Date	Name/email Nom/email	What is the best way to kill yourself when you're under 13? Quelle est la meilleure forme de suicide pour les moins de 13 ans?
10 Aug 2008	Mouchette	This page will not be updated until the 28 of August
09 Aug 2008	maryann	please don't my beautiful sister who i love more than my own life took hers 3 years ago and it is killing me.
09 Aug 2008	morula	hi there, i can t really remember where i stoped in my story, i meant to write how i jumped off a balcony from the 3rd floor, i wouldn t know the exact reasons why i did that this is why I told you about the lesbian, so many things pissed me off that night, I was growing more and more nasty you know, the priest later told me I had this great plant that had grown in my chest, he said I lacked oxygene because the plant was taking all the space in my lungs, like it had become more and more difficult for me to breathe, he gave me this book to read too I remember the end, three little mice that march into a cat's mouth, holly fun that book i wonder if you d help me tell me what s the title, and who wrote it, I read 100 times the suicide of the little mouse, but i skipped most passages, I hate romances on TV anyway, i m a natural born hater, my aunt called me evil many times, only the priest made it sound all different telling me of the plant, the girl in the book had a waterlily inside her, I m not sure why hers had started growing, from all I know she committed no sin, the alien in my body was definitely put there for purposes of equity, I thought about the plant, my friend agreed I deserved it, now i m drifting away I meant to write how i jumped from that building, later I drove against a tree and cut open my veins but I m not so proud about those suicides, they suck, I never reached the state of bliss and happiness of flying down that building, the moment before I was choking with disgust, hate was like a poison in my body, I talked to a philosopher that night he was drunk and babbling in ancient greek, I heard him describe exactly how it felt inside me, I was gutted he knew about it, he called that a slave s moral, because it rises from resent, that guy was a professor of philosophy but he was drunk all over, and telling things he d never say normally, how humans are not equal, how they will be rewarded according to the inside of their brains, and some of them were slaves and others were masters, and the homicidal bitch I said, who comes down in every kitchen to determine who will serve and who will eat, I said that like I d been thinking about it, but i was quoting a poet i d heard before, I was only firing some guns at his face for the fun, but i knew he was right in was he said, it all depends on the quantity of resent, how much you ve born with, how much you grow over the years, how much circulates in your fluids, resent makes you despicable, i agreed as a matter of fact I could not contradict him, resent is the lowest emotion, and ugly too and despicable I know, they later called it a "plant", the priest told my mother, like I was human after all now i d listened to all that crap in silence and i d become rather angry in effect, a doctor i met at the hospital diagnosed me paranoid, i had not told him all the details though, and how and why i felt like flying, I swear I felt genuine happiness, that s why i never talk about it, noone would understand it was more than relief I swear the pain had no more importance I was cured and purified, all the hate and anger and resent inside me, and most of all DISGUST no longer ached, the fall lasted no more than 10 seconds, SUICIDE HURTS PEOPLE, SEE THAT BRUISE ON MY WRIST IT HURTS AS MUCH AS MOSQUITO BITES AT LEAST NOW I LOST MY POINT I M SORRY my email is junglevanina771@hotmail.com not the one i entered in the previous message
09 Aug 2008	In 8 years...	There is no best way to kill yourself when you're under 13. My advice would be to see how life past 21 is. 21 is a critical age - not because of drinking legally, but it's official. You can rent a car, drink, smoke, drive, join the army, vote, do whatever you please... at the full extreme of the law. At 21, I've done everything possible to dull anything around me. I've fucked up too many times in my life... might as well try not to be in it. No job, no boyfriend, no real friends... just my room. I get money from my parents for drugs and drinks. They don't know though, I lie. I seem to be lying more often than I ever thought I would when I was younger, like age 13. At 13 - I was depressed, even hospitalized for wrist cutting. I didn't know the "Down the highway, not across the street" rule. Went to consoling. I got great advice... "Take small steps in life." For instance, You can't just wish for a peanut butter sandwich! You have to grab the peanut butter, the bread, get the knife, get the napkins, etc etc. Small steps to complete any goal, even if it's a sandwich. If you think about the big picture, seems like everything can be manageable. By 21, I started asking the question... "What if I want to use a spoon?" ... Is everything off course now? Not that I have more responsibility... can I no longer make wrong choices? And if I do, what happens to me? In the past, I lose people, things and gain horrible memories. I don't want to make any more wrong decisions... It hurts if I do. So, if I made the final decision... I'm sure everything stops then. Sounds like the easiest answer in the world to me. ---I don't know why I wrote here on this site. I was reading, I saw that some people just typed random stuff not even having to do with the actual question. Seems like a nice way to vent or just type something in your head that you can't say out loud to your family even... Anyways, if anyone reads this. Thanks.
09 Aug 2008	crystal	the best way? the best way is to believe everything that is given to you...to rely on other people for answers, rather than search for them yourself. believe advertising...buy everything you see. WATCH TV EVERY DAY. worry about what other people think. eat lots of junk food. then, envision your family full of heartbreak, full of unparalleled angst. see all your friends miserable and forlorn. see all the great things that could have, would have been...had you not chosen to end it. when we're young, life seems so big and bad. everything is a major crisis. and the last thing we want to hear is that our problems are insignificant. but the truth is, in a world with 7+ billion people, insignificance can be a blessing. life is amazing, and being is bewildering. love and light to all of everyone. :)
09 Aug 2008	morula	hiya i tried to commit suicide jumping off balcony when i was 15, i was at a party at my uncle s friend that night, i d been drinking 3 cans of beers so i was slighty drunk but less than everyone else there, they were all downing tons of bottles and having fun, i hate when adults get drunk they are pathetic, m uncle s friend s always say shitty things to me, like asking if i m a virgin, like laughing in my neck with their vile breath full of alcohol, even a female adult at 1 o clock (the time where people are drunk enough but still responsable of their actions i suppose, i know what alcohol does to you and at what moment they begin to act bizarre and lose all dignity those pigs-the-adults) well she grabbed me and pulled me towards her, she told me she was a lesbian but i could have guessed all by myself, well i just pushed her away and called her a "satan a little helper" i knew she was seriously into religion and she would shit herself at the idea of satan on earth, she thus jumped away like she was hit by thunder and began shouting at me, i wouldn t stop yelling myself, i kept it just the right volume so no one would hear me downstairs, i talked like a was a catholic priest repeating "vade retro satanas", she lost control that stupid bitch first shouting and telling me to stop, it became real fun i even grabbed the crucifix around my neck and pointed it at her, like she was a vampire or something, that cow had her eyes full of panic i could see, of course she knows homosexuality is a Sin (i mean if you re catholic like her, not even inn a roman church but listening to fanatical preachers crazy all over, haha) she lost control that bitch i saw the awe in her eyes, like there was all this white in her eyes, to be honest i was frightened all the time (..) i ll sum it up later and i ll continue my story in another message, i haven t told you 5% of the mess that happened that night, in the end i just jumped off the balcony, even though i knew there were little chances i d die falling from 3 floors, but i honestly did my best like i jumped wiht the head first, like i dived in the ocean, fuck it all i landed like i had special powers, like a cat or something i just had this bruize on my wrist and that s all, i lost conscience for 3 minutes, that s how i failed my first suicide (...) ok i ll tell you more later, got to go
09 Aug 2008	morula	yu jump of a high speed train that the best option
08 Aug 2008	shy guy	i am a shy blond jerk. i like to push my friends away. for no reason. i like to change my phone number so others cant call me. i like not paying my phonebill. i like to be a jerk. just thought i would share.
07 Aug 2008	SAW	I was actually trying to look up something that my son was telling me about when I ran across this wonderful website. What the fuck is the matter with you people? I am a mother of 2 and my son mentioned killing himself one time.....I kicked his ass all over the house. All of you self-righteous little punks out there that think this shit is cool need the living shit kicked out of you, to WITHIN an inch of your life! You may not like your parents, or school, or your siblings or what the fuck ever but killing yourself is just another way of being a selfish little prick, or bitch depending on your gender. All you little assholes need to quit cutting yourselves.....how does it go?....."I wish my lawn was EMO, then it would cut itself." Everyone wonders why things are so fucked up?! Look at this website. I've seen people die and it ain't fuckin' funny!
07 Aug 2008	Kuborion	Sometimes I don't think I want to live in a world where you don't exist.
06 Aug 2008	dead inside.	Dear Lover, Do they not have pen or paper where you are? Because I haven't heard from you in ages. I relive each memory from time to time. Read notes exchanged. With all those scented pages. It's coming back, it's all coming back to me now. Tell me everything turned out alright. Because I'm where we said that we'd meet tonight. Does [she] treat you like you want? Does [she] ask to take your hand? Does [she] believe in dreams we talked about? When with no music we danced. I thought you said that you'd come find me. I thought you said you'd be home by now. I heard you sang that you'd come back here. So I wrote to remind you to somehow. Dance by yourself and think of me when you do. I'm not sure you understand what this means to me, what you do to me. But I'm willing to prove that you're the one. I regret to slip away Now I know it was only you that I've been searching for. Been missing all this time. I thought you said that you'd come find me. I thought you said you'd be home by now. I heard you sang that you'd come back here. So I wrote to remind you to somehow. Let the past be past. Let's start today. Letters won't do. I need to see your face. Tell me where to meet. And I'll tell you why we should be. I thought you said that you'd come find me. I thought you said you'd be home by now. I heard you sang that you'd come back here. So I wrote to remind you to somehow.
06 Aug 2008	Mark 1	I want to die now...Why save myself now only to die 60 years later...I am sure I am saving myself time. When will people realize that nothing in this world is forever-therefore dying now maks no difference from dying later. You are just skipping the steps that are uncertain- suicide is a way to take control of your life.
06 Aug 2008	nancy	my name is nancy. no, i don't have a degree in psychology. but i would love to help you all. email me. umm_hey_world@hotmail.com. if you're legit then i can call you. please. don't do this.
05 Aug 2008	Zodiac	stress, loneliness, low self-esteem, rage, and depression the things that make me want to end it all grab the gun and pull the trigger
05 Aug 2008	Kuborion	Sometimes I don't think I want to live in a world where I exist.
05 Aug 2008	dave	i have tried everything, i tryied hanging drowning setting fire to myself. wats the point of living if u have nothing to live for, my own dad says he wished i died at birth and im a faliure. i need help coz if i dont get any ill do it and sucedd, if u have any help plz email me at bluerover92@hotmail.com. ty i just want to die so badly!
02 Aug 2008	where r u ?	where did Al go? he hasnt lent support to anyone lately. guess he was fake.
02 Aug 2008	zaroalex	Im 17 and well life is freaking gay. it sucks ass.. nobody fucking cares about each other no more.. people are so freaking shallow and selfish that is really funny and annoying!! you go loving someone and they say they dont fucking like you and ending up liking your friends.. yea friends... it didnt happened once and they damn girls ended up liking all of my friends but me!! FUCK!!! THE ONLY ONE THAT REALLY LIKED, OR BETTER YET, LOVED THEM!!!! i dont fucking get women.. then they go all sad and crying because their boyfriend did this or wants to break up with them.. well.. THATS WHAT YOU FUCKING GET FOR GOING AFTER THE FUCKING GUY THAT DONT LIKE YOU!!! THE ONLY REASON WHY THE GUY IS GOING OUT WITH YOU IS BECASUE YOU LIKE HIM!!! really.. but its sad how one guy can love someone sooo freaking much.. someone who stopped caring about them because he did this or got jealous..wow and how many times or how many crap has your boyfriend done it to you??? really.. fucking messed up... now theres nothing left to do but die... ive learn things that most people live their whole lives trying to learn.. but i learned it faster then most.. now i can die in peace..only one regret... that she wasnt my girl...
02 Aug 2008	Jeff	Life is totally not worth living alone. I hate getting so fucking depressed whenever I'm by myself. On Thursday we went to the Nine Inch Nails concert (Nick, Bill, Nick's friend Fred, and myself) and towards the end this girl came up and we had all been drinking a bit and she acted as if she knew Bill though later I found out he didn't even know her. Anyways she heard me singing and told me she wanted to hear more, we were flirting around a bit cheering for Trent together and stuff while he was playing "In This Twilight". That was so fucking beautiful. At the end she told me I was her boyfriend for a few minutes. I can barely manage anymore. I've never been so low for so long. I just wish things didn't seem so hopeless. I don't know what the fuck is wrong, why things just aren't working out. I don't know why no one loves me. It's like I have this poison in my mind now that's trying to destroy me. It's like God is laughing at me. Taking away something I needed so bad. Not ever letting me have it. I am 24 years old and I just want to die. I cannot live without love. What's the point? I hate being fucking sad all the time, I hate feeling like nothing's worthwhile, I hate having nothing and no one to live for, I hate feeling like everyone thinks I'm a loser or something, I hate sleeping alone all the time. I don't know why the world and me seem to be at odds all the time, and I don't know why I can't find anyone else who truly understands. Watch the sun, As it crawls across a final time And it feels like, Like it was a friend. It is watching us, And the world we set on fire Do you wonder, If it feels the same? And the sky is filled with light Can you see it? All the black is really white If you believe it As your time is running out Let me take away your doubt We can find a better a place In this twilight Dust to dust, Ashes in your hair remind me What it feels like And I won't feel again Night descends Could I have been a better person? If I could only do it all again And the sky is filled with light Can you see it? All the black is really white If you believe it And the longing that you feel You know none of this is real We will find a better a place In this twilight
01 Aug 2008	dead inside.	This is the end. I can feel it in my bones, in my skin. Like a disease eating each molecule of my being one by one. Something inside me is dying. Again. I can feel it. It makes my bones ache. I can't afford to let anything more die inside me. I've lost so much...I've been hanging on by threads. A cool breeze came and saved me a few years ago. It filled me with fresh life...I felt alive. I could feel with every nerve in my body. My blood flowed through me like a clean river, cleansing each organ, each memory, each thought. The parts that died so long ago were awakened. They rejoiced. Drank from the river as if it was the last water left to drink from. Each part of me was alive...or atleast working its way to being alive again. Being fully functional again. But in some deep dark part of my head I knew that it was just a breeze. It would come and go. Like all things in life. It would come and cleanse my world, awaken me.....then blow away, to find someone else....leaving me to die all over again. But to my surprise, it stayed. It kept vivifying me with its life. Whispering secrets in my ear. Willing me to live. Willing me to feel. Willing me to breathe. And so I lived. And I felt. And I breathed. Every morning, I'd wake up thinking, this is the day it leaves....today I will be alone again. But it stayed with me. It completed me. Like a puzzle. It filled in all those missing pieces. It covered me. Like a lover. It stayed over, keeping me safe. Protecting me. Loving me. When the wind blew from the other direction, my breeze fought it. The other winds tried to blow me away....tried to suck me into their abyss of nothingness....but my heavenly breeze was strong. It blew and fought....until all those that tried to hurt me, that tried to take me away from it, faded away. It stayed with me on all those black nights when I was sure something big and bad would jump out of the shadows and consume me. It fought for me. It kept me alive. It strengthened me. And so I started believing that it would stay with me forever. For all of eternity. It would hold me together. Everything inside me became clean. Pure like a virgin. Unharmed and untouched. It caressed me where no hand can touch. At each caress, my nerves tingled with life. And just like that it became my whole world. But then, when I let all my walls down...when I started believing that I would never be alone again, never be left at the worlds mercy again......it blew away. Just like any other gust of wind. My heavenly breeze blew past me. Away from me. Taking all the life and warmth it had brought with it. And I was left gasping for air. Each breath of air felt like poison, because I couldn't taste the sweetness of that comfort that I thought would always be mine. My breeze left me just like that. Like I was nothing special. Like it had better things to do. And I know that it is out there now, protecting someone else. Someone who deserves it more then me. Yet, I am selfish...it was mine. It was my protector. It was my lover. And now I am dying inside all over again. Each part that was caressed now withers away like the remains of a long forgotten corpse. Each organ that once bloomed to life, like a rose....has now deflated; become hallow once more. All the life, the warmth, the comfort, the love.....all of it is gone. I am empty. Just a shell. I try to beckon it. Try to will my breeze to come back to me. But it doesn't hear me. Maybe it was all a distant dream. But at night, when the demons come out to take my soul away....something inside me trembles, shudders with the memories of my breeze. My aura still lingers with the scent of the protection that was once there. The demons eat chunks of my soul. The try to devour my heart. But I wrap my arms around me, hugging myself, whispering to that distant breeze, calling out to it, coaxing it, summoning it to come save me again. No one comes. I am dying again. I cannot survive the world without my breeze. I whisper to it at night. I believe it is out there somewhere. The world will not let me survive. Without it I am nothing. I miss you. I will always love you. The places you once filled inside me are still empty...awaiting your return. I won't survive this without you. I need you. Please breathe life back into my bones. Please gust my way once more. Please.

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