail. But dangling limply, is out of fashion, trust me on this. I would suggest against poison, as it can lead to stomach upset and exact doses can be research and math you dont want at a time like this. Youre considering your life options, not trying to vomit and endure any more than you are now. I'm personally opposed to jumping off a bridge, as it can lead to bruising, by of all things, water. Have you ever been bruised by water before? Why start now? Its unnatural, even for weirdly cool Gothy people. Even your foolishly unsupportive family/peers never suggested you let water bruise you. Drink water, dont let it hurt you. The lead pipe is cheap but in high in toxic lead for some reason and that can cause cancer. Why society has a lead pipes as all is a source of wonder. I also advise against guns as they can be both expensive and deafening in the small, lonely rooms we all find ourselves when very upset. Heavy, elegant, candlestick holders are a classy choice, but most people seldom have one either handy when needed. In fact, the last nice candlestick I saw was dancing around in Disneys Beauty and the Beast. Knives are messy and problematic. Bleeding out takes time and thats a problem because the longer you have to reflect that your sloooowly dying the more it sounds wretched. You dont want you last thought to be oops. Definitely, family, friends, lovers and even ex-lovers can be stupid; in not valuing your feelings and accepting you as the extraordinary & affectionate person you naturally are. But dont let their deprived and irresponsible decisions rub off on you. You are better than them. Ive been there so I know. Sorry, back to topic, so unless you really enjoy pain, (and then why are you a reading this anyway? :) I caution against knives. A tool, like a drill is better suited for killing others (like unsupportive people maybe? lol) as some 80's slasher movies might infer. A wrench is easy to get but learning to whack yourself in the back of the head "just right" is tricky and may require lots of dizzying practice.
There are other options. Death by orgasm might not be too bad, but screams of wild, dreamy pleasure might alert others who might try to stop you, or even better, join in. Regardless of your sex, stay lubricated; better to end it all in total ecstasy than in raw skin or rug burns. It might take hours or even days, so please plan/shop ahead. Death by triple fudge brownie (or other adored sweet) withdrawal might ever shed a few pounds. But if you live too close to a Ghirardellis Chocolate Factory that might not be workable. In opposition, death by eating too many triple fudge brownies might work. Personally, I spent years deciding between these three choices. They just sound better quality somehow.
Time will change how you think, feel and look. It can be MUCH better later in life even after a difficult start. Ending yourself is like ripping all your unscratched lottery tickets (millions) in half without even scratching them off. Living is like, every day and sometime every moment, you get a new ticket to scratch off. Dont let the bad draws get you down because there are winners, and bigger winners, in that pile too. The longer you play the game of life the more and better people you meet. Youll have better friends, better jobs, and much better lovers. Life is not endless roses, but its not endless pain either. Hang in there, it gets better in time. Now, where that power drill Bahaha
|10 Sep 2009||waiting4death||take 2 whole packets of paracetamol, tie a plastic bag around your head eventually u will die peacefully!!! just like falling asleep!!!! just wish i was strong enough to do it myself|
|09 Sep 2009||zack m.||hang|
|09 Sep 2009||Enzyme||Salutations my lovely death rabbits. Enzyme here with a brief rumination about suicide. Yes indeed. While standing in the shower fantasizing about slitting my throat with a box-cutter, I had a sudden revelation. The reasons we hari-kari vary from person to person, but I believe there is a common psychological thread that weaves all self-inflicted murder together. True, there are the folks who blow their brains out to end some physical suffering or because they weary of enduring old age. The vast majority, however, are usually people that have reached some nightmarish climax of guilt, shame, isolation, terror, heartbreak, frustration or self-loathing. Consider this. As children the first lesson we ever learn is one of punishment and reward. If we do good, our god-like parental units reward us with affection, love, and gum drops. If we do bad, we are punished, sent to our rooms, smacked, or denied love and gum drops. How tragic that this bizarre confluence of crime and success is thrust upon our fresh young minds. Some people learn this lesson far too well. At first the forces of reward and punishment are all external, localized in parents, teachers, and other children. As we age we tend to internalize all figures of authority psychologically. I think its a survival mechanism. If a figure of power or extremity terrifies us we attempt to control the threat by absorbing that person into our own being. Like a clam turning grains of sand into pearls. This isn't necessarily a bad thing. The only trouble is that some of us internalize the wrong authority figures too deeply. Harsh morally austere task masters with zero remorse or compassion. As we grow into adults, these tyrannical voices become indistinguishable from our true inner dialogue of self-preservation. Gradually we mentally absorb large swaths of society, like a carnivorous gelatinous blob. Until we become our own judge, jury, and finally executioner. There is no doubt that we are punishing ourselves when we commit suicide. The ultimate punishment. The Death Penalty. Like that poor girl a few posts back who was going to kill herself if her STD test came back positive for herpes. Such a common, controllable, non-fatal VD. Yet to that poor darling she has to die. She has to punish herself for the crime of sleeping with a boy, for the crime of catching a disease, for the crime of being young. The most ruthless judges imaginable reside in our cerebral cortexes. Our parents eventually stop rewarding and punishing us, and we gradually take over the job with a hysterical zeal. That poor girl is on trial. In her own mind. Suicidal people who struggle with failure in business or romantic ventures never talk about giving up and becoming a vagabond or criminal. It's always about killing one's self. Punishment for their failure to procure a wife, to make enough cash, failure to stay healthy, failure to stay sober, failure to be a good parent, or a good daughter, failure to get happy and successful. The truth is, however, that these internal subconscious judges and jury members are far from objective. Heck, let's face it, they are fascistic Nazi bastards with no goddamn sense of perspective. Imagine that poor girl killing herself over a case of herpes. She's just a young kid doing her best to find love and validation. In moments of clarity all of us with suicidal tendencies can occasionally see how out of touch we really are. What was the crime we committed? Some minor infraction, in all reality. And plus, life is not a gulag unless we make it so. There is no one right way to live or experience existence. Even if you murdered someone. There's always room for redemption and progress. Let's free ourselves of the yoke of perpetual reward and punishment. Expel these false prophets from our brain pans. Let go. Let yourself off the hook. Yes, my lovely undead figure skaters. Yes, indeed.
Song of the Day: "King of Carrot Flowers" by Neutral Milk Hotel
P.S. Melvin, a benediction upon you. Hang in there kid.
Bebop! I'm kind of a world traveler. Not in L.A. now. In the meantime, watch that film tonight and imagine I'm there, eating all your ice cream.
|09 Sep 2009||GOODBYE||IT'S MY BIRTHDAY TODAY AND ALL I WANT IS TO DIE!!!!!!!! WHAT WILL I HAVE? SUICIDE PLEASE.|
|09 Sep 2009||Ryan||I hate my life right now. My best friend of 3 years let's his friends ridicule me. Im 14 years old. People always try to pick fights with me now. He now has a new best friend who wont even let me talk to my best friend of 3 years (connor). Today i had lunch by myself. All the popular kids came up to me today and said "you got alot of friends huh?" having fun by yourself?" i just want to get out of this mess. My dad wont even treat me like a boy and im annoyed with it. Today i got beat up.... by connors friend. Did connor tell him to stop? No. Im officialy known as a baby and a girl now at school. People wont even talk to me. I just want to leave it all and start over again. No one will be nice to me, ive never insulted anyone or hurt theyre feelings.
Connor- why cant you stand up for me? I thought we were friends.
Nate- you dont need to be mean and pick on everyone; be nice.
Michael- either you want to be my friend or you dont. Dont hurt my feelings then later try to start a conversation
derek- stop acting like you rule the school because youre strong.
Abe- just because your connors best friend now doesnt mean in not allowed to talk to him. Please stop telling me to fuck off. Stop making fun of the way i smile and whenever i say something.
Kevin- you were nice last year but now your mean to me. Ive never said a hurtful thing to you.
Jack- thanks for not having a negative attitude about me. Its nice when you talk to me.
Ben- you know i can kick your ass. Stop acting tough against me.
Josie- i like you alot. I know we never really talked but i like you. Youre extremely pretty and youre very nice. I want to ask you to homecoming but i know you dont like me.
Shelby- youre pretty but youre too quick to judge
lauren- it meant alot when i was talking with my friend and you came up to us and told me i should go away and die.
Shannon- youre way too hyper
marko- are we friends?
If you want to contact me:
AIM (AOL): cryinryan2239
|09 Sep 2009||Melvin||I kept seeing the coffin in front of me, I felt I was at the funeral again. Unable to cry freely, and the ridiculous amount of sleeve needed to stem my nose. I was shivering, I was freezing. I tried so hard to breathe... not to cry.
The last few minutes of class dragged. He was talking to me. I opened my mouth to reply but instead began to sob. I ran out and down the corridor sobbing hysterically.
Was I dying? I sank to the floor, sobbing and choking. I thought I was going to be sick. Suicide methods, loved ones, excerpts from my journal, all going around in my head. I called childline but hung up when the man answered.
Later I had a biology class. In biology we were learning about Enzymes and I thought of you.
|09 Sep 2009||Stewie Griffin||Whats sader than sad.
America. They knew they had terrorists lurking about in thier country and did nothing. The terroists flew planes into buildings, and now the government is using that as an excuse to spy on everyone on the internet and international phone calls. Even using "privately operated" "super secret" "companies" to tap your phones because its illeagle for they to "do it".
Ask yourself why do they need to know about everyone. They already know who the terroists are.
Besides America is all washed up anyway. Everything they have is made in China or some other foriegn country. Just a nation of services. yeah.
The Super Rich Americans sold out thier own country man so they could make more money. No industry really. No jobs. economic crash and getting worse.
DID YOU KNOW...
America leads the world in abortion rates, homicide rates, drug traffic, and many other decays of socioty.
America, what a little piece of filth.
|07 Sep 2009||Kim||You are crazy, take this off the computer. This can give kids ideas that killing yourself is a good idea I don't even know how you were to come about putting it site on the computer|