Reading these suicide pages you will find people seeking help and people offering their help. Some witness about suicide from real life experience, others who play along with me would pretend it's a children's game. Some make sick and cruel jokes about it, and angry people blame me for even mentioning the subject. You might also want to read my favourite answers. If you want your answer to be included here, fill in the form.

Date Name/email

Nom/email
What is the best way to kill yourself when you're under 13?

Quelle est la meilleure forme de suicide pour les moins de 13 ans?
21 Sep 2009 Felicia the don't feel so Great  
23 May 2009 M.M. a.k.a.billy the freak the city heaves like the breath in her lungs. people bustle through the streets as the blood surges through her veins. i can feel this all around me... however, i sit alone in her bar. I want to be alone, only me and the bartender.
{hey, did you know i have the power to be anybody? i can go anywhere. yep. i can do anything, any-fucking-way i want to do it. however, tonight I sit alone. i sit in a basement level dive too dark to see the clock on the wall, yet bright enough to see the bar in front of me like a high definition painting in a cheap plastic frame. the pink neon light in the window screamed in its best cursive 'MOUCHETTE' a warm and ambient glow enveloping you like a womb welcoming all to her embrace. however, tonight i sit alone.
the bartender is mouchette and i am only a guest in her place. like me she has the power to be anything, but only in the minds of other people. if you were to ask her who she was, she would say she killed herself at the brink of thirteen and in death had second thoughts. not that she didn't want to kill herself, but wanted to know the best way to do it. now she plays a game and through this game she lives on.
tonight mouchette is a thirty something woman with the type of beauty that says you would like to love her, but wouldn't really be at your best only because you are intimidated by her razor sharp wit and her worldly charm... she has so many friends and you never feel good enough in her company. the intimate encounters are few and far between and you both want more. when you are away she is always in the back of your mind. i know all this and tonight she is only the bartender, why she is in this spittoon of a saloon could only be guessed, but i do know she is here... always here for me.
"mouchette! baby doll, please pour me another" i belted.
"billy, darling, no need to shout; i am right here and there is no one else in the bar" she said in a reprimanding tone", " another vodka and tonic i would bet?"
"right you are. you know me well "i said.
"i know you because you know you, you know me and right now... this is all we know" she replied.
"positively insightful mouchette, I say you inspire me. you are my muse." this i announced with a certain amount of glee, but not really understanding what she said. it sounded good enough.
"billy" she said while fixing my drink. "I am afraid the booze is your muse." she sat the drink down in front of me. she is speaking gobbity gook and suggesting i was an alcoholic. I was outraged.
"mouchette, you... how could you say this? do you want to hurt me? do you want me to feel bad?"
"again billy, this is all we know. I think you must ask yourself that question." she said again putting it back on me.
{what is her angle? what is she getting at? i want her to go with the flow.}
i took the drink in one gulp then slammed the heavy short glass motioning for another drink, nectar of the gods.
" vodka and tonic yes?" she called from across the bar.
"ha!! i would like a whiskey and coke, if you put pepsi in there i will fucking smack you." i said triumphantly. "you are slipping mouchette... maybe you are not my muse maybe this is just a joke."
"the joke is on you billy." she said in a tired voice and made the drink in the same dirty glass.
{and the joke was on me. i hate whiskey. in an attempt to be belligerent i asked for something i didn't want. what is this? do i have control? yes, i have all the control. when i am here i am king and she is the servant. So why do i feel so helpless.}
the neon light from out side the bar shined through my half empty short glass, casting glimmers of light onto the slick bar top. the lights danced across the fine finished wood as i turned the glass between my thumb and index finger. suddenly i felt alone. no longer alone by choice, but alone... just helplessly alone.
"well billy, I'm here" felicia said out of nowhere.
"how did you get here." I asked.
"you let me in silly, what kind of question is that?" was the condescending reply.
now i am simply sick of this shit.
"are you going to fuck with me too felicia!" i shot the whiskey down my throat and the words and fumes came out my mouth like fire.
"i don't know how you got here. i don't know why you keep coming back. i didn't open that fucking door you waltzed in here yourdamnself."
"billy right now you want me here. i found the door and walked through it just like you did. billy, ask yourself these questions and you will find the answers you are looking for". felicia ordered a mineral water and drank while i thought about what she said.
i first came here when i was sixteen it was 1998 ten years passed and now i am twenty six. i found this place when i was contemplating suicide. we all know i'm no strait lacer who tied up his shoes to awalk on the wild side. i never gave anything too much, and got so much in return. she was always here when i needed her. at times she made me feel special, at times she couldn't have made me feel more worthless. I would run away, but only in presence and in the stealth of the night i would visit. the price i pay is her always haunting me, for not a day goes by... not a day goes by. did i want a suicide kit for christmas? not really, i just wanted to show other children how to play with the toy. i am no longer a child, but i still play with this toy. i'll still show to get the max amount fun even if you just watch the other children. something eternal made fameous by the hands of its creator. that's it.
"felicia i come here because, as long as people come here i cannot die... i will live forever. this is the gift she gave me and i tell you, i don't know if i deserve it". just when i thought i was opening up felicia started to laugh a hysterical laugh. then lucy and phil joined in. chris and will snow chime in and it is now a chorus of laughter. joe lee, mackellar, elaine, odd orange, dead inside, just a girl, and many others have the bar quaking with laughter. in spite of myself i start to chuckle as well, but i had to ask.
"felicia why are we laughing?"
"although it sounds like an oxymoron in the most basic sense, you wanting to live forever is all fine and good" she said as she points across the bar with her finger resting towards the bartender "but what happens when she dies?"
that very moment i had a revelation and with that change in my mind a change happened in mouchette. her cigarette burned eyes stared at me as she poured me another vodka and tonic, her smile was just crack on her plastic face.

billy the freak
06 May 2008   what happened to Felicia the Great?? I miss reading her entries. Where are you Felicia??
23 Apr 2007   felicia the great:

did you finnally get your tiffany diamonds?
21 Apr 2007 Felicia The Great It's Felicia the Great again!
I guess it's safe to come back here. Some idiot was posing as Mouchette.org and it didn't really phase me.

Where have Lucy Cortina and Billy the Freak gone? Nobody knows.
08 Feb 2007 FROM ROAD TO HELL AND BACK Hey Sicko!

I used to go out with Felicia The Great and you know what, She's much smarter than you think.

DO DON'T FUCK WITH HER, WHOEVER YOU ARE, YOU MINDLESS PEICE OF SHIT!!!!
15 Nov 2006   hoplessness.
that is what i have observed from your writings.
felicia actually thinks she has hope. you should tell her she is terribly mistaken. she is engaged now. i dont know. now that she has someone in life maybe she wont kill herself after all. hope it lasts.
14 Nov 2006 a pic of an ass in my inbox. dont kill yourself over some spam kids. it isnt worth it. it is just a pic of an ass in your inbox. mouchette wont quit sending it to people when they post here.

according to what felicia said everyone that comes here is getting thier inboxes filled with spam.
so i wont put my email addie down.

dont kill yourself over some spam kids. it isnt worth it.
13 Nov 2006 Felicia the Great Dear To Whom It May Concern,

There has been a spammer identified as thuguyyyy@gmail.com, or thugyyyy@gmail.com It is a malicious email that must be blocked in your account. Do not, I repeat, do not answer any of its emails or open any of its attachments.

Please forward the email to abuse@gmail.com or webmaster@gmail.com

Sailor_kg6hdw_mercury@yahoo.com has no part in sending spam email to you. This is my personal email I had since
2000.

Thank you,
Felicia The Great
11/13/06
10:59 pm Pacific time
07 Nov 2006 The Original Felicia The Great Mouchette Is Just A Blog Site

Whatever you may think, this is a blog site. There are volunteers on call reading these emails.

What's even scarier still is there are people who are hired to scan through blogs and billions of emails. Most of it is to scan for company secrets or subliminal messages.

I feel sorry for people who are on the verge of killing themselves though. This site once used to be a haven for us crazy people who want to kill ourselves. Now technology considers this to be a joke.
If you read closely, I have something to disclose to you.

Live the moment of truth and set yourself free from mindless jargon.

Open your heart to new beliefs. Don't limit yourself to one belief. You will lead a stagnant life if you do. But be sure to choose your belief's wisely.

Value your family and friends. Stay away from the wrong influences and cling to positive role models. I am not saying you shouldn't be yourself, but make the most of what you can become by helping others.

Engage in activities that are postitive. Steer clear from sexual immorality because it is tiring. It causes harm to your body and soul. Believe me. A double life is not all fun and games.

Understand that each day is the first day of the rest of your life.
27 Oct 2006 The Original Felicia The Great The Call To Jury Duty
(Note: Case will not be disclosed for the protection of the client.)

By The Original Felicia The Great

There I sat on the chair with boring novel in my hand, falling asleep between intervals and restless beyond belief. No iPods were allowed, all cell phones all turned off, the never ending urge to go pee but I couldn't. It took days to be picked as a Juror and finally it was the day.

There I was, poor innocent me, feeling a wee tinge nervous... I, The Original Felicia The Great.. .ready to decide the outcome of one's fate. I, the ninth juror, was the one to say GUILTY or NOT GUILTY.

It is sad to see the jurors, who were excused from the premises, and I was thinking...Oh dear God? Why wasn't it me? One juror,who was so excited to get picked was pardoned. Here I was, with miniscule mind asking that question over and over why I was picked. There I was to be sworn, to speak the truth, to speak the whole truth, and nothing but the truth.... SO HELP ME GOD.

Till next week, same bat time, same bat place, same bat channel.
19 Oct 2006 The Original Felicia The Great  
29 Sep 2006 The Original Felicia The Great Everybody is claiming they are Felicia The Great, but I am the originator of this name. But nobody cares! Since I started this trend, I am going to change it to "The Original Felicia The Great".

So you are wondering why I am writing in this post. It's for countless reasons. Number one, its for recognition, number two, I'm doing some 15 minute timed writings. And number three, to talk people and myself out of killing ourselves. Literally, everyday we are gradually dying for no unknown cause due to earthly elements beyond our control and stuffing our faces with unhealthy food or barfing it out, whatever turns you on.

But for now, I am going to stop babbling, and get to the heart of the matter in why you are visiting this site.

You are in my situation. You feel that things happened beyond your control. Your self esteem is down the toilet, you have good looks but you don't feel good inside or you have bad looks and feel ugly in the inside. You got rejected or getting ejected. Either way, you feel screwed.

Well, in a nutshell, if you kill yourself, you soon will go into purgatory. That is the place between heaven and hell. If you believe in neither, well, when you do go into purgatory, you will tell yourself in some other realm somewhere that "The Original Felicia The Great, TOLD YOU THERE'S A PURGATORY!" And by the time you are there, its too late. You will be haunting houses, people, and places, only to find out that your haunting tactics will bring in tourist attractions and you will find that you will not share the wealth with these business entrepreneurs making themselves rich off of you. You will be flipping them off and nobody notices. Then your motive is to make objects move around and making things fly accross the room as if some nincompoop in the afterlife didn't attempt to do this. Awwww! Come on!!!

Please send your post immediately on this sight so I can send you some feedback in how to handle this suicidal problem. Probably you and I can talk ourselves out of it.

Don't kill yourself yet, I have more to talk about. If you don't feel like dealing with me, just pretend you are doing a 15 minute timed writing.
29 Jun 2006 Felicia The Great  
27 Jun 2006 Felicia on Lisa Frito Boob Envy Dear Lisa Frito,

Why kill yourself over the salami sandwich I ate from the break room?

It was 2 weeks old! I was a charity case.

It was left there for days.

And by the way, Lucy Cortina heard rumor about your silicon implants. She is rather disturbed. You have the real ones. I said, no...no...no...no!!! You have tomatoes that will stay pert for years.

Mine will sag someday. One day, I will go shopping and will have to look for a support bra and mistakenly buy a double jock strap returned by some hermaphrodite down on her/his luck because they were turned down by Hugh Hefner's video audition.

Then I will arrive home, use it for a week and get boob rash from jock itch.

Lucy!!! Help me on this one!!!
24 Apr 2006 Felicia The Great  
25 Mar 2006 Felicia The Great The majority of people who want to commit suicide is over an ex or rejection, young or old.

I want to make this clear to you, "Why are you killing yourself over this person?"

--You may cut and paste my comment--

Ask yourself this at least a thousand times. As you become used to saying this, give your ex or whoever rejected you a call or email and reply, "Listen, I know everyday you see yourself in the mirror and poop and pee like everybody else. I know you pick your nose, scratch your ass, pick your teeth, fart, masturbate, and do no-no's when nobody else is looking. So don't deny yourself. In three hundred years, it's not going to matter even in the afterlife or whatever). Then say to this person "I Love You!" and if they reply negatively or without response, then you made your point clearly.

And you only need to do it ONCE!

--Now don't you forget to cut and paste!--
01 Feb 2006 Felicia The Great To Mouchette:

Please post this one in the help forum:

If you feel like killing yourself, do this first:

1.) Stop and start breathing. Take deep breaths and breathe out slowly.

2.) Call the Suicide prevention hotline.
1.800.SUICIDE (784-2433)

3.) Call a friend or significant other to see you immediately and if you are fainting call 911. Suicidal tendencies are not symptoms, it is an illness. Please seek help immediately because you are not in your right mind at this moment.
19 Jan 2006 Lucy Cortina I have at last escaped from Mouchettes mansion. He trapped me in the bathroom with the rotting corpse of his mother. It was horrible! So horrible that my boobs accidentally began to inflate until they almost touched the floor where the blood was. There was the issue of Mouchettes brains inside my boobs to deal with too. They had a tug of war with my "boobie brains" and my boobie brains won. So now Mouchette has nowhere to keep his spare brains. I have exorcised them from my boobs at last.

I escaped from Mouchettes mansion by climbing out of the window, 7 stories high, and using my boobs to cushion the fall. I tell you, I practically bounced from France back to England!
Ahhhh you can't beat Enfland. Nothing like a cup of tea and a cream bun. Or if you're me, a cream bun that sticks to your boobs when you lean over to eat it.

When I got back to England, I ignored the many attempts by Mouchette to contact me on my pink slimline mobile telephone with last number redial. I caught up with the news by reading a few papers (the gossip columns anyway). And there it was, a golden snippet of information that would shatter my world (again): "Lottery winner plans to buy new Mercededes, a boob-job and room for a pony for exotic American girlfriend Felicia Floresca". I literally had a boob-attack on the spot! I thought I was going to die, it was all too much for me. I ordered mum to buy me 20 chocolate bars from the shop. After eating those, and feeling very ill, I called the bitch (and reversed the charge since she can now afford such luxuries) and told her what I thought of her.

No one puts Lucy Cortinas boobs out of joint!
18 Jan 2006 fucking a Oh yeah, quit posting here looking for help or like "felicia the great" posting stupid ass shit! :-0. You people all suck and have my permission to do away with your worthless existence.

Much more than this....
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