Reading these suicide pages you will find people seeking help and people offering their help. Some witness about suicide from real life experience, others who play along with me would pretend it's a children's game. Some make sick and cruel jokes about it, and angry people blame me for even mentioning the subject. You might also want to read my favourite answers. If you want your answer to be included here, fill in the form.

Date Name/email

Nom/email
What is the best way to kill yourself when you're under 13?

Quelle est la meilleure forme de suicide pour les moins de 13 ans?
28 Jul 2013 maggie keep living and eventually you will just die
15 Mar 2011 Maggie keysha Many people say they understand what we go through but they have no idea. I was sexually abused by my grandfather when i was 9, my family were only concerned about how this hurt them but not me, my grandmother even tried killing me... Ever since my life has been a mess, i started smoking, drinking and having sex, i hated being at home, it made me get more depressed, by the time i turned 15 i got pregnant i really loved my boyfriend a lot, he was always there for me i just felt a lot better with him... after 2 years we started fighting a lot and broke up, that really crushed me because he was not only my boyfriend but my best friend and i thought we could continue being friends coz i really needed him in my life but he started judging me and he hated me for no reason... everytime somethng happens no 1 ever defends me i feel really alone because everythng is always my fault i try to do everythng 2 make people happy but they keep on putting me down i have never been happy in my life, i never asked 2 be born. I hate my life... i wanna die but i feel like i wil make all these people who hate me happy... but again i really want end my life... because all the people i love the most let me down!
01 Mar 2011 maggie garcia Dark out, you still gotta light up.
01 Mar 2011 maggie garcia The times you dont want to wake up
Cause in your sleep its never over when you give up
The sun is always going to rise up
You need to get up, gotta keep your head up
Look at the people all around you
The way you feel is something everybody goes through
Dark out, but you still gotta light up
You need to wake up, gotta keep your face up.
When I feel down, I listen to this song because it keeps my face up.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dtgMSidl1zU
01 Jun 2010 Maggie j.

Do you have an email?
06 Aug 2009 Maggie I don't know what to do. I'm going insane, and all I can do is continue this petty existence. I wish I could gouge my eyes out and fling myself infront of the next incoming truck that speeds down the highway.
29 Jun 2009 maggie You could try jumping in front of a moving vehicle. That's always fun, oh and you could take sleeping pills if that does'nt work. Hope that helps!
01 Sep 2007 brittney....potion girl hi again. its me the one with the good life. im not like the god girl maggie. im real. but also my storys. i had a vision that she...thou princess of stories shal reserect to the knolege...times are diffrent today. a new caracter will rise. and step in. i shal be the junior to help my mother/father from the cast away. wat im sayin is help phil get his mojo back!
17 Jan 2006 The Uncola Very boring site. Everyone has the same problems and no one ever follows through. Well I must say that is a good thing. As far as I know, the only one who ever did kill himslef was Flamer, but that was only symbolically. Not a lot has changed here. There's still the occasional funny thought, like Cobain's pet fish Gossam. Though there have been many painfully unfunny attempts to make someone crack a smile such as the Religious Maggie bits. I personally don't think Lucy Cortina is that funny either, but some do and that is their opinion. The question always lingers on my mind though as to the point of the "Suicide Kit". Will it ever be made? Will it incorporate elements that have been suggested here? And will it actually be sold to preteens?
Of course I know that it is really a bogus piece of work, but its fun to play along sometimes. And from time to time we all see the many who will complain about Mouchette (who has done nothing wrong except email people junk), and others will try to send advice to those who come looking for an ear to their troubles. It is easy to write off these people and call them silly, but that isn't what we should do. They wouldn't talk about suicidal thoughts if they really were dead set (lol "dead set") on killing themselves. They want help, and we shouldn't patronize them for it. And neither should you, Mouchette, let them be patronized.
I like popcorn.
I really must reveal my intentions now. I am only writing this in hopes of making the longest post ever on Mouchette's painfully boring message board. Come on people!!! Some of you really could use to lighten up a little more often and give us some good stuff to read. And for you the suicidals, we don't have to hear how you are depressed over nothing, just tell us how you fell and we'll try to help. we don't need the bland details of you sitting on your bed depressed because the light blew out. If you actually have personal problems that are making you think the way you do then please say them, but if you are just depressed because you can be, spare us the details. Don't get me wrong though. I'm not saying I won't help, I'm just saying you should really keep it to yourself or people will ridicule you and you will feel worse. Please don't be angered by this.
Flamer is probably dead. I think he commited suicide shortly after he was ran off. It would make sense though, after all this was the only place he felt welcome. Religious Maggie should be dead too, because he was a poor comedian that only used offensive material that wasn't funny to anyone. Lucy's not dead I assume, as to the fact that she recently posted I think. Although like I said I don't really like her brand of comedy, someone must like it. Please people, if you are gonna do something funny, think before you post.
Think back to the lessons of Bloodninja.
There is an island somewhere. and on this island is every great musician that died in the past 50 years. Tupac walking beside Frank Sinatra, and Elvis singing with Jimi Hendrix on guitar. Even Cobain's brain is there in a jar (he doesn't talk or play guitar, not like anyone would want him to). Jim Morrison is there, George Harrison, John Lennon, Cliff Burton, and even Johny Cash. Black Michael Jackson has taken solitude there, and so did Biggie. Janis Joplin is there and would be the only woman if not for Mama Cass.
If this is still being read right now, I would like to say thank you for keeping with this instead of reading 2 sentences then assumin I suck. My intention is for the best of people.
Here's a sample from the Reverend: SPERMAL ABUSE
Current mood: optimistic


THOSE FUCKING MICE WON'T TRY TO REVOLT AGAINST ME ANYMORE!!!! THEY WERE SHOWN SOME SWIFT DISCIPLINE AND SHRAPNEL FOR THEIR TROUBLES!!!!! THE REBELION OF THE MICE IS OVER!!!!!


As you can tell, an uprising of mice was vanquished today by our Special Stealth Gunnery 5th Battalion of Radiated Fraternal Police Toads. They fought bravely, and some even died to the mice. As a result today is now declared TOAD SMASH MOUSE day. Also I outlawed spermal abuse today. Spermal abuse, as you may know, is rampant among men (and some women). It occurs whenever a man throws a used tissue away or in the toilet, when he masturbates in the shower as well. Some women are known to clean themselves with disposable tissue as well. This law will make it to where the sperm must be put to good use when dispersed. Whether it fertilizes, is swallowed, used to annoy your roommate, or in a special wine at a party (I love the joke), it must be used properly. The punishment for unabiding by this law is extraction of the genitals. Everyone remember there is an execution tommorrow, tickets are on sale. It will be held at Chink-cho-cho Stadium in Beijing. Have a good day.


Currently reading:
Mein Kampf
By Adolf Hitler

Well I hope that was enjoyable. I also have one from a great Dungeon Master:
This is Trash's list of things not to right a song about. (Because I'm the fucking genius).

1. Fucking a tranny in the ass, or playing dick swords with one's that uncircumsized.

2. baby-raping (Sorry Stephen Lynch, thats a no-no)

3. Beating black people up in the name of progress

4. yeast infections

5. admitting to being behind the Holocaust

6. A threesome with your son and granny (a.k.a. showing son the ropes on ma')

7. Your mama, trains, being drunk, trucks, prison, and rain

8. being raped by aliens and your daddy

9. cheating on you girlfriend

10. Fish

11. Graveyards in the spring

12. Pimpin, hoes, gangstas, and clubs

13. Dungeon Dave of the Outer Rim

14. Disney movies, shows, and other disney things

15. any song with the word horticulture in it

16. killing, maiming, death, Satan, and blood

17. How big you dick is, how small your dick is, how tight your pussy is, or how loose your pussy is (These are to be said in normal conversation not in a song)

18. Cutting yourself

19. being a badass without the evidence to back it up.

20. breakup songs are always a NO!

Here's another list:
And Now, Josh X's List Of Things To Give To A Girl You Used To Like As A Wedding Gift:

1 Your Brains And Skull Fragment Spewed Down The Chapel Aisle Right IN The Middle Of The Ceremony

2 Your Best Wishes- and then bring up memories of the time she gave you crabs (you must do this one in front of her new husband).

3 A Golden Shower

4 The Child you made After A 3 doors down concert.

5 hell.

6 Some Organ From Any Form Of Livestock (preferable the heart)

7 A Free Brake Removal job to the ride that will be used to get to the honeymoon (must be given on the same day as the wedding or the gift willl lose all value)

8 The Husband-to-be's head in a garbage bag

9 an untraceable phone call every day

10 A cake.

There's very little more I can talk about here. I leave it up to Mouchette whether or not to post this, but know this Mouchette, if you don't I will send the same post everyday until you do.
09 Dec 2005 molly hey, ive known about this web site for along time and ive posted here before.
uh, well, im anorexic, and i cut and im still here because of my friends. They kno i want to kill my self and they try to help me as much as i can. and i cry almost every night because i dont want to hurt them because i love them so much. ive carved things into my arms. and my friends are melissa, jill, and codie ...and if it werent for them i deffinetly wouldnt be here. I wish i wazent. and the thing is is if i kill myself. i kno for sure there will be at least 7 more sucides in the next month if i do that. i dont kno how i can go on much longer. i cant make it stop..a guy from my school molested me, my dad yells at me alot, i cant talk to my mom, and i have memories in my head of all this crap. i dont want help ..yet then i do. i want my friends to keep loving me, and i dont want them to be mad. im soo sorry if have ever hurt them. my pain just gets worse as time goez on. im tired of it and i want to go. im punk/goth, and alot of people think im stupid for that. i want to leave but no one will let me, i just want them to stop loving me so i can go but then when i think about that i cry because my friends meen so much to me. i want them to love me for ever. but i dont want them to hurt if i go. im so confuzed on life and everything i just want to make it stop, i want to make my life stop. if someone would like to talk i would love it. its abby_rox_ncis@hotmail.com

i love u all thank you for showing me im not alone with feeling like this.
moll aka maggie
22 Jul 2005 Religious Maggie God will never save you. Why? Because he is too busy playing with my poosy. At least my interpretation of God is. God is inside you all to do with what you please. Take a look and you will find him. Ask and he shall answer.
My God tells me that the Bible is fit to wipe your poosy with and I agree. God also ADORES lesbians so you don't have to worry there. Stop stressing so much, my darlings.
22 Jul 2005 Meg I think the best ways to kill yourself if you're under 13 is
1) over dose, it can be painful, but you should avoid throwing up, that will only save you, the chance of surving this is very likely so it's a waste of time really
2) find your dad's gun and blow your head off, quick, painless and messy
3) good old electricity, electricute yourself in the bathtub while no ones home, make sure you leave a note saying "I figured I'd cook myself for dinner"
4) If you live near a zoo, feed yourself to a bunch of hungry tigers, most likely someone will stop you, and this is painfuk, but so original, at least you're being nice to tigers right? :D
5) Drown yourself, I must admit this is very difficult to do, I've tried it. Just go have a nice relaxing bath, think about all your problems, then do it.
6) Put your head on train tracks and wait for a train. This is painless if you do it right, but there will be a long wait involved, so you may have time to change your mind.
7) common way, hang yourself. You may feel alot of discomfort and some pain at first but it'll only last about 30 seconds then you'll pass out before you have a chance to save yourself.

NOTE: these are all pretty easy ways, I've only tried 3 of them, bought me 3 months in a mental hospital but whatever
24 Jun 2005 Religious Maggie Hi darlings. Sorry I havent been on for a while but God accidentally made a tree levitate and it fell right into my open poosy. It was fun until I realised that he intdended to trap me there. He left me there for a month! He said that he had to do it so that I would'nt tempt him with my glorious poosy anymore, and he could attend to important world matters like helping the starving, stopping tornados and letting Michael Jackson win his trial.
08 May 2005 Artimas Ok whoever used my email and is named aruther can count himself as good as dead now.

Any way Maggie sounds like 'God' has
been keeping you buisy baby. I hope to have more inciteful talks with you.
06 May 2005 Religious Maggie OOOOOOhh Artimas. If you want an update here it is: God has given me a job making bras. I have made fruity bras and eggy bras so far. The pictures are on my facepic page which is linked in my profile. Ive been amusing myself lately by eating 3 course meals off of my boobs and feeding my poosy porridge.
I have also bought some underwear with special zips in so that God can have easy access to my holy hole.

See you later darling!
03 May 2005 Artimas Hello again my dear Religous Maggie thought you had gotten rid of me?? well i am back and i must say you are a very selfish little biatch to take god all to yourself when lots of other needy people out there need him in there lives aswell.....did you miss me hunny because i know you have been on my mind every so often. Been boob sledging lately which is what i found to be quiet stupid actually but whatever turns your buttons. Do you remeber me saying how much i loved it when you faught back well it still turns me on ....you cant let god have you all to himself all the rest of the male populous wants a ride too i know they do it is so obvious by the way they watch you.
hurry up and reply i want to go off at you more.
29 Apr 2005 Religious Maggie Darlings, my poosy has exploded.
11 Apr 2005 Religious Maggie Just to let you all know darlings that I now have a fruity bra and an eggy bra.

See my profile for the fruity bra...
25 Mar 2005 Religious Maggie Darlings, a sad day it is today. At 3pm I will be going to church to mourn the death of Jesus. Everyone in chucrh cries during this service.
Secretly though I'm happy inside, as it means that God has less baggage which means he has more time for me.
24 Mar 2005 Religious Maggie Oh darlings tonight I am going to be doing an Easter service called "The watch" at church. Me and my religious friends all go to church, wearing our sexiest underwear and we look at a wooden cross and pray all night. We don't even go to sleep my darlings. Well why would anyone need to sleep in church. You would think it'd get boring but it means that everyone's attention is on the cross so I can slip away and meet God in the toilets.
God likes to play games and make mugs out of his followers you see. He plays tricks on them like making statues of the Virgin Mary weep. Well, that's what he tells me but I think the real reason she weeps is because I am with God now and not her.

Much more than this....
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